2014 August

Monday, August 11, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

avacadoNice picture of the avocado on Sunday’s Coco-Tel.  I eat a lot of fruits and veggies and the avocado is one of my very favorites.  Unbelievably versatile.  Guacamole; avocado salad with diced onion, celery, lime juice and mayo; sliced on sandwiches (especially turkey breast, tomato, onion and Swiss on sourdough bread); mashed and spread on wheat bread and grilled with cheese for a grilled avo-cheese sandwich, mixed and mashed with edamame beans and garlic with a splash of hot sauce for a great chip dip; sliced and drizzled with lemon or lime and dusted with a bit of garlic salt for a snack; and so much more.  Be creative with them.  Try slicing the avocado, remove the seed and crack a raw egg in the hole that the seed left.  Place in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes. You get a nice poached like egg in an avocado nest.  A couple of sausage links and an English muffin will make your morning.  Good eats!
Circuit Court Judges should not be elected. How can we know which judge is qualified to issue the death sentence? County judges should be elected because they deal with local issues that are easy to research, just by asking your neighbors.
[Wild Sapodilla
] Our cars kept having glop on the roof and hood. We couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. I looked at the wild sapodilla tree for rotten fruit, but couldn’t see any fruit, old or new. What I think is that birds were carrying off the fruit and some dropped on our cars. I shot this photo of the only old fruit I could find.
Jane Pauly is back on TV. The once Today show host was on CBS this morning with one of the worst plastic surgery eye-jobs on the tube. She now looks like a 60-year old Asian.
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high gas price
] I bought gas at Valero in Marathon yesterday for $3.41. Why is Big Pine $3.79?
[Crooks] “Stolen Mallory Square bike” I posted last week about getting burglarized and I live in Palm Villa too. My neighbor feels that they may have had an unwanted visitor, nothing missing, but things aren’t exactly as they were left. I guess we’d better be extra vigilant in our neighborhood. Sometimes we think it’s just slow cars looking for the deer, but now I’m not so trusting.
[Sewers] I disagree with this Keynoter statement in Saturday editorial.  We were promised gravity in most cases and only when the County Commission tried to cut the costs were we subjected to this pressurized sewer system. Gravity would be about 25 million more THEY  say , but others put the cost at 18 million. Short term thinking with long term problems.

“When the Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority designed it, it was a $156 million system primarily relying on gravity. A gravity system forces sewage down to lift stations, which catch the effluent and send it to the treatment plant. Grinder pumps are electrically powered churning devices on each property that feed sewage through a low-pressure system. They are used where engineers say a gravity system is not practical.”

“The past year, at the behest of a group called Dump the Pumps that says grinder pumps have a short shelf life, the Aqueduct Authority has redone portions of the Cudjoe Regional system to include fewer grinder pumps, which has increased the overall cost.”

[“Desensitizing Islam”] Mohammed sucks rotten dates!
[“Service dogs”] I’m just glad that I don’t need one and as far as anyone else needing one, I feel it’s really none of anybody else’s business either.
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This small hidden beach is out back in the Content Keys.
[Cudjoe Sewer System] What is everyone complaining about and how did we get here? Link
[Yap Dogs] I think people buy those scraggly looking and nasty acting tiny yap dogs just to use them to annoy other people.  The owners seem to think it is so funny and cute when the little monsters go off barking at you.
[“A Cure For Muslim-ism”]
All you have to do is search for “Muslim Cartoons” or “Allah Cartoons” suing[?] the quotes
[“CT closed Sundays starting in November”] Deer Ed, You should consider taking off Friday or Monday also. We all love The Coconut Telegraph but it must be time consuming to
publish 6 days a week. Remember you are in paradise. ~An avid, faithful reader and a former Piner
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Ethan Allen Furniture. Daffodil yellow. Kitchen Hutch and Table with 3 inserts; Bedroom Dresser, Oval Mirror and Nightstand. $300 for either kitchen or bedroom set, or $550 for everything. Can deliver for extra fee, items are in Marathon. Call Todd Classified Ads > Household
The dirty little secret about Hunter Original ceiling fans is that they make an annoying humming sound when run on the low speed.
[“Independents and term limits”] I agree that the Democrat and Republican Parties are so corrupt and twisted their people should be replaced. However, to replace all with Independents while not making new rules for the government to follow for placing people in those spots, is asking for the communist take over of America. Independents means independent ///////////////////////////////people taking over offices in departments that must be organized with the whole system, not as independent situations. This would lead to anarchy and probably a Martial Law situation that will bring death to America and this planet. As bad as it is now, be careful what you ask for!
[Poisonwood] Why do the leaves have spots on them? Does it signify that the end of their season is here? The birds have eaten most all of their seeds by now.
[Your Honor, my client is an idiot] Sheriff’s deputies in Salina, Kansas, arrested Aaron Jansen, 29, but not before he put on quite a show on July 5. Jansen, speeding in a car spray-painted with derogatory comments about law enforcement, refused to pull over and even survived a series of tire-shredding road spikes as he turned into a soybean field, where he revved the engine and drove in circles for 40 minutes. As deputies set up a perimeter, Jansen futilely tossed items from the car (blankets, CDs, anything available) and then (with the car still moving) climbed out the driver’s door and briefly “surfed” on the roof. Finally, as deputies closed in, Jansen shouted a barrage of Bible verses before emerging from the car wearing a cowboy hat, boots and a woman’s dress.
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Gun Cabinet.
An effective way to keep your firearms stored and organized safely, with a top shelf for ammunition storage. The steel cabinet can be mounted to a wall, and has a double lock mechanism for maximum security. Please remember this is a cabinet not a safe, and it does come with the keys. Classified Ads > Miscellaneous
[Smart Dog] I love this dog. Some days this is just how I feel. When you feel like you have just had enough go to bed. Video
[“CT closed Sundays starting in November”] Deer Ed,  Can’t blame you for going to a 5 day format.  After all the years of 7 and then 6 days per week you deserve and need a normal weekend off.  Kudos to you!
danny-coll1I am the candidate who opposes extending for ten years the multimillion-dollar contract with Waste Management without first sending it out for competitive bidding.
I am the candidate who opposes the purchase of a private multi-million dollar land deal, when it is was appraised for less.
I am the candidate who opposes forcing many District 2 residents to use grinder pumps of questionable quality and economics. Other areas of the Keys are receiving a more reliable, less invasive and environmentally superior system.
I am the candidate who will support term limits, and does not believe in career politicians.

My only agenda is to represent YOU. That means returning your calls, answering your questions and seeking your opinion before casting my vote. I want to serve you because I love this country and I have a unique perspective on living here. I was born in Cuba shortly after Castro took power. Rejecting communism and seeking freedom, my father gave up his career to move to America. He took a job as a service station attendant, while my mother cleaned hotel rooms in Miami Beach. We were poor, but I learned to work hard and save money. Later I moved to the Keys where I volunteered as a firefighter, EMT/Paramedic. Eventually I started an ambulance company and purchased the Big Pine NAPA Auto Parts store. Everything I am or ever will be, I owe to this nation for the opportunity it gave me.

But our country’s finances have gotten us into deep trouble. I am afraid that the success I have had might not be available to future generations. While I cannot solve the problems in Washington, I can work to make sure Monroe County is on the right track. I can do that with the same principle that brought me success in business — hard work! I can watch the numbers. I can always shop around for the best deal. If I am going to buy it, I will always know how I will pay for it.

If you support principles like these, please give me your vote on or before August 26.   ~Danny Coll

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List of common misconceptions. George Washington did not have wooden teeth. Link
[“Service dogs”] The reason you’re seeing more of them, is because these beautiful, clean, intelligent creatures are proving more and more adept at aiding humans in ways previously unknown. What’s your problem? I haven’t seen one yet that was anything but attentive to its owner. They don’t bark or bite and not one has ever pissed on my leg or dropped an “s” bomb where I was walking, whether it was in a restaurant, movie theatre or retail store. Get used to it. They’re here to stay, like disabled parking spots. I love it.
I’m registered to vote in Big Pine Key, however I will not be back there until Oct. When is the election and what is it for? Am I eligible to vote for you?
monster peace
[Muslims] Being a pacifist at heart, I hate to say it but it is time to wipe out everyone in the Middle East for the greater good of mankind.  I’m talking Egypt, Israel, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iran, Yemen, and we might as well throw in most of Africa.  They are mostly useless and dragging the rest of us down.   It’s going to happen but too late.  The human race has run amok and I am curious about the future, on the one hand, but thankful I will not have to actually live in the times that are ahead.
[Movies] I hate it when someone sneaks up on a friend and puts a hand on their shoulder–scaring the hell out of them. Friends don’t do that in the real world. That’s a trick they’ve been doing in just about every B movie ever made. The second trick it they always fall when running from the bad thing.
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
Wanted. Arc welder, push mower, string trimmer. Classified Ads > Wanted
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Senator McCain
wants troops sent to Iraq because he says the latest threat to Iraq’s Kurds is a direct threat to the “homeland” I think McCain forgets that Iraq is far away an no matter who wins there, they don’t have camels that can swim the Atlantic. Iraq is not a threat to the homeland.
[Woman] Everything a young man should know about women. A very straightforward way to learn about women. Warning- this is for men only! Video
[“Iguanas, can we shoot them from our cars”] Heavens no! Don’t take your pellet gun off your property or the MiGs (Men in Greens) will take you over the bridge to the Gray Bar Hotel on College Avenue. The best thing each of us can do is to kill the iguana in your own yard. These migrants to Monroe are given a free pass to live on public property, much like the lion fish are given a free pass to live freely in NOAA spas, like the homeless are given free beds at COTS and like the migrants crossing the Southern border are given a place to stay in the USA.
[“Best western”] I hopes the Western movies never go out of style because I loves wearing those silly duds and looking like I was 10 years old again. My favorite is Hopalong Cassidy. Too bad those coppers won’t let me carry my guns like he did. I never want to grow up!
Oh, no no no. Bank of America is the absolute cause of the past 7 years’ downturn and do not let anyone give any other reason. They are the worst bank in America and despite their new friendly facade they still will burn their most loyal customers. The truth is going to bring them down. You deserve to self destruct BoA
Isaksen-ad-750w has received praise from folklorist Dr. Jan Harold Brunvand, author of a number of books on urban legends and modern folklore, who considers the site so comprehensive as to obviate the necessity for launching one of his own. David Mikkelson has said that the site receives more complaints of liberal bias than conservative bias, but insists that the same debunking standards are applied to all political urban legends. FactCheck reviewed a sample of Snopes’ responses to political rumors regarding George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, and Barack Obama, and found them to be free from bias in all cases. FactCheck noted that Barbara Mikkelson was a Canadian citizen (and thus unable to vote in US elections) and David Mikkelson was an independent who was once registered as a Republican. “You’d be hard-pressed to find two more apolitical people,” David Mikkelson told them.
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Gov-Rick-Scott-visit-to-MarathonCounty Commissioner George Neugent met with Governor Rick Scott on Tuesday (August 5th) in Miami to discuss future Monroe County funding allocations, and invited the Governor down for a visit. On Friday, August 8th, Commissioner Neugent, our State Representative Holly Raschein, Marathon Mayor Dick Ramsay, and Islamorada Mayor Ted Blackburn welcomed Governor Rick Scott to Marathon where the Governor pledged a $1 billion state-wide investment to preserve and protect Florida’s waters, as part of his new “Let’s Keep Florida Beautiful” proposal
I think that American Muslims have to watch what they say about events in the Middle East in order to avoid creating problems for relatives they may have living over there
Jihadists are the most dangerous people on the planet. ISIL’s goal is to make the world an Islamic place. In order to spread Mohammed’s religion of peace and love they will blow you up or cut off your head.
ceiling fan cat
[“Hunter Original ceiling fans”] They are overpriced and no longer guaranteed for life. I buy the cheapest fans I can find. Most of my fans are twenty years old and still work fine. For the price of one Hunter I supplied fans for my entire house.
Four poster twin bed with a cherry finish. $50. Classified Ads > Household
[“Key’s quiz”] Which do you fear the most?
A. Sharks
B. 2 Ft long Palmetto bugs
C. Hurricanes
D. Religious nuts taking over Earth
E. God if one exists
D. Some damn fool causing a wreck on the Seven Mile Bridge, shutting it down for hours
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[“Name That Bird”] Nakumous Surfbanous. Not seen locally and rarely in flight!
Was the poster saying that Doctors Without Borders is an atheist organization or is operated by an organized groups of atheists? I don’t think so. The doctors who contracted Ebola were part of Samaritan’s Purse, a Christian organization. I also did not suggest that only religious people could do good works. I am simply upset with atheists worrying about crosses at ground zero, the Ten Commandments, etc. I think they would have more support if they used their organizational apparatus towards good works instead of constantly focusing on tearing down others’ belief systems.
[“CT closed weekends starting in November”] Good for you Deer Ed. Some years ago you had a self described ‘melt down’ – comments then were don’t close/sell, but take weekends off to recharge your battery (and have a life). You elected to take one day off — first Sunday, then after you looked at site hits changed it to Saturday. I’m so glad you have finally decided/realized living in your Paradise isn’t about working seven days a week.
Remember that never in recorded history has someone on their deathbed said, “I wish I could have spent more time on the job at the office” Never!
Enjoy your chosen paradise location. Recharge your battery. See you on Monday. ~A faithful reader/poster
[Croc Eats Shark] Well here’s something you don’t see everyday! Massive saltwater crocodile eats a bull shark on the banks of East Alligator River in Kakadu National Park, Australia
[“Name that bird”] Green bird that hasn’t run into a loose cat!
[“Dog Butt Jesus“] Ah, gee wiz, I bet if JC really did exist, he would laugh like hell at you.
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[Mosquitoes] Keyswide, 61 percent supported using genetically engineered technology in Key West to control Aedes aegypti mosquitoes, which can carry dengue fever.
[Definition Religion] The brain washing of the inept part of humanity who is gullible enough to bend over for some weirdo who cons them out their freedoms, their money, their children, their rights, and whatever else the weirdo can get without working for a living. Amen.
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FTR nobody said Obamacare was the best thing since sliced bread. The best thing since sliced bread would be not needing insurance. You asked if anyones health insurance went down expecting no responses and got a few including myself saying our rates went down. They did. I cant make a sandwich with the lower rates as I can with sliced bread but I can take the wife out for a dinner more often.

Im saving money for once and its refreshing. Again, I have no subsidy I earn to much to qualify.

from the right
Shortly after 9/11/2001 Barry Loudermilk, an Air Force vet, wrote the following opinion piece, it was published in a Georgia newspaper and in VietNow National Magazine.

“At a high school in Oklahoma, school officials remove “God Bless America” signs from schools in fear that someone might be offended.

At a Long Island, New York television station, management orders flags removed from the newsroom, and red, white, and blue ribbons removed from the lapels of reporters. Why? Management did not want to appear biased, and felt that our nation’s flag might give the appearance that “they lean one way or another.”

Officials in a California city ban U.S. flags from being displayed on city fire trucks because they didn’t want to offend anyone in the community.

In an “act of tolerance,” the head of the public library at a Florida university ordered all “Proud To Be an American” signs removed so as to not offend international students.

flag house27I, for one, am quite disturbed by these actions of so-called “American citizens”; and I am tired of this nation worrying about whether or not we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on September 11th, we have experienced a surge of patriotism by the majority of Americans. However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled in New York and Washington, DC when the “politically correct” crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. In fact, our country’s population is almost entirely comprised of descendants of immigrants; however, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some native-born Americans, need to understand.

First of all, it is not our responsibility to continually try not to offend you in any way. This idea of America being a multi-cultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language, and our own lifestyle. This culture, called the “American Way” has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. Our forefathers fought, bled, and died at places such as Bunker Hill, Antietam, San Juan Hill, Iwo Jima, Normandy, Korea, Vietnam, and the Persian Gulf, for our way of life. We speak English, not Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn our language!

“In God We Trust” is our national motto. This is not some off-the-wall, Christian, right wing, political slogan. It is our national motto. It is engraved in stone in the House of Representatives in our Capitol, and it is printed on our currency. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation; and this is clearly documented throughout our history. If it is appropriate for our motto to be inscribed in the halls of our highest level of government, then it is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools.

God is in our pledge, our National Anthem, nearly every patriotic song, and in our founding documents. We honor His birth, death, and resurrection as holidays, and we turn to Him in prayer in times of crisis. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture, and we are proud to have Him.

We are proud of our heritage and those who have so honorably defended our freedoms. We celebrate Independence Day, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and Flag Day. We have parades, picnics, and barbecues where we proudly wave our flag. As an American, I have the right to wave my flag, sing my national anthem, quote my national motto, and cite my pledge whenever and wherever I choose. If the Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don’t like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.

The American culture is our way of life, our heritage, and we are proud of it. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don’t care how you did things where you came from. We are Americans. Like it or not, this is our country, our land, and our lifestyle.

Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion about our government, culture, or society, and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag, our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life, I highly encourage you to take advantage of one other great American freedom, the right to leave!”

Today, Loudermilk’s opinion is even more valid than it was then.