2018 December

Tuesday, December 10, 2018

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.



[Coconuts Money Tree] Somewhere, under all of those decorations is a Christmas tree. Coconuts shares a BIG Christmas tree with the Island every year. We have a Christmas tradition at the “NUT”. It all starts with a tree brought from the M.A.R.C. House, a charity we have supported from the beginning. For the last 35 years our customers & tourist pin money on the tree. The money is collected every night (we are a bar, you know). There is a note on the tree explaining what Coconuts does with the funds. After the first of the year Coconuts matches what was donated and it’s given to our local food bank. This is a win/win for everyone: The M.A.R.C. house gets a nice donation, the food bank gets a nice donation, Coconuts customers get to be part of helping 2 very worthwhile charities and Coconuts gets to feel the love. Most importantly, the Spirit of Christmas is carried on for another year. Win/Win! Have a very Merry & Blessed Christmas from the “NUT”.
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”  ~Charles Dickens

[“Web design software“](Ed: I want to thank Susan for telling me about the simple workaround for the new software that Word Press sprung on me. I was frantic Friday trying to figure out how to work the new Gutenberg software editor. Nothing was right. When I got her email with the work-around I was so relieved. Now I can take my time learning the Gutenberg Editor step by step instead of displaying a messed-up site right off the bat and getting an ulcer over it.)


[Half the Cost Half the Efficiency] The rubbish removal guy has to stop his truck, walk to the back, pick up my debris, dump it into the truck, put down the cans and walk back to the front of the truck to drive to the next stop. What happened to the Assistant Helper who rode on the back? Two men are a lot more efficient than one!

Are millennials being brainwashed and programmed like Orwell wrote?
[1977 Andy Kaufman] “Elvis” imitations. You must view till his last, “Thank you veddy much.”  It’s a riot! Video




[Harley Davidson Closing Plant Due to Declining Sales] Apparently the baby-boomers all have motorcycles. Generation X is only buying a few, and the next generation isn’t buying any at all. In another generation no one alive will have remembered the excitement of watching Marlin Brando in the Wild One. Brando set the bar for cool!

The male to female ratio in Monroe county government is 52 to 17. Women are almost half our County population, and we certainly have our fair share of competent, capable, and qualified women – so what’s going on? Why is the disparity between men vs. women so far off (only now does the BOCC have more women than men)?

Monroe County Commission:  2 men & 3 women
M.C. Planning Commission:   4 men & 1 woman
KW City Commission: 5 men & 2 women
KW Planning Board:  7 men & 0 women
City of Marathon Commission:  5 men & 0 women
Marathon Planning Board:  3 men & 3 women
Village of Islamorada:  3 men & 2 women
MC School Board:  4 men & 1 woman
MC Mosquito Board:  4 men & 1 woman
FKAA:  3 men & 2 women
Keys Energy:  4 men & 1 woman
Fl Keys Elec Co-Op:  8 men & 1 woman
James Brown — It’s a Man’s World

[“Reset your circadian clock”] Get your flu shot in the morning. A 2016 study found that the immune system created four times the antibodies to a flu shot when it was given in the morning.


[Spaghetti Squash Medley] This new main dish has roasted spaghetti squash, feta cheese, tomatoes, black olives, garlic and fresh basil. Recipes > Main Dishes

[“Web design software”] The new Gutenberg editor in WordPress is a bear to learn, but the results are great, allowing more flexibility in design and you’re able to use more rich media content. Link



[Jackfruit] See how you can use this tropical fruit instead of meat during your next barbecue cookout. The jackfruit is a large tropical fruit that can be used to substitute meat due its texture and bland flavor. Link

[Civvies] What would it be like if all police and military were in civilian clothes and civilian vehicles? I bet crime would go down a lot because no one would know who was who!
This year’s official theme for the White House decorations is American Treasures, and decorations include hundreds of trees and ornaments of all sizes to celebrate America’s cities, states, and citizens. Video



[Holiday Gifts] Check out Coconuts line of apparel & merchandise. Video

[“New web design software”] WordPress 5.0.  Ed, I feel your pain. I just started using WordPress in early November and just as I got comfortable, I logged in today and there’s not only an update for WP, but it’s a major one using blocks; and such a learning curve! Go to Plug-ins and look for the Classic Editor, Click “Install Now” and then click “Activate”. Your look and feel will be back to WP4.9.

Holler when you start using WP 5.0. I read up on it a little, but like any upgrade you really don’t want to use it until alll the bugs get worked out. When you upgrade your plugins after the move to WP5.0 only do a couple at a time then when you have issues you can narrow it down to what plug in not to use. Good luck.  ~Susan Tackett



[Pearl Harbor Day] Last Friday I didn’t hear any one mention Pearl Harbor Day. That was the first time I can remember that I didn’t hear anything about it. That Day was a big deal when I grew up. Link

[“No local representation”] It was reported that our new commissioner lives in the gerrymandered District 2 (ie; the Lower Key). But it has been noted that she has a 1.4 million dollar home that is not in District 2 but somewhere else in the City of Marathon. So what gives? Where’s her actual home that she has filed her Homestead exemption with? registered with the Monroe County Property Appraisers? and where does she actually permanently live with her family? Marathon has perpetually been controlling District 2 with George Nugent for over 20 years. Now we got the former mayor Michelle demonstrating the same contempt for the residents of the Lower Keys. Michelle, I challenge you to come clean, tell the truth. Do you actually live in some sleazy house in the gerrymandered part of Marathon or the 1.4 million dollar home?
[“Preserving Key deer skull”] Try a can of clear coat for art projects.



[Getting High Getting Easier] In serious pain? Find relief with a Nevada medical marijuana card. Nevada provides reciprocity to out-of-state cannabis patients. This means that Nevada marijuana dispensaries will accept out-of-state medical marijuana patients. If Florida requires a state-issued ID, then you’ll need to bring this ID with you to Nevada.  Link

[#Men Too] Why don’t we see men having sexual harassment claims? To work in some offices with woman walking around like Playboy Bunnies, sticking out all over the place, cleavage popping out, skirts and suits with half of everything showing, bumping and bouncing to pass us in the tight hallways, to tantalize us and suck up to the rich bosses, is the same as us drooling and praying for a quickie. Enough of this one-sided money grabbing BS! I’m going to sue Sue!

[Dog Poop] Little Torch- Jolly Roger. We spent millions of dollars to sewer the Keys to improve water quality, only to have dog walkers leave shit any where they feel like it. You know who you are. You have done this for years, same people, same dogs. I am sick of your inability to grasp the concept that your neighbors don’t want your dog shit on their property. Figure it out, take a bag and pick it up. You are the problem!

[“Wiper blades”] After trying many, I’ve settled on Bosch brand wiper blades.  They wipe cleaner, last longer and don’t squeak after two weeks.  I live upstate now but only replace my Bosch blades maybe every 8 months or so. Bosch works for me. Rainex and others brands don’t last (for me). Hope this is a help.
[France Protests Gas Tax] Prime Minister Edouard Philippe has announced that 89,000 police officers will be on duty across France and armored vehicles will be deployed in the capital. Popular tourists destinations like the Eiffel Tower, the Grand Palais complex and the Louvre and Orsay museums will also be closed in Paris. Link



It’s winter here on Big Pine Key and these gals are doing a little ice fishing at the Blue Hole. The wind is blowing and the temperature has taken a dive. Hey kids, a picture is worth a 1,000 words. I’m talking chilly! Time to go and put another log on the fire.  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, downtown Pine Key

[Gas Patrol] Gas is 2.35 in Marathon and 2.84 in Big Pine south. As much as I don’t like Marathon, I’ll make the trip north to get gas and groceries rather than give my cash to these gas thieves.
[Lionfish Plague] Lionfish is an invasive species. It competes for food and space with overfished native populations. Scientists fear lionfish will kill off helpful locals such as algae-eating parrotfish, allowing seaweed to overtake coral reefs already stressed by rising water temperatures and bleaching. Lionfish kill off other small cleaner-fish, too, which increases the risk of infection and disease among sport fish and cash fishery populations.

In U.S. waters, lionfish stocks continue to grow and increase in range. Lionfish have no known predators here and reproduce all year long; a mature female lionfish releases as many as 30,000 eggs every four days or roughly two million eggs a year, which are then widely dispersed by ocean currents.

[Boating Skills and Seamanship Course] The US Coast Guard Auxiliary, Flotilla 13-03, Big Pine Key, is offering a Boating Skills and Seamanship course January 7 thru January 24, 2019.  It is a three-week program Mon-Wed, Mon-Thu, Tue-Thu from 7:00 to 9:30 P.M. It will be held at the Big Pine Key United Methodist Church (Fellowship Hall), 280 Key Deer Blvd, Big Pine Key.

The cost of the program is $55 per person (materials included) or $80 for two people with shared materials.

Topics include: Which Boat is for You, Required Boat Equipment, Operator Responsibilities, Rules of the Road, Handling Your Boat, Highway Signs, Introduction to Navigation, Navigation Exercise, A Look at the Coast Guard Auxiliary, Trailering, Boating Safety, Florida Law, Hands on Knot Tying, and a guest speaker from the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary. Link

[“New web design software”] deer Ed, Uninstall the new version of WordPress and reinstall the old version and turn off the Auto Update link. The learning curve is a monster on the new version!



When Rudolph is late for work he jumps over the highway. Video

[“New web design software”] While reading about web design a was surprised that a web designer used to have 3 seconds to grab the viewer’s attention before they clicked away. Today the ‘grab’ time is up to 8 seconds.




I have not seen any hot Jersey girls down here yet.  Have they decided not to migrate this year? Has someone thinned the herd?

[Find the Air Marshals] We really don’t want people to be able to identify Air Marshals on our airplanes. But if you absolutely must know, here’s an extremely easy way to identify the Air Marshal: Rush the cockpit, and start banging on the cockpit door. Go ahead. You won’t hurt it. It’s impenetrable. Now, turn around and face the back of the airplane. The person who is just about to shoot you with a very powerful semi-automatic pistol is the Air Marshal.



Make sure it’s connected before you start talking.

Did you hear about the man who died from an overdose of Viagra? They say his wife took it very hard
[Bad Lettuce] Don’t eat romaine lettuce as another E. coli outbreak hits 11 states. Video




[Ghost Town] Does anyone know when the Key Deer Refuge Center will be opening?

With a trade deficit over $500 billion running in their favor, we need to create incentives for our trading partners to renegotiate our current relationships. That’s because nations. like people, rarely give up economic benefits we’ve grown used to having simply because doing so would be fair. We all operate in our self-interest. Given this current trade imbalance, our trading partners have more to lose from reduced trade than we do. Using the potential of fairer and more balanced, but still lucrative, trade relationships as the carrot and economically punitive tariffs as the stick isn’t a magic wand. This could be a very effective approach in the hands of a skilled negotiator willing to do what it takes to convince our trading partners that we are serious – but open to negotiation.

A 33 pound gopher tortoise admitted to the Clinic for the Rehabilitation of Wildlife in Sanibel is likely the largest on state record. Video

When will the junta in the Keys pass the laws to make the Keys a religious retreat? It seems to be sooner than expected.