2018 November

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.


[Trolls] Trolls started fake news shortly after the internet became popular and they still had chat rooms. The trolls would ruin any discussion they chose, simply to be ass holes. The fake news really took off when social media took off. Now fake news is supplied by professionals intent on disguising the truth. (Ed: I remember one troll from years ago who sent in convincing posts that they were going to build a golf course on Big Pine. I later met him and asked why. He said just for fun.)

[“1.9 billion Muslims”] In regard to the posting of Muslims and terrorism most of the statistics are incorrect. The following is average in its simplicity, that is, taking the high and low from alleged “true” sources that generally agreed to be within the bounds of accuracy and dividing by two. The population of followers of the Muslim religion is 1.5 billion or 22% of the world’s population. The number of terrorism supporters range from a low of 7% and a high of 16%. The number is dispersed so widely because it is composed between actual terrorists and those that are merely supporters but not actively engaged in the violence. Curiously, after 9/11 these numbers are still similar. Taking the lower of 7% that is 100,000,000 or folks who would potentially feel better if non-Muslims were not around. Given how their relations with other factions of their faith treat each other–that is a scary future.


[Bomb Making] In my time I’ve seen two different guys who had homemade bombs blow up in their hands and both had two different colors of skin on their hands. They were both lucky they still had hands.This was all before terrorism and the foolish boys were just having fun blowing up stuff. We used to blow up frogs with cherry bombs. That was fun too. What jerks kids are.

[The Bird] It seems everyone is into Thanksgiving this year. Everywhere I go people give me the bird!
[Advertising] Deer Ed, Is there a way to advertise for home care help on this site or do you have any other ideas for doing so? (Ed: If you’re looking for work you can just write in what you want to say and I’ll post it on the next garbage day’s CT. Work wanted and help wanted ads are free. For other advertising go to Full Menu > Advertising. Thanks for thinking of us.)


If the Pilgrims had given the Indians a donkey, instead of a turkey, we would all be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving!

How an artist peals a tangerine. Video
[Marathon’s Winn Dixie] A neighbor just talked to a contractor working at Marathon’s Winn Dixie. They just got permitting this week & he said they’re 4 months away from re-opening. They were originally scheduled to complete by Thanksgiving, then December 1st. Now they said it’ll be well after the new year.



Roy Clark the famous country guitar play died today after 85 years. Watch an early clip of Clark playing “12th Street Rag” Video

[“Sweet”] I was using Stevia but I switched to Agave because my wife said to. If anyone finds out why Agave please let me know. She said it was because of it’s low glycemic something or other.
[Mary Jane] There are now ten states that let you smoke pot for fun.


[Socialism Bad] Our kids & their families, our grand kids. They are why I’m so intensely opposed to Socialism. It has become so in vogue these days, so hip, so off the chain. So chic, contemporary, cool, fashionable, but now it’s not. If you feel differently you have been drinking the Kool Aid. Please watch this video. This is not taught in our schools, most of America’s truth is no longer taught in our school system, it has been tainted with a large dose of, you guessed it, Socialism! Video

[Kid’s Got Talent] Judges can’t believe this little girl’s voice. Video
[“Gun control“] Only the sheep want disarmament. Only a small segment of our population wants disarmament; and that will never happen. What we do want is gun control; and that will take a few generations to happen. No one wants to take your hand gun or long gun. Stop going to websites that say that stuff.
This year, after damage from Irma, the Lower Keys Rotary have partnered with the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce and made a substantial investment in new lights and we are adding Holiday Banners for better viewing during the day. Volunteers from our Club and the Chamber handle the maintenance of the ornaments, cover the costs for electricity, and work with Keys Energy to get them put up and taken down.

We are offering our local businesses and neighbors the opportunity to help the Lower Keys shine by sponsoring these cheerful ornaments/banners on a first come first served basis.   You may sponsor as many lighted ornaments as you wish at just $150.00 each.  Each ornament will have a two-sided banner with your name.  In addition, you will be recognized as a supporter of our organization in the “Thank You” display in the News Barometer and our Facebook page.  The ornaments are up for a full six weeks, giving our sponsors considerable recognition.

If sponsorship is not a possibility at this time, we welcome any donation you can make to help us in maintaining this beautiful tradition.  100% of the funds collected will be used for the benefit of these lighted ornaments and banners.

Attached please find the sponsorship form. For additional information, please contact Rotary by replying to this email.  Thanks in advance for your help in making the Lower Keys shine! Sponsor Form 2018

[Non-Stop To Key West] I can finally share good news with CT readers: New Yorkers will be able to fly to and from Key West without a stop in Atlanta next year. Starting March 9, Delta will offer nonstop service on Saturdays between New York’s LaGuardia Airport and Key West.




Roy Clark, the legendary’ superpicker’, Grammy, CMA, ACM award winner, Country Music Hall of Fameer and Grand Ole Opry member and co-host of the famed ‘Hee Haw’ television series, died today at the age of 85 due to complications from pneumonia at home in Tulsa, Okla. Video

[Doomed Boat] Don’t worry, our competent and highly professional staff will take care of your boat. Video
[Two Bedroom Duplex on Canal] Big Pine Key. 2 bedrooms. One bath. Unfurnished ½ Duplex on clean boating canal w/seawall going to Pine Channel and coral reef. Beautiful vaulted ceilings. 1500 square feet. Tiled floors throughout. Stainless steel stove & refrigerator, laundry room. Very clean. Central A/C. Ground level. Port Pine Heights subdivision. Quiet neighborhood. No smokers or dogs. $1800 a month. Available now. First $1800, last $1800 and $1000 security deposit ($4600 total to move in) Utilities not included. Link
[“Florida ballot counting”] Mega Millions sold millions more chances to win than there are registered voters in the U.S. Mega Millions knew exactly how many tickets were sold.  They knew where each ticket originated.  They knew where the winning ticket was sold. Why don’t we have Mega Millions collect our votes in future elections?  No recounts needed.  Exact results instantly.




What with the bat’s nose? Is this another of Nature’s screw ups like the too big avocado seed and that monkey with the big red ass?

[Loves His Pony] Florida man admits having sex with miniature horse, cops say. But he played it safe. Link


[Giant Worm] Giant glowing worm roams the ocean. These aren’t actually worms, though. They’re pyrosomes. Pyrosomes are free-floating tunicates typically found in tropical ocean waters near the top of the water column. Video

[Monsters] I was always afraid of the monsters under my bed grabbing my arm if I hung it over the side. Sometimes I imagined a big colorful boa constrictor under there too. I saw a movie where the kid was afraid of the monster in the closet taking him away. That’s a lot worse than snakes and monsters grabbing my arm. I guess I was lucky.



[Rat Race] Aren’t you glad you are here and they are there! The only tie I own is a bright green one that I wear over my t-shirt on Saint Patrick’s day.

[Cooking a Hog in 1789 Pitcairn Island] Mainmast’s (Christian’s wife) first act was to kindle a large fire, into which she put a number of goodly-sized and rounded stones. While these were heating, she dug a large hole in the ground with a broken shovel, which was the only implement of husbandry possessed at that time by the community. This hole was the oven. The bottom of it she covered with fresh plantain leaves. The stones having been heated, were spread over the bottom of the hole and then covered with leaves. On this hotbed the carcass of the pig was placed, and another layer of leaves spread over it. Some more hot stones were placed above that, over which green leaves were strewn in bunches, and, finally, the whole was covered up with earth and rubbish piled up so as to keep in the heat. This would roast all day and be ready for supper. While Mrs McCoy prepared some yams and sweet potatoes for baking, Mrs Young compounded a cake of yams and plantains, beaten up, to be baked in leaves. Mainmast also roasted some breadfruit.
[Could Not Stand Key West] Guests from Boca left early because they said they could not stand Key West any longer. It seems the town has changed so much that all partying and good times are gone, replaced by ugly old people, mean cops, and obnoxious prices.
[English is Confusing] When I get a text notification the screen reads: “Reply, Read, Delete”. Does Read mean read it or that I read it? I’m glad I don’t have to try to explain English word meanings to a foreigner. So many of our words have two, three, and even four meanings