2019 December

Friday, December 20, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.


[R.I.P] Don Kincaid has joined Mel and Deo Fisher. Yep, another of Key West’s adventurers passed away this week – a National Geography photographer, treasure hunter and Key Wester, Don was one of the original Atocha guys. For those who have never visited the museum, you’ve seen his photos of one the world’s most incredible finds and greatest adventures. R.I.P. my friend. I also want to extend my condolences to the Fisher’s, Andy, Greg, Curtis, John, Jim, Vinnie, Sid & KT, Tommy and the many others Don’s life enriched.

[Dating] This poor guy on Craigslist just has no luck with women. I don’t know why? Duh!
“You were the tall brunette with near perfect body that farted in the bread section last night. I was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked “Was that you?” You quickly replied “No it wasn’t me!” You almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stench grew you continued to deny your flatulence, but it was evident. I tried to get rid of the stench by waving 2 loafs of Cuban bread. You proceeded to storm off in an angry manner. You are beautiful and even if you are a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I’d love to meet up.” Link




[Ditto] When you just can’t be bothered to put in the effort.

[Crooks] I didn’t think it possible but the Keys hit a trifecta this week with the firing of a bad-mouthed cop, a possibly corrupt assistant State Attorney and now … tadaaaaaaa! … Ralph Lucignano, owner of  Marathon Deli and Liquor, has to pay for a murder-for-hire many believe he orchestrated. And not only does Ralphie pay, but the intended victim, Bruce Schmidt, gets paid.
Bye-bye Ralphie, take your cheap meat and overpriced liquors and leave, your time in the Keys is over. Maybe “the family” has a spot for you in Jersey. Dennis Zecca take notice. Link
[Friday Joke] A wife was annoyed that her husband was not cutting the grass and thought she would teach him a lesson.  When her husband got home he saw her snipping the grass with a pair of scissors.  He said, “What are you doing?”  She said, “Well, if you won’t cut the grass, I guess I’ll have to.”  He walked into the house and came back out and handed her a toothbrush and said, “When you’re done with the grass you might as well sweep the driveway.”  That’s when the fight started.


[New Dive Club] Looe Key Dive Center now has a dive club called “The Florida Keys Dive Tribe” Business Directory > Clubs/Organizations

[What’s Important] A doctor asks his patients what matters most to them. None said they wished they’d watched more tv. None said they should’ve spent more time on Facebook. None said they enjoyed fighting with others. None enjoyed the hospital.
[Know-It-All] It’s funny, when I was younger, I thought I knew it all. And as I got older, I realized, I don’t know anything.  But it’s  still infinitely more than I knew when I thought I knew everything.
Toxic encephalopathy is a neurologic disorder caused by exposure to neurotoxic organic solvents such as toluene, following exposure to heavy metals such as manganese, as a side effect of melarsoproltreatment for African trypanosomiasis, or exposure to extreme concentrations of any natural toxin such as cyanotoxins found in shellfish or freshwater cyanobacteria crusts. This is  dangerous and destroys brain cells. Link

Amazon is hiring Sun Country to fly shipments under its Amazon Air business. Minnesota airline will add 10 planes, 70 pilots under 6-year cargo service deal. Link





This bald eagle landed on our icy Michigan pond’s shore and flew off with my neighbor’s dog’s stuffed animal toy. Merry Christmas from  Mother Nature.

[Congress approves sweeping military housing overhaul] The reforms, included in the yearly National Defense Authorization Act, aim to protect some 200,000 military families living on U.S. bases from health hazards including mold, lead, asbestos and pest infestations. The problems have been detailed by Reuters since last year in a series of investigations, Ambushed at Home. Link

Australia recorded its hottest day ever on Tuesday, as the average temperature across the country peaked at 106 degrees Fahrenheit — an increase from the previous record. Link


[Recreational Blue Crab Trap Registration Required] Starting Jan. 1, 2020, recreational harvesters age 16 and older who fish with blue crab traps will need to complete an online, no-cost recreational blue crab trap registration before placing their traps in the water. A similar requirement has been in effect for recreational stone crab traps since Oct. 15. This no-cost registration will allow the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) to collect needed important information about this recreational fishery for future stock assessments and management decisions. Link

Chuck Berry, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band—Johnny B Good



[Crooks] Centuries-long global home invasion spree finally ends!

[Separation of Church and State] Centerville, Iowa. A Nativity scene removed from a county courthouse lawn in southern Iowa won’t be returning. The scene was erected Nov. 18 outside the Appanoose County Courthouse in Centerville, but some residents complained that a religious display shouldn’t be placed on government property. It was moved away Dec. 9. Other residents soon called for its return. The county owns the building and the land underneath; the city owns the lawn. The Daily Iowegian reports that City Administrator Jason Fraser said at Monday’s council meeting that the Nativity scene location was just an agenda discussion item, so the council couldn’t vote on the issue. Link




Bushfires are raging outside every major city in Australia. They’re only going to get worse! Video

[Weather] What dreary weather these last few days. I feel bad for the charter boat guys.


[Conch Republic Navy] Where can I get on of these decals? I’ve been a lifelong member of the Conch Republic Navy since 1974 when my crappy boat was moored off the end of Simonton St.  Everyone called it the “Simonton Street Yacht Club”. Back then Simonton St was just dirt and next to Brito’s Boat Yard who used the water as a dump. There was so much cable from shrimp boat’s rigging under water that all you needed to moor a boat was that you had to dive and fasten a turnbuckle to the cables. Your boat wasn’t going anywhere. When a shrimp boar was re-rigged, Brito would throw the old cables in the water to get rid of them. Cables and boat parts covered the seafloor in that area. Now people worry about plastic straws.

The Coconut Telegraph is important for many reasons, and you are greatly appreciated. And it’s a wonderful forum for all the folks not participating on Facebook.
[Recover] Just because you fall on your ass doesn’t mean you have to stay there.
[“Tackleberry?”] C’mon Ed, have you forgotten one of the best movies ever made – Tackleberry, the overzealous cop in Police Academy series. Video



[“Don’t like the Keys”] A couple of different people have recently expressed their waning desire and disdain for the Keys, even considering going to Texas to live or vacation. Possibly Deer Ed could start a list. Once we have a busfull’s worth, I will pay to dump them in Texas — if they will agree to not return!

[Energy, The Invisible Link] Only time will tell, but this lecture could go down as Dr. R.E. Tent’s Magnum Opus. He’s been waiting 40 years to share some of this material, and it’s dedicated to all the doctors, scientists, and minds who lost their lives uncovering these secrets of the universe. From Radionics to the Hieronymus Machine to Tesla to Scalar Energy and Field Broadcasting, Dr. Tent shows how Energy is the one true link which ties us all together. Please like, comment, and share this so more people learn the truth. Video Sales Pitch