2019 September

Friday, September 27, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

(Ed: Oops! I forgot today was Friday so I didn’t publish the Coconut Telegraph. Then at 9:23 at night I realized it was not Saturday and published the CT that I had prepared yesterday. That’s one of the quirks of retirement, nothing distinguishes the days from one another. My sincere apologies to the CT reading public.)
[My opinion of NOAA] Since I have witnessed a systematic chipping away of our rights to make a living on the waters.   We as a fishing industry are being assaulted from every direction with new laws, new restrictions, over-bearing law enforcement, huge fines, even to the extent of big brother infringing on our privacy rights.

We as a fishing industry are on the ropes and this latest “water grab” is now upon us.  This latest attempt to put us all out of business will be the final straw that breaks the fisherman’s back.

So in frustration, I look around to find the culprit in all this.  That culprit is NOAA and the Marine Sanctuary.  They recently came out with a “report card” on the state of the reef.  I knew when that came out that we the users of the sanctuary resources were going to be in big trouble.

Birth control sold over the counter, with no age restrictions. Video
President Reagan said, “The problems start when the man says, I’m from the government and I’m here to help you.”

Those of us who have been here for a time remember when any number of capitalized alphabet letters in groups of three or four (aka government agencies) approached the Keys communities, specifically Cudjoe and Saddlebunch Keys, with the good idea (they thought) of shooting off Patriot Missiles in 1998 as part of the intercept program for Eglin AFB. Thankfully, at that time, we had active and effective property owners associations that took action and were able to point out, through the very knowledgeable efforts of a resident scientist and many others, that with every launch of one of those necessary defense missiles our Great Herons from the refuge would be blown to the Bahamas and reproduction ceased for possibly eons. But the FACTS were not convincing enough. The program was not completed, due in large part, to the efforts of the CGPOA president to invite Charlie Gibson of Good Morning America to investigate with a boat tour of the area. That tour and broadcast created enough clamor from various environmental groups to save the largest coral reef system in the continental United States.

Today everything is happening at warp speed and those of us who are lucky enough to call the Keys home had better become good stewards of the bounty with which we have been endowed. With every government regulation the enforcement requirement is at least a ten-fold cost: employment, housing, energy, waste, etc. For proof, all we need to do is look to our failed sewer system and those large corporate entities that are not subject to the same regulation as the average community member.

[Somalia 1854] Somalis sit deep into the night trimming the fire, and conversing merrily over their cups of Farshu or millet beer. I tried this mixture several times, and found it detestable: the taste is sour, and it flies directly to the head, in consequence of being mixed with some poisonous bark. It is served up in gourd bottles upon a basket of holcus heads [wheat] and strained through a small wad of absorbent of cotton, fixed across the narrow mouth, into cups of the same primitive material. The drinkers sit around their liquor, and their hilarity argues its intoxicating properties. In the morning they arise with headaches and heavy eyes; but these symptoms, which we, an industrious race, deprecate, are not disliked by the Somal—they promote sleep and give something to occupy the vacant mind.
Prescribed Burns on Big Pine Key. Here we go again! Press Release_Update Prescribed Fire September 2019
[Time For A Lawyer] I’m wondering if anyone else received fines from Monroe County for not cleaning up property in time. We received over $160,000 in fines that are absolutely ridiculous. We had the property cleaned up well before the canals were cleaned up, they were still full and creating a huge open sewer in all of them, so are they giving themselves fines?

To those who have had fines I would love to hear what you did to reduce or alleviate them completely. Please email to me at:

[Say No to NOAA Climate Service] NOAA wants to establish a National Climate Service. Although more coordinated efforts and improvements are needed, NOAA has not shown the ability to accurately assess global temperatures nor look behind the carbon driven climate change theory




[Seal Level] Here’s proof that Key West is beginning to revert to its pre-historic state — a shallow reef!

[Wee Weenie] Nothing screams “I’m compensating for an extremely small body part” like owning something like this. Video
[Friday Joke] Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That’s much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
Note: Husband is now recovering from a head injury.


At the Big Pine Moose Lodge. We have the NFL Sunday Ticket so every game is on every Sunday. Don’t miss out on the fun. Interested in becoming a member? stop by the Lodge and we’ll tell you how.

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young – Country Girl (unreleased, live version) Audio
The next meeting of the Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, September 28, 10 am at the senior center.  Bring in your problem device and see if we can help.  Open to all! Full Menu > Ongoing Events



[Plastic Army Women] The perfect gift for your little girl for Christmas. The well-known green soldier toy men will have some company soon. Video

The only way to make lots of money in this world is to sell something that costs your next to nothing to produce at such a low price that will stop any competitor trying to undercut you.