2023 December

Tuesday, December 19, 2023

The un-social media since 2002 with 60,000 followers.
Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage pick-up days,
Tuesdays and Fridays.

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[Body Odor] Old people should never leave the house without showering first. Old people’s cells are rotting and it smells. A simple shower washes away all that. You’re still rotting, but at least you’re not offending others as you pass them by.
Mangrove Mamas is back and with the latest of new local owners.  I talked to the owners and they are looking to bring back its former glory.  They’re open seven days a week for lunch and dinner. They’ve got a new menu, fantastic kitchen with great food and quick service.  The place has been cleaned up immensely & updated. They’ve got merchandise and whole cakes, cheesecakes and merchandise if you need anything for Christmas. If you’re on Facebook they post the weekly music and anything else going on so like & follow them.
[Deer Crossing] The Hillyard Family’s Franklin Street decorations are really great but most likely have contributed to the 45% increase in Car vs. Deer collisions in Effing, SC this year due to inadequate signage.
[Awesome] The word awesome needs to go, now. Everything slightly or gigantically better, is awesome. Sit in a diner, get a burger, ask person on your right to pass the salt, person says, “Awesome”.  Then you ask the person on your left, “How is today going?”  they say, “Awesome.” So you say, “Good, what happened?” “Well, the FDA just approved my 22 years of study and we now have finally found the cure for cancer. That’s awesome    Same recognition, but topics are 10 million miles apart. I think it would be effing awesome if we could get away from the sheep and find adjectives with some amount of degree to them. Meanwhile, I will prepare for the latest expression, “It is what it is.”
Senior cardinal convicted of embezzlement in Vatican corruption trial. If he was a pedophile the Church would just have transferred, but don’t take their money! Link
[Monroe County Health Department] Two restaurants tie with 22 violations! Only one restaurant in Monroe County passed its semi-annual inspection with no violations over the past 15 days — Pizza Hut on North Roosevelt Boulevard. Link
[Christmas Tree Island] The trial to determine ownership of Wisteria Island in Key West Harbor is scheduled to start Jan. 16 at the federal courthouse in Key West. Judge Jose Martinez has also scheduled a “calendar call” regarding the case in Miami on Jan. 11. This has been going on since I was a little boy.
[How The Mighty Have Fallen] Rudy Giuliani has just been ordered to pay $148 million to the 2 women he defamed in his election fraud fraud. After he scrapes that up he will be penniless and in need of a free place to live. Video

[Man o’ war]They’re not jellyfish, but they sure do sting. Man o’ war are all over South Florida beaches. Link
[Druggies] Can we clean up the Keys a little?  It’ll take a while but maybe send the addicts and alcoholics to substance abuse treatment centers, facilities that provide addiction treatment, counseling, and rehabilitation services. Does Big Pine have any?
Support Groups: Local chapters of organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) that offer peer support for individuals struggling with addiction.
Mental Health Services: Clinics or therapists specializing in mental health and addiction treatment. Guidance Clinic in Marathon.
Community Health Clinics: Medical facilities that offer healthcare services, including addiction-related treatment and counseling.
Charitable organizations that focus on addiction recovery, providing various support programs. The churches.
Job Training Centers: Institutions that offer vocational training and employment assistance to help addicts gain job skills. Does Big Pine have any job training centers?
[Crook] Vatican Cardinal sentenced to 5½ years in prison after being convicted of embezzlement. What in the world did he steal for? He lives a life of luxury, lives in a palace, has a chauffeur, and doesn’t work. Everything he could ever want; the Church provides for free. Did he need money for new Nikes? Link

[Woman’s Handbags] These very expensive bags are purchased by woman to impress other woman. I’ve never met a man who noticed a woman’s handbag.

[Hypocrite] Is alleged three-way rapist demanding $2m payout to resign? Moms for Liberty co-founder Bridget Ziegler is in the Jesus business. Moms for Liberty couple is staunchly anti-gay even though Bridget was in a bisexual relationship via a three-way sexual encounter with her husband and the unnamed woman. Link

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice.
He left it at home, now he’s texting his wife.
Every guy is going to town

[Space Lasers] Amazon’s Project Kuiper successfully tests satellite space lasers. The technology could one day help provide high-speed broadband to ships at sea and campers in the remote wilderness. Link
I made Cloud Eggs for breakfast today.
Separate the eggs, putting the whites into a Clean bowl and the yolks into separate little dishes.
Whip the whites to stiff peaks. Season with a little salt and pepper. I folded in some grated Parmesan cheese.
Put whites into well-oiled dish(es). With a spoon make nest holes.  Bake at 400° for about 4 min.
Remove from oven and put yolks into the nests.
Return to oven and bake 3 or 4 more min, or until yolks are to your liking.
I used the air fryer, but the oven would work too. A round ramekin would hold a single egg, but I fit both into an oval one.
The hardest part of this recipe was taking a hot dish out of the oven. I had to take out the rack and slide the dish off
A box of baking soda is really cheap, less than $1. I’m watching “How It’s Made”. First, it’s mined in Colorado. Then sent to a huge factory where it undergoes many procedures before it goes into the little yellow box.
I ought to go and bake something. But first I need to learn how to make climbing walls and animatronic Velociraptors. I never know when I might need  that information too.
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Santa in the park has been rescheduled because of the recent storm.

Blood Drive this Thursday, December 21st by Bealls in the Big Pine Shopping Center from 12 to 5.  Donor gifts are a One Blood blanket and $20 eGift Card. All donors also receive a Free Wellness Checkup including blood pressure, pulse, temperature, iron count and cholesterol screening. To schedule an appointment visit and enter your zip code and the from and to dates.   As always, a huge thanks to those who donate blood.
[How To Learn Chess As An Adult] Like most people, late last year I watched the Queen’s Gambit. Like most people, I made a account assuming I’d become the new Beth Harmon. Unfortunately, more than literally almost everyone, I sucked at chess. At first, this was unsurprising: I only vaguely knew what the pieces did, and didn’t know more complicated rules like castling. But I’m a smart guy; if I just brushed up on the rules and played a few games I’d be beating Bobby Fischer in no time. Link
[Can you pee on the side of the road?] Can you drive on the side of the highway? What Florida law says about that. Link
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The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 12/19/23 at 7:16 am.