2018 October

Friday, October 4, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​​

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[“Increasing density”] Realtors, especially those in the Keys, are not behind the desire to build higher density in the Keys. I say this knowing a lot of them and having been one. As a rule, most Realtors moved to the Keys with one thing in mind – to escape. We came to make a living, enjoy the reefs, eat fresh seafood and not have to listen to whiners all day.
Tourism is the bain of the Florida Keys and the reason those in the tourism business want more beds is because tourists spend stupid amounts of money to go to the Keys. I won’t fault you for blaming developers, and I don’t doubt a few of the well connected Realtors will gain business from it. I won’t name names, but they’ve got family lineage, they’re Conchs, not fresh water conchs – real Conchs who call their friends, “Cuzzy”. So, in loving your Florida Keys just know that every time you invite one of your friends from up north down here, you increase the risk of losing another conch on your block and getting a new built-to-hurricane-code home on the vacant lot next to you. So you don’t feel bad, it’s the same all ova Florida right now. I left the Keys, took my riches to a part of the state that votes red, like our meat and our necks. Where people from Florida are now forced to live because the tourists have taken our waterfronts.
[Old Age] I’ve reached the age where I don’t need a hangover to feel like crap in the morning.
[“Coconut Telegraph prints lies”] I just read Tuesday’s CT.  Therein someone, shielded in anonymity, suggested that the CT was headed for extinction because of printing “lies”.  The author then stated that he/she “hope(d) so.”

What a crock!  CT is a must read for thousands.  I’ve read community news, I’ve read humor, I’ve read community service announcements.  I’ve read bullshit.  I’ve read fascinating history pieces. I’ve read lots of local news, from a locals’ perspective. I’ve read great and not so great jokes.  I’ve read opinions.  All in the CT, and for free.  The CT is a genuine jewel of a local publication.  Personally, I hope it endures and continues to thrive.

As to the person who made the negative comments. I suggest that you simply don’t take the time and effort that it takes to read the CT.  Put simply–get lost!




Africa’s week in pictures. Link

[“Speed limits“] The speed limit at night on Big Pine Key has been 35 mph since I can remember. Is that to slow for you? Then it’s time for you to go! 20 mph in Key West? We used to walk. The Keys used to be so laid back but sadly, crap runs downhill and the crap from the north has stolen our peace in Florida. Just visit anyplace with tourism in its description – Tampa/Clearwater/St. Pete, Sarasota to Marco Island, Key West to Port St. Lucie and of course Orlando. The state is puking red tide and blue green algae, why do they still keep coming?
[Most Popular Newspapers in the World] You should read them if you can. I thought the NY Times was failing?
The Guardian (UK)
The Wall Street Journal (USA)
The New York Times (USA)
The Washington Post (USA)
China Daily (China)
The Times of India (India)
The Sydney Morning Herald (Australia)
The Asahi Shimbun (Japan)
Archaeologist discovers lost 16th-century Spanish settlement in Florida Panhandle. Video




Sex robot Harmony is being field tested and almost ready to be put into production. As predicted, women are coming up with all kinds of reasons why they should be banned. Start saving up- the good ones start at $10,000. Video

US Economy created 134,000 jobs during September. The US unemployment rate fell to 3.7% in September, the lowest rate since December 1969.

Figures from the Department of Labor also showed the US economy created 134,000 jobs during the month, fewer than were expected. Significant jobs growth was seen in professional and business services, healthcare and construction. Link

[Mosquito Control Election] In Tuesday’s CT wondered who my source was concerning Mosquito Control candidate Ralph DePalma.   Happy to oblige.

Actually, it’s not a source, it’s sources.  I took the time and effort to make a FOIA demand for Mr. DePalma’s personnel file.  I have examined that file and that is but one of my sources for my opinions concerning Mr. DePalma.  My other sources have provided me have provided me with information concerning Mr. DePalma’s interaction with governmental entities including MC, the Supervisor of Elections office, and the Village of Islamorada.

For example, I learned that Mr. DePalma was penalized for failing to file his campaign finance reports on time.  That cost him money.  He was penalized for not using the proper disclaimers on his signs and his radio promos. That must have cost him a lot of money and time and effort.  He was penalized for putting his signs on display in Islamorada early, he had to take them down. That cost him money.  The foregoing suggests that Mr. DePalma is not an “organized” person. wrote of some “accomplishments” of Mr. DePalma during his employ at MC.   It appears that those accomplishments either were not his, given that he was an IT person.  Or that they were of little consequence.  Why? Because there is no mention of those “accomplishments” in his personnel file. It does not contain a single letter of commendation from the “Team” that he tells us he was so proud of, nor from any other entity.  That is the same “Team” that was supposed to keep Dengue fever out of the Keys. It failed.

So,, if you’d like a copy of Mr. DePalma’s personnel file, it is a public record.  All you have to do is contact MC and make a FOIA request.  I thought about offering to send it to you, but I suspect that I would be accused of withholding parts of it.

There is nothing in Mr. DePalma’s record that even hints that he is qualified to be a part of the decision-making board for a multi-million-dollar government entity with a vital public health responsibility.   Personally, I’ll vote for Phil Goodman.  You should too. ~From The Right Guy,




[Toddler Puts $1,060 In Cash Through Shredder] Lesson: Don’t teach your toddler to use the shredder! Video

[Marijuana Museum Opens in Vegas] Giant bong, huggable buds what more do you need! Link



Unilever, which makes Marmite and Dove soap, has scrapped its plan to move its headquarters to the Netherlands after growing criticism from investors. Link

[Western Wyoming wildfire 75 percent contained] Weather that is turning cooler and wetter is helping firefighters working to contain a wildfire in western Wyoming that has destroyed 55 homes. The fire has burned some 96 square miles south of Bondurant since it was started Sept. 15 by someone’s abandoned warming fire. There are more than 800 firefighters on the scene.


[“Red tide”] I was on the beach at Jupiter, Florida at night. It was a beautiful night on this fabulous beach, the moon was bright, and we had gotten permission to have a fire on the sand. I was with good friends with good party supplies and we wondered why we were just about the only people on the miles long beach. And then our throats and eyes started burning. We thought it must be toxic waste from the launch site in the far distance, but a passerby told us it was the toxic red tide.

[Laundry to Save Water] As water shortages become more common around the world, the laundry industry is under pressure to reduce consumption of this precious resource and generally minimize its environmental impact. When Johannesburg native Charl de Beer moved back to South Africa, he started a company aiming to rent out freshly laundered linens to the 18,000 Airbnb hosts in Cape Town. But then Cape Town experienced a water shortage crisis that threatened his business – his water costs quadrupled in a year! Link
[“Name that rock”]  It is on Cudjoe on Kemp Channel south of the blimp base. The other person was correct, it was a failed development that the government stopped. That “rock” is marl excavated when they dug the canal. There used to be an old house a ways behind the canal that had a coconut farm in the early 70s. Great place to party. Hippies had sleeping platforms in the buttonwoods and ficus trees and a few tents here and there. In the woods just behind the end of the canal were tons of air plants.
[“Key Deer overpasses”] Raising the speed limit along US1 at Big Pine “after a couple of years when no deer were killed” along the deer fence.
Deer have indeed been killed or had to be relocated from that stretch occasionally even before Irma (although the fence works wonderfully), but there were many kills after the hurricane and the fence was knocked down. The latest ones were in past few weeks due to a breach in the temporary repairs.
The fenced stretch is 1.62 miles long. At 35 mph it takes 2:47 minutes to run through it. At 45 mph it takes 2:10 minutes. So day or night you gain 37 seconds. Even if they raised the night limit to 50 mph (which they would never do) you’d gain about 60 seconds. Where in the world do you have such urgency to go at night through BPK? Liquor store? Drug dealer? Or are you an on-call emergency surgeon?
[Kavanaugh’s Parents Have House in Islamorada] The parents of President Donald Trump’s Supreme Court Judicial nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, own a home at the Ocean Reef Club, where the president’s sister, Maryanne Trump Barry, also lives. Everett Edward Kavanaugh Jr., 77, a former attorney and lobbyist for the cosmetic industry, and Martha Gamble Kavanaugh, 77, former attorney and Montgomery County, Md., Circuit Court judge, live within a short walking distance from Barry, a former federal senior circuit court judge. Link


[Hurricane Debris Costs Inflated by Lack of Oversight] After Hurricane Irma devastated much of Florida and Georgia last September, federal, state and local officials provided little to no oversight of contractors tasked with debris removal, leaving a wide open door to fraud, according to a newly released federal report. Video

[Captured Bounty Mutineers] The treatment of these unhappy men was bad, being closely confined in irons in the castle [forecastle-forwardmost part of ship with the worst ride], and fed on very bad provisions; and the hardships they endured on their passage to England, in Dutch ships, were very severe, having, as he says, slept on nothing but hard boards on wet canvas, without any bed, for seventeen months, always subsisting on short allowance of execrable provisions, and without any clothes for some of the time.
[Sandy’s Café, KW] Inocente Santiago Jr. — whose father started Sandy’s Café in 1984 at 1026 White St. — will get to keep operating as Sandy’s. The usurper down the street will not get to use the name. Video


[Bullsugar Endorsement] I’m proud to be endorsed by as the environmental candidate of choice for the KW Utility Board. To see all Monroe County candidates, and their rating, please use this link.  ~Beth

Beth Ramsay-Vickrey for KW Utility Board Seat D

[Bartender Award] What makes a drink a cocktail? The latest rankings for the world’s best bars were released this week – and perhaps it’s no surprise that London took the top spot, with Singapore and New York also on the podium. Video
[Conspiracy] Former Massachusetts state Sen. Brian Joyce, who was facing criminal charges that he used his public office to run a criminal enterprise, has been found dead at his home in a Boston suburb on Thursday afternoon, police said. He was 56. No foul play was suspected, a spokesman for the Bristol County district attorney’s office said.

Who might have been implicated if he hadn’t been killed by suicide? Our news has been so loaded, that this Sept. 28 “incident” barely made the back page. No foul play?  Really? Link




Let’s vote on which bacon is perfect? The only wrong answer is “I don’t like bacon.” I vote for 6. cook the hell out of it.

[“Red tide”] Miami-Dade to reopen beaches Friday despite red tide detected in coastal waters off Miami. Video
Nobel Peace Prize honors the fight against sexual violence. A Congolese doctor who treats rape victims and an Iraqi woman who speaks out for those — like herself — who were raped and tortured by the Islamic State group won the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for their work to end the use of sexual violence as a weapon of war. Link





[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

[Affordable Housing]  The Greedy’s are coming! The Greedy’s are coming! And there’s no way to stop the development onslaught from destroying our Keys. You can fight, vote, riot, burn and pillage, but you will not stop those greedy bastards from creating an island chain from looking like a big ugly Levittown. But wait, after all is built wall to wall with stacked junk housing the developers will not be here. They will start it all over again in some other Paradise! Follow the money.
I’ve had it with this Me Too movement. How come none of the guys are suing women for the sexual harrassment? Over the years I have been molested by two Nuns, many waitresses, neighbor’s wives and many other women who laughed in my face in the shower! Enough of this one-sided crap. Where’s my lawyer?



[Marathon Event] Real men wear pink. Video

[“Developing the Keys”] Why not? We want to make the money and don not care about you peasants. Then we go elsewhere to destroy their paradise too!
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