Friday, September 8, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002
Published Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017 -UPDATE
(Ed: Whew! What a strange trip it’s been. We evacuated because of peer pressure. We drove across the state of Florida — TWICE, and the length of Florida once — so far, trying to outsmart Irma. Irma was smarter. We ended up in a hotel in Jacksonville, FL without electricity. We’re still here. At least the electric is back on [but no hot water]. Big Pine Key suffered a direct hit and we fear corporate headquarters is lost and the corporate yacht is no more. We are going out later looking for food and water to bring back to Big Pine. We’ll probably attempt to return Wednesday if they’re allowing folks to go back by then. My neighbor just texted that he was held up at MM 73 where they were only letting first responders to pass. MM30 sure looks like a long ways off. Stay tuned.)
What happened to Little Palm Island? Is it still there?


Does anyone recognize this house? I’m searching for my sister who was here during Irma. Any help is appreciated.

Hi there – any word on No Name Pub?
Thank you!
I hope all  of you are safe and well, wherever you are.

FYI, the Red Cross has a site where you can register so your friends and relatives can check on you. Searchers must have either your phone number or your full home address to find you. You choose how much information to disclose. I registered and verified that all they disclosed was my intended message, which is that I am safe and well. You can search via my name, Laura Knight, and phone number, 828-577-5389, if you want to verify for yourself.

Some nasty pictures of Big Pine Key. Video
We the locked out residents of Big Pine Key would like an Ariel view of of the island. Not being allowed to renter we should like a view so as to see if our homes are still standing. Thank you from the residents
My friends Julie and Steve Wallin are staying in IL. They live at 328 Palmetto on Big Pine Key. Do you know of any way they can find out if their house is still standing? They do know that 2 houses on Palmetto were leveled by the hurricane.
Who was it, Marco Rubio who said that those who survived and stayed in the Keys should be forcefully evacuated now. What an ass.
I’m here in Largo with my sister. there seems to be nothing to do right now except wait. no one is getting into the keys until it is safe, whatever that means. those who stayed on bpk are either dead or insane, with the bugs and heat, no water, no Winn-Dixie, nada. stay where you are for a few more days at least. there is probably no there there anymore.



[Important Claims Numbers] The Staff at Isaksen Insurance.

Do you have any up to date pictures of Big Pine Key?  Daughter lives on 29561 Constitution Avenue.  Thanks so much, The McKinney’s
If someone enjoys posting video, can you please go to Astrangia street on LTK and West Shore Drive on BPK? Best Wishes everyone
Sending love from Nashville. Lots of friends on Big Pine got out. Hope you & everyone is OK.  ~Didi & Greg Sterling, Nashville, TN
Man, if Emergency Management wanted us to be on the same page as them, they should have come down to our level ( Reality) and told us the facts. Coconuts closed. Brass Monkey closed. Dog House closed. My gosh. All of us would have evacuated. It’s too windy to drive to another bar now. I might be an asshole when I drink, but it’s fun to share. In my case there’s nothing worse than drinking with me alone. I pray you and your family are safe Ed. Oh no. I said something nice. I must be sobering up. I need to drink more….
How low can you go?  The latest move by the sleazebag who owns the three Shell stations reared its ugly head as the hurricane approached.  Not only did he immediately jack up the price 20 cents a gallon when Hurricane Harvey hit, when the Tom Thumb ran out of gas on Wednesday, he raised his price another dime to $3.09 a gallon later in the day.  I cannot imagine why anyone would patronize this greedy SOB!

Where Do Birds Go In A Hurricane? Link

What is being done to protect the key deer from hurricane Irma?
Deer Ed, Now that you are safely ensconced in your new environs and have nothing to do, maybe you should post a little more frequently.  Call it an Emergency Edition, or some such.  What would be nice is pictures or videos from those who have stayed behind or have returned after the storm
(Ed: If we can get back home, I don’t know when the next Coconut Telegraph will be published as there is no electricity or internet. It might be quite a while. If you don’t see the CT next Friday, it’s not for lack of trying; even if I have to continue using this shitty laptop that I plan to deep six after the electricity comes back on.)
Click here to send in a post or something. Contact Us
[Irma Sucks] 8:38 am. The barometer is falling! We’re leaving now. It’s the first time we’ll evacuate in forty years. Last evening as I was backing my boat under the house I forgot the entrance door was wide open and I hit it breaking it in two. Just what I needed. I’m so frazzled. Boy, talk about the fear of the unknown. suppose one bridge is washed away and we can’t get back? Goodbye cruel world.

I doubt I’ll post any more today as we’re in emergency mode. When we get somewhere safe I’ll see if I can post more stuff. (P.S. Thanks to all the well-wishers who took the time to let us know you care.)

[Why didn’t Houston evacuate]  Because it is the fourth largest city in the USA, covering an area about the size of Delaware.  Harvey built up relatively suddenly, as hurricane warnings go, how many days in advance would you suggest that size an area and population begin to move to get them all out?  At the rate it was moving they might have started about the time it was crossing the Yucatan peninsula and gotten many of the flooded areas out, but usual hurricane behavior is to slow down over land, and there was no reason to expect it would make cat 4 once it got back over the Gulf.  If you remember the news reports of the disastrous attempted evac ahead of Rita, you’ll have a better idea why many people would think it’s safer to stay in their homes.

When it’s time to evacuate, take only what’s important.  Video

[Johnson’s Insurance Agency] Our offices are currently closed and will not reopen until the hurricane has passed and we can get back into the Keys. You can report a claim to our emergency number in our Longwood office 877-264-2519.

Once you have reported the claim, an adjuster will be contacting you directly. You will have to report a claim so it will be important that you have someone look at your home to see if it has been damaged and try to stop any further damage like getting the water out and tarping your roof, if you can.

Do not fix anything until an adjuster has seen your damaged property. You should take pictures if you need to do something to stop further damage.





[Faith] Key West’s Star of the Sea Church “As long as the Grotto stands, Key West will never again experience the full brunt of a hurricane.” uh, ha…

I was at a bar yakking with a friend just now and saw the predicted track on a tv.  Didn’t have sound on, but it looks like it may go right up the middle of the state!  You guys are ALWAYS welcome at our place in VA…but now even more than ever!  Doesn’t look like anyplace in FL is safe , and roads must be insane, so maybe nows a good time to visit the DC area!  I’d imagine flights out of the Keys are hard to get, but Miami should still be an option. Just let us know and we’ll pick you up at any of our airports. Reagan is closest but Dulles and BWI are within reach too. Gives you greater flexibility in finding seats.
[Canceled] As a result of the impact of Hurricane Irma, the Forgotten Felines fundraiser scheduled of Sunday, September 10, has been cancelled — to be rescheduled at a later date.




[Irma] goodbye cruel world!

Thank G-d you’re leaving!!!  Stay safe.  There is nothing you can do so try to take it easy. Orlando is in the cone.  I would get the f**k outta FloriDuh.
[Irma] Deer Ed – My guess is you might not be publishing Friday if Irma keeps on track but I wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and my friends from my days in PPH on BPK. Remember lessons learned from Wilma: hold on to your damn antlers and park on high ground!
With the path of Hurricane Irma still uncertain, we are working to ensure that all stores that lie within the possible path are prepared and able to provide you with the essentials you need.
We’re experiencing a higher demand for staple items like bottled water, batteries, non-perishables, paper, plastic products and cleaning supplies. We’re monitoring the storm track closely and working with our distribution centers to keep hurricane essentials available.
Please be patient with us and our staff as we are doing everything we can to keep our stores open where it is safe and possible to do so. Some of our store services may be impacted during this time as we are taking precautions to ensure the safety of our associates.Hurricane Irma has already impacted some of our stores. Stay up-to-date on the status of your store.
Thank you for your patience and please be safe.   ~The Team at Winn-Dixie
Big Pine Key Winn Dixie’s Weekly Ad


Good Day, We went ‘back’ to Cincinnati area 8/22 for my son’s wedding 9/9. When Irma ends we hope to return. I see multiple posts about beautiful Bahia Honda State Park and that’s great. I’m on the board of Friends of Bahia Honda, and my partner heads up the Walkway to the Sea brick paver project. When we return, can we put some membership forms and brick order forms in you place? you can also download, complete and mail in either at We hope to have PayPal on our site in a few weeks. Thanks, Gary n Sandy

As support for The People of Jamaica 🇯🇲 for the recovery of the damage caused by Hurricane Irma I bought 4-6packs of Red Stripe and got toasted preparing for Irma here on BPK — No problems, mon.
FLORIDA – Gov. Rick Scott, who in 2015 banned the use of the words “climate change” from all official communications, took swift action on Tuesday to ban the words “180 mph winds,” “catastrophic flooding,” and “run for your f**king lives.”
[Price Gauging] If the Florida growers start raising prices because of Irma the Fed should stomp down hard on those greedy bastards. There is no reason but greed to stick it our arsses! Like the Airlines who price gouged people trying to escape Irma from the Keys!
Deer Ed, Wishing you & yours strength to absorb this storm. Stay safe Dear Friend.                                                             ” You can devise all the plans in the world, but if you don’t welcome spontaneity you will just disappoint yourself. “
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