Friday, October 23, 2020

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.



[Burnin’ Down The House] We wanted to let you know that the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges Complex staff and partners are planning a prescribed burn on Big Pine Key in National Key Deer Refuge during the first two weeks of November. Prescribed Fire Planned for NKDR Nov 2020

[Retail Increase] Have you noticed that since the virus the price of everything has gone up by a lot. I understand pricing, but 20% or more is gauging. A radio I bought last year for $34 now costs $48.35. YouTubeTV just went from $54.98 to $71.48. No reason given. I assume it’s gauging.
Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter flight for four people? We’re still looking for two more people to join us. We leave early Saturday from Opa Locka (Miami) executive airport and will fly to Key West where we will have breakfast and then on to a yacht for lunch. We will do a flight along the coast and return for dinner, then fly back home. If interested, please message me. Preferably somebody with a helicopter and a yacht, otherwise we can’t go
[Political Junk Mail] I wonder how much of the forest that was cut down to make paper for the multitude of useless political mailings ended up in the trash can. When I get my mail at the post office I go directly to the trash can in the lobby which is totally full of political advertising and deposit over 95% of the political trash without reading it.

[Rim Job
] Feds seize in Minneapolis 2,446 ‘unsafe’ tire rims imported from Thailand that would have posed a safety hazard if used on motorized vehicles. Border Patrol agents Inspected 20 pallets holding 2,446 rims. Monday after being alerted they lacked approval from National Highway Traffic and Safety Administration. It would be unsafe for anyone to use” the rims, because they “didn’t meet NHSTA requirements,” said Customs and Border Patrol spokesman Steve Bansbach. Bansbach declined to disclose where the seizure occurred in Minneapolis or identify  whose warehouse received the shipment, which his agency valued on the retail market at more than $47,500. Link



[For Sale] $100. Unopened box of cookware.

[Dry Scalp] The telltale sign of a dry scalp is persistent itchiness, but it may also be accompanied by dandruff, soreness, and hair loss. Dry scalp can have a number of different causes, though the most common is a reaction to the change in weather or a harsh ingredient in hair care products. Sometimes, something as simple as not drinking enough water or washing your hair daily can be the culprit, though medical conditions like eczema or psoriasis could also be the cause. Link


[Career Suicide by Zoom] New Yorker writer Jeffrey Toobin suspended masturbating during Zoom. Jeffrey Toobin exposed himself during a video call last week with staffers from the New Yorker magazine and WNYC. He has been suspended from the mag and taken a leave of absence from CNN. Link

[Movies] In the series Norseman a Viking woman cuts off the penis of a vanquished man and holds it in her fist. The damn thing is two inches longer that her fist! That’s from a dead man with no blood. Imagine what that thing would look like if it were alive!



This Halloween will be the first time I wore a mask since I was ten years old. I’m 64!

[Napoleon] “Always the sword in one hand and the olive branch in the other; always ready to negotiate, but only negotiating while advancing.” Here is Napoleon’s system. He had always pretended a love for peace, though he was overjoyed at the idea of continuing a war so successfully commenced.
[Crucifixion] Crassus crucified 6,000 followers of Spartacus for miles along the Appian Way. Vespasian was the Emperor and Marcus Crassus was in charge of the Roman Legions.  He was in charge because he was the richest man in Rome and had the most to lose from the slave revolt. But crucifying 6000 people takes a lot of trees. They say people took many, many days to die from just hanging around. They were tied to the crosses and not nailed. Then the crucifixes were lined up for miles on the main road leading to Rome, the Appian Way.  That’s a lot of people. To give you an idea how many there were, imagine Big Pine’s entire population of 5,032 crucified along US1 for miles.



[Rhonda Fleming Dead] The film star of ’40s and ’50s, dies at 97. Actress Rhonda Fleming, the fiery redhead who appeared with Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas, Charlton Heston, Ronald Reagan and other film stars of the 1940s and 1950s, has died. She was 97. Link

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the county has a total area of 3,738 square miles of which 26.3% is land and 73.7% is water. It is the largest county in Florida by total area. Although 87% of the county’s land area is on the mainland, that region is part of the Everglades and is virtually uninhabited, with only 17 people in total. Over 99% of the county’s population lives on the Florida Keys. Link



[Oh, No Department] After eons of watching the Road Runner making a fool out of Wiley Coyote. I came to find out the often portrayed cur is over twice as fast (40 mph), whereas the Road Runner’s flat out best barely exceeds 20 mph. So I guess that it’s sayonara to the Road Runner.

[?] You’ve been selected for the 2020 Best Big Pine Key Physical Therapy Award! For the next year you’ll be promoted on so anyone searching for a physical therapist in the Big Pine Key area will find you. There is only one winner in each city. You’ll also get a badge for your website, social media graphics, a certificate for the office, press release, and more. The next step is for you to claim the award here. Link
I read Konk Life for the last 500 years and then Key West Lou got into it with his communist leftist crap. Never again will I read that crap sheet.



[Stoner Thought Of The Day] Each time you light your lighter your lighter gets lighter until your lighter gets so light it won’t light.

[Useless Word of the Day] Chromesthesia: a type of synesthesia where people hear sounds as colors, shapes, and textures.