2018 March

Friday, March 9, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​

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[Blame the NRA] The National Rifle Association Member. Five million strong. The most influential government lobbyist today, and big contributor to congressional elections. Defender of 2nd amendment rights. Advocate and provider of gun education and training. Founded in 1871. An American Institution.

But as a member you are responsible for the mass shootings in our Country today. Responsible? Yes, you. Culpable, yes. You, as an NRA member. Face it. Because the NRA refuses to consider any restrictions on gun ownership, allowing crazies or fools to own mass killing machines.

It wasn’t always that way. The NRA supported the National Firearms Act of 1934 which was put in place to regulate automatic weapons and sawed off shotguns, the killing machines of the day. The NRA supported the Gun Control Act of 1968. The NRA president at that time stated to Congress that the NRA had long supported sensible gun legislation.

Not so today. Since 1977, when an internal activist revolt changed the direction of the NRA, the NRA has not supported any gun restrictions. On the contrary it opposed the Federal Assault Weapons Ban in 1994, and again the Assault Weapons Ban of 2013. As any member knows, today the NRA spends heavily on campaigns, legislation and court cases. All to ban any restrictions on guns.

Every time you send in your dues, or make a contribution to the NRA PAC, you are supporting the next mass shooting. Because your organization supports the unrestricted manufacture and sale of mass killing machines.

Don’t like mass slaughter of school children? The 147th NRA annual meeting this year is May 4-6. Attendance is expected to be 80,000. All responsible, all culpable.

Maybe you should support the election of NRA board members who think gun restrictions are needed, if you can find any today. Unlikely since the election slate is hand-picked by the “committee of 6” in the NRA oligarchy. Maybe you should run next year. Good luck. Make America Great Again. Be a Patriot. Make your Founders proud. Keep the mass killing machines out of the hands of the fools and crazies.

If not, try not to puke when you are shaving in the morning after the next mass killing.

[R.I.P.] I just saw where Louis Hughes passed away in NC. Some of the old-timers will remember him as the crazy harmonica player at the old Captain Dan’s Key Deer Bar and Grill. He played with Gary Blodgett and Scottie Harper as the “Stinky Nightgown”. Those were great times. Peaceful sailing, my friend.

The Senior Center has reopened! So the next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, March 10, 10 am at the Big Pine Senior Center.  Hope to see everyone there!

[Liberal With Gun] I’m sure that I’m a conservative’s worst nightmare. I’m a liberal (actually a middle of the road American) that likes guns. And there’s nothing wrong with having a gun.  I’ve always had guns.  Pistols and rifles.  I have a pistol now. I grew up with guns all over the house where you could just go back in the woods and shoot any time you wanted to.  A box of .22s was 55 cents.

We just need to get a handle on how they are sold and who they are sold to.  Right now if you are on the TSA “No Fly” terrorist list you can still legally buy any kind of gun you want in the US.

Here’s what you need to know. No one is saying take all your guns away. No one is saying take away the 2nd Amendment or even change it. If you believe we are, then your leadership in the NRA have done what they set out to do — brainwash you.

What people are saying is to ban military type weapons. Adopt gun laws that will help save lives. Stronger background checks, no weapons should be sold without background checks.

And truthfully, I’m getting tired of worrying every day my granddaughter goes to school. We need to reinstate common sense again in this country.

And if you loose your military style weapons, then you have my “Thoughts and Prayers”.

[Deer Ed] There are times I get caught up in the humdrum of life, realize what day of the week it is, and go to your site. It makes me smile. I love your humor, honesty, and love for your islands and each other. I’m moving there in May, don’t cringe, I got a place to stay. I met the love of my life in Big Pine. Life is amazing, just like your beautiful keys. I’m not loaded, just a hard-working woman, business owner for 20 years, who plans on doing something down there to contribute. I prayed and cried for you all during Irma. I remind people in my life how easily we forget the troubles you all face every day. And you all have some beautiful fishing down there. If there’s any place to catch the fishing bug, I caught it there. I not only fell in love with the man of my dreams, I fell in love with the water and people of Big Pine. You all should be so proud of what you have created. You’re all gems. Thank you
[Til Death Do Us Part] See, women can be funny too! Video
[People Aren’t Moving After Irma] Fewer properties are on the market and increased sales levels in comparison to the months that followed Wilma, according to a recent Coldwell Banker Schmitt real estate report. But last year’s real estate news wasn’t all rosy when compared to 2016, as property sales dropped about 5 percent, to 2,602 from 2,747, and average sales price edged down about 2 percent to $571,000 from $581,000, according to data from Tri-Services Multiple Listing Service Board for Key Largo to Key West.



I saw the first morning dove Thursday. You can hear them before you see them because they squeak when they fly. We call them squeaky doves.

[Friday Joke] “Doc, I don’t too feel good.”
“You’ve got to stop masturbating.”
“Why Doc?”
“Because I’m examining you!”
[Gun Violence] Americans are about to confront a public health crisis that costs 33,000 lives in a year, compared to one or two hundred in other industrialized countries, and has plagued our nation for decades. More than likely nothing will change as long as NRA members don’t mind all the killing. Only when that mindset changes will deaths decline.


[“Defend yourself”] From what? In what instance do you need a machine gun that the cops or the army couldn’t handle better? What drives your fear? Just what are you afraid of that you need a weapon of war?

[Correction] “Seventy-two killed resisting gun confiscation in Maryland. ” It was Massachusetts, not Maryland. Good story!
You really exist only when you’re in a field sharing and exchanging information. You create the realities you inhabit.  ~Timothy Leary
[“Gun violence”] I put the fault at the feet of the NRA for destroying any politician who even brings up the subject of gun control. The NRA just passes lip service when their favorite weapons of war are used to kill our kids. Have you no shame or guilt?


Members of a Boston midget crime gang are suspected of 55 break-ins. I’ll bet the one on the left was the brains of the ring.

[“Illegal workers”] “What happens if I hire an illegal to do some work on my property, but don’t know it? What if he/she gets hurt?” If you hire someone to do work on your property get a copy of their driver’s license and a government form I-9. That will CYA you on their immigration status.

As far as workers getting hurt, you need to require insurance. Get a certificate of insurance showing worker’s comp coverage and general liability insurance. Have their agent name you as an additional insured. It must be noted on the insurance certificate that you are an additional insured with respect to general liability. Call their agent to verify that the insurance certificate is authentic. Also, pay for the material yourself and just pay the contactor for labor. That will stop you from getting a lien placed on your property from a supplier. Pay with a check or credit card so you have a paper trail. Get everything in writing. No handshake deals. If a contractor has a problem with any of the above, do not use them!

Comparing knives to assault weapons shows how desperate the haters are to keep their weapons of war.
[“Defend yourself”] Get real, you only want assault rifles to kill government forces in case you think our government gets out of control. That’s our friends and neighbors you’re talking about killing. That’s who the military and law enforcement are. Don’t forget that.  That’s when you finally admit that you don’t really believe in democracy and voting and you think our elections are rigged. As for foreign invasion (what a joke) don’t you think the military could handle it? Your assault rifle won’t do you much good then. No one needs a military gun to defend his home. Do you think you’ll be under siege?
[Friday Joke] A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So, how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $17M, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic, “Try doing it with the engine running.

[Phil Boyle R.I.P.] You were a straight shooter, also the most honest man that I have ever met other than my father. Thank you, Phil, R.I.P. You will truly be missed.

[“Joe Donnelly – NRA spokesman”] Reading your first paragraph sounds just the way our current government speaks about any topic that they are against. I find it strange that you can make such a statement with a straight face and not see the hypocrisy in your thinking. But such is the sick world we now are being subjected to by one-issue people. AR-15s do not make us safer, unless in the hands of our military during combat.
Some of the gun nuts are so eager to show their knowledge of weapon nomenclature that they miss the whole argument about banning rapid fire weapons and large magazines. Is this clear enough for them? How can it be made simpler? Who cares what those things are called. No one needs them and only the scary people want them.




[History Denier] You, CT poster who typed that Key West was illuminated by electric lights in 1857, how can that be? It can’t be. Why post that?

[“Arming teachers”] To you, who typed that perhaps lunch ladies in schools would soon be armed with grenades if we armed some teachers to fight back against armed criminals. I know that was meant as a joke-that fell flat with me-how insensitive to this issue can a person be? This is part of a potential solution to this criminal problem we have in the world. Why make ridiculous jokes? Wouldn’t you have wanted, say, the gym couch who used his body to try and stop bullets intended for students to have instead been armed to possibly return fire and perhaps stop the bloodshed? Think, man. Don’t just react emotionally, and in your case, irrationally.
[Election] Only in Monroe County can a bum and self-admitted child rapist be running for mayor. Damn, you got to love Key West.


[Big Red Bus] For all those eligible to donate blood, the One Blood Big Red Bus is at Winn Dixie Shopping Center on Tuesday, March 12 from 11:30 – 4:30. Donors get a St. Pat’s Day shirt!

I’d love to know which demolition contractor ‘lifeinthekeys@’ used. I, too, need demo work
[The Elite Snob] “Downstairs enclosures” It’s unbelievable that you still act like low renters with wheels and want to create a trashed out community with million dollar homes that allow junk people to live under them. This is paradise, not some skid row island chain in the Caribbean. If you cannot afford to live here, don’t! Go to Texas or Detroit where you belong. It is bad enough the sicko holies want to convert these islands into religious ghettos and bring in more useless eaters.
[Guns] Remember when our government took away our cars by requiring licensing and registration? Neither do I.
Marathon Seafood Festival. Video



[The Throne] Do Kings and Queens have sore behinds from sitting on the throne all day?

When a porn star sues our President and makes him look like the same level of trash she is, why can’t the government take steps to arrest such low life’s for treason or just shoot the SOB or ship them out to some gulag somewhere? This crap would not happen in Russia.




In case you were wondering which came first.

[Conquistadors in Brazil 1522] These Indians rear numbers of geese, as a protection against crickets. They also rear fowls, and shut these up at night to protect them from bats, which cut off their combs, and, in this way, cause their death. These bats are an evil kind of animal, and numerous on the banks of the river. They are larger than our doves in Spain, with teeth so sharp that their bite is not felt. They never bite a man except in the toes and the tip of the nose. When several persons are together, and this animal has bitten one, he will not touch the others, but never leaves that one he has attacked. They bite at night, but never appear in the day-time.

We had great difficulty in protecting our horses’ ears from them. When a bat enters a stable, the horses become so frightened that they waken all the people in the house, and it is impossible to quiet them till the bat has been killed or driven out.

The governor was bitten by one of those animals while he was asleep in a brigantine, one of his feet being uncovered. All night the blood kept on flowing, till he woke from feeling his leg cold, and finding the bed soaked with blood, thought somebody had wounded him; but those on board searched for the place where he was wounded, and, when they found what they knew, by experience, to be the bite of a bat, they laughed. The governor found that a slice of his toe had been bitten off. These bats always bite where there is a vein.

They served us a bad trick on one occasion. When we were starting on our voyage of exploration we had six pregnant sows, and hoped to rear a race of pigs. When the little pigs were born, and tried to suck their mother, they could not find her teats, because these had been bitten off by the bats; so the young pigs died, and we had to eat the sows, because they were unable to rear their young.

There are other bad animals in this country; these are very large ants of two kinds, red and black. It is most pitiable to see a person who has been stung by either of these ants, for he utters loud cries, and rolls on the ground for twenty-four hours, during which the pain lasts; and there is no remedy for it.

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