Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
| [Corruption] FEMA awarded Islamorada nearly $4,000,000 for expense incurred by Irma. Big Pine got nothing. Islamorada got the largest award (according to 5 o’clock NPR news on Tues) because “Islamorada suffered the brunt from Irma.” Huh? I must have missed that when I was digging out my house on Big Pine. Is this one of those news stories that you only hear once because corrupt powers have it suppressed? Islamorada had no damage from Irma, never mind “the brunt from Irma”. |
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| I want to give a shout out to Pino’s Windows for excellent customer service. They installed a new sliding glass door for us about a year ago. It developed a leak when it rains. I called them they came out and completely removed the door and sealed everything and put it back in. Now that’s great service. Thank you Pino’s! |
[Cake Case] OK, number one: Why are these things so hard to open? And number two: Why are they so damn loud? The whole damn country knows I’m trying to sneak a piece of cake. |
| [Colorful Euphemisms For Sex] 400 of them! Stuffing the taco? Shrimpin’ the Barbie? Playing with the box the kid came in? Paddling up Coochie Creek? Hiding the bishop? Fishing for kippers? Driving Miss Daisy? Crashing the custard truck? Link |
[Funny Weatherman] Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. Video |
| “Mandalay Bay Hotel guilty of mass murder not the gun.” You gun nuts are deluded with your sophomoric arguments and analogies, never facing the fact that without the military weapon that mass murder would never have happened. |
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| [Marine Sanctuary] Last night, Greg Daniels spoke out against the FL Keys Marine Sanctuary’s plans to restrict local recreational boaters and fishermen from being on the water. Instead, they’re catering to special interest groups and offering “pay to play” to Fury Key West (“donations”, donchya know)—a company that drops thousands of tourists on the reef. The Sanctuary’s continued mantra of “Don’t worry, we didn’t mean that locals aren’t allowed on the sandbars or to fish”. Oh yes, you did, Sanctuary—because that’s exactly what your 500+ pages say—and you have refused to rewrite. The locals didn’t trust you 25+ years ago, we don’t trust you now, and we aren’t backing down. |
 [Friday Joke] “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?” “Yes, Father, it is.” “And who was the girl you were with?” “I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?” “I cannot say.” “Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?” “I’ll never tell.” “Was it Nina Capelli?” “I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.” “Was it Cathy Piriano?” “My lips are sealed.” “Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?” “Please, Father! I cannot tell you.” The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.” Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?” “Four months vacation and five good leads.” |
[CBD] Tests of CBD Products: Do they live up to the hype. Video |
| Holding onto anger, is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~The Buddha |
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| [Guns] We have a CT reader who believes that the Mandalay Bay Hotel in Vegas has no liability in the mass homicide that occurred on their grounds. The poster is convinced that the gun(s) that were the tool used were the actual killers.
If we follow that line of reasoning, we must believe that a firearm has the ability to form the intent to kill and then to aim at a victim, and then fire itself. If we are to follow that line of reasoning, we must believe that forks and spoons are responsible for obesity and the 300,000 to 400,00 deaths it causes each year. Roughly 10 times the number of firearm deaths. |
[Fire] My relation lives in LA in the Porter Ranch community that had the recent brush fire. He was evacuated when fireman failed to wake him because he lives alone and is deaf and is 88. He said they came around back and pounded on his bedroom window until they got his attention. I asked him how close the fire came and he sent me this photo of his back yard. |
| [“The gun killed people”] Since when can an inanimate object rent a hotel room and start killing people? By your logic if an incompetent surgeon leaves an instrument or sponge in a patient and that patient subsequently dies, their family shouldn’t necessarily just sue the doctor or hospital but the manufacturer of the misused instrument? What about a pilot who goes nuts and crashes a plane into the ground on purpose, killing everyone on board- the misused aircraft’s manufacturer should be sued? Did the aircraft take off on its own and intentionally kill people? Perhaps by the manufacturer’s secret design or intention? By your thinking the plane is at fault simply for existing and it’s manufacturer is reckless and culpable because their product could possibly be misused. Or do you literally think an inanimate object can miss-behave in this murderous way as your post suggests? And unfortunately, no you are not the only one who is as illogical as you. As to the hotel’s culpability, they allowed this creepy guy to keep bringing multiple, heavy appearing bags into the hotel and his room. A terrible, deadly, sad, and expensive security breach. |
[Private Water Line Through Wetlands] I investigated the end of Long Beach Rd to see if Little Palm had any new water and sewer infrastructure in. Yes and no. There is a relocated water service with two recently tested backflow preventers, but only one is connected. It feeds the same old unmarked, 2″ black HDPE plastic pipe weighted with concrete block collars through the swamp and Coupon Bight as before Irma. The pipe was never inspected and approved for potable water service to the resort and was not even built according to the plans submitted to DEP. I am still curious about the sewage disposal plan. I think it was estimated at 20,000 gallons per day, and the County was paid close to a half million in infrastructure fees to provide service from the end of Long Beach Rd. That pressurized raw sewer has the potential to do really serious harm if not very carefully engineered and built. Based on the hokey water service, I do not hold much hope for a good sewage solution. Is anybody but me watching this train wreck? |
| The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. ~Socrates |
Singing out in church is permissible and accepted as long as you don’t sing the old favorite, “She chased me all around the church and caught me by the organ.” |
| Enjoy your body to the fullest. It will eventually turn on you. Earn the pain. |
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| [Next Means Back] After years and years of reading down to the bottom of the CT and seeing the arrow to click for the last issue, I’m officially making the request to change the wording from NEXT to LAST. (Ed: I feel your pain. That drives me crazy too. I tried to change it for a long time. I even hired someone to do it for me, at one point, only to be told that it can’t be changed.) |
[“Free box”] When I lived in Cotati, CA there was an abandoned small shed without a door sitting on an overgrown lot that some hippies cleaned up and made into a nice free store. It was like a giant hippy boutique free box. The rednecks burnt it down. I don’t think it was because the idea of recycling (new at the time) offended them, but the idea of hippies did. So they did what humans always do when they don’t understand something – they destroyed it. |
| [“Las Vegas shooter”] Here we go again, the @$%^## gun did not kill anyone. It was the demonic, demented person who pulled the trigger. So they blamed the hotel that had to pay millions. We are in free fall to the end of times–pay attention. |
Would the person who talked about growing Key Lime plants from seed a few weeks ago in the CT please chime in with details on how? I tried planting some seeds a few weeks ago in loamy soil at 3/4 inch depth but, so far, nothing. |
| [MedicareRx Saver Plus] Understanding the coverage gap. “The Medicare Part D coverage gap is a stage of your drug coverage where you pay more for your prescriptions.” I’ll never understand the gap. I pay for insurance, but it only works sometimes? Sounds like another insurance rip-off too me. Partial insurance? We need universal healthcare more than ever. |
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| The Indian Government under British rule: 250,000 whites ruling 250 million Indians. A Government of that kind rested almost entirely on its morale and prestige. ~Churchill |
 [Marine Sanctuary] The Sanctuary hasn’t done anything to improve water quality or the reef. Both are worse than when they started. All they do is provide jobs for minor bureaucrats to have meetings to impose more regulations on the locals and at the same time encourage commercial dive boats to bring their hoards of coral-raping tourists. All the Sanctuary really does is have endless meetings that accomplish nothing. Instead of doing something to protect the water and reef they seem to have adapted the mantra, “Keep people out.” Many of us opposed the Sanctuary because we predicted this would happen. |
| [Spot Impostors] Scammers often pretend to be someone you trust, like a government official, a family member, a healthcare provider, or a company you do business with. Don’t send money or give out personal information in response to an unexpected request – whether it comes as a text, a phone call, an email, or a letter. Do online searches. Type a company or product name into your favorite search engine with words like “review,” “complaint” or “scam.” Or search for a phrase that describes your situation, like “Medicare call.” You can even search for phone numbers to see if other people have reported them as scams. |
Blues Brothers movie 1980 behind the scenes, |
| When you think about it, cars, planes, even trains, are just really fast chairs. |
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| [United Way of the Florida Keys] The full moon shone bright over the ocean in Islamorada on Sunday evening for Whale Harbor’s first Full Moon Party, benefiting United Way of the Florida Keys. The rooftop was filled with partygoers enjoying the view, beautiful weather, jazz music and the beach bonfire with fire jugglers. UWFK is grateful to Dennis Ward and Howard Brody for this fun event which, thanks to the generosity of guests, raised over $1,500 to support food, education and safety net programs for Keys residents. |
 [Save Our Languages] Pass this around so, just maybe, people will talk again instead of texting. Link |
| With all this Me Too going around, why don’t we hear about the happenings in prisons? Seems they are the places it always happens. |
Deer Ed getting down on the forth of July! |
| If you give a Muslim a cookie, he’ll complain that it isn’t Halal and demand that you provide one that is. If you give a Muslim a Halal cookie, he’ll demand that you give him a job so he can buy his own cookies. If you give a Muslim a job, he’ll demand you give him time out to pray. If you give a Muslim time out to pray, he’ll demand that you respect his prophet. |
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