2016 January

Friday, January 22, 2016


Since 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays

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[Kudos Time]  The other day Mrs. FTR and I were in the early morning car line at Mickey D’s in Marathon.  There were several vehicles ahead of us.  Mrs. FTR opened her door, got out, and took off the jacket she was wearing.  While that was in process,  the line ahead inched forward about a car length.  The vehicle behind us quickly pulled out and around us and stopped in front us, taking our place in the line.  Being a disagreeable olde fart, I blew the horn.  The driver rolled down his window and exclaimed: “I thought you were leaving when she got out.”  I let it go, is was understandable.   After placing our order, we pulled up to the window to pay, the attendant told us that the driver that had pulled ahead of us had paid for our breakfast.

A huge tip of the FTR fedora to that man, he is a gentleman, and a Keys resident.  We will pay it forward.  Thanks again to the gentleman driving the grey F150 with a Stihl pole saw in the bed of the truck.

house burglar window[There’s a thief among us in the Avenues] During last Saturday night, a man walked through a closed gate to two vehicles parked on the property. One car was entered and $240 in bills were stolen from a wallet in a purse in the car. No credit cards were taken. The second vehicle was entered and the glove box rifled through. A worthless credit card was taken then dropped in the driveway. The passenger side door was left open. As the thief left through the  gate several bills were dropped and left behind.

On Monday, January 18 about 5 pm again a man entered through the gate leaving it open to allow the  dogs to run out. One dog was caught by a neighbor down the street while the other 2 remained barking in the yard. The second vehicle was returning home and noticed a man in the yard. As the vehicle got to the open gate the man ran out, grabbed his bike, and pedaled away while being chased.

Description of the man: Camouflage pants and  camouflage cap pulled down over his ears. He had red hair and red goatee, long thin legs, blue/gray bicycle missing front tire cover. Not afraid of large barking dogs.

[Snowbirds] When Deer Ed gutted the political section he could have taken away the other whiners too. BPK residents, put your big boy pants on and live with the tourists. Other people are starving and living with cancer and somehow getting along. In my city, when people ask for directions to the subway while they’re standing in it, or they want to know where the IHOP is for some fine dining, I deal with it. It’s not the end of the world.
mustard-seedsMustard seeds (top-left) may be ground (top-right) to make different kinds of mustard. The other four mustards pictured are a simple table mustard with turmeric coloring (center left), a Bavarian sweet mustard (center-right), a Dijon mustard (lower-left), and a coarse French mustard made mainly from black mustard seeds (lower-right).

Dijon mustard uses twice as many seeds as yellow mustard, 20% less water and two kinds of vinegar—white and cider.

Remember a few years back when Wikipedia was a joke because of so many errors? Not any more. Every other reference book like the Encyclopedia Britannica and Webster’s Dictionary have gone belly up because of Wikipedia.
traffic light3My car went through a red light. I wasn’t driving. My boyfriend was. But I’m the registered owner of the vehicle so they mailed me the ticket.

There have been two high-profile cases where the court ruled it is against FL law for the police to delegate ticket writing to a third party – in my case the red light camera company is in Arizona! If a cop had ticketed my boyfriend, I wouldn’t be stuck paying for it. Here’s what I wrote to them.

Recent court decisions in Florida have ruled that a for-profit third-party cannot write tickets nor can Florida law enforcement agencies delegate police power to such for-profit third-party non-governmental agencies. Precedents:
~In Broward County, Judge Terri-Ann Miller dismissed a red light camera case when she learned that the private company hired by the state to administer the program was issuing red light tickets and communicating directly with the clerk of court.
~Pinellas County Appellate Division. Circuit Judges Jack Day, Pamela Campbell and Peter Ramsberger wrote in their ruling that they agreed with the 4th DCA analysis of camera programs. “When ATS makes an initial determination of whether a violation occurred, that is an improper delegation of police powers,” the ruling states.
~”In Florida, only law enforcement officers and traffic enforcement officers have the legal authority to issue citations for traffic infractions, which means only law enforcement officers and traffic enforcement officers are entitled to determine who gets prosecuted for a red light violation.”   -Source: Hollywood v. Arem (Court of Appeal, State of Florida, 10/15/2014)

[“The great tree massacre”] Why cut all the trees in the WD parking lot? Looks like Miami now. Who approved that massacre?
barbary-pirate[Barbary States Harrassing American Shipping] President Adams asked the Pasha how the Barbary states could justify “making war upon nations who had done them no injury.” The response was nothing less than chilling. According to his holy book, the Qur’an, Abdrahaman explained, “All nations which had not acknowledged the Prophet were sinners, whom it was the right and duty of the faithful to plunder and enslave.” Christian sailors were, plain and simple, fair game.

Ambassador Thomas Jefferson tried to make sense of what he was hearing. He was familiar with the Muslim holy book. He had purchased a copy of the Qur’an during his days of reading law in Williamsburg twenty years before but found its values so foreign that he shelved the volume with books devoted to the mythology of the Greeks and Romans. This conversation left him even more perplexed. The man who had written that all people were “endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights” was horrified at Abdrahaman’s religious justification for greed and cruelty.

Abdrahaman believed the actions of his fellow Muslims fully justified. “Every mussulman,” he explained, “who was slain in this warfare was sure to go to paradise.” To Abdrahaman, this was not complicated. In his culture, the takers of ships, the enslavers of men, the Barbarians who extorted bribes for safe passage, were all justified by the teaching of the prophet Muhammad. “It was written in our Qur’an.”

European sailors were not the only slaves in the North African markets. There were women kidnapped from Russia and Syria to be bought and sold for harems or given as gifts to political leaders. There were other Africans, dark-skinned men and women from beyond the Sahara, transported across the desert by slave-trading caravans. Children as young as six, from Africa and Eastern Europe alike, were traded to work as serving boys or sexual slaves in bathhouses. Young men were forcibly converted to Islam and trained to guard the sultan. Punishments for slaves were gruesome. Some captives reported witnessing castration, impaling, and the throwing of the offender off the city walls onto a series of hooks. Any Christian who insulted Islam could be subjected to severe punishment, including being burned alive. If a Christian man was found to be engaging in a relationship with a Muslim woman, he could be beheaded and his lover drowned. Should a Jew raise a hand against a Muslim, the hand could be cut off. The most common punishment, however, whatever the faith or national origin of the offender, was a beating.

[“Legend of Threes”] This is because after the third death, the count resets, and the next death is counted as one, not four.
[R.I.P.] Robert Wade (Buzzy) Blackistone, May 22, 1943 – December 3, 2015

Buzzy was born in Washington, DC, and grew up in the Four Corners area of Silver Spring, Maryland.  He was a graduate of Northwood High School, and served in the United States Naval Reserve during the early ‘60s.  He was aboard the destroyer, USS Kennedy, being transferred to his ship, when the Kennedy intercepted the first of the Soviet freighters transporting missiles to Cuba during the blockade declared in reaction to the Cuban Missile Crises.  His letter home summed up the entire situation with the observation: “We were scared, but they were ‘scareder’.”

Buzzy held a number of jobs in the Washington area, working for NCR, C&P Telephone, the printing plant for Airplane Owners and Pilots’ Association (AOPA), and a number of other businesses, learning and observing as he went along.

buzzBuzzy decided to visit the Florida Key for “a ten day visit” about 30 years ago, and never looked back, working his way into the fabric of the unique society of the folks in the Keys.  He mentioned to his family that he brought the art of wall papering to that area of Florida, and was constantly involved in whatever work appealed to him. Many were jobs in construction. He was a jack of all trades.    He enjoyed the island life that included cut-offs, t-shirts and flip flops and never wore much else in his time here.  He spent time with his friends aboard “The Mistress”, time with his friends in Coconuts, and even worked there for a while, becoming part of the Coconuts Family.  He was a member of the Moose Club and spent time with friends there as well.

He passed at the age of 72 in December, after a brief illness.  He leaves behind his elder and younger sisters and his younger brother, numerous nieces and nephews and their families, and a ship-load of friends both in Florida and in Maryland.

On Sunday, January 24th at 12:30 pm, his friends may meet by the pool at the Old Wooden Bridge for a brief commemoration of his life near the waters he loved so well.  Bring a chair if you need one.  There will be a “Pot Luck” and Celebration of Life and good times at “Coconuts” on Big Pine Key, running from about 2:00 to 4:00 that afternoon.  Bring pictures to share.  For information, call 305-872-3795.

Donations, in lieu of flowers, may be made to Buzzy’s  ancestral church in St. Mary’s County, Maryland, where his family has been settled for over 350 years.  Please send donations to All Saints Episcopal Church, Oakley Parish, PO Box 307, Avenue, MD 20609.

Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000. The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.


[“The great tree massacre”] Add this one to the other rumors. I just heard someone say that the County cut the trees at a cost of $30 to the citizens.

[Evil Cable] Comcast charged me $5.30 a month for a sports fee. I called them and complained that I hate sports, never ordered it, and want the charge removed. Comcast said I must pay for other people’s sports even though I don’t have access to those channels.
talking fast lips


My wife can use 60 words a minute, 90 in a gust.

[Patriots] Any time I see an advertisement touting the work “patriot” I know it’s a scam or a bunch of gun nuts.


Glenn Frey’s claim to fame was co-writing Peaceful Easy Feeling with Jackson Browne. It made his career. Video

[Black Oscars] First Christmas wasn’t good enough so Kwanza was invented. Now the Oscars are too lily white. So what’s next, “Totally Black Rufus”? Will it ever end?
golf 9 holes[Golf Tournament] 25th Annual Al Mueller Memorial Classic Scholarship Golf Tournament to benefit Take Stock In Children Scholarship Fund Sunday, January 31, 2016 Key West Golf Club – 7 A.M. Start 6450 College Road, Stock Island (305-294-5232) Prizes on every hole — Awards event following tournament includes lunch, 50/50 and prizes $75 Entry Fee includes golf, lunch and goody bag. For more information, contact: Sheila Cantler – 305-676-3037 email: Presented by the Big Pine and Lower Keys Rotary Club
I went up to Tavernier Town and watched the new Star Wars movie in 3D. I saw the original when first released and although the 3D effects were interesting, the latest movie itself was a bit of a letdown. I guess just too many sequels. Most theaters only show it in 3D during the evening showings and not for the matinees.
tree trunk blink[Save The Trees of Big Pine Shopping Center] Yes, the trees have been chopped down. Yes, the trees are being uprooted. And yes, the trees can be saved! There is a new park under development that could use these fine old growth trees, now stumps and roots but still powerful engines of plant growth. The sunset picnic park on North Pine Channel now in the design/development stage needs more shade to shelter us. The trees that for years provided welcome shade from the tropical sun can go on doing the same. We just need to dig the holes for their new life and put them in.
Forgotten Felines of the Florida Keys will hold its first quarterly meeting of the season at the Martin Luther Chapel (behind the NAPA store on Overseas Highway in Marathon) on Monday, January 25th.  The meeting will start at 6:30 p.m. and the public is invited.  Refreshments will be served.

Forgotten Felines is an all-volunteer organization which provides food and veterinary care to homeless and abandoned cats in the Middle and Lower Keys.  They also place adoptable cats in loving homes and strive to educate the public about the importance of proper care and spay/neuter of pets.  In the nearly two decades of its existence, Forgotten Felines has spayed/neutered more than 3,000 cats.  They also maintain a number of daily feeding stations which service several hundred homeless cats.

If you are unable to attend, but are interested in becoming a Forgotten Felines volunteer should call (305) 743-2520

legal online pcMake your own Living Trust and avoid probate. Simple DIY to set up your own trust with this book.  You don’t even have to name it after yourself.  You could title your trust as, My Big Left Toe Trust, dated 1/23/2016.

Suze Orman says that everyone should have a Living Trust, rich or poor.  Or you could pay an attorney to do this for you for at least two grand.  It is a fun weekend project to keep yourself busy and out of mischief. Link
Get it typed out using the templet in the back, sign and notarize it and start placing your paid-for assets in your trust.  Be sure to take the first three pages of your trust to your bank(s) and ask them to title your checking and savings in the trust with your name as the trustee.  If you don’t do this and Mr. Wonderful plops dead tomorrow, your money / cars / boats / scooters could have a hold on it until probate ends.

Don’t forget your advance health care directive wishes.  If you do not wish to be kept alive or want to donate your organs – this is the document to accompany your Living Trust.  Then, keep a copy of your advance directive in your glove compartment.  If you send a copy of it to your doctor and you do not wish to be artificially kept alive like Bobbi Kristini Brown, your doctor may drop you as a patient.  Organ donors should keep in mind that sometimes a bad doctor will let you die so they can harvest your organs.

You’d better enjoy these low gas prices while you can. I just read that the head of British Petroleum (BP) said oil prices will rise. How many of you remember back in ’72-’73 the government created oil shortage, which was another big lie perpetuated by them claiming we were running out of oil. I had talked to some employees of Badger Pipeline and was advised of the lie. I was told of the oil tankers anchored offshore waiting to unload because there was no storage left to unload their cargo. If you remember gas at that time was $0.36 per gallon and $28 a barrel. Our government claimed there was an Arab boycott. After this false shortage, the prices of gas doubled. Looks like the people will get screwed again by big business/US gov. Want to bet gas prices will be back in the $3.00+/gallon by summer driving time even though the price of a barrel is the same as it was in the 70’s.
czar-question[Ancestors] Golly gee whiz, I just got finished researching my family history and DNA records; and after three years of intense snooping I found out my great, great, great grandfather was wanted in seven different countries before being shot by a firing squad for treason in Poland. My great, great, great grandmother was a prostitute in Moscow. Sort of warms one’s heart to know my three years and thousands of dollars went for something interesting. So much for being the next Czar!
[“Winn-Dixie parking lot trees”] I heard the current tree roots are driving up the concrete parking lot. If you look around where the trees are, I believe it to be true. Now they might also be planting palms to make it look more tropic too, but that’s what I heard on Monday.
pub amy winehouse


I watched the Amy Winehouse documentary tonight titled simply “Amy”. What an incredibly sad, tragic story. I’m no jazz fan but, what an amazingly talented young woman. Camerawork is crap but a very powerful film.

[Global Warming] They’re at it again. The latest in the blame game. It is now claimed that prehistoric man is the blame for global warming. The claim is that when clearing land to plant crop they burned of the vegetation over 7000 years ago by a bunch of stone age farmers who just developed agriculture started global warming. Do these forecasters really believe that the population actually believe their fantasies.


We need a smoke detector that shuts off when you yell “l’m just cooking.”

The reason for the WD tree removal is because several lawsuits have been filed by [old] people tripping over curbs claiming the trees blocked the lights at night. The trees will be replaced by palm trees.

[“Scandal in the Sheriff’s Department”] I wonder what happened to the veteran Monroe County sheriff’s department whistle blower who was going to post more information about corruption and wrongdoing in the department. (December 19th edition of CT) Did they get to him?

Anyone know when Cocos in the Big Pine Shopping Center is reopening? They were supposed to be open in time for ‘season’ when Beals started construction last summer. I miss the huevos rancheros and Cuban coffee. The rebuild is so slow. I have seen whole houses go up in less time than it has taken to remodel a small restaurant here. Hope they are getting compensated for all the lost business.
fuelperks[WD Fuel Perks] With such low gas prices I bet WD is going to stop the Fuel Perks. The Shell stations have to be complaining by now.
[Snowbirds] When Deer Ed gutted the political section he could have taken away the other whiners too. BPK residents, put your big boy pants on and live with the tourists. Other people are starving and living with cancer and somehow getting along. In my city, when people ask for directions to the subway while they’re standing in it, or they want to know where the IHOP is for some fine dining, I deal with it. It’s not the end of the world.
police traffic

[Flea Market Police] I was told 2 years ago by the Monroe County Sheriff that the police on duty are not there to direct traffic. They are there so there is a police presence. I know this doesn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t they want to direct traffic to keep the peace and with so many accidents on US 1? In my opinion the Flea Market should be hiring them to direct traffic before someone gets killed.

[GE] General Electric appliance division was bought by the Chinese. It is now called Gook Enterprise.


Use a staple remover to open key rings, not destroy your nails trying to do that.

Does anybody know the progress of Walmart on Rockland key?



You still can’t fix stupid.

Have you noticed, people love to text and email, but hardly ever send personal pictures anymore. Only the selfies crowd does that. Anybody over 40 seems not to want to spread the wealth and stay incognito.
worship coffee



Cheap dope anyone? Try coffee. I stopped drinking coffee for a year and my head and body became complacent and lethargic. Started drinking real coffee again and feel alive and peppy. Just think if I added real sugar like when I was a kid. Could be I would get a life again?

I mentioned to my wife that I was going to get a bigger hard drive. She got all excited until I said, “For the computer, ya twit!” Now she is depressed again.
computer download arrows

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, January 23, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there.

Natalie Cole Tribute. Video
helpful[Flat Tire] I had to trailer my boat up to Key Largo last week to get some work done. About mile mark 70 or so I had a flat on the trailer. In the time it took me to change it (15-20) minutes, three different people stopped to ask if I needed a hand! It gave me a really good feeling to part of this Island community. There good people down here folks. Keep helping each other out.
By 2050 there will be more plastic than fish in the world’s oceans, study says. Link


Rock legend Animal dies aged 66. Link

[Show-off] A member of the Taliban precision rifle drill team. Video
yard-sale-banner[Tools] My yard sale last week was such fun that I’m going to do it again this Saturday, Jan 23 from 8 to 1.  Continuing to clean out I’ve brought in some new stuff. I live on Sugarloaf Shores. At the blinker at mm. 17 turn onto Sugarloaf Blvd. Go about 1/2 mile to Wahoo Lane & turn right to the last house on the right.

Here is a partial list of the things I have for sale:  Floor model band saw, belt sander, oxy/acetylene welding set, acetylene torch & tank flexible shaft die grinders (3), foundry equipment, table saw, small hand tools (100’s), power tools, printer, office chairs, Yamaha keyboard, picture frames, canvas stretchers, art supplies, blender, food processor, towing chains, anchors, small dinghy, antique camcorder, slightly less antique camcorder, sculpture, lamps, motors, anvils, binoculars, camera, knives, small tools, big tools.

Has anybody else had problems with eBay and their new fees for everything? By the time I sell something, they take their 15% and charges fees for shipping, and other items. Crag’s List seems to be getting flack about hot stuff being sold there. Some of the localized web sites are untrustworthy and PayPal was hacked several times already. What is left to use?


Redneck engineering.

[WD Trees] Monroe County charged them a permit fee of $19,000 for the privilege of cutting down their own trees? When will the greed end?
drinking water sign


[Fresh Water] Considering that Flint, Michigan is having their water poisoned by stupidity, how long would we live here in the Keys if our drinking water crashed? Two days or three? Some of you have water filters to make sea water palatable, but I have never seen one yet that will supply a house with kids and pets, especially if the electric power goes off. You just cannot hand pump fast enough for more than two people. Rain? Forget about it.

I went to a yard sale the other day. The person had a brand new ceiling fan still in the un-opened box with a $49.95 price tag on it. I asked how much and was told $10.00. I looked at the person and said, you spent $50.00 dollars for this and the time and gas and sales tax to get it, why so cheap? I was told it was not needed! Some people just are not destined to make it!
washing machine bubbles

Like new washer and dryer for sale Whirlpool high efficiency washer and Frigidaire dryer both 27W x 35H x 25D. Used 1 year and a half in single person household. No issues. Asking $500 for the pair. Please contact me between 8 a.m – 4 p.m. 321-514-8834

[Hair Fetish] Hairy girls. Video
propane-bottle[Propane Denied] I am a disabled person who I drove all the way from Bay Point to Big Pine to get propane from All Keys Gas. I went inside and asked the woman, sitting inside doing nothing, if I could purchase some propane; I have my own bottle. She informed me that they don’t fill bottles on demand. I find that strange since I have been filling them there for a few years now. I am guessing that either 1. they dislike disabled people, or 2. they don’t need the business, or perhaps both. Needless to say I ate cold cuts for dinner.
[Sales Tax] What’s the consensus on the proposed 1 cent increase in the County sales tax CoCoTele readers? On the plus side, it allows visitors to share in the cost of emergency responder services. On the minus side, it furthers burdens the residents who are struggling to make ends meet. An idea: increase it 1/2 cent instead of 1 cent. According to the County staff, a 1 cent increase would raise 5 million more than needed (they plan to give it to social services, which would require permission from the State.) Why would they do that?
no wimps[“Neighbor says not to have a yard sale”] Don’t be a wimp. Have the sale, make some money, get rid of junk, and have some fun. Most locals are terribly negative about everything.
Too bad about the Winn Dixie parking lot trees, they were probably helping to absorb some of the water when it rains. Maybe the landlord would consider ways to improve the drainage. When it rains, you need a dingy to traverse the middle of the lot.
huey lewis[Huey Lewis & the News] Key West, FL., and April 2, 2016:  Clear the stage and make way for Huey Lewis & the News one of America’s great rock & roll bands.  As they enter their 36th year together, their contagious brand of music has outlasted countless trends, and is as fresh today as ever.  Formed from two rival Bay Area bands in 1979, they continue to thrill audiences worldwide, selling over 20 million albums in the process, earning them the right to mark their place on the pop history map. Concert will be held at the Truman Annex Waterfront, next to Zachary Taylor State Park at the end of the 7th Florida Keys Ocean Festival which supports coral reef restoration and research programs at Mote Marine Lab in the Florida Keys  Gates for Keystock will be opening at 6:00.  Show starts at 6:30.  Ticket Cost: VIP $100 & General Admission are $40.00.  VIP & General Admission tickets can purchased by calling 305-745-1079 or go to and order on line!
[Value] I have a web site that people use to sell stuff. I charge $1.00 to process their ad, their picture of the item and to let them use my shipping and payment systems. I do 100,000 processes per month. Another web site does the exact same thing, but charges a percentage of the gross value of the sale. Every sale is over $1.00. That site does a million processes per month. Are people stupid or what?
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