2019 October

Friday, October 25, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.



[Fire Next Week] If weather conditions permit, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service will be conducting a prescribed burn(s) on Big Pine Key next week.  Please see press release for details and specific staff to contact for more information. Prescribed Fires October 2019

HIRING ALL POSITIONS Isla Bella Beach Resort hiring all positions for season! Our brand new luxury resort in Marathon is looking for energetic individuals in all positions. Please visit:  to apply, or call 305-481-9451 for more information. Subsidized housing available (best in the Keys!)

The weatherman said l’d need an umbrella today. So I just added a cocktail.



[FantasyFarce] Six of us got rooms in Key West and stripped down for body painting. Wearing only flip-flops and paint we went out in the afternoon. In the parking lot we took really close looks at ourselves, the fat, the wrinkles, the old age, then turned around back to the rooms to wash off and dressed again. Some things should never be done when you’re over 50!

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, October 26, 10 am at the senior center.  Everyone welcome! Full Menu > Ongoing Events



[Friday Joke] 2 cashews took a walk into the woods and one was a salted.

[Something For Everyone] We have a Booker, a Hooker, & an Indian running for President. We are one Cowboy short of the Village People.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. ~Thomas Paine

This is why you don’t put LP gas in a gopher hole. Video



[New Recipe] Pad Thai. Recipes > Main Dishes > Pad Thai

[Friday Joke] My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back…




Just how much is a shiltoad?

[Crooks] You may get called by a telemarketer or approached by a salesman at a community event, like a fair or a farmer’s market. They’ll tell you that you qualify for free genetic testing through Medicare. Maybe they’ll take a swab from your cheek right there; or have you send one in the free mailer they’ll give you. The cheek swab goes right in the trash because there is no free testing program. This is a scam to get your Medicare information. Once you give the thieves your Medicare info – which they say they need to submit your claim – they can sell it over and over again. Or they can use it as a platform to steal your identity and ruin you financially.

This scam might sound a little familiar because telemarketers used to promise you a free knee brace or back brace through Medicare. All you had to do was give them your Medicare ID number. Most people have caught on to the phony brace scam by now. This new version of the scam is working because there’s so much interest in genetic testing right now.

[“Virginia Class Submarine’] The Navy is trying something different. They are using as many off-the-shelf parts as they can. There are only two shipyards capable of building nuclear subs, Electric Boat in Groton, Connecticut and Newport News in Virginia. Starting with this new class of sub, each will be built by both yards at the same time. In the event one yard is destroyed in war, the other yard will be able to take over construction. Link
[Key Limes] Lime groves in the Keys were here at least in 1827, or before Henry Perrine had traveled to Campeche and saw the little yellow limes there. At least two lime groves had been established in South Florida by 1829. Already there were limes in Cuba where lime groves had clearly already been established





[Popcorn Injustice] So why is it that when you go into a hardware store you get free popcorn? And when you go to the movies, you have to take out a second mortgage for it.

[FantasyFest] My friends and I went to Key West on Wednesday for Fantasy Fest happenings. They should rename this Fest as the AARP Infested Nightmare. Old, ugly, fat, ill-mannered slobs running around almost naked does not appeal to me. Prices jacked up on drinks and food to the point you do not want anything. No, we will not attend any more of this fiasco during the week.



[Magic Mushrooms] How magic mushrooms can help smokers kick the habit. NPR Audio

[Florida Native Plant Month] In a ceremony held in Tallahassee at Native Nurseries, Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services Commissioner Nicole “Nikki” Fried proclaimed October to be Florida Native Plant Month. The proclamation was presented to the Florida Native Plant Society to highlight the role of native plants in conserving and protecting Florida’s natural environment.

In Florida, sales of native plants accounted for $170 million of nursery sales in 2015 (15.5 percent of total nursery sales) and generated an expanded economic impact of $1.2 billion based on University of Florida survey data.

The Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services (FDACS) has designated more than 550 species of native plants as Endangered, Threatened, or Commercially Exploited, nearly 20 percent of all native plant species in Florida.

The Florida Native Plant Society (FNPS) is a non-profit organization whose mission is to promote the preservation, conservation, and restoration of the native plants and native plant communities of Florida. The Society has more than 4400 members and 35 Chapters statewide.




[Grammar Police] That’s hilarious!  Look at that grammar.  How proud are those teachers?  They don’t deserve any more money than they get presently.  Hahahaha

[Guitar vs Ukulele] How to transfer guitar skill to the ukulele. Link
[The Big Timers] It’s no big mystery as to why Little Palm Island was allowed to run its piping through the mangroves while we’re not allowed to trim one.  It’s the same reason that the County Commission waived dump fees for the resort when it was being built. If you have enough money and grease enough palms with it, you can do pretty much anything you want.


[“Toilets and boogers”] Who needs Shakespeare when you have In less than a page one can learn about defecating devices and boogers . And do “fat chicks from New Jersey” lines ever get old? The answer to “fat chicks” is apparently not.

[Mystery Post] To get the dep to look into someone get in touch with someone on state level. We found out after years of BS from local aholes…every body has a hand that Feeds them..and allow a lot of people to get away with terrible bullshit. Call Tallahassee..quickly