2018 November

Friday, November 16, 2018

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

Most folks don’t know hospitality workers miss most holidays with family & friends. That’s just part of the job. We, who are in the business, gave up traditional dates and times long ago. It’s just the way it is if you’re a pro.
Coconuts gives a shout out to our hospitality workers. Most folks have not a clue about hospitality workers, who they are, and what they do. Well, here in the Keys, from the time you park your car, if you park your car or disembark your aircraft, or tie up to the dock, are being taken care of by a hospitality worker. Without them, the Keys would be very, very different. Just think about it for a few minutes. From your bartender to your waiter to the kitchen help to ticket agent, dock master, bell hop, front desk, maid service, tour guides, gardeners, maintenance workers, late night clean up crews, wedding planners, florist, musicians, DJ’s, and the sound, light and stage people — they are here to manage all this and put out fires and are all working 24/7. We are around the clock a “sleepy” little chain of Islands. Most of our guest don’t understand or even think about what is taking place, they shouldn’t have to. They are on vacation, or on a long weekend, or on their honeymoons. The job of our hospitality workers is to make it happen. For the most part, the word no is an inappropriate answer to our guests. We use terms like, “let me check on that” or “I’m sure we can work something out” or, “Give us a few minutes and we will see what can be done”. For the biggest part, when the bitching, whining and joking is done, we are pros–we get the job done. 

What turned my thoughts to our industry is the the holidays. Thanksgiving is just around the corner. We at Coconuts, with the help of our Coconut Family, will put out a Thanksgiving Feast. As we have done this for the last 35 years. Stop by if you’re out and about. Have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving.   ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, down town Big Pine Key

[The Movies] How come in drama movies lately, every time a man removes his shirt, he has a back full of scars or burns?
[Generosity] The management and staff at the Big Pine Key Winn-Dixie would like to thank the community for the generous donations they made over the past 12 days to the Folds Of Honor program that benefits the dependents of our US service members that have been injured in the line of duty.  All totaled, the store raised over $6500.00.  One Hundred percent of which will go to the charity.  In addition to the donations made by customers, we would like to thank the vendors who donated items for raffles and for our cook outs.  Coca-Cola, Budweiser, Miller, Frito Lay, Panama Jack, and Pepsi all stepped up huge for us. Several of the store team associates also went above and beyond to make our event a success. Special thanks to The Moose Lodge that donated $500.00 and to Moose member Artie Pontecurvo who cooked the fantastic North Carolina Style pulled pork Barbecue that we sold over the weekend.  The dollar amount raised was far and above any other store in Winn-Dixie.  So as always:  WE ARE PROUD TO BE BIG PINE KEY! Link
Here in America we think all Muslims are terrorists. Once we leave America, we notice that there are one, point nine billion Muslims everywhere else and they are not terrorists. There are just a few terrorists and supporters out of the other 1.9 billion. We can’t just label all Muslims terrorists for the handful of those actually doing wrong. The rest are just as scared of terrorists as we are, except they are more likely to suffer an attack then we are.





You are invited to join us for the Night of Thanks Dinner.

[Friday Joke] An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.  She did this religiously and lived to the ripe old age of 103.  She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40-foot deep crater where the crematorium used to be.
[Censoring] How Facebook’s leaders fought through crisis: delay, deny and deflect. Link
The St. Columba Christmas Bazaar will be held December 1, 2018 in Marathon. Video




Turkeys fight back.

Las Vegas magician Mac King has a trick that’s so notoriously difficult to figure out, even Penn and Teller have admitted they have no clue how he does it. Put this into the category of “what the heck just happened”. Video




[Vote Recount] I can’t believe my grandparents voted Democrat this year in Ft. Lauderdale. They never would have done that when they were alive.

[Prince Charles’ 70th Birthday] I thought he was 70  twenty years ago. Link
[Friday Joke] One evening at an investment meeting, Tom spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.Her natural beauty took his breath away. Tom knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died, “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.” Impressed, the woman obtained his business card. Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.


I had a bad molar and had to have a crown added. Then the molar got infected. I had to get a root canal and a temporary filling. Now I have to get a new filling or a totally new crown. The original molar was $2100, the root canal was $1400, should I have to pay for the root canal and the new crown? Why? My butt hurts!

[“No representation”] I wrote that piece and it appears with your election tally that the residents of District 2 got what they deserved – no representation. Just a schlock from marathon whose god is tourism, tourism, and more tourism. And as a reminder, all that one cent infrastructure sales tax will be spent enriching the number one Marathon’s tourist attraction the old 7 Mile Bridge.


[Marine Corps’ 243rd Birthday Magnificence] I can’t thank you enough for the beautiful Ad you published on behalf of the Marine Corps Birthday Celebration. I credit your ad with drawing several hundred respectful revelers, over the course of an evening, to an unfamiliar location and venue for said event. It was a groundbreaking ceremony held at a different place and in a newly refurbished Upper Keys VFW Post 10211. Standing room only crowds packed the entire VFW facility, which also contained our brand new restaurant, Arthur’s Island Kitchen, located right in front of the post on US1. By far, this was the most inspiring and professionally arranged service we’ve ever had. Arthur’s Island Kitchen staff rose to the top on that night, providing everyone with deliciously and sumptuous prepared meals, which melted in your mouth. We thank you ever so much.

What happened to the evil caravan now that the election is over?
[Full Moon Kayak Excursion] Florida Keys Wildlife Society (FAVOR) announces new Full Moon Kayak Excursion schedule. Starting Tuesday, November 20th, and continuing monthly through June 2019, this fun, easy going paddle along the mangrove shoreline of No Name Key gives you the opportunity to watch the sun set in the west as the full moon rises in the east.Sponsored by Big Pine Kayak Excursions, proceeds local wildlife through the Florida Keys Wildlife Society, the official friends group for the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges. The $25 donation includes kayak, gear and experienced guide. Please call Captain Bill 305 872 7474 for reservations. Plan to bring a flashlight, drinking water, and arrive 1/2 hour before launch time.

If you’re interested in volunteering, please call Nancy 305-731-6362.

To judge others by their race, religion, deeds, and ideals is the only way to defend yourself against the unknown future these people might commit. Anyone who dances through wonderland in a fog, deserves what happens to them. Be on guard all the time!

[Key West Film Festival 2018] We’re off to a great start with the critically acclaimed ROMA that screened last night to a full house at San Carlos Institute!  The movie from Oscar winning Director Alfonso Cuaron was emotional, powerful, beautifully shot, and technically impressive.  A great crowd followed to Audubon House & Tropical Gardens to enjoy the property, savor some custom drinks from Key West First Rum Distillery, and have plenty of film conversation! Next Up is Chef Flynn Sunday November 8. Link

[Friday Joke] A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been out for weeks now.” He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the lights now?  Does it look like I have ‘GE’ written on my forehead?  I don’t think so.” She goes on and on about other chores.

He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife,and decides to go home. As he walks up to the house he notices that the steps are already fixed.  As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. as he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. “Honey,” he asks, “how’d all this get fixed?”

She says, “Well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake him a cake.”

The husband says, “So what kind of cake did you bake?”

She replies, “Hellooooo… do you see ‘Betty Crocker’ written on my forehead?”


MISSING: A caravan.
LAST SEEN: The day before Election Day.
DETAILS: It was everywhere, a national threat cited by the state run media of the United States. The military was to meet it at the Texas border. I turned around to vote – and haven’t heard about it since

[See Your Real Self] People look into a mirror and see what they want to see, but if they took their cell phone and took their pictures from all angles then the reality of who they are and what others see just might register, if not then they need help.
[Sweet] More scary news out about sucralose, the insecticide turned artificial sweetener in Splenda. Sure, it’s approved by FDA. I think it just takes a payoff to the right person to get anything at all approved. Weight gain is associated with all artificial sweeteners including sucralose. Dr. Axe recommends natural sweetener Stevia instead, and others. Link
[“Gun insensitivity”] You made your point, but please understand we the people will defend ourselves one way or another so trying to rid guns is not going to do any good. The bad guys will always have weapons. Ask anyone in Australia, the EU, or Africa, etc. Only the sheep want disarmament.
Key West Orchid society newsletter. Full Menu > Ongoing Events



Why so superheroes all wear tights. Are they closet cases? I know superman did the dirty in a phone booth.

[Getting A Buzz] I have lived in the Keys for 35 years and have saved a fortune by becoming an alcoholic an only needing one shot to get smashed. Thanks Florida Keys! I love these islands.