2023 December

Friday, December 1, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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I thought I would share this with you. This was a school assignment, he chose to write about Big Pine Key:

I am from conch shells and coconuts, from low-tide and sunscreen.
I am from crabs under the dock (red and blue, shining through the clear water).
I am from iguanas,basking themselves in the giving Sun whose heat bakes them and me, unforgivingly.
I am from fresh grilled fish from the day’s catch, and the stories of the one that got away.
I am from excitement that is about to burst from my chest, as I reel in the lemon shark as if I have the strength of Iron Man.
I am from barracudas, that cut my line with their razor sharp teeth.
I am from No Name Pub and Key deer who eat the pizza from the plates of children as if they found their perfect porridge.
I am from tarpon that swim above the green dock light, taunting me with their smiles of freedom.
I am from the Grady White and Pathfinder boat motors grumbling.
I am from blue calm skies and water that looks smooth as glass.
I am from lightning storms with fingers that reach from the sky to the ocean.
In my room were mermaids, my dogs Addie and Hannah, sleeping like babies after their long boating day.
I am from calm and quiet, from gentle winds and no-see-ums.
I am from boat anchors and masks and snorkels and fins.
In my head are the memories of George’s place that Parks has shared with me.
~ Aidan Traylor-Willey (12 years old)
Gainesville, Fl

[“Rag and bone man”] When I was a small kid we’d all rush to the street when we heard the rag man shouting “Rags” as he made his way through the neighborhood. We all wanted to see his horse, a raggedy old critter who’d seen better years. What I remember most was that the horse wore blinders. None of the TV cowboy’s horses wore blinders and I thought it was wrong for the horse. He also had a feedbag and I wondered how the horse would eat the food at the bottom. I was about 5 or 6 and I still remember the horse’s name, “Applehead”.
[Friday Joke] “If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up”, said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
“Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?”, inquired the teacher with a sneer.
“Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”

[Evacuation] Please inform the Florida DOT that those who cannot evacuate to try some Ex-Lax – lots of it.

Elon Musk has boosted the ‘pizzagate’ conspiracy theory five times in the last two weeks. A new iteration of “pizzagate” has focused on unfounded claims that journalists were part of the conspiracy theory. It’s past time to delete your “X” account. Link
I ordered an item on eBay and when I paid I noticed that delivery isn’t until next year. I immediately tried to cancel. eBay said too early, wait for transaction to go through. I waited one hour and eBay said: “it’s too late to cancel this order. Please contact the seller to see if you can work something out.” After much ado, a couple of days later, I got the refund.

Look at the size of your liver compared to your heart. You’re designed to drink more and care less.
[“Toilet paper in the fridge explanation”] There was an enormous study done regarding the toilet paper/fridge aroma mess! Results: The best results were if you used new tp. 2nd best was using the used tp. This survey was done at ‘Brown’ University in Providence R. I.

The 36th annual Best of What’s New awards. The 50 greatest innovations of 2023. Link
Blood Drive this Monday, December 4th by Bealls in the Big Pine Shopping Center from 12 to 5.  Donor gifts are a One Blood blanket and $20 eGift Card. All donors also receive a Free Wellness Checkup including blood pressure, pulse, temperature, iron count and cholesterol screening. To schedule an appointment visit and enter your zip code and the from and to dates.   As always, a huge thanks to those who donate blood.


Florida reindeer.

Fiber optic cables can pick up cicadas’ droning din. A proof-of-concept study found that the same tech that carries high-speed internet might help track notoriously noisy insects. Link

This is why you don’t put Christmas lights on palm trees.
Margarine is not only one molecule away from plastic. This myth has been circulating for more than 50 years-perhaps longer, recently on Facebook. Margarine, like all fatty acids, have a similar chemistry to plastics including, yep, butter. But in chemistry, tiny differences in chemical makeup lead to drastically different substances. Bon appetite!
Has anyone else out there noticed a difference in the coarseness of Morton Kosher salt? Do the crystals seem smaller or have my fingers in their arthritic old age lost the feel. Also, it seems to have a little more salinity. Not crazy just curious. Roses are red violets are blue I’m schizophrenic and so am I
[Friday Joke] Putin is held hostage by a terrorist. A Russian truck driver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. He sees a policeman walking down the line of stopped cars to briefly talk to the drivers. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truck driver rolls down his window and asks, “What’s going on?”
Policeman: “A terrorist is holding Putin hostage in a car. He’s demanding 10 million rubles, or he’ll douse Putin in petrol and set him on fire. So we’re asking drivers for donations.”
Driver: “Oh, ok. How much do people donate on average.”
Policeman: “About a gallon.”

Little ringed plover bird using natural umbrella leaf. Video
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Hurricane Season
officially ends today, and that means the coast Is clear!
[United Way of Collier and the Keys] Here are a few ways your donation can make a difference:
$25 can provide 1 month of high-quality childcare for a local sponsored family.
$50 can cover job coaching for 6 veterans$100 supports 5 nights of shelter for 5 women affected by domestic violence.
Click here to see some of our Community Partners and Agencies and examples of how your donations help!
[Friday Joke] A guy said to God, “God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?”
God said yes.
The guy said, “God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?”
God said yes.
The guy said, “God, can I have a penny?”
God said, “Sure, just a second.”
[Generosity] A guy named Dale Schroeder grew up poor in Iowa, never married, had no children, and worked as a carpenter at the same company for 67 years and only owned two jeans. He spent his life savings to send 33 students to college.
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The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/1/23 at 9:30 am.