2018 December

Friday, December 14, 2018

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.



Brightest comet of the year will zoom near Earth this week. Skywatchers will get a special treat this week as the year’s brightest comet flies across the night sky. Its closest approach to Earth will be Sunday, Dec. 16. The Keys have the perfect sky to see this! Video

[“Dog poop”] If an owner of a dog who poops, carelessly leaves a poo on your yard, the neighborly thing to do is to courteously return it to him or her.  The first time return it in a bag as a reminder that is where poo belongs.  After that, if it happens again, I recommend returning it to their doorstep, with out the bag!
DUI arrests are big money for the County so they go for them a little too zealously. My friend was arrested with DUI although she had not had anything to drink in over a month. But she did have a medical condition with symptoms that could be misinterpreted, and she had accidentally backed into a truck when leaving a parking lot. The Prosecutor dropped the charge to “reckless driving” since she blew a zero alcohol and had no illegal drug evidence in her urine sample, but she is out about $7,000, spent time in jail, and they still have not dropped bond or altered the arrest report. It is really easy to be arrested for DUI when you are not legally drunk if you don’t know the tricks the cops use to create false evidence- like an exaggerated breath alcohol reading.

I just read a superb 100 page book called “The Drinker’s Guide to Driving” by Tom Hudson who is a very capable Florida DUI attorney. Laugh all you want, but if you drive, you don’t know how badly you may need the information in this book, even if you never drink at all. Unlike everything you have been told, did you know that you are less likely to have an accident after a couple of drinks than before? Look up the “Grand Rapids Dip” study. This book is a real public service, but if you are driving ‘plastered’, it may not help, and I hope the cops do get you off the road. The author was charged with DUI after blowing 0.121 (and he knows how to dramatically minimize the reading). It may be out of print, but you can get the Kindle version for under $5 at Amazon and an eBook for under $6 at Barnes & Noble online. Do it before the Christmas party.

[Suicide] We lost another here in Big Pine. A young kid with a beautiful soul who grew up on the mean streets of Big Pine. Only 21 years old, he took his life this past Monday here on Big Pine. There will be a celebration of life for him tomorrow (Friday 14 Dec) 6:30 pm at the Big Pine Community Park basketball court.
[Two Prices] On my last trip to the mainland I made some purchase in big chain stores. Three out of three non-grocery purchases were rung up significantly higher than the price displayed. Walmart refused to adjust the price, but Tractor Supply did. I cancelled the sale at Walmart. Pay attention or pay more.



[Richard Nicholson aka Wolf Man] I just came across a post on the death of Richard Nicholson aka Wolf Man, who I believe is my brother. We have not heard from him for a couple of years. I have attached a picture of him. If this is the person you are referring to, please contact me with any information you have. You can call me at 702-444-0356. Thank you. The date was 1/5/18.

President Trump has canceled the White House holiday party for the media, making the decades-old tradition a victim of his increasingly contentious relationship with major news organizations. Journalists who attended in the past, were treated to a catered buffet of lamb chops, crab claws and elaborate desserts, and got to roam the decorated mansion with a spouse or other family member, a friend or a colleague, adding to the invitation’s allure. Video



[United Way of the Florida Keys] On behalf of working families in the Keys whom we serve through your generous partnership, best wishes for a wonderful holiday season.  Live United, Your friends at United Way of the Florida Keys

What Gender is computer – an analysis. Video
Tourists in space? Good God they’re going to screw up space just like Miami and Key West with vendors and bars. Remember The Martian Chronicles? Gad, that was the most plastic movie depicting today. Ugh!
[Wrong Date] Deer Ed, Thanks for the early CT on Tuesday, but Tuesday’s date is Dec 11 not the 10th! (Ed: Oops! It’s that time continuum thing. I just changed it to make things in harmony with the universe.)


[Cohen] When someone says they’ll take a bullet for you remember that offer only lasts until the bullet comes.

[Burger Discrimination] McRibs is here, as the advertising on national TV claimed, now for a limited time get your favorite McRib sandwich at your local McDonald’s but not at Key West or Marathon McDonalds because corporate decided to discriminate against those two franchises and not send the favorite, juicy, delicious sandwiches to our stores. I was so looking forward to sinking my teeth into one, but my dreams were smashed by corporate policy. What’s the matter, aren’t we good enough to get McRibs? Perhaps a McDonald’s boycott is in order. Will this affect tourism? will the tourists stay away once they hear that they can’t get McRibs in Key West or Marathon? Call corporate McDonalds and complain of the discrimination.




[‘Tis The Season] A small act of kindness can change a life.  Be Kind.  Not everyone is as well off as you.

[“Dog poop”] I second that sentiment on the dog poop.  In the last 2 months there has been lots of dog poop on Pirates Road, on both sides.  Mostly from the start of the corner of Legrand and Pirates Rd, half way down.  These are lazy disrespectful people. Night crawlers.  Do they not know there is a fine for being an irresponsible pet owner?
[Friday Joke] John dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked, “Shawn, do you remember that good looking widow on the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?”
“Yes, I do.” said Shawn.
“Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?”
“Well, um, yes.” Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, “I have to admit that I did.”
“And did you happen to give her my name and address instead of telling her your name?”
Shawn’s face turned beet red and he said, “Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy I’m afraid I did.  Why do you ask?”
“She just died and left me her estate, historic farm and a million pounds -everything.”
[“WordPress new software surprise”] I thank Susan too!   She saved us all, Thank you Susan!
WordPress 5.0 for Dummies Class. To whoever posted about this Tuesday. Would you be interested in teaching a 1-2 hour class for Ed & me? Ed has my email address. Thanks.
The US taxpayer pays about $30/year for NASA. You pay about $130/year for Netflix.





Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. A Blessed and very Merry Christmas to you & yours from The “NUT”down town Pine Key

[Friday Joke] My wife says I have only two faults. I don’t listen and some other crap she was rattling on about.




Suzann D’Antonio in Key West.

[“Reset your circadian clock”] Ask your doctor when to dose. The effectiveness of low-dose aspirin therapy, certain statins, and even chemotherapy can be greatly affected by when you take the medicines.
Marathon Community Theater presents “Tis the Season” December 15.Video


[Big Pine Community Park Basketball Court] You know, the one that’s still not repaired, however, we do have a beautiful observation deck for the tourists that was built instead of the basketball courts being repaired. Don’t really want to make this political, but this just goes to show you the bubba politics of having a county commissioner that lives out of our district and has no clue or care for the turmoil we have here with recorded numbers of suicides. I could go on, but I won’t.

[Bad Dog] The owner of a Canary mastiff dog that attacked and disfigured a Miami Herald reporter is due in court next week after being cited for violating county animal ordinances. Link



[Hanged on December 1830 in Key West] At 10 o’clock a.m. Nonnan Sherwood was taken from the ‘jail to the gallows erected near the road out from the courthouse to the West and, in pursuance of the sentence of the law was hung by the neck until he was dead. He said nothing at the gallows and died stubbornly and did not even change color.

The hooker said, “I know he was hung, but how did he die?”

[Keys Cost Too Much] My wife and I frequented a local boozery and were shocked at the prices for drinks and food. Why are the Keys businesses killing themselves by driving away tourists with such high prices? Making a living is one thing, but pirating is another. Never again will we visit the Keys
[Full Moon Kayak Excursion] Paddle with us Wednesday, December 19th from 4 – 6 pm, for a fun, easy going evening paddle along the mangrove shoreline of No Name Key.  Watch the sun set in the west as the full moon rises in the east. Sponsored by Big Pine Kayak Excursions, proceeds benefit local wildlife through the Florida Keys Wildlife Society, the official friends group for the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges. The $25 donation includes kayak, gear and experienced guide. Please call Captain Bill 305-872-7474 for reservations.  Plan to bring a flashlight, drinking water, and arrive ½ hour before launch time. If you are interested in becoming a volunteer, please call Nancy 305-731-6362.
[Soldier Ride] On January 12, The Military Affairs Committee of Key West will again sponsor Soldier Ride 2019 as part of the Wounded Warrior Project.  I have attached a flyer of the event and all needed details.

One of our goals is to be sure the community is aware of this event and invite everyone to line the Ride Route, wave signs and flags and show support for the Warriors as they ride past.  This is a great self confidence builder for these brave men and women who have given so much for us and our country.  For many, this is the first event in which they have participated since being in the hospital.  Many will return to their hospitals after the ride for continued treatment and therapy. Soldier Ride Flyer 2019 (2)

In Islamorada, former President George Herbert Walker Bush will always be the First Angler.

Days before being sworn into office as president in January 1989, the president-elect flew into the Marathon airport and headed to Islamorada to squeeze in two days on the water.

“I’m one of the classic fishing conservationists,” Bush told gathered reporters. “We’re going to prove that over the next eight years by going fishing, demonstrating a keen personal interest in going after the wily bonefish or the elusive tarpon or the redfish or the snook.” Link

[Parents] You spend years wishing your parents would get off your back, only to realize they’re the only ones who ever really had your back.


[Not Fair] Chicks can wear bikinis and next to nothing in our bars and beaches, but us guys can’t look at them any more without being sued, so I demand we wear kilts and wear them as they do in Scotland (silk ones are very comfortable).

[Florida Health Department] An office in a bathroom? Sewage in a kitchen? Roaches in flour? Bad news for restaurants. Video



United Way of the Florida Keys is seeking volunteers to assist with a free tax preparation program for households with limited incomes in Monroe County. Volunteers are needed to work as IRS-certified tax prep assistants or greeters. Bilingual volunteers are especially needed as tax prep assistants, greeters or translators. Link

[?] With the movie The Purge being so popular, why don’t we have it doing lawyers and politicos?