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[Love] Someone on Sugarloaf Key loves everybody. Happy holidays you all! |
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Happy Holidays and thank you for making a difference for families in Monroe County. Wishing you a happy holiday season and looking forward to the hope of 2021. Your Friends at United Way of Collier and the Keys |
| I liked the Christmas jingle at the top of Tuesday’s CocoTele. Merry Christmas, Festive Festivus and Happy New Year! |
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| [Messing With Mother Nature Department] Tips for keeping cicadas away for good. Often confused for locusts, cicadas are some of the noisiest and most notorious insects in the United States, if not in the world. These large, flying insects spend most of their time as immature nymphs underground, and some species lay dormant for nearly two decades. Link |
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| [Movies] Once you’ve seen actors enough where you know their names, you’re likely to become sick of them unless they are the great big stars. When you know their names it’s time for them to go to TV. |
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| [Russia Has Hacked Our Computer Systems] And our minds. The more we learn about the recent hack into dozens of America’s most critical computer networks — widely attributed to Russia — the more it becomes clear that it is massive, unprecedented and crippling. Link |
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| [Spaying] What happens to an indoor cat if you don’t spay it? Do they get weirder? |
Merry Christmas from Marc and Lee Ann. |
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| Wishing you a festive holiday season and a very happy new year filled with peace, happiness and of course, lots of big fish! ~Capt. Scott Yetter. |
[Gas] Forget the virus, we’re all going to die from old dinosaur farts. Link |
| [Friday Joke] The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she answered. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now – in her 80’s – a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. She smiled and explained, “I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.” |
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| Aluminum can be recycled indefinitely! |
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 Is your wife getting out of line? Is she doing crazy things like thinking her own thoughts, wanting respect, and putting on clothes? Have you recently caught her expecting you to behave like an adult man and do things for yourself? Is she, God forbid, having opinions and aspirations? Gasp! Fear not the Committee for a Better America is here to save the day. Just send away for your free copy of our new training manual and your wife will be back in the grips of servitude in no time at all. Enough of this woman’s rights bs, Enough of the independent female. Enough of the disrespect. Fix it or trade her in for 5 youngies ASAP |
Most popular cat breeds. Link |
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| Lets have a national sales tax and get rid of the income tax that not so many pay. That is the only fair taxing for all. The rich will no longer have loopholes thus adding to the Treasury and lowering the cost of the sales tax.
Or, if not, how about a graduated income tax and let the rich show their gratitude for the protections she gives them. |
Mole Asses |
| [Prejudice] Air Force: Black people more often investigated, punished. Black service members in the Air Force are far more likely to be investigated, arrested, face disciplinary actions and be discharged for misconduct, according to a new report that looked at racial disparities across the service. The report by the Air Force inspector general, released Monday, said Black members of the Air Force and Space Force are less likely to be promoted to higher enlisted and officer ranks, and one-third of them believe they don’t get the same opportunities as their white peers. Link |
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Deer Santa, This is not what I meant when I asked for a 40-year-old cougar. |
| [Lawyers] Our government is based on a system of checks and balances. This means that no single person or group has absolute power over the country. And yet, who balances the Keys’ lawyers? What we, the American people, have to do is get control away from the Keys lawyers who have perverted our government for their personal profit. The easiest way to do that is to replace the crooked lawyers in our government with honest business-people. Check on the candidates during the next election and see for yourself who the lawyers are, and then vote for someone else. As William Shakespeare said, “Let’s kill all the lawyers” |
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The company Pfizer, which yesterday announced the vaccine against Covid-19 soon, is the same company that created Viagra. Therefore, we can fully rely on the announced vaccine, because if Pfizer was able to raise the dead, they will much more easily cure the living |
[Vaccine] Every hospital, doctors office, and clinic have the shots for free, except for the Irish, who have to go to their local bar and pay $3 for a shot! Sounds predigest to me. |
      
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