2019 December

Friday, December 13, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

(Ed: Sorry for being late today, the internet went out and I’ve been waiting to publish. After all, it is Friday the 13th.)
If your think these “bad cop” Monroe County/KW police stories are rare and/or isolated, just wait until one of these rednecks grabs you up and runs you through their inhumane jail system. It will cost you over $5000 for attorney and bail, even if your case is a labeled a  misdemeanor and dropped.  It’s a giant scam.

Once in detention, you are just a number and treated like you are guilty, no question about it. The limited phone system is cruel, and profit based. As far as everyone there is concerned, you wouldn’t be in jail if you weren’t guilty. Been there. Done that.

The good guys have turned into the greedy bad guys. The whole system is profit based where everyone involved scratches each other’s back at your expense. If an officer has goofed-off most of his shift, then your chance of being hoarded into jail is higher because he may have to justify his actions for that shift. This also controls their discretion when giving traffic tickets, although those can be weekly or monthly quotas that all departments deny exist.

I also had a good friend who was a cop who told me all the stories, which by the way; he laughed about. He would goof off most of his shift, then go out to the freeway and write a handful of tickets in a few minutes. I asked him if his superiors would question all the tickets being written in the last hour of his shift and his answer was that he would leave the time off of most of the citations.





[Christmas on the Old 7 Mile Bridge] The mystery decorators outdid themselves this year with a terrific holiday display with many new elements. I like the menorah too. The logistics of setting up and taking down that display are awesome. It’s pretty funny that no one can take a photo of the great display. That’s pretty hard to do while going 60 mph.

[Friday Joke] Three men approached the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter says, “You must possess an item that symbolizes Christmas to enter.” 1st man pulls out a lighter. “This represents a candle.”  2nd man jingles keys. “Bells.” 3rd man has women’s panties. St. Peter looks puzzled. The man replied, “These are Carol’s.”
[New World Screwworm] “Deer Disease” response by Save Our Key Deer, Inc to Tuesday’s post: Excellent question. The short answer is, no, your photo does not likely show a case of New World Screwworm although it can be difficult to assess an animal from photos alone. Your photo looks a lot like a head wound from a rutting fight – all that can be seen is tissue loss and blood. Save Our Key Deer has been alerted to several buck head-wound cases recently, some very serious that from the sent photos did look like potential Screwworm infections, but upon physical examination were determined not to be Screwworm. In a most recent case, we examined a very badly injured buck who was practically scalped! and then noticed a piece of skin and fur wrapped around one of his antlers, a remnant from his rutting opponent. We’d hate to see what that other buck looks like!

Unfortunately, such wounds can lead to bigger problems for the Key Deer bucks and other whitetails. A relatively common head infection begins when bacteria invades the wound. The infection usually produces yellow-green pus and can eventually heal, or it can progress into an abscess–a pus-filled pocket in the brain. If the infection invades the brain, you will see neurologic signs such as circling, or incoordination and the deer will rapidly lose weight. A 2002 scientific study found 19.4% of the 170 dead Key Deer they examined had primary cranial bacterial infections – and 48.5% likely died as a direct result of its complications. So, a significant number of Key Deer bucks die of a fight-started head infection.

Another possibility is a car-related wound that is not infected. Any wound can have maggots deposited from dead meat or eating blow flies, however, New World Screwworm larvae feed on living tissue like zombies do.

Please report all wounds to the FWC hotline at 305-470-6863 ext. 7. We at Save Our Key Deer can help by evaluating injured or ill deer located on private property, but please report it to the hotline too. When appropriate, we share our assessment (including photos and video) with local veterinarians and wildlife veterinarian professors at Tufts University. We usually engage the Refuge Manager in any veterinarian assessment and treatment. Like humans, Key deer become terminally ill and die, and our efforts are not directed toward delaying natural death causes. We believe, however, that human-caused illness, injury, and Key deer orphans deserve compassionate, skilled care. We have the resources to evaluate and pay for appropriate intervention for our beloved and deserving Key deer.
Thank you!
Valerie Preziosi
President, Save Our key Deer



Lost iPad on Granda Ave, Big Pine or vicinity. If found, please contact Thank you.


[Friday Joke] A man was walking in the park and saw an old man sitting on a bench crying.  He stopped and asked what was wrong.  The old man said, “I’m married to a 25-year old woman. We have sex twice a day, she’s a great cook, keeps a beautiful home and gives me anything I want.
“So, what’s the problem? why are you crying?  The old man sniffed and said, “I can’t remember where I live.”



[Private Party] Deer Ed, please do not post information from Port Pine Heights Property Owners Association ( These functions are for Port Pine Heights residents only. We have had some people show up to one and had to turn them away. Merry Christmas.

[Ignorance Is Bliss Department] The less you care the happier you will be.
[“Sea level rise”] Maybe 40 years ago a plan evolved to place a huge, gently-spinning, space-web of connected mylar filaments to circulate far above Earth between the Earth and the Sun. The idea was to lower Earth’s temperatures. Now we’re being told, “The Time is Nigh”.  So, what temperature would you like the Earth to be?





[Sears] How many of you used to wait for the Sears Christmas catalog to come out.

[Octopus vs Eagle] How to save an eagle from an octopus. Video



[Seven Mile Tree] Driving over the 7 Mile Bridge the last few days I could see the mystery Christmas tree decorators working on the Australian pine on the old bridge. “You ain’t seen nuttin’, so say nuttin’!” Everyone knows it’s illegal for anyone to be on the old bridge, so no one is decorating any tree, are they? Keep your eyes focused on the road and pay attention to your business, capiche? Otherwise we’re goin’ fishin’ an’ the only sandwich in the cooler ain’t yours. Oh, and Merry Christmas!

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, December 14, 10 am at the senior center.  Having problems with a personal device?  Maybe we can help.  Open to all! Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[Tax Prep Volunteers Needed] United Way of the Florida Keys offers free tax preparation throughout the Keys thanks to the hard work of our volunteers, and we need more of you to help!

The VITA (Volunteer Income Tax Assistance) program is designed to assist qualified taxpayers with preparing their annual tax returns and to ensure that limited income families receive every available credit.  Volunteers help fellow Keys residents maximize their tax return so they are better able to provide for their families, thereby making our community more affordable for all. Our program is growing and we need more volunteers to make this important work possible.

After attending a free, one day, hands-on training in early January, volunteers complete their IRS certification and then assist at tax preparation events scheduled regularly throughout the Keys. Volunteers’ scheduling and location are flexible, running January through April. No tax experience is necessary, just a willingness to learn, grow and serve. In addition to the tax preparers, greeters and translators are also needed. 305-735-1929 or

[“So called “fire traps”] Go look at them, especially the ones put up in the last couple years before IRMA. The ones I saw looked like they held up pretty good against the Cat 4 storm. My bet is most of the northern transplants won’t. They’ll flee.
[Friday Joke] Yesterday my wife said she wanted to go somewhere she hadn’t been for awhile. I said, “How about the laundry room.” That’s when the fight started.
[Charity Study Results] The study found that 98 percent of Florida adults ages 18 and older made charitable donations in the last 12 months. While only 58 percent of those donating to charities said they knew how to verify if a charity is properly registered in Florida, a large majority (85 percent) are researching charities prior to making a donation.
Key Survey Findings:
Ninety-eight percent donated to a charitable cause in the past year.
More than 60 percent gave less than $1,000 per year.
Eighty-four percent reported that federal tax reform did not affect their giving.
Eighty-five percent do some or a lot of research into their chosen charities prior to donating.
Fifty-eight percent know how to verify if a charity is permitted to fundraise in Florida.
Sixty percent were not familiar with FDACS’s efforts to prevent charity fraud.
Fifty-nine percent give to charities in Florida.
Forty-eight percent gave to national charities.
Letters and emails were the most frequently preferred methods of solicitation.


[Rotary Club Missing] In the “Ongoing Events” section, listed is the Rotary meeting at Bistro 31 (as you know they’ve changed hands).  Do you know where and when they meet now?  I’m thinking of joining. Full Menu > Ongoing Events

[Navy Hymn] “Eternal Father” for 75th Anniversary of attack on Pearl Harbor.
Eternal Father, strong to save,
Whose arm does bind the restless wave,
Who bids the mighty ocean deep
Its own appointed limits keep … Video
[“Sea level rise”] Looks like this is real so I say be smart and live on a boat because all your houses will soon be waterfront properties


[Keys Sinking] Now I realize why the Keys seem to be sinking in December every year. That is when the first “load” of jersey girls arrives.

[Correction to the correction]  “General Dynamics Electric Boat Corp awarded a $22,209,893,409 to build subs. I think that’s 24 trillion!”
“Nope, it’s 24 billion”
Wrong again by nearly 2 billion or more. It’s $22.2 billion in most of the world where a billion is 1,000 million, (derived from the French definition), but not where a billion is a million million, i.e. having 12 zeros instead of 9 after the 1 (derived from the old British definition). Not even math is a universal language! Link
[Crime] Based on 2018 reported crime statistics, there is a burglary every 26 seconds on average in the U.S. . There is a sexual assault every 73 seconds on average (but the rate has fallen 63% since 1993). A woman gets raped every two minutes on average in the US. Women with disabilities are rape victims twice as often as those without. Of 2018 armed assaults of all kinds, 35% had a firearm involved, 23% had a knife involved. Something else was used in the rest .”Pack heat” and odds are about 13 to 1 that you are better armed than your attacker. As Tarzan once said, “It’s a jungle out there, Jane.”
[Celebrities] It is amazing to read about the celebs who go away for unknown reasons. The ones who live long don’t work hard or threaten their health by over doing everything, but the ones that die off either do drugs or flash political views that rock the boat. Sports figures seem to go quickly for obvious reasons. I other words keep partying and keep your view to yourself! Make America great again or else!


[Self-Centered News] What ever happened to real news, like what the farmers are up against, what is happening in AU, NZ and Finland? Seems all that we hear about is politics and the coming crash of the USA. Who are these media moguls anyway? The world could be on fire and they’d never tell us.

I watched the impeachment hearings Thursday until I couldn’t stand it any longer. I’m sorry to say that both sides lied and stretched the truth to points that were embarrassing. I was ashamed for my side. I thought we had higher moral values than those displayed.
[Genome Sequencing and CRISPR Engineering] Two revolutionary tools are overhauling healthcare as we know it today: genome sequencing and CRISPR engineering. Sequencing the first human genome took about 13 years of research and over US$2.7 billion to complete. Today, it’s on its way to becoming a $100, 1-hour-long process. As genetic sequencing continues to take off, you’ll know the foods, supplements, and exercise regimens that are perfect for you. You’ll understand which microbes inhabit your gut, and what diet keeps them healthy and fit. You’ll know which diseases you’re most likely to develop and gain the tools to prevent them. Meanwhile, the global CRISPR market is soaring to a nearly US$3.1 billion valuation by 2023, promising to correct up to 89 percent of disease-causing genetic variations. Welcome to the era of hyper-personalized medicine. Let’s dive in.
That Greta Thunberg woman is hot but a little to clean for the Keys. If we could get her to chain smoke and drink heavily for ten years, she would fit right in at the Tiki hut. The locals would of course all hit on her- at least until she told them to get rid of their noisy, polluting motorcycles and only eat kale.


[Fart Power] A man whose deadly farts ‘can kill mosquitoes” was hired to create mosquito repellent made from his intestinal gas. Making cents and sense out of scents. Link

[Crooks] Impersonators are out there ready to take advantage of organizations using Business Email Compromise (BEC). There has been a consistent uptick in BEC claims negatively impacting Centennial Bank customers. Some scams: Bogus invoices for payment, CEO Fraud requesting transfers to accounts they control, Account Compromise from a hacked email account, Attorney Impersonation requesting payment for confidential matters, Data Theft. If you feel you have been victimized by a scam similar to this please reach out to your bank.

[Keys Turned Off] What is happening to the Keys? they seem to be turned off. We visited last month and left early because it seems there’s no life left down here. Back to Texas for us.

[Captain Doom and Gloom] What ever happened to real women and real men on this planet? Seems there is nothing in the news but wimps, sissies, molesters, con men and lawyers.