2013 May

Friday, May 17, 2013

The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

The Original Unsocial Media

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(Saturday, May 18, 2013 The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays)

an flood lighthouseFlood insurance]  There were a few things missing in the information about the ground level home and his policy going up 800%. As an agent who does not work for the one advertised here.  My first questions to the writer is “Is it your primary home or a secondary home?” All ground levels will see an increase this coming renewal. 10% if its your primary.  There will be a 25% increase on all homes if it is not your primary home. Regardless of elevation  (I have not heard of a proposed 800% increase unless they have changed the flood maps and I am not aware of that.)  

The next question I would ask is what flood zone are you in?  Any home in a VE zone (very expensive) Velocity zone is extreme in premium.  Most of these homes are in, or near open water.  What people do not understand is that is just because your home is elevated does not mean it will not flood.  It depends on the base flood level of the zone you are in.  I have talked to insured’s whose home is elevated 15 feet but because they are in a VE zone and the base flood level is 18 feet they are considered at a negative 3 feet which means that FEMA expects your living quarters to flood.  

Another issue I hear a lot about regardless of flood level, is that my home is elevated so it will not flood. Wrong, I try to explain to clients that your pilings can be in danger of damage from the in-going or out-going tide, therefore flood is the only policy that will fix your pilings should something smash into them.  If you porch is hanging off your house and you don’t have flood insurance it is an out of pocket expense for you.  Do you have that kind of money to make the repair?  After living in the Keys for 22 years and growing up on Long Island I have come to realize that we are not the true survivors of hurricanes that we think.  During Wilma the radio reported that there were two 40′ waves detected in the Gulf.  Hence the flooding on the bay side of the Keys, which was predicted by Brian Norcross, saying the flooding of Wilma would be worse then Georges.

What we have not experience here in the Keys in a long time is a direct hit.  If two 40′ waves come straight at us how high do you think the surge will be?  The house I grew up in on LI was hit with flooding. It washed out the south shore of LI for up to a mile, and that was not a direct hit. We have to remember that the government is running out of money and the people in the midwest getting hit hard by flooding, do not have insurance. Therefore they expect our risk of flooding to rise. Hence the increase of premiums.  I understand their thinking, sometimes I do not understand how other people think.    Thanks for the opportunity to bring this subject to light. 

 I have a beautiful house for sale in Eden Pines. Please watch this Video. ~Nira Tocco

[“Jet ski that bothered the flats fisherman”] I am so sick and tired of flats fisherman. They think they own the waters.  Conversely if it was in the back country, jet skis are forbidden to be there and I uphold that, however if it is out front, the jet ski has the same right as a boat.  I have had dumb ass flat fisherman come within 50 ft of me when I was in my boat and they were heading home.  Lets not have double standards here. If  someone is fishing I give him space, whether I am on my boat or jet ski.  But i have to say flats fishermen are ripoff artists to begin with and think they own the water.

an attack man

That 8 foot female croc that was shot and killed was probably by a father who had a 3 year old daughter that weighed about as much as that Key Largo dog that got eaten about a year ago – snatched off a dock. Can’t say I blame him for protecting his daughter, I don’t care it they are protected or not, they just want a meal and don’t know our rules about humans and dogs being protected differently.

Forget about the 6,000 dollar reward or him going to jail for 5 years, think what you would do if this critter was threatening your child?

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[Gun Nut] Someone who lives for the day that he can blow away somebody breaking into their house.

[Jet ski] I was tooling along about 40 mph offshore from Key West one day and a tourist cut directly in front of me on his rented jet ski, forcing me to jam the helm into reverse. I had a charter at the time and tried to remain cool. The reason the jet skier gave me was that he was lost and wanted to know the direction back to Key west. I sent him towards Cuba. I hope he made it. (My motor’s gears were okay.)


Has anyone noticed that godzilla-sized white rooster stomping around the WD parking lot? It was standing in the space I wanted to park in yesterday- I blew the horn but he didn’t even flinch,and I think he even gave me the “wing”. I gave up and found another parking place. 

[FEMA to raise flood insurance drastically] E-mail your state representatives about your dislikes to this reform act of 2012 that will raise some of our rates by 800%.  Yes, I said 800%.  Everyone’s rate is going up.

Senator Bullard at

Representative Raschein at

These are their assistants that you have to go through.

I was told by my insurance agent today and I quote “What difference does it make anyway, you can’t do anything about it”. Let’s prove them all wrong.  There is strength in numbers. 


I wonder how many Christians are aware of the fact that, many practices are actually Pagan rituals? December 25th (was actually Dec. 21st the winter solstice), was celebrated as the birth of Horus by a virgin mother who gave birth to Horus. Which was visited by three wise kings bearing gifts, following a bright star, by the Ancient Egyptians. Helios, was a blond haired blue eyed god, born on Dec. 21st. Also born from a virgin mother, who was visited by three wise kings bearing gifts, following a bright star, by the Romans … (continued in Long-Winded Tomes below NNK Electric)

I keep wondering why the Florida Public Service Commission is so interested in exercising its dominion over federal environmental law and Monroe County’s comprehensive plan and a tiny amount of Keys Energy Services electricity being available to 45 or so homes on No Name Key, but the PSC seems not in the least interested in exercising its dominion over Key Energy Services and Key West for not trimming trees back away from power lines, as required by federal and state law, and even Key West city ordinance, according to Sandy Downs, and as required by just plain common decency and respect for human life?



Milky Way and shimmering aurorae flow through the night. Like an echo, below them lies Iceland’s spectacular Godafoss, the Waterfall of the Gods. Shining just below the Milky Way, bright Jupiter is included in the panoramic nightscape recorded on March 9. Faint and diffuse, the Andromeda Galaxy (M31) appears immersed in the auroral glow. The digital stitch of four frames is a first place winner in the 2013 International Earth and Sky Photo Contest on Dark Skies Importance organized by The World at Night.

[Salt]  A little bit more about salt; it doesn’t automatically come with iodine, you have to look for iodized on the label to make sure you get that.

If I had an 8 foot crocodile in my yard I’d shoot it too. Conservation is one thing – my family’s safety is another. 



[Power to the People] Best wishes and congratulations to the folks out on No Name Key.  Better get that central AC and the big fridge ordered, this summer will be another a hot one. 

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Sounds to me that the flats fisherman was lucky the jet ski guy wasn’t packing heat.

Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer!


[Debt] Did you know millions of Americans live with debt they cannot control? That’s why I developed this unique new program for managing your debt: it’s called “Don’t buy stuff you can’t afford.”


[Guns] The way I see it, when it comes to guns, there are three basic types of people: the silent majority of ordinary, normal gun owners; people who just don’t like guns and don’t want anything to do with them; and your gun nut whom you hear spouting off about them all of the time and how he’d kill this one and that one. 

[Insurance] The bank who now owns our house of twenty years just sent us a notice that they bought windstorm insurance for one year. Price: $12000. That’s $1000/per month.

Is this going to finish home ownership for working people?



[Caution] Don’t do something permanently stupid just because you are temporarily upset.

The taxpayers have not saved millions or a penny from the sophomoric negotiations with the trash collectors.  The county is still operating under the old contract which expires in 2014.  The negotiator on behalf of the county is the Lucy Ricardo of negotiations.  But wait, the commissioners don’t care because she is one of the protegees of the administration and the mayor.


[More bar wisdom] It becomes a relationship the minute you have sober sex.



Oven baked coconut shrimp. This photo sort of looks like a sea lion lying down. Link

[insurance] The increase in flood insurance also includes elevated homes even though it doesn’t cover anything until about 14 ft which hasn’t happened in centuries.  The increase is not as much, but is still a rip off because it doesn’t cover anything.  It is however required to get a mortgage.  If you can’t pay your house off to eliminate this as we did when Obama took over and we feared for financial disaster for this country, you will have to pay this insurance for nothing, but it is required by the mortgage company.  Windstorm is next, we cancelled that too when we paid off the loan.  In 8 years we have saved over $70,000 dollars in insurance costs for flood and wind. We need to do something about this rip off.

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[Things I Didn’t Know They Made] Bondage unisex stainless steel anal hook. The rope master steel anal hanger shipped in discrete package, no invoices included. $81. Ouch!

[FDOT busted] Tweaked red light rules below Federal recommendations to generate more traffic ticket income. Link


[Religious types, not all bad] Many are very decent, good people and one tends have more trust in them as many think of themselves as always having to answer to a higher authority for their actions.

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[Where can you locate/contact the IKC members] I would start looking here: Menu > Arrest Reports Mug Shots

[Insurance] I just got my Citizen’s wind renewal for an open water home in Tropical Bay: $4400+. Why in God’s name doesn’t someone do something about this highway robbery? No one is going to tell me there are not other insurance companies out there to break up this state-operated monopoly.



And the winner is the Bacon Taco!

[Insurance] “What you see in Key West is a very compressed kind of microcosm of problems that unfold over a longer period of time on a bigger scale on the mainland,” my neighbor in Marathon says. “When the price of insurance goes up, it’s going to affect a place like Key West a lot faster and harder” because its economy is so dependent on tourism. The Keys draw 3.6 million tourists and generate $2.2 billion a year, according to the Monroe County Tourist Development Council.

an bird silly[Flunked Keys 101] Paradise does not come easy.  The final episode was the fat guy took away our votes twice.  He did not believe our Democrat signatures.  Other episodes included toxic mental case neighbors drinking Busch in the morning, our mail being messed with, every single mechanic raping us for simple repairs, massive amounts of trash and furniture roadkill, over-fishermen, cutting trees down, fake friends with agendas, drunk drivers, coke heads in uniforms, and over-priced groceries.  The insurance and price of our home was easy compared to the aforementioned.  

It is fun to watch you people reap what you have sown.  Sorry, we were not bitter before we moved to your junkyard.  Happy to be gone and never ever spend money in the Keys.  We have lots of it and it is a great, big, beautiful world provided the state of Florida for felons is not included.

[Navy Key West] The House Armed Services Committee has authorized the Navy to enter into exclusive lease negotiations with the City of Key West to allow the City’s continued use of the Mole Pier. This will enable the Navy and the City to begin negotiating the terms of the lease that will accommodate berthing of cruise ships and generation of revenue to be reinvested into the Truman Waterfront Park and NAS Key West.  The current lease is set to expire June 30. 

[Insurance] The population decline in the Keys is the result in part of geography and growth management. Our Keys offers only so much land to build on. And to curb environmental damage and over commercialism, and protect residents from hurricane property damage, the state and local governments have imposed strict building codes that have driven up the price of housing. But more worrisome to many residents is an upswing in hurricane activity that battered Florida in 2004 and 2005. Property insurance rates have skyrocketed since then, prompting many to pack up and leave.



[Salt] Before refrigeration, meat was preserved with salt. Salt was used as money in much of the world. It had real value.

[Insurance] I had an across the street neighbor on Aster Lane that owned an older (one of the very first built in Eden Pines) ground level home.  His flood policy cost him $8000 annual.  Wilma made all the premiums worth it for him as he had four feet of water inside his home.

So, super high flood premiums are nothing new.  I am amazed at the posters $1300 quote compared to my neighbor.   

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an chase tail an


I just watched my dog chase its tail for 5 minutes and I thought, Dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized I was just watching my dog chase it’s tail for 5 minutes.

(Ed: to those of you who sent in a joke today I forgot it was Friday (joke day) and deleted them. Sorry.)

Getting the graph guy to explain his graphs is like trying to nail Jello to a tree.


For those truly lame in the brain.

Yesterdays question of the century “Dear House of Representatives, Who exactly are you representing? Play Powerball, you have a better chance of winning Powerball than you do of having that question answered.

an_Memorial_day2 (2)[Memorial Day Reflection & Remembrance] Boy Scout Troop 588 recently conducted an awe-inspiring flag retirement ceremony at the Tavernier Elk’s Lodge.

Scouting advanced the foundation upon which my core values were constructed. It aroused within me an appreciation of nature and the outdoors, while teaching me the skills to competently live in concert with God’s creation.

Growing up in the South Bronx, I thoroughly enjoyed being able to hike and camp confidently in the wilderness. In a few short years I would utilizes my scouting skills to safely traverse enemy trails in the jungles of Vietnam.

The United States Marine Corps and the Boy Scouts of America had trained me to the point that no matter where we were dropped off during a battle, I knew my location. My attention was solely concentrated on the enemy at hand. I credit the Boy Scouts with instructing me with the basic techniques that upon application saved my life.

The red stripes in the flags that the scouts retired represent the blood that has been shed in securing and maintaining our freedom. The flag symbolizes the principles and constitutional guarantees that our illuminated in our founding documents. It has served as a rallying point during our nation’s darkest hours.

It is the garment that is placed upon the bodies of our men and women who have been killed while answering the call of duty.

A charismatic African-American Marine carried a small American Flag during our combat operations. He wanted to hold it with his comrades on our last mission and have a group picture taken.

Several bullets tore through him and the flag that he carried. During the battle his flag was used to to apply pressure to the wounds that eventually killed him. This flag rested upon this Marine’s lifeless body as he was moved to a landing zone to begin his journey home.

Appropriately retiring the colors of our nation recognizes that the liberty guaranteed to us in our Declaration of Independence and Constitution are worth defending. It validates and sanctifies the sacrifice of those who have preceded us; so that their blood offerings may not have been made in vain.

My sincerest thanks to Boy Scout Troop 588, the Elk’s Club and all those who made this magnificent ceremony possible. ~John Connolly


Zipline tourist attractions only serve the tourist trash industry with circus garbage profiteering. Those that want such play with their ziplines too much. No ziplines in the Keys. In fact let’s get the Keys back to the islands they once were. Burn the freaking bridges!

sea change

[Free Movie] On Saturday, June 8, Sanctuary Friends Foundation of the Florida Keys will be featuring A Sea Change in honor of World Oceans Day. It is a documentary capturing the touching portrait of a grandfather mulling over the ocean being left for future generations. The free film will be located upstairs at the Marathon Power Squadron Building, 52nd St. Gulf on Loggerhead Ln. Doors open at 6:30p.  Free popcorn, with drinks available for a small donation.  For more information Bulletin Board

[IKC] Visit Newman Outfitters and buy some artillery. Practice at Dan’s indoor range. Go forth and handle the problem yourself.



Charcoal filter your husband’s beer farts. Save the planet.

[Lying to God’s Representatives] Liar, liar. The poster who sent this in needs help, must be a JW for sure. Sick people you are!

religion politics zone

There was a post about embassies attacked and people killed while George W. Bush was president.  What the stats don’t show is that it was attackers killed, because the embassies were well defended.

Another thing I thought I’d never say, “I miss the FTR Guy.”

Those pesky Muslims spend a lot of time attacking embassies. Click on a spot on the map for details. The world lives in fear of Muslims. Link

Putting up the flag. Video

[Scandals] Where’s FTR when we need him!

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No one has more power than the IRS. Just the thought of them abusing that power is frightening.

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[FTR guy] I hope all is well. I really miss reading you everyday. Hurry back.

Stand by folks, the Benghazi investigation is starting to get even more interesting. It turns out there were at least 2 times the Administration asked the people in Benghazi if they needed more security right before the attack. Both times they told the administration no more security was needed

Keep your eyes peeled folks, this information won’t make it thru, or be brought up by some of our posters.



[“Tourism breaks all records”] Those great Florida tourism numbers are all that damn Obama’s fault.

[Stock market doubles] Obama borrows billions from foreigners then “loans” it to investment firms like Goldman Sachs at zero percent interest. They buy stock. A few days later another investment bank with billions in free money, buys that stock for slightly more than the Goldman fellows did. They sit on it a few days then Goldmans buys it again for just a little more.  Back and forth.   Thats why the market has doubled  Why do they keep playing? Because good ol’ Berneke says he won’t raise the rates on them. But soon those interest rates will go up. And all those  investment banks will pull that money out of the markets and start giving it back to the Feds. This will be the day of reckoning for America. There are no more real investors with real money in the markets anymore. It is all fake. Only a Democrat would be bragging about it.

Did FTR go on vacation?

Obama in his own words calling for single payer universal health care paid for entirely by the federal government. In other words taxpayer healthcare for all. Link

Keep in mind there were two county commissioners who voted to keep spending our tax money to fight the electric battle on nnk. Cruthers and Murphy. Vote them out next time around


I wonder how many Christians are aware of the fact that, many practices are actually Pagan rituals? December 25th (was actually Dec. 21st the winter solstice), was celebrated as the birth of Horus by a virgin mother who gave birth to Horus. Which was visited by three wise kings bearing gifts, following a bright star, by the Ancient Egyptians. Helios, was a blond haired blue eyed god, born on Dec. 21st. Also born from a virgin mother, who was visited by three wise kings bearing gifts, following a bright star, by the Romans. The Roman Emperor, Constantine, replaced Helios with that of Jesus. All three were believed to be the Alpha and Omega, and were known to be the sun (son). All three were crucified, and after three days resurrected from death.

Eating bread symbolizing the body of Christ, and drinking wine symbolizing the blood of Christ, are also Pagan rituals beginningwith the Egyptians. The “Mitre” hat (fish hat) worn by the Pope, is actually a Sumerian Pagan custom which symbolizes the worship to “Dagon” the fish god, who is now, Jesus. This is one reason why the symbol for Jesus is the fish. Another reason is because Jesus was born in February, according to the Gnostic’s, which was the religion followed by John the Baptist, Jesus and all his disciples and followers. According to the Gnostic’s (knowledge of the cosmos), Jesus ushered in the age of Pisces, ending the age of Moses (Capricorn) the Rams horn.

The Pope and clergy were allowed to marry and bear children, until an economic conflict of interest arose. The conflict of interest was due to the financial inheritance left to the families of the Pope and clergy, and not to the church! This is when the oath to celibacy became mandatory. celibacy was due to the church’s greed and not for the belief of being pure of any carnal desires. The Pope and clergy had hidden (from the public) homosexual relations with their male slaves, and interns, since the beginning. It was always a Roman tradition, that was kept secret still today.

The belief that Roman Emperors had persecuted Christians, is not true at all! The truth is, they persecuted the Gnostic’s, which was the true practice of Jesus of Nazareth. Emperor Constantine created the concept of the Holy Bible. He ordered the Jewish council to canonize their Torah (old testament). Constantine also gave all the surviving Gnostic leaders an ultimatum. The ultimatum was, if you want to live, repent from Gnosticism, unite to his cause. Canonize the books that are considered a conflict of his interest, and claim that Jesus is the Christ. This is how the Holy Bible was born (the old and new testaments). It is quite evident that the Roman Catholic church displays many ancient Egyptian and Babylonian symbols, and rituals.

One example is a public display in St. peters Basilica. The Obelisk is from obeliscus – “in the shape of a spear”. For pagans, the obelisk was a solar symbol that represented a vital flow between heaven and earth, a way of communicating to the divine. Only three Sovereign States posses an Obelisks. The Vatican, London England and Washington D.C.!

Another public Pagan symbol displayed by the Pope, is the inverted, or upside down cross which is displayed on the Popes throne. The cross was the unequivocal symbol of Bacchus, the Babylonian Messiah, for he was represented with a head-band covered with crosses. The inverted cross is also used by Satanists. I always asked myself, if crosses were so abundant as a form of crucifixion by the Romans, how come there haven’t been any discoveries of crosses unearthed byarchaeologists?

Constantine being a Pagan until he died, mixed, in his newly formed religion, many Pagan stories and customs or rituals, so that the Roman populace would not rebel. Constantine realized that this was big business, and would save the crumbling empire, which it did. The Vatican is fully aware of this, and has many secrets stored away in the highly protected, Vatican archives, which is forbidden to be seen by anyone. What actually brought this to light, was the first discovery in 1947, of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

It is evident that many portions of the dead sea scrolls were written by the Gnostic’s, and hidden in the hopes of being discovered later on, as to disclose the truth of their movement and beliefs. The scrolls posses books written by Thomas, Mary Magdalena, Judas Iscariot and many more. The scrolls never mentioned Jesus as the Christ and even more as the Messiah! It clearly showed that a strong relationship existed between Mary and Jesus. I believe this was a threat to the church, knowing the truth, and they conceived the conspiracy of claiming that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, which was not true at all, until Pope Paul II publicly admitted the truth of this deception.

The Gnostic’s did not believe in temples of worship. Nor did they believe in material offerings for salvation, nor did they believe in priests. They believed in the true secret and possessed knowledge of consciousness and how it related to the cosmos. Through this practice and belief, they were able to preform many healings, and what is believed to be today, miracles, without any medicine. They believed that God lives within all of us. That we all, were given the gift of true knowledge by God as a gift to all humanity.  This was not good for business for the Hebrew high priests. This was the main reason why they insisted that Jesus be convicted and crucified as a criminal. The same concept is being carried out by the Vatican today. The motive was to replace a true free spiritualism, with a false sheeple like belief.

There is a lot more that hasn’t been disclosed for some reason or another (wink wink). It is believed that when the crusaders, known as the Knights Templar’s, went to Jerusalem and dug underneath the Temple Mount. They discovered these truths (knowledge) and blackmailed the all mighty, powerful Popes for 300 years. It is believed that what had begun as the Knights Templar’s back then, has become what is known as the Free Masons today, and still continue to keep this finding a highly protected secret. True knowledge.

The Holy Bible was then revised again by Martin Luther during the protestant movement, which was the rebellion against the Roman catholics. Resulting, the protestant bible has less books than the catholic bible. Then again, when King James translated the bible from solely Latin to English. This act caused many inaccurate interpretations still today.

Having been raised as a protestant, I have many family members that have gone to bible college, to become pastors. I asked one of my cousins, if he was taught any of these facts while studying four years in bible school, and he replied that this was all nonsense, and misconceptions from Satan. I was in awe hearing this response. I then asked him, isn’t it true that the Jews are Gods chosen people? He replied, “Yes.” I then asked him, will they go to heaven? He replied, “As long as they accept Jesus Christ as their savior.” I then asked, how is that possible, if they don’t believe that he was the messiah, and don’t believe in Satan, and don’t believe in hell? He then became irritated and told me to stop asking him stupid questions.

I believe that showing compassion towards everyone no matter what, is important! I believe that practicing true goodness without any expectations what so ever, is important! I believe that not judging anyone, is important. I believe that one should not need to put a price on everything, but instead, one should emphasize on the value of kindness towards those who can’t afford to pay for something, is important. I believe refraining from anger and ignorance is important. I believe that true forgiveness is important. This was the message Jesus preached. Yet, many Christians have lost this message, and when one talks about it, it’s foolish! For example, watch the comments that will be posted here on what I just wrote here.