2012 November

Friday, November 2, 2012

 (The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays – Saturday, November 3, 2012)

[Observation on Jewfish] I am a nephew of a long time resident of Big Pine. (Doctors Arm, since 1960) I have been diving and fishing around the Old Wooden Bridge area since 1972. My family has been very active in the recreational fishing community for generations. We have watched the recent proliferation of Goliath Grouper over the years and we all agree that saving the species was a great win for everyone in Florida.

But, now the time has come to review the current Goliath Grouper (GG) protocol. I have been diving and fishing / monitoring the channel behind our home and have noticed that our snapper, stone crab and lobster population has declined dramatically over the past few years. I believe that this is directly related to the recent increase in the GG population.

I decided to dig a little deeper and research this situation further myself, (against my father and uncle’s advice) and I have found that every single specimen collected had a full stomach of crabs, lobsters and snappers. I have actually found a live Stone Crab last week (which I released!)

I believe the time has come to begin a regulated recreational catch of this species to slow the obvious detrimental issues that this species is now having on our fish  and crab populations throughout the keys.

Please spread the word, we need to address the jewfish issue. Isn’t it bad enough that some species we cannot control like Sea Turkeys and Lionfish are decimating our desirable species? We need to act now and start catching and eating these GG before there the only fish left. 

Did anyone else hear that Dollar Tree is going into Daffy Doug’s old location in Marathon?



Another great Halloween put on by Eden Pines ,The Haunted Woods gets better each year Thank You Again Eden Pines

The referendum is not raising the sales tax. It is extending it to 2033 instead of just to 2018. I for one would like to have the tourists and snowbirds help pay for the sewers.



Voting is an important Constitutional Right. You can vote early in Big Pine Key at the Public Library at 213 Key Deer Blvd. and avoid the rush. Early voting will continue through this coming Saturday, November 3rd from 7AM until 7PM. Early vote in other locations at the Supervisor of Elections offices, in Key West, 530 Whitehead St. Suite 101 and in Marathon, 490 63rd St. Ocean, Suite 103.

[Missing Deadly Crash] Quite a few details were published in the Keynoter from Wednesday, Oct. 31st. Marlin Joyce Gunter, 51 apparently died at the scene at MM29. She was a passenger on a Harley, driven by Thomas Bateman, 51, of Marathon. “They were reportedly rear-ended by a 1993 Chevrolet driven by Big Pine resident Eric McHenry which pushed the motorcycle into the rear of a 1990 Jeep, driven by Tavernier resident Dean McGinnis.” According to the Keynoter report, Mr. McGinnis was in an induced coma at Jackson Memorial Hospitalin Miami. Where’s the “cover up”?

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[Big Foot Fawn] Unless I miss my guess (guess being a disclaimer), Big Foot, the tiny fawn that doesn’t grow, has experienced a trauma, fever, severe stress, or less likely, has overeaten. The disease is called Laminitus, or Floundering. Unless it is treated quickly, with the hooves immersed in cold or cool water, the hooves will be forever damaged as pictured. I have seen the effects of foundering in horses. A sad and permanent affliction. Link

I can not believe the admin at MCSO hired this loser Vince Weiner as a officer. How much are we spending on the convicted crook. I bet every defense attorney loves it when he is the officer on the case because he is a proven liar. Very poor judgment by MCSO Admin, but then what do we expect given what we have running the place. Link

[Uncompassionate CT’ers] Before I even began to read the CT this morning I was infuriated with the first post, and as I scrolled I saw another post making fun of Hurricane Sandy that also infuriated me. Why do these people think it’s funny to make fun of a dire situation in the north? It is tasteless, uncompassionate, and down right (for lack of a better word) stupid. Evidently these people were not here for Georges or Wilma. Come on….have some compassion for all the people who lost everything! If these people were walking in the shoes of all the people up north, it wouldn’t be funny. Come on CT readers, surely you were appalled at these posts also.


I predict the new iPad Mini is going to be Apple’s first flop since Steve Jobs left. If your iPad is too big and your iPhone is too small, you need to seriously re-evaluate your priorities. The Mini is too big to hold in one hand, won’t fit in your pocket, and is too expensive to compete with the other handheld tablets–almost twice the cost of the Kindle Fire. The Mini will totally change the way you think about completely unnecessary devices. You can get it in white, that’s cool.

Who was Flipper Eddy?

[Sheriff’s Daughter Gets Letter in File] Seriously, are you telling me this girl can steal a sandwich from the store and money from Home Depot and she gets addiction therapy and an expunged record — again? What she needs is a parent that should have spent more time turning her over their knee. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. After all she nearly stole Winn Dixie blind as a child and used her dad’s police radio to alert her friends of the cops while they were doing B&E’s, why punish her now. Of course they wouldn’t give anyone else this royal treatment, geez. Link


[Locals] Did anyone mention Sunday morning breakfast at Island Jims? Sunday morning pancakes were the biggest and best covered with hot apples. 

[Foreign Aid] Lets see how many countries rush to our aid in helping with the devastation Sandy left behind. Any country that hasn’t stepped up in either financial or humanitarian aid sound never see another penny from the United States. Can we add this to the amendments that we want changed this year. 


[South Carolina Hacked] Well our illustrious Gov. Nikki Haley, has come up with a plan to encrypt the tax records of the last 3 people in the state who didn’t get hacked. And if you want to see a politician go down in flames, follow this story.

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[Weather Forecasting] Perhaps this is how it is done. It’s late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’ ‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,’ the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?’ ‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘it’s going to be a very cold winter.’ The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. ‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’ ‘Absolutely,’ the man replied. ‘It’s looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we’ve ever seen.’ ‘How can you be so sure?’ the chief asked. The weatherman replied, ‘The Indians are collecting bunches and bunches of firewood!’

[Boating Skills & Seamanship Program] Coast Guard Auxiliary Flotilla 13-03, Big Pine Key, is offering a Boating Skills and Seamanship class beginning November 26.  It is a three week program, scheduled Mondays and Wednesdays from 7:00 to 9:30 PM.  It will be held at the Habitat forHumanityBuildingin the second floor conference room.  The Habitat building is on Big Pine Key, 30320 Overseas Highway, mile marker 30.5,oceanside. 

Topics will include nautical highway signs, rules of the road, navigation, course charting, boat handling, equipment, radio procedures and other safe boating skills.  This is an approved boating safety program which qualifies students, successfully completing the course, to receive the Florida Boating Safety Education ID card.  The cost of the program is $55 per person, materials included, and $80 per couple with shared materials. 

For more information Bulletin Board

[UFO] I am not going to say that the dude on BPK did not see anything in the sky at 3 AM, but I would like to know why he is the only person telling of something 150-225 ft wide when others were sky watching at the same time.


[Gas Line] After the storm in Jersey, the thin veneer of civilization cracks open at your local gas station.

[Feral Cats] It’s hard to believe that in this day and age, with all of the information available to us, that there exists an organized group of delusional people openly aiding and abetting the feral cat population, even asking for donations to further their endeavors.

Political advertisement paid for and approved by Rick Ramsay Republican for Sheriff

“Panel hearing found cause in Weiner case.” ~Key West Citizen – Thursday, November 1, 2012
“A state police commission decided Wednesday there is enough evidence to move forward with a disciplinary hearing against a former Florida Keys top cop in danger of losing his law enforcement…”

Is this what we spend money on inMonroeCounty? Why did MCSO Admin hire him. He is a proven liar and a thief. What kind of leadership is this?

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Brain trust. Green Parrot Halloween

The Windows 8 post is not what is happening in the real world. Desktops will always be here because you cannot do graphics, engineering, or industrial things on iPads or cell phones. Windows Vista is being fazed out very slowly. W7 is more stable than Vista, but lacks all the goodies we are used to, to get work done. Right now W8 is a toy for handhelds, and will not be good for anything until new software is available to do what desktops have to do. That will be some time in the future. Windows XP is still the mainstay in most large companies that use Windows, but most use other high end industrial grade operating system much more advanced than Windows.  Intel still makes chips for everything, PC’s, Apples, servers and mainframes.




Bowline knot for all you wannabe boaters. That and the square knot are the two handiest knots you can know how to tie.

[OS Support] Unlike Apple, Microsoft continues to support old operating systems. I think it’s for about 10 years.

I wonder what impact Sandy will have on the winter migration of New Jersey bovines? I hope there will be less of them coming down here, but as any rancher knows it is difficult to stop a stampede.  I would like to ask a question of the lower Keys community, and I don’t blame you for not answering, has anyone ever bedded one of these fine specimens of femininity? If so, how was it?


[Flu Shots]  The Big Pine Moose Lodge will host a flu shot clinic on Saturday, November 10 from 1 -3 pm.  The clinic is open to the public.  You do not need to be a member of the Moose Lodge to come in and get your flu shot.  Families are welcome.  Remember, the seasonal flu can put you in bed for a week.  Don’t let the FLU get YOU this season.  The cost of the vaccination is just $20 and is based on a sliding scale on your ability to pay.  Insurance is not required.  Say “NO” to the flu.  Stop by the Moose Lodge on Saturday, November 10 by and get vaccinated.

The Moose Lodge is located at21st StreetandWilder Rd.just north of the Winn-Dixie plaza. Bulletin Board

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I was a dish dog at the Baltimore Oyster House in 1967-1968 and remember the night that a drunken tourist was making fun of Captain Tony and Ray Hougland, a dive Captain of Marathon, for having pierced ears and earrings. I was commanded to get a new ice pick and a raw potato. And as you imagine the rest was history. 

Key West Preschool Co-op 2nd Annual Holiday Bazaar and Yard Sale on Dec 8th from 8-2pm. We would sure appreciate if you could help us get the word out!
More info Bulletin Board

Locals have a special place in their hearts for environmentalists.


[Big Pine UFO] The mysterious sighting of an object floating over Big Pine has been identified as a large gas cloud emitted by a flatulent Jersey woman after she devastated an all-you-can-eat buffet and two anchovy pizzas.  The noxious cloud was spotted as far southwest as Cay Sal Banks before dissipating.  No injuries or illness have been reported but fisherman report many dead frigate birds in the area.

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Shirley Q reports the day after Halloween. Shirley is a hoot and has become a fave! Audio

[Captain Doom and Gloom] Shades of Disneyland Well it is sure true that we here in the Keys needs all the monye these here inventions will bring into the Keys, for sure! Just think how may more trailers and transits its going to take to work these here abusements, and to clean up all the debris’s from their 20,000 car park lots? We even is building the new sewer system over size rat now to accommodates all the BS the thousands of touristias will leave here. When’s they started to built it, after the zap line or the Cubano ferry port?

Smells like 1937 all over again. Slant-eyes are slant-eyes no matter where they are. Ahh what the heck, we won’t be here for the fun and games by the time they get it going. We’ll miss all the fun!”Hokey Szechwan with Duck Souse”, eh?  They have Soylent Yellow, already I’m sure! Now that they are dropping the One Child Per Family, what more do you need to see an army building fodder?


 “1984” Camera surveillance all over Key West. Why not? everything else is monitored, censored, controlled and charged for. Your email, phones, TV, radio, mail, everything is “looked at” today. No, we are not in Russia….yet!




“Can I get FEMA help, free ice, or some free money.”  You can if you live in Miami. I would like to see how much those folks claim and get because of this storm. 

We all keep getting those Super Sale ads from all kinds of merchants in our email, but did you ever think how much profit they make when they offer something that sold for $100 SRP, then give you %75 off  and now is $25, then add free shipping. I always wonder how much they bought the item for in the first place, PENNIES? No wonder we all are going broke!  Greed sucks!

Does anyone else get headaches watching today’s extremely dumb TV commercials? Do you feel you have been brainwashed into a mindless moron and have to instantly go out and buy their products? The next advertising ploy will probably just order you to buy this and that then automatically ship it to your house, deduct the price from your electronically controlled bank account and recycle you if you do not like it. Amen!

We “Dined Out” last night and that will be the last time for a long while. I took one look are the prices on the menu and asked the waitress if they excepted mortgages. She looked at me and said, “No, Cash or Credit Cards ONLY!” The food markets are just as bad. When an apple costs more than a freaking full meal did a few years ago, it is time to do something about this food war we are in. Gardening anyone!? You can buy Seeds and Ammo online line now, but you better hurry before they run out or raise prices!

A divorced friend asked about those Online Match Making sites and wondered if he could meet someone that way. Sure I said, but wear a rubber, get your shots first and cross your nuts you do not catch anything. Then he realized he was as much a frustrated loser as they were. Back to happy hour for bar bimbos for him, at least he can see what he is buying!



If you have not yet signed the petition to Florida’s Attorney General Pam Bondi requesting she remove cannabis from Florida’s Schedule 1 of Controlled Substances please do it now. Link

2007 Evinrude E-TEC 175 hp (2), Standard rotation 25″ shaft. $4,500 each or $8,000 for the pair. Classified Ads

You are not a local. A local is anybody that lives here year around. Period! Forget the BS about newbie’s and temp’s, just go to happy hour and get a life!

[Good News Again] Job growth this quarter was all along the sector board!

Some facts are irrefutable.

It took Barack Obama 7 days to visit Joplin, Missouri after a tornado wiped out half of the town and killed 120 people.

It took him 14 days to visit the gulf coast after the BP oil spill.

He declined to visit Tennessee after the historic 2010, 1000 year floods.

He ignored the Texas wild fires when over 400 homes were lost.

He took 5 days to tour Isaac’s destruction.

And, of course, he ignored the calls for help from Benghazi where he allowed Americans to be murdered while he sat back and watched.

But it took Barack Obama only one day to visit the hurricane damage on the east coast.

Is something happening next week?

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[Right-Wing Lie] We have some very uninformed posters who believe every stupid right-wing blog and website that they read. The poster yesterday was wrong  when he quoted an old stupid blog that circulated around the Internet last summer. Doesn’t he know that anyone can write anything on the  Internet. It doesn’t mean it’s true. Even a 10 year old knows that.  He said he was going to base his vote on that lie! Let me straighten out the truth for him so that he can vote correctly.

He said that in the past 68 years there have only been 3 times when an American president has not visited Normandy on D-Day, and all 3 were President Obama! Lie! The truth is in the past 68 years, only 4 US presidents have visited Normandy on D-Day for a total of 6 times. Reagan, 1 time in his 8 years, 1984.Clinton, 1 time in 1994. George W. Bush, 2  times in his 8 years, 2004 and 2008. Obama, 1 time in 2009. Do not pay attention to all the stupid lies you read.

 Liberal idiot. Link

FTR‘s incoherent psychobabble about Obama pandering to women is totally true. Though I wouldn’t call it pandering I would call it connecting with female voters. If he is elected and the neocons can force their agenda they are going to get a conservative on the Supreme Court and have a majority to overturn Roe v. Wade. That probably doesn’t matter to him because he is the FTR guy. But to women it would be a major set back. It means everything. I don’t think I need to go into why it is important because we don’t need to go there. 

Vote for Obama because he
1. Is a draft dodger
2. Doesn’t believe that people built business or corporations.
3. Refuses to show his REAL birth certificate, school records, passport records or any other info he has spent millions to hide.
4. Doesn’t have an economic plan, and doesn’t know what one is.
5. Comes from the working crowd.
6. Doesn’t have an opinion.
7. Lies every time he opens his mouth, doesn’t know how to tell the truth.
8. Doesn’t know what social issues are.

During a recent Romney campaign stop, a heckler from the audience hollered, “Hey Mitt Witt, where are you hiding your tax returns? Governor Romney politely responded, “I’ve found a very secure place that I’m certain they won’t be found.” The insistent heckler, then shouted, “And just where is that, dummy”?  Governor Romney smiled and said, “They are underneath Obama’s college records, his immigration status as a student, and his funding sources to pay for college. What’s your next question?”

[Hussein] His parents should be locked up for picking a name so horrible it angers people just to see or hear it. So much so people will shun any content following it. Rest peacefully, people were lobbying to have all future text books use only Barack H. Obama so not to offend anyone. Bureaucrats were probably afraid students would see the “H” word & panic. Then assume they’d be reading the same old worn out right wing crap and leave the classroom in disgust.

It’s a crime bureaucrats & teachers spend more time on stuff like that then they do improving the education system so our kids and country can become what Americaused to be — the leaders.


Who controls America‘s educational system, the minds of her youth & the future of America? Maybe there’s some way to pass the blame off to that damn “Right Wing Republican Teachers Union” Old story, old news, still going downhill & we need to be reminded constantly. “Other Nations Outclass U.S. on Education” Math: Finland #1, United States #25, Science: Finland #1, America #21. Wait, rejoice we won this one. Amount of cash spent per student K through 12: United States #1: just over $129,000. All other countries: averaged $95,000. The United States ranks 20th on high school graduation rates list. Link

Walk proud Obama supporters. We do. Hold your nose when you vote for Romney Republicans. He’s your Liberal(?) and you still can’t figure out how he made it this far.

All the Right have to spin is the Benghazi disaster. Everyone else is looking up, while they look down.

Now that you have all finally caught on to Government budget deficit spending, the National debt, tax money, etc., you want  the Government to cut all that wasteful spending.  The only problem with that is that what you are really talking about is eliminating even more jobs.  That means taking more of the money that fuels the economy out of circulation, fewer taxes paid, more government money handed out to the unemployed.  How’s that going to help us?

 From the Right

The days dwindle down to a precious few. As you read this there are only 4 days until D Day. That’s Decision Day. As a nation we will have to decide that our current national situation is a norm that meets our needs and aspirations.  Certainly most of us can agree that our economy is in a horrible state. Our recession has been over since June/July of 2009. Shortly thereafter our economy began to steadily improve. That lasted for about a year. Then we began to backslide. We’ve been taking one step forward and then two steps back. Our rate of GDP growth is substantially less than it was in 2009. When you read this the latest BOLS employment report will be out. Almost certainly it will show that only about 150K more Americans were working than in September.  That number will not even keep up with our population growth. Nearly certainly the unemployment rate will increase.

Deer Friends, we must face it, this is the new norm desired by Team Obama.  We know this because Mr. Obama doggedly clings to his policies that have failed so miserably. He refuses to change any of his economic policies. It is those failed policies that choked off a nascent recovery and now will deliver more of the same that we have endured for the past 4 years. Team Obama dishonored the word “forward” when they chose it as their slogan. The word “stagnation” more suitably defines Obama.

Part 2) We all know that our nation’s economy is the single biggest problem facing us because unless we have a strong economy we can’t be the leader of the free world. But, we can’t ignore our existing foreign policy. So far, the most important claim of foreign policy success by Team Obama has been the death of UBL at the hands of Seal Team Six. Team Obama is flat wrong, UBL is dead, but  AQI thrives and metastasizes . Even their  Obama’s campaign slogans brag of UBL’s death.  They, by extension, urge you to believe that the threat of AQI and its jihadists confederates are no longer a threat to America and our interests. While it is true that UBL is dead, his organization, AQI, grows in stature and influence every day.  Under Obama a wave of AQI and other Muslim fundamentalist powers have seized control of most of the mid-east. The most recent and most striking evidence of that is the recent slaughter of American embassy personnel in Bengasi.

Certainly we all remember that the assault occurred on 9/11/12. We all remember that for the next 9-10 days Team Obama  demanded that you believe that it was nothing more than mob violence.  Now, every day, we learn more and more about the murders. Now we know that Team Obama had been warned repeatedly that there was dire danger of terrorist assault on the Consulate. We now know that Team Obama repeatedly refused to bolster the Consulate’s security, and in fact cut back on security.  Now we know that the reason for Obama’s refusal to protect our personnel was purely political. Mr. Obama and his sycophants, fearing the exposure of the growth of AQI, for weeks urged you to believe that there was no terrorism involved.  Even now they have steadfastly refused to answer questions about the murders.  We now know that Mr. Obama himself knew that the hours long assault was in  progress  while it was in progress and that it was a coordinated paramilitary assault,  not mob action. Now we know that an elite rescue team known as the  “Senior Counter Terrorism Group”  was cocked and locked and ready to intervene but Team Obama specifically refused to OK their deployment. We now know that Obama refused to deploy FEST Teams (Foreign Emergency Support Teams)  which is are rapid response teams made up of  CIA, State, and other asset first respnders. We now know that our forces were capable of having boots on the ground of the consulate about little more than an hour after the shooting began. We now know that Obama refused to intervene.  We now know that the reason that brave Americans died was because Obama refused to rescue them. We now know that he refused to rescue them because he feared that it would damage prove his claims of foreign policy success to be false.