2017 January

Friday, January 20, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

[Rules Are for Snowbirds, Not Me] When I first heard the label “Piners” referencing Big Pine residents and how they act “weird” and “different from regular society folk,” it sounded so outlandish I said I’d have to see it to believe it. Well, I’ve seen these people in action many a time. The ignorance, pompous ways, all-for-me attitudes, do-you-know-how-long-I’ve-lived-here, rules don’t apply to me, “Go back to where you came from” comments, etc.

The latest example was in the Winn Dixie parking lot. Recently fire lanes were established and no parking labels were drawn on the new pavement alongside the building with the pet shop. There are still folks parking there, but only those with Monroe County plates. Once again, the Piner plays ignorance and self-entitlement. Really? What makes you so special? If you are looking for a close spot by the door, there are handicap spots available for you because you might be handicapped mentally being a Piner. Follow the rules like everyone else. That area is blind to cars coming around the corner and is a troublesome site for vehicles, bikes, and pedestrians. Too bad we can’t take a photo of the car and license plate and email them to the Sheriff. Or better yet, have it towed!

[Local Landscapers Get Left Out] It’s bad enough that the Mexicans from Homestead do most of the large hotels’ landscaping in Key West, now the prisoners from Big Pine are doing all the road landscaping. The local, licensed landscapers get the scraps. I hope this will change when the Road Prison closes.



“Flowers for Connie” by Jane Gilbert. Acrylic on canvas.

[Bad Girl] Alison Anne Pickford was arrested by the FBI for concealing a box cutter in a hollowed-out book that was inside carry-on luggage at Key West International Airport on Jan. 11.
[Rich Excluded] If you haven’t noticed, building and permitting laws and rules in Monroe County do not apply to the rich.  A very recent instance, the new Oceanside Marina and Resort in KW.  “Laws and regulations had to be twisted, bent, and even broken. As one critic of the project told us, “The true title for your article should be: Why Do We Even Bother Having Laws or a County Government.”

Modern government, generally, is all about self-enrichment for politicians who have now made it legal to take in huge amounts of money under the guise of “campaign contributions.” Prosecutions are rare. On the national scene, this problem is going to get much worse in the foreseeable future as ethics rules and laws are gutted by the politicians themselves. “Draining the Swamp,” (yah, right!) Link

[Siamese Editors] I found a picture of the two editors, Darryl and his brother Darryl. (Ed: There it is again, “two editors”. I wonder where that comes from? The longest untrue rumor so far was that we’re partners with the News-Barometer, now this. There’s nothing like small town rumors to get things wrong.)
I headed on my bicycle to the Martin Luther King Center in Key West Monday. Dr. King he was not perfect, but he was a great man, a courageous man, and he has been sorely missed. The man manning the front desk at MLKC was African-American, and there was a big gathering there for MLK Day. I told the man at the front desk that I hoped he had a good Martin Luther King Day, and if Dr. King had not come out against the Vietnam war, as a “rich white man’s war”, he might still be with us today.




Coconuts & ABATE Annual Chile Cook Off is Sunday, Jan, 29th!

Greetings monarch butterfly watchers and a Happy New Year to all! 2017 should be a big news year for monarchs and Monarch Watch and we’d like to kick things off with the following articles. Link



Coconuts advertises that they are the only pool room in the Keys. Did the Stick And Stein close in Key West? I preferred S&S because they had food and it was cleaner. Maybe Coconuts has food now and cleaned it up. I’m not sure, I don’t go in there because of the smoke.

[“Road Prison closing”] One reason the state wants to shut the road prison besides the structural issues is the cost to hook up to the sewer system. Move the road prison to a small section of the jail on Stock Island and bring in those guards and staff to continue the work they are doing.
[Pain Pills Stolen] I am feeling so sorry for Mrs. FTR suffering from pain and the loss of her medication that was stolen. Pain patients that require opiates are treated like “druggies” and criminals due to the DEA and the misinformation about opiates. People in pain do not get high, or “buzzed” from using their opiate medication. What they do get is a reduction of the pain and the ability to function better toward an attempt at a normal life. Without the medication, it is impossible to perform daily tasks or attempt to go about living a normal life when the pain is so terrible the person can not even get out of bed or sit quietly without unforgiving pain. Often treated with contempt by pharmacists who deny filling a valid prescription, pain patients must go from one pharmacy to another attempting to fill the prescription.

Doctors post a sign in their offices “We do not treat pain patients. We will not accept a police report if your prescription is stolen.” Why? Because the DEA, in a misguided attempt to stop abuse of this medication, has frightened doctors and pharmacists with the loss of license or arrest. Doctors in Monroe County will not treat us, forcing people, already compromised by pain, to go to the mainland to find a doctor (just getting in a car is painful). Are heart patients or diabetics treated this way? Never! If a person is hell bent on getting high they will find a way (like stealing from Mrs FTR) despite the DEA. Harming people that need medication is not the way to end drug abuse. I sincerely hope that Mrs. FTR’s doctor was able to give her medication, but I have my doubts as the DEA counts every prescription and every pill and the doctor may fear legal repercussions if her prescription request is early or more than the amount allowed. I have profound sympathy for Mrs FTR, she will suffer because the DEA spends our tax dollars foolishly.




[“Golden Shower”] Pee-gate. Donald Trump says he is a germaphobe, so one would have to assume that he was the “pee-or” not the “pee-ee.”

I am with the quilt group and am teaching on Saturday at the Senior Center. Do you have a large chalk board in the facility that I could use? or a dry erase board. I will draw samples for folks to see and then erase them. (Editor: Um, er, I don’t think so? I got a computer you can borrow, but no blackboard.)


Today’s the day!

[Comcast] Comcast just raised my bill by $26 because they could. Then they had the nerve to charge me $50 for the repairman to replace the defective box that I rent from them! I argued that it was their box that broke; and that I pay them (with their new price increase) $5.99 a month to use it.

I think it’s time to see what Sammy Sam the DirecTV man has to offer.

Amazon Prime is $100 a year and you get:
Prime Music: Over one million more songs and thousands of new playlists and stations have been added to your unlimited music streaming access.
Prime Photos: Unlimited photo storage you can share with up to five people through the newly added Prime Photos Family Vault.
Audible Channels: Unlimited listening to comedy, news, and original audio series through Audible.
Prime Reading: Unlimited reading of over a thousand books, current issue magazines, comics, and Kindle Singles on any device – including your phone, tablet, or Kindle.
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Free 2d day shipping.
Free eBook every month.
There are big seas & there are BIG SEAS. We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds. The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. Adjusts your sails my friends.  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, downtown Big Pine Key
[Bucktooth Rooster] Let me know when they get beer and I’ll stop back by. Thanks.
[Pigeon Key] Jason Koler talks about Pigeon Key. Video

[It’s Always Something Department] Non-native Onespot Rabbitfish removed from Florida waters. Like lionfish, rabbitfish are venomous with voracious appetites. Rabbitfish eat marine vegetation such as seaweeds, algae and seagrasses and could impact native fish habitat. They are native to the Asian Pacific region. It is probable that, like the lionfish, the Onespot Rabbitfish was introduced to the South Florida reef via an aquarium release. Link

[FTR on Eating Out] Bistro 31. We’ve read a lot about the new kid in town, the Bucktoothed Rooster, and it’s good, but let’s not forget about another really great place on BPK to enjoy great food, BISTRO 31.

Bistro 31 is rocking on and it sure looks like we locals are loyal to JR’s great cooking and the top notch servers at Bistro 31.  It has become home base for we Piners who eat out often.  It’s become as much of a social club as a restaurant. It’s good to see old friends and to make new friends at the Bistro.

There are reasons for the Bistro being so popular.  First and foremost, the food is always top notch.  JR puts together a great and differing array of specials every night.  Wednesday night he offered a meat and cheese and beef lasagna that was truly great.  Wednesday is Italian night.  They offer a Mexican night. Personally, I’m not a fan of Mexican food, but the fajitas are really special. You’ve got a choice of beef or chicken, or a combination.  The meat, onion, and peppers are brought to the table on a sizzling platter.  The portions are huge and delicious.  JR offers a different set of specials every night.  The prices are right, the portions are right, the whole shebang is right.  Bistro is the go-to stop.

And you can get a drink! They’ve got a full bar that really rocks.  See you there and do our Deer Ed a favor and tell the staff at the Bistro you read about them on the Coconut Telegraph.

[World Economic Forum, Davos, Switzerland] U.K. Chancellor Philip Hammond has acknowledged that Brexit uncertainty may cause firms to delay investment. Link
[Rich Tourists Only] The Island nation of Palau only wants rich tourists to visit. Sound familiar? Link
Stupidity is a more dangerous enemy of the good than malice. One may protest against evil; it can be exposed and, if need be, prevented by use of force. Evil always carries within itself the germ of its own subversion in that it leaves behind in human beings at least a sense of unease. Against stupidity we are defenseless. Neither protests nor the use of force accomplish anything here; reasons fall on deaf ears; facts that contradict one’s prejudgment simply need not be believed – in such moments the stupid person even becomes critical – and when facts are irrefutable they are just pushed aside as inconsequential, as incidental. In all this the stupid person, in contrast to the malicious one, is utterly self-satisfied and, being easily irritated, becomes dangerous by going on the attack. For that reason, greater caution is called for when dealing with a stupid person than with a malicious one. Never again will we try to persuade the stupid person with reasons, for it is senseless and dangerous.”  ~Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945
To all parents and grandparents. If we were interested in your children or your grandchildren, we would’ve asked you about them. When the kid breaks the land speed record or cures cancer we’re going to hear him anyway. Be happy they are not burdens to society. Tell me about a book you read or something else because we are not interested in your children or your grandchildren
[The Weight of Hate] A teacher told her students to get a bag and put a potato in the bag for each person they hate. They were first graders and were told to carry the potato bag with them every where they went for a week. At the end of the week even first graders could see that hate can be a very heavy load. If the shoe fits…wear it…. Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, down town Pine Key
Alec Baldwin brings Trump impression to NYC protest. And he referenced Russia, to boot! Video
[Death Penalty] Talk about following the money; this is a joke on us for sure. “The death penalty does not deter crime.” It sure as hell does for the criminal who would do it again! Link



Let’s bring back the handshake. Video

[Backup Alarms] Perhaps the Occupational Safety Hazard Association should be more concerned with guys climbing into ditches to their deaths then being up the butts of pros that operate heavy equipment every day, all day running over–no one, and causing all the noise pollution that is truly unnecessary, obnoxious & pointless. The number of people killed by heavy equipment in reverse divided by the amount of people annoyed by reverse alarms tells me that quality of life trumps stupid accidents. Get run over by a 12-ton piece of equipment and I seriously doubt that a faulty reverse alarm is the culprit. Link
[Change and Hope] wouldn’t it be something if the country changed for the better for everyone? It seems the new administration is replacing the old one with a like bunch of lobbyist and bureaucrats. Same cat, different color.
This is Rob DeGennaro, owner of The Bucktooth Rooster on Big Pine Key. We opened for breakfast 2 weeks ago, with a little different style breakfast menu, and wanted to share the cooking style that we have offered in our Bed and Breakfasts at Captiva Island Inn on Captiva Island, Harbour Cottage Inn at Southwest Harbor, Maine, and The Pilgrim’s Inn on Deer isle, Maine.

We also listen to our locals while they are dining and have recently filled their wishes with Biscuits and Homemade Sausage Gravy, Toasted Cornbread and Sausage Gravy, Grits, and Cheezy Grits! We soon will follow with Taylor’s Ham and Scrapple! All in all our ears are open and we are there to please our neighbors, so 6 days a week starting at 6:30 am We’re closed Tuesdays, that’s when we rest our family and staff. Give our breakfasts a try and please let us know your thoughts.  ~Respectfully, Rob

I’m confident my last words will be, “Are you f**king kidding me?”





[Press One] I was in an elevator when she got in. I was casually staring at her boobs when she said, “Could you press one for me please.”  So I did… and I don’t remember much afterwards, but I’m guessing it was the wrong one.

[Friday Joke] (no reflection on the Bucktooth Rooster)
Q: Why was the rooster so unhappy?
A: He only got laid once, and it was by his mother.
Don’t forget the flea market on Big Pine this weekend. If they don’t have it you don’t need it.


Forever? The cost of USPS Forever stamps to go up Sunday. First-class letters will go from 47 cents to 49 cents. Guess I’ll have to go get 71 2 cent stamps. Link

It is Friday, the moon stands in the zodiac sign Scorpio, waning (4th quarter). Here are some influencing powers of the day:
Element: water.
Apparatus: nervous system
Part of plant: leaf.
Quality of the day: water day.
Body zone: ureter, genitals.
Color: green, complementary color: purple, orange
[Helicopters] Down here in the Florida Keys, the Monroe County Commission voted yesterday to buy another Trauma Star medi-vac helicopter, instead of entertaining Lifenet’s plea, to hang onto it’s contract to provide helicopter evac to mainland hospitals. I told a friend this morning, what is important, I say, is locals get much cheaper, or free, medical evac to Miami area hospitals, when our hospitals are not capable of providing the needed level of care, and visitors pay the full tariff – we already have far too many tourists.
[Donald C. Barrett, P.A.] 305-735-4165. Solo practice firm handling all types of criminal defense cases, including felonies, misdemeanors, DUI and criminal traffic. We also handle some civil litigation with an emphasis on personal injury litigation. We have been practicing law for 18 years, with an emphasis on trials and litigation. Donald Barrett have nine years experience as prosecutor and is a former Chief Assistant State Attorney of Monroe County. Business Directory > Legal
[Rumor] The existing water line from Long Beach Rd. to Little Palm Island shows the absurdity and environmental consequences. I told everybody years ago and tried to tell the EPA that Little Palm dumps sewage and the corrosive laundry water in the ocean. Their treatment plant can’t handle so much water so they dump it in the water. Remember when the pelicans were “pancaking”. Paralyzed from the chemicals. Not very good stewards of the fragile ecology.
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