2013 May

Thursday, May 16, 2013


The Coconut Telegraph

Anonyomous letters to the editor with pictures

The Original Unsocial Media

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[IKC] Does anyone out there in CT land know how to contact the Iguana Killers Club? I have 6 iguanas that have totally destroyed my once beautiful orchid tree and I want to have them executed. 

 I have a beautiful house for sale in Eden Pines. Please watch this Video. ~Nira Tocco

[Good News] State tourism officials said that more  people visited Florida in the first three  months of 2013 than any other quarter  in the state’s history.

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A pyroclastic flow (also known scientifically as a pyroclastic density current) is a fast-moving current of hot gas and rock, reaches speeds moving away from a volcano of up to 700 km/h (450 mph).The gas can reach temperatures of about 1,830°F.

Jet skis are horrible for the flats. I recall Rick Ruoff telling me of a time he was fishing himself on an outside flat maybe 3 feet deep near Bud n’ Mary’s, and as he was sneaking up on a school of bonefish, a guy came roaring past him on a jet ski. Rick said he poled his skiff into a hole in the flat, near the edge, and jumped the boat onto a plane, trimmed his motor up, and took out after the jet skier, who had no clue he was being chased until something caused him to turn and see Rick in hot pursuit maybe 20 yards behind. the jet skier freaked out, turned out, stalled out, probably fell off the jet ski. Rick eased back around and had a prayer meeting with Jesus with the fellow, which converted the fellow to a firm belief that he’d better well not do anything like that again, at least not to Rick.


[Keep Crane Point hammock natural] Crane Point Hammock is too small, fragile, rare and precious to support a zip-line tourist attraction. Visitors who seek a quiet, beautiful refuge – as well as the wildlife and the landscape itself – would be affected negatively by the noisy, intrusive activity of zip lining, which the board describes as “the thrilling experience of flying along a cable.” All riders scream as they zip along. So much for serenity. Link


[Insurance] I feel bad for the person who bought a ground level home in Key Largo, only to find out that his pre-FIRM FEMA insurance rates will make it impossible for him to live there. As a point of clarification, does the insurance apply only to ground level homes? A home on stilts would certainly be at lower risk of flooding, compared to a ground level home. Perhaps this is the reason for the higher rates for ground level?

an_cheerleader6The Miami Dolphin cheerleaders sent the US Troops in Afghanistan A music video and they sent one back mimicking them almost to Perfection. So cool! Soldiers win hands down! Video

[“Guns,I pre-suppose that one cannot have a rational discussion about guns with the pro-gun faction because they are a bunch of irrational nuts”] Everyone in our country has the constitutional right to speak, just as you have spoken. When the bad guys come to your door and demand your money or your wife or daughter, are you going to call your pacifist buddy who doesn’t have a gun to talk them out of rape and murder, or would you prefer someone who is a little more practical and can solve your problem? Your wife and daughter will end up on the medical examiner’s cold slab, maybe you too.

The bad guy in my house is the one on the slab, wife and daughter are fine. Your choice. And it’s my constitutional right to bear arms that allows me to protect my family. Your choice to be a non-gun owner is your personal preference. When the rapers come for your wife and daughter, you throw spitballs at them. Our county would be speaking German or Japanese today if people like you were in charge a few decades back.

National Gardening Association. Plant finder & more, how-to Videos

an duel slowWe were driving past Coral Shores High School the other day when when noticed the sign out front was flashing, “Girls Tennis Undefeated in Duels”.

Now I am assuming they meant that the girls tennis team had not lost any dual meets this year.  But then again, maybe they have been very successful at taking ten paces, turning, and firing.

And we wonder why kids are coming out of public school are unprepared for jobs.   If the school itself can’t even figure out the correct word to use, what can we expect of the students?

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[Climate] A melt of ice on Greenland and Antarctica is likely to be less severe than expected this century, limiting sea level rise to a maximum of 69 cm (27 inches), an international study said on Tuesday. Link

Fanci Seafood will be closed on Sundays until August. Everyone have a great summer!


[Cashing in on your bodily fluids] If you had to pick a bodily fluid to cash in on what would it be? Video



[Beards] Dude does not shop at Walmart.

[Tesla on Edison] I always laugh when I read a quote from Edison about hard work- here is another quote from Tesla, who worked for him for a brief time: “If Edison had a needle to find in a haystack, he would proceed at once with the diligence of the bee to examine straw after straw until he found the object of his search. I was a sorry witness of such doings, knowing that a little theory and calculation would have saved him ninety per cent of his labor.”



Free or very cheap dial-up  ISPs in the Keys. Check your area by area code. Link 

[The Blue Paper] Key West the Newspaper.  The only investigative newspaper in the Keys. Link  
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Color video of 1927 London. Video

Thank you so much for supporting my friend who just bought his house and found out Fema was going to increase his Flood insurance by 800% after October as all Keys people will eventually pay if they have a mortgage. We all know it is a rip off because we haven’t had a flood in decades other than the tiny Wilma one in 2005.  We had 14 inches and nothing was covered. We need to get rid of people voting for this and realize when wind insurance goes up think about the fact that no wind damage has happened in the last decade but they still collected our windstorm insurance checks. What did they do with all that money?  Now they want more?

Justin Beiber, what a pussy! In 50 years Keith Richards has never passed-out or puked on stage. 


I’ll see you all at my intervention. 

[Salt] Just a couple of things about you and salt.  Your body doesn’t make salt and without salt you will die. Without the iodine in salt you will be sick.



Sarah Hoyt my kind of woman. “I’ll go down fighting” – if it comes to that, and I hope very much it doesn’t, I hope you do, and I hope I do.  It beats the way that most victims of over-reaching government went in the twentieth century: in the middle of the night, in silence and solitude, with a bullet to the back of the head, buried anonymously in mass graves.  But there’s a reason that happened, and a reason that’s more likely than brave lion going down in a blaze of glory in full view.   I’m not saying the last one can’t happen, but I know how to bet.  Yes, our being armed makes the bet more even, but what government does really well is violence and suppression of dissent.  It’s hard for individuals to even come close. Link

[Expensive poo-poo update ] District to mull refinancing of debt for sewer system. Link
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[Lying to God’s Representatives] I bet the people who lie to the Jehovah’s Witnesses also lie to get out of jury duty and lie on their taxes and lie about everything else. 

Dear House of Representatives, Who exactly are you representing?



[Pretzel bread] Consider the burnished dermis of pretzel bread, a hot dining trend in the burger world, but also a resurgence of artisan technique. While the innards of a sandwich naturally get the most attention, stacking them inside a strikingly contrasted pretzel bun doubles the pleasure. Link 

[“Where do the sea surface temps come from”] In support of the Earth Science Enterprise’s goals, NASA’s Earth Observing System (EOS) Aqua Satellite was launched from Vandenberg AFB, California on May 4, 2002 at 02:54:58 a.m. Pacific Daylight Time. The primary goal of Aqua, as the name implies, is to gather information about water in the Earth’s system. Equipped with six state-of-the-art instruments, Aqua will collect data on global precipitation, evaporation, and the cycling of water. This information will help scientists all over the world to better understand the Earth’s water cycle and determine if the water cycle is accelerating as a result of climate change.  The Advanced Microwave Scanning Radiometer – EOS (AMSR-E) is a one of the six sensors aboard Aqua. AMSR-E is passive microwave radiometer, modified from the Advanced Earth Observing Satellite-II (ADEOS-II) AMSR, designed and provided by JAXA (contractor: Mitsubishi Electric Corporation). It observes atmospheric, land, oceanic, and cryospheric parameters, including precipitation, sea surface temperatures, ice concentrations, snow water equivalent, surface wetness, wind speed, atmospheric cloud water, and water vapor. Link
[How Big?] The distance the angler holds out the fish he caught towards the camera is inversely proportional  to the size of that angler’s IQ.



Want to live in the Keys? Ok, get your check book out and start with taxes for you home, insurance for flood, insurance for wind, insurance for homeowners, interest on everything, all this for around twenty thousand a year. Happy? Or go buy a boat and enjoy living on the water for free.

[Guns] I find my Glock 19 mid size 9mm is perfect carry weapon. It’s light, very high capacity mags. You are always good to go with almost 40 rounds in 2 clips.
religion politics zone

That damn Obama. The stock market has only doubled on his watch!

[Influence] Is that any different than you conservatives choosing someone because FOX told you to?
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With all the smoke and mirrors, this administration’s cover-ups, and inadequate leadership, Obama is our problem!


Let’s hear it from the poor losers. Second thought, let’s not. We’ve heard far too much unfounded, selfish, vitriolic crap already, e.g. we are all rich, money talks, we knew we couldn’t get infrastructure (other than telephone). Alicia lives comfortably without a generator. If it is

cloudy and rainy three days staight, and she survives the heat, she wouldn’t have enought electricity to flush her toilet or wash her…feet.  Most naysayers live with full amenities, don’t know the structures and limitations from how they think a simplex solar water heater works (to which the don’t avail  themselves.) Grid electricity is the cleanest, safest for the environment, and most economical source of electricity. Be glad you have had it, without equivocation, and litigation and shut the f–k up.  

If you think you would like to try you hand at stand alone solar, that is incapable of a/c, and environmentally noxious, there are a couple of deadbeat creeps to whom you might make an offer.  Keep your offer low, and don’t believe a word they say.

for-sale lady an


[Cause and Effect] How long do you suppose it will take for the residents of NNK to start putting up for sale signs not that they’re getting juice?

Moments after recognizing itself as having jurisdiction over the decision, the state Public Service Commission on Tuesday voted unanimously to allow No Name Key property owners to have commercial electricity.

BOCC does right thing for County] Yesterday the BOCC acted in the best interest of the county taxpayers and the environment (good-bye generators, hello sewers) by voting to end that NNK legal battle, allowing for central sewers for Key Largo, and putting and end to the spending of county taxpayer money defending that undefendable ordinance.  

Kudos to the BOCC for doing the right thing.