2023 December

Friday, December 22, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[Sea Level Rise] Stillwright Point residents approved to get their road raised by Monroe County. Now they’ll get to leave their kayak by the side door to paddle to their boat to get to their vehicle.  Raise the houses higher or get swamped by the runoff from the higher road next to you.
[Friday Joke] A boy asked a girl in the library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you”? The girl answered with a loud angry voice; “I don’t want to spend the night with you! All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed. After minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and said to him, “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?” The guy responded with a loud voice, $300 for one night! That’s too much.” All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, “I study law and I know how to make someone guilty.”
[“Awesome”] Apparently, the Coconut Telegraph has a larger impact than many assumed. It has been reported by the authorities that the sickening use of “awesome” by the sheep has dropped off significantly since Tuesdays post. A positive change, really awesome!

[Illegals] 10 to 12,000 migrants crossing US/Mexico border in one day? That’s not going to happen in Florida with FWC, Coast Guard, and sheriffs. God bless Florida.

Apple may owe you some cash after settling a false advertising lawsuit. Fill out this form before March 1, 2024 to claim your potential payout. Link

Iceland volcano erupts. Video

When Windows 10 support runs out, you have 5 options but only 2 are worth considering. In less than two years, Microsoft will draw the final curtain on Windows 10 after a successful 10-year run. (Why people don’t update to the free Windows 11 is still a mystery.) Link
Another Boeing Osprey crashed last month. That has to be the most dangerous aircraft out there. There have been more than 40 accidents involving Ospreys around the world since the aircraft entered into service in 2007, resulting in more than 30 deaths. Link
One of the toniest areas of Key West is Key Haven, mm5. A local realtor provided me with the 15 houses for sale including street, sq ft, as well as age.  9 of the 15 homes were built 1980 or older, are on a concrete slab (not elevated), and the prices start at 1.3 million. Have people gone bat shit?

[Computer Club Meeting] Got a question about cellphones or an app or the App Store? Saturday, Dec. 23, 10:30am at the new Community Center cross from Winn Dixie and to the left of UPS store.

[Friday Joke] BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CHICKENS: The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

This Bromeliad is only about 7-8 inches wide, but very colorful and a joy to behold.

[Inside the Darién Gap] Mass migration plan. Video
[Friday Joke] A man walked into a closed door and hit his ‘knob’ with the doorknob. That happened in Indonesia, in Bangcock.
Which cruise ships will be scrapped or taken out of service? Most modern cruise ships spend 40 years or more sailing the world’s seas. Link

How long should I cook a 3 minute egg?

[Sex Traffickers] The names of 150 recruiters, associates and “affiliates” of sex traffickers Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell will be made public after the first of the year, a federal judge has ruled. The names of three people will remain sealed. The ruling caps a five-year legal battle by the Miami Herald to obtain the names. Link

Have a happy day!

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[Freaky Fact] Every President up for re-election has seen the stock market advance in double digits since WWII
[“Old people rotting away smell”] It’s important to promote good hygiene for everyone, regardless of age. Regular showers are a basic part of personal cleanliness. However, it’s not fair to generalize and stigmatize older individuals. Encouraging good hygiene habits for everyone is a more inclusive approach
[Frog With Fangs] This tiny ‘leaf-nester’ is the smallest known fanged frog. Limnonectes phyllofolia is about the size of a quarter. Link
[Friday Joke] Ed and Carolyn met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Carolyn to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Carolyn was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Carolyn to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, “I guess you can tell I’m very much in love with you. I’d like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that’s going to be a problem for us, you’d better say so now!”
Carolyn took a deep breath and responded, “Ed that certainly won’t be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we’re being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I’ve been a hooker.”
“That’s alright.” Ed said, “I bet it’s because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”
[Friday Joke] I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, “Are you having it catered?” (That, my friend, is the definition of old!)
[Christmas Cards] The thing I hate about Christmas is writing Christmas cards. I never know what to say so I no longer send cards.
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The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/22/23 at 7:55 am.