2020 May

Friday, May 22, 2020

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

“I don’t know much about science, but I know what I like.”“I don’t know much about science, but I know what I like.”​


I love the pictures at top of the website except one — the cruise ship. They hit the 3 mile limit and dump their waste. If not they pump out at the dock, can they not get to deep deep waters to expel? I learned to dive back in the 70’s in the upper and lower Niagara River. Was hospitalized once for 8 days from diving in contaminated water after 3 consecutive days of rain. Storm drains as well as sanitary sewers were overwhelmed. These ships should be forced to change their operations. Ed, Keep up the great work. (Ed: All right, I removed all the cruise ships from the slide show and added another 50 slides to the mix. You should now be able to stare at it for over an hour without repeating — seeing as we don’t have anything else to do.)

[Watching You] My close friend who worked for IBM, and had many computer systems that he controlled, told me anything that is said, typed or drawn into a computer is automatically scanned, analyzed and stored in Super Computers in Utah. Every bit of information throughout the planet is read and stored. Everything!
It does not matter if it is a picture or in code, the big guys know all about it and you. Do you really think that TV in your living room if off? Your phone is private? And of all things your cell phone isn’t listening or watching? Of course they are. Did you get a flu shot and it felt like a lump? All those little red lights around your house on your devices? Ha. Sleep tight, somebody is watching.



[1896] President William McKinley declared war on Cuba after the battleship Main blew up in Havana Harbor. The torpedo boat USS Winslow based in Key West, forced three Spanish gunboats back into the harbor of Cardenas, Cuba. A Spanish gunship engaged the Winslow in a battle that lasted an hour and twenty minutes andxxdsd kicked the hell out of the Winslow. Two accompanying American warships put the Spanish gunboat out of action.  One American was killed in the battle. Ensign Worth Bagley had the dubious distinction of being the first naval officer killed in the Spanish–American War. Link



[Lions and Trainers In a Cage]  what could possibly go wrong? Video

[“Boating death off Little Palm”] This is very serious, and it takes a long time for an investigation when a death is involved. I know there is also an investigation up here in Stuart with two boating deaths. The guilty will be charged, it just takes awhile.


[Covid-19 Explained] I think I have figured out the Corona virus.  It can travel 6 feet but not 6 feet one inch.  It can live on all surfaces except on anything that comes in the mail from Amazon.  It does not live in Target, Wal-Mart, Home Depot, Lowe’s or Sam’s Club or any grocery store.  It is only deadly in bars, restaurants, small businesses or barber shops.  It can not get on or live on your food if you get the food to go.  So, now you know.  Take appropriate precautions.

[“Toll for tourists”] You guys need to get with the program. Here on Nantucket Island, locals pay one-third of the price of a car ferry ticket and we get a 40% discount on our real estate taxes. We know how to appreciate our visitors.


The BPK rats are using sani-wipes as blankets and masks as hammocks. People, please don’t throw either on the ground or leave them in your shopping cart.

Annie Glenn, widow of astronaut John Glenn, dies of covid-19 complications in Minnesota nursing home. Link



When parents start to crack during lockdown.

[Live From Daryl’s House] Let’s laugh and release some tension. Stay sane America. Video
[Georgia’s Giant Lizard Invaders] The tegu, a predatory South American lizard, poses a threat to quail, gopher tortoises, and more native Southern species—but there’s still hope of stopping the invasion. Link


“I don’t know much about science, but I know what I like.”

[Friday Joke] My wife was planning a road trip to visit her sister and had been looking at a map for quite some time.  She said, “I think I know which highway to take but I’m not sure how to get there.  How do I get to 165?” I said, “Diet and exercise.” That’s when the fight started.



[Coronoavirus Testing] Damn! I thought it was a nasal swab!

[Stimulus Scammers] Did a nursing home or assisted living facility take your stimulus check? Link


[Man With No Face] For the first six centuries after his death, the Buddha was never depicted in human form. He was only ever represented aniconically by a sacred synecdoche — his footprints, for example; or a parasol, an auspicious mark of kingship and spirituality; or the Wisdom Tree, also known as the Bodhi Tree, under which he gained enlightenment. How did the image of the Buddha enter the world of men? How does one give a human face to god, especially to he who was never meant to be a god nor ever said one word about god?

Why does my wife always wait until I’m at the opposite end of the house before asking me to, “Merm frner mernferr brnerfer!”
[Suicide] Unfortunately, some people get so stir crazy from being confined so they won’t catch covid-19 and possibly die, that they commit suicide. Why not just go out anyway, you probably won’t die, but you definitely will if you fire a gun into your head. Take a chance and go out, nothing to lose and a lot to probably win over suicide.



[Toll to the Keys] They can’t put a toll there because US1 is a federally controlled Department of Defense road. It is against federal law to charge for a road that everyone in the country paid for with their taxes. I think.

[Don’t Open the Keys] Let the tourists back in with their billions of dollars. Then open the local undertakers and sell stock in those businesses. Open the shops to start with and allow the virus to propagate to the fullest. Yeah, open the Keys again and kill us all.


Growing your own tomatoes is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

[Conspiracy] The tourist industry in the Keys wants to open everything so they can make their 2.6 billion of tourist money. This will kill off the locals and make development of the N.W.O. for the Keys and turn these islands into the new Israel just like Boca Raton and the rest of Florida.
I think we should blow the bridges from MM 120 down to Big Pine Key and shoot any incoming Miami Boats on their way down!



[The Lady of Fatima] On this day in 1917 three shepherd children reported seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary near Fatima, Portugal; it was the first ‘ of six such apparitions that the children claimed to have witnessed. In other religious news, on this same date in 1981, Pope John Paul II was shot and seriously wounded in St. Peter’s Square by Turkish assailant Mehmet Ali Agca.

[Conspiracy] I bet the Federal Government is having a field day recording what the sheep are doing in this crisis so they can make plans for the survivors and other rich bastards!
The governor of Nevada said in an interview with ABC News Wednesday that Nevada’s coronavirus cases and deaths have reached a plateau but he has to “extend the stay at home order a little bit” in order to see the numbers drop. Link



Watermelons are mostly water — about 92 percent — but this refreshing fruit is soaked with nutrients. Each juicy bite has significant levels of vitamins A, B6 and C, lots of lycopene, antioxidants and amino acids. Link

[Monday Night Quarterbacking] I’m glad I’m not the one to open or close the Keys. What a big decision. It’ll be easy to look back and see all the options missed and lay the blame. Too bad.
[Deer Ed] Please limit Bill Berit’s negative comments to two per issue.  The CT would be much improved.  Thank you. (Oh dear, I’m slipping. I had him automatically sent to the Junk folder, but some of his gloom gets through; he also uses aliases. He was the infamous “Captain Doom and Gloom” at the end of the CT until I X’d all his posts. Now when you see Captain Doom and Gloom it’s one of the many other negative posters. I’ll be more astute in the future. The constant barrage of negativity and fake news are the only things that gets to me when publishing the Coconut Telegraph. Some days they just flood in. I don’t post them, but I still have to read them and that’s a downer if there ever was one. Ironically, I met him once and he was a real nice guy.)
[Friday Joke] My wife had been looking in the mirror for a while.  She turned and asked me, “Do you think my chin is fat?” I said, “Which one?”. That’s when the fight started.
[Key West to Reopen] Which super store on Duval Street is having the body bag sale this weekend.