2013 February

Monday, February, 2013


(Editor: Oops I lost the menu fiddling around in the cloud. I’ll get it back this Thursday. Please use the above one until then.)

an_fourPresident’s Day

[“Mature feral cats can’t be re-domesticated”] I have 4 retired former feral tomcats to disprove that.




[Inspector Clouseau] What bumbling Monroe County detective would take the time to investigate a crazy cat lady’s claim that the humorous and phony Iguana Killer’s Club was killing cats? The funny posts were obviously written by a “troller” looking to stir up controversy. I think it’s the cat ladies that need investigating for wasting police time on a bogus issue. 

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danica18Danica Patrick has made history in NASCAR, becoming the first female driver to win the pole at the Daytona 500. Patrick went out eighth in the qualifying session Sunday and covered the 2½-mile super speedway in 45.817 seconds, averaging 196.434 mph.

Jeff Gordon was the only other driver who topped 196 mph. He will start in the front row with Patrick. The rest of the field will be set in duel qualifying races Thursday.

I look forward to a box store going into Rockland Key shopping center. I will patronize it and will make a day out of it getting off of my own particular rock and will allow me to eat in a different restaurant for lunch. 

[IKC Investigation Task Force] I can’t get over the fact that the detective actually spent the time researching who wrote the sarcastic posts. He even went to the poster’s home to accuse the poster of bad humor and got the poster to confess. I wonder if he water-boarded the poster to get the confession? Good work, detective, you da man! I feel safer with you on the job.

caveat18[Buyer Beware] 22 years ago my husband and I went house hunting with a local realtor, we were here on vacation. The first place they took us was to No Name Key they explained to us how their electricity was supplied by solar and generator only, and that commercial electric was not allowed. I said get me out of here this is not the place for me. Happily we found our enchanted cottage in Eden Pines.

I say you bought into it knowing all the facts and once you get electrified you will sell your house and move elsewhere like everyone who has demanded changes or eliminated something here, they always move as soon as they won their chance and stuck us with the down fall.

[IKC] The Iguana Off-kilter Club, the Iguana Zero’s Club, the Iguana Chicken Club.


[Yard & Bake Sale] Lower Keys Property Owners Association is having their annual yard & bake sale on sat. Feb. 23 at our club house on Bogie Road, Big Pine Key just before the No Name Bridge. Something for everybody. Sloppy Joe lunch specials available & lots of home made goodies. Starts at 8 AM. For more info Bulletin Board


[Cat Lady Outrage] The IKC was cruising along with minimal flak until they decided to branch out to include cats.  Dumb.  Dumb.  People love cats.  Maybe not everyone, but enough that you brought the house down on yourself.  I say again, Dumb.  But I’ll bet you figured that out by now.



[“Ted Nugent, a one riff wonder”] I’m aghast reading that. All rock musicians are one riff wonders, but it’s one riff for each song.

[“Vituperative shrew?”] I do not think Ms. Sylvia Murphy deserved to be labeled by anyone as a vituperative shrew. We Monroe County residents have for far to long demonstrated our apathy and allowed the Monroe County Commissioners to regulate us out of power on No Name Key and our land development rights on our other Islands. We have idly sat by and accepted legalized bribery called ROGO, where in you pay the county in “donating” land worth points so you can build on the land you want to build on in the first place. Is it not apparent to Keys residents that they have been regulated out of their rights long ago?

I have never observed Ms Murphy demonstrate vituperative behavior by uttering or being given to censure. I have also not witnessed any public display or speech by Ms. Murphy containing or characterized by verbal abuse. I would have to guess that the poster must have a new word of the day calendar and that’s where the word “vituperative” came from. Maybe instead of calling people names the poster of the unflattering comment can become an activist to represent all Keys property owners and dismantle the ROGO system and return to, we the people, our unalienable property rights here in the Keys.

Please don’t hide behind anonymous postings. Please get out there publicly and represent all of us who have been abused in our right to develop our property for so long. Please run for a public office!

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I don’t know how people get eaten by sharks. I mean, how do you not hear the music?

fine-woodworking-ad 1.7.13
[IKC] How come the president gets all the abuse. I’ve written in pretend posts about the “club” too. 

an gallows


[Join the Club] I’m having trouble with my computer. Just wanted to let you know the reason why I haven’t answered my e-mails. Sometimes I can get through and other times I can’t. My niece ordered a computer for me, not sure when I will get it. I wasn’t able to get all your addresses so if you don’t here from me in a couple of weeks, please e-mail me. I’d like to have your e-mail addresses.

Everyone knows that having a pretty yard is more important than the environment.

You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are until you hear a child sing them.


[1st Amendment] I hope the comment regarding Detective Brummer was as satirical as the comments from the IKC person. If not, the detective has clearly violated this person’s first amendment rights. By acting under the color of law in his request that he restrict his publications, he has clearly and egregiously restricted this man’s First Amendment right to free speech. I would encourage IKC person to contact the detective’s supervisor. Moreover, if he so desires he should also contact a private attorney or perhaps the ACLU for further civil prosecution of his claim against the detective. Either way IKC person has no reason to restrict his blog posts. 

[Raccoons] We have blonde and regular raccoons on our property. I’ve watched them do a balancing act on our porch rail, but have never found damage. We keep our trash cans covered, so there’s never trash in the yard. Having herds of raccoons attacking people, tearing through doors, and I would assume in the near future, running in packs and eating houses and various keys, would sound terrifying. Kind of like a Florida Keys Godzilla.

One has to wonder if the IKC President, who was retired by the Monroe Co. Sheriff’s Dept. for, among other things, his fraudulent posts on the CT, isn’t the same individual trying to stir up controversy about our raccoons. Read these posts with a discerning eye as, like the rest of this guy’s posts, they’re rife with BS.




[Music critic] What etch-A-sketch is to art, Rap is to music

[No Name Key Profiteering] Someone Sunday said that Commissioner Murphy should be ashamed of herself for her comments about bringing electrification to No Name Key. I applaud her for saying what so many of us have been saying all along. I have talked with a few of the pro-electric folk, and it is evident that is the hidden agenda. They saw a “diamond in the rough” and want to profit from it. Kudos to Comm. Sylvia Murphy!

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Roxy Music. The Main Thing

Springers-Prime-Rib00     Doerfels-at-Springers

Prime Rib Dinner    Live Music


[IKC Persecuted] The First Amendment gives the right to speak your piece, even if it is a rant. The 1 per centers rave on, you can too. MCSO, please leave the guy alone. You may not agree with the IKC guy’s ‘humor’, but he has a right to speak. The ACLU should investigate the detective.



[‘Long thin candles are hard to find”]  My sis finds them at craft fairs, festivals with craft booths, places where people sell their homemade stuff.  Hallmark stores and their like usually have the cheap production-made ones.

Asteroid video. Link

an_drained smile

If at first you don’t succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You’ll be amazed at how much less you care.

[Ambergris]  I thought I had found some ambergris outside a local watering hole that a cetacean-like Jersey honey ejected. On closer inspection I realized my mistake — ambergris does not contain corn.

[“Deer Ed was fiddling around in the cloud] Does this mean Deer Ed is a member of the Mile High Club?

an waveing


[R.I.P. IKC] Geez people, where is your sense of humor? Everyone is so easily offended and outraged nowadays. Maybe the IKC President was merely exercising his 1st Amendment rights for his and our amusement.

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[Hit man] Friction hard to avoid in small town. Deputies had to intervene when a friend of Dennis Zecca confronted Bruce Schmitt last month, according to a Monroe County Sheriff’s Office offense report. Link



Something just doesn’t seem right with this advertising.

[Computer Security] While you are away, Predator will keep a log of activity and will alert you via email, or Twitter, if someone tries to access your machine. What’s more, Predator can take a picture of the person trying to access your files!

To unlock your computer, all you need to do is plug the USB drive back in. If you misplace the drive, click the left mouse button, hit Enter 3 times, and type in your password.  Link

[Satire] I liked the wit of the IKC posts. The person going so far as to involve the Police is obviously devoid of any sense of humor. Just because the subject offends you does not make it a Police matter. This is still America, Remember?

dead_cat[IKC] It appears that the “retired president of the IKC” still has nothing better to do than foment hatred and discontent. Now it’s a battle against cats, which he’s asserting are killing all of our birds. Needless to say, he has nothing to support his claims other than his tendency to babble about wanting to kill animals. This guy’s a menace to our community and our pets and wildlife. Here are a few facts regarding the deaths of birds. One brief note: Almost all studies related to free roaming cats and their impact on the bird population are replete with gross generalizations and speculation, and even apparent “scientific” studies reflect contradictory results. 

But since the IKC President wants to begin a new controversy to idle away his hours after the sheriff closed down his fraudulent IKC rants, here’s a little info based on data, such as it is:

Here are some statistics gathered from Business Week, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, ABC and Orange County, Florida’s internal publication about the real threat to birds in the U.S.
Window panes: 97 million to 976 million birds killed each year, Power lines: 174 million birds killed each year, Vehicles: 60 to 80 million birds killed each year, Pesticides: 72 million birds killed each year, Oil field waste pits: 2 million birds killed each year, Windmills: 30,000 birds killed each year, Communication towers: 4 to 50 million birds killed each year, Fisheries: hundreds of thousands of seabirds killed each year.

These are the documented figures. Missing from the above statistics are the numbers of birds that are killed by hunters with the support and sanction of the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, state game agencies and the U.S. Department of the Interior. Those numbers are easily in the tens of millions. These figures don’t include the numbers of birds and bats killed annually by wind turbines. Deaths number in the millions, with a large number comprised of raptors and vultures.

So, Mr. Animal Killer, please present some factual data to support your claims or be quiet and let the animals of the Keys live in peace. 





President’s Day on The History Channel. Link

Federal Medical Marijuana Bills introduced today in anticipation of patient-led Congressional lobbying effort. Link


Help for invasive animals. Pythons, etc. Link




Tree of life?

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auxiliary18New Coast Guard Auxiliary partnership increases boater education. Boater education is getting a boost in the upper Florida Keys thanks to a new partnership between the Sanctuary and U.S. Coast Guard Auxiliary.  Since February, the Upper Keys and Ocean Reef Coast Guard Auxiliary flotillas have begun patrols of the 11 Sanctuary Preservation Areas and two Research Only Areas between Tennessee and Carysfort reefs in an effort to educate boaters and protect the coral reef environment. New Coast Guard Auxiliary partnership increases boater education

Auxiliary members in marked vessels are conducting patrols weekly to inform boaters about the Sanctuary’s special zones and rules, and promote boating safety. The additional on-the-water outreach provided by Auxiliarists will help maintain the integrity of sanctuary “no-take” areas and avert both accidental and intentional violations. Auxiliarists will distribute educational packets containing charts and conservation information to boaters unfamiliar with sanctuary rules, and have the ability to contact FWC and U.S. Coast Guard enforcement teams if necessary.

Two of the five Florida Keys flotillas currently patrol sanctuary zones, and the program is anticipated to expand Keys-wide in the coming months. More than 350 individuals in the Florida Keys donate their time to the Coast Guard Auxiliary, whose mission is to contribute to the safety and security of the nation’s citizens, ports and waterways.

Coast Guard Auxiliary educational patrols will complement similar boater education conducted by Sanctuary volunteers with the Team OCEAN program who use Sanctuary vessels to engage boaters at heavily visited reef sites during summer weekends and busy holidays.

Check out the latest “Around the Sanctuary” story on the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary website: Link



The only thing scary enough to keep the dog off the couch.

Cringe-worthy pregnancy photos. “bump” overload. Link

[President’s (IKC) Message] I wonder where this will lead. You do understand that there are no IKC meetings, no privileges of membership and that I have never shot any critters of any type. The whole thing is just trolling. My wife thinks I’m weird for doing this. I find it entertaining. I do know a guy that has shot about 250 iguanas.  




[IKC] Sheriff arrest mug shot of President of the Iguana Killer’s club President’s arrest.

[The Idle Rich] Lynda Bird Johnson Robb, the eldest of President Lyndon B. Johnson’s two daughters, told a Key West audience on Saturday that, despite 45 years of volunteer service on a literary nonprofit board, she is certain how the press will remember her. Link



Result of minimum wage.

sticky18[Junk Jeans] First anatomically-designed Jeans with a man’s junk in mind. T.H.C. introduces The first anatomically-designed, open button-fly jeans, duly noted as The Hot Child, Junk Jeans. The first jeans with a contoured fly. The first jeans made for a man. No more scrunching, squishing, or splitting of the goods. 
Launching on Kickstarter,com (the premier funding platform for creative projects)) The Hot Child hopes to raise the much needed capital to finish setting up their production in preparation for the launch of their web-store this April.
The young designer, Octavio Silva, (one of Florida’s own) has done everything thus far on his own merit, including funding the Magic Marketing show this past august; a show that paved the way for the cultivation of many invaluable contacts.
This press release is about the opportunity of being a part of Octavio’s rise in the fashion world. It’s great to see one of our own realize their dreams.

For more information about Octavio, his designs, his kickstarter project and to participate, please go to link off to his kickstarter project page right there off of the home page and Pledge. There’s only 15 days to go. It’s all or nothing on there and he needs your help! Make yourself look big! Link

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The 3 Dog Night concert was truly a 3 dog night (hoping all readers understand what 3 dog night is an idiom for). Brrrrr, but good old time music.

Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.



Watch the Moon pass Jupiter and company this week. (These scenes are drawn for the middle of North America. European sky watchers: move each Moon symbol a quarter of the way toward the one for the previous date. In the Far East, move it halfway. For clarity, the Moon is shown three times actual size.)

[“Ted Nugent at Boondocks”] Thats funny. More like George Nugent. If you think those trib. (Drib) bands are good, you probably like Howard Livingston’s music. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz 

an switch on off[Captain Doom and Gloom] They have us by the electric switch. Without electric we have no water, sewerage, fuel, lights, refrigeration, TV, radio, phone, heat, AC, food, markets, money, hospitals, medicines, fire stations, police, military, transportation, we would have nothing by a flick of a switch. Big E rules!

Come to think about it, if no body pays the illegal income taxes, then the government cannot give any monye to some useless eaters, right?



[“What does the GOP stand for”] Corporations are above people, denying science, believing in the supernatural, controlling woman’s reproductive process. Against protecting the environment, against immigration, against alternative energy research and investment, against welfare, against government healthcare. Against anything new or non-white.

I do remember when I paid $1.80 per gallon for gas. I also remember paying $5.00 per gallon for the same gas under the last sitting Republican President. Even FTR has to be glad he’s not paying “Bush” prices for gas. Get ready for the backspin here it comes.

Obama Bad Link

Do you want to know why gas prices are rising? Yes, I’m sure a certain poster would have you think that it’s all the President’s fault. Look again! Link 



On Saturdays, when Deer Ed snoozes…

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[Obama is at war with America] My hat’s off to you Sir. At least two of us are in agreement.

Why are Republicans, on the one hand, so vocally concerned about the effect of the national debt on the lives of their children and grand children’s future, and on the other hand,  so seemingly unconcerned about the effects of climate change on their future?

I laughed when I read this line by FTR: “I ask my liberal friends: do you believe that the government should have full access to your mental health records? I urge you to think of the ramifications.”

Thou protesteth too much for a reason!


[Obama Evil] Pain at the pump. Ouch. Our President and I have never seen eye to eye on most anything. Why he and his people would want to hurt us with these high gas prices is something I just don’t get. We can use the employment, we can use the tax dollars. Why? Food cost are also through the roof and every dollar we spend on high gas prices could make our life a little easier. Why he wants the working guy to feel this much pain is perplexing. Many of us sure could use a break. This doesn’t have to be this way.

The GOP stands for capital and free markets. Markets free of governmental influence or regulation. They also believe in manipulating our government the same way with lobbyists and whoever can write the largest check. They believe in family values. Not your families, their families. They are not the same party who freed the slaves, but they are the same party who suspended habeas corpus. If they knew Abraham Lincoln was a homosexual Jew they may not bring him up all the time as being a great president. 



Obama has been involved in more wars and more American deaths in four years than Bush was in eight years. Why then do liberals hate Bush while worshiping Obama? It’s so hypocritical it makes me cringe. 

[What Are You Talking About Department] I was off Vietnam on the USS Enterprise carrier during this era. She is a traitor and no president of the USA should honor her for what she did to these POW’s. I see Jerry every year at the Reno Air Races. He was one of the POW’s that survived his beatings after she betrayed him and our country. She should be treated as a traitor, not as Obama portrays her. Pass this on. I flew Ron and Nancy Reagan to Palm Spring one night in a private jet to have dinner with President Ford. She is a fine lady and letting this traitor portray her is disgusting. Don’t pay to watch it. I won’t.

an can sardines


[Corruption] Isn’t it odd that minimum wage laws have been exempted from American Samoa, where Pelosi’s husband just happens to have a canning plant.

Fed audit reveals tax-payer backed battery factory hasn’t produced or sold a single battery since awarded fed grant in 2009. Video

Participating in a gun buy-back program because you believe that criminals have too many guns is like having yourself castrated because you believe that the neighbor’s have too many kids.


right only grey

5th18Yesterday, a poster with a very combative attitude wrote: “FTR talks in circles and riddles.”  The poster’s ire is directed at this Olde fart and at Florida’s Republican Governor Rick Scott. The other day I challenged any and all to cough up any proof that Scott had committed any crime.  My critic coughed up a hair ball, but failed to show any proof or even evidence whatsoever that Scott had been involved in any criminal acts. He didn’t because it is impossible to so do. Bubba and GWB’s FBI and the Justice Department fine toothed Scott’s record as CEO of Columbia/HCA and found no evidence that he had committed any crime. That is cold hard fact, the angst burdened poster may not like it, but it is fact.

The poster wrote about Scott’s lawyer’s decision to advise Scott to exercise his Fifth Amendment Right.  The poster suggested that the more times one exercises his/her rights, the more it points to wrong doing.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Indeed, under the advice of his lawyer, Scott did repeatedly exercise the Fifth Amendment while giving testimony in depositions. The depos were not even in criminal cases, they were in civil proceedings.

Our FTR/Scott bashing poster urged us to check out Politifact Florida on the issue.

I did. Politifact did not support the bashers claim. Politifact Florida wrote that while “Legal experts say that though Scott may have used the privilege too freely, there are myriads of reasons other than guilt to claim a Fifth Amendment privilege.” Actually, in trial, even mentioning that a defendant or any witness exercised his/her Fifth Amendment rights is specifically prohibited.

It turns out that Scott as well as Columbia/HCA were the targets of the investigation that was begun during Bubbas reign. No criminality on the part of Scott was discovered. But, in the Columbia/HCA hierarchy, four persons were charged with crimes. Two were convicted of defrauding Medicare and were sentenced to prison. Soon thereafter, those convictions were overturned on appeal. A third executive was acquitted and a jury failed to reach a verdict on the fourth. We’ve already learned that the primary whistle blower said that he had no knowledge whether or not Scott committed any crime.

Scott may have been one of the targets in the case, but he was never even questioned. Let me repeat that, Scott was not even questioned by the investigators. Let me assure you that if the Feds had any evidence implicating Scott, they would have interviewed him.

The 5th Amendment issue arose in depositions in a civil case that had nothing to do with any criminal charges.

Perhaps you might want to consider that Politifact Florida is a joint project of the Tampa Tribune and the Miami Herald. Both papers are decidedly liberal, Scott is a dedicated conservative.  Both papers have a dog in the fight.  The Politifact article in question was published during the 2010 election cycle, Scott’s first campaign.  Even given that, Politifact Florida did not conclude that Scott had committed any wrong doing in invoking his 5thAmendment rights. Scott opposed Alex Sink, an unrepentant liberal.  You should consider that both the Tampa Tribune and the Miami Herald endorsed Democrat Alex Sink.

Scott talks and walks the Republican credo.  Scott keeps his promises. He promised to reduce property taxes, He did. Governor Rick Scott signed legislation that will save homeowners and businesses throughout Florida $210.5 million on property taxes that were due in 2012.

The property tax cut allows families and businesses to use more of their hard-earned money in the way they see best, rather than having to send it to a government agency.

By the way, my critic labeled my previous posting as being nothing more than a “huge smokescreen”.  I challenged the critic to tell us specific falsehoods, or shams that were in my posting about Scott. He didn’t and he won’t because he can’t. Deer Friends, in pilot jargon, that fact is severe clear and as straight as an arrow. 

an_detective3Part 2) It’s no secret that this Olde fart is retired law enforcement. I served as a detective for about 35 years. About 23 of those years were as a manager/executive. Yesterday I read the posting concerning the IKC.  I have no idea who the “President” of the IKC is, nor do I care. However the Sheriff’s investigation in response to an e-mail was a waste of valuable and expensive manpower.  It strikes me that the Sheriff’s office was flat wrong in even beginning the investigation. We have been led to believe that investigation was commenced because of an e-mail. There is no mention of evidence or of any claim that that there were witnesses, or even that evidence existed that a crime had been committed. According to the investigative report that has been posted, the report specifically states that the fictional President of the fictional IKC “confessed” to being the author of the fictitious postings. The report also stated that the detective reported that, “I asked him to stop writing these posts and he agreed to do so.” The word “confessed” is a loaded word that suggests criminal culpability. It should not have been used in this setting.

It’s really disturbing that any Sheriffs investigator could have been assigned to take the time to engage in what appeared to be a fairly comprehensive inquiry into various data bases in search of info or evidence in a non crime. That cost’s time and money. It’s a failure of management. The investigator claimed to have done “extensive research”. One must wonder what reported crimes in the investigators to-do box went un-worked while he/she scratched the itch of a peeved CT reader.

As far as we know no evidence exists that any cat, any possum, any iguana was killed by any fictitious member of the fictitious IKC, an imaginary organization that claims to be killing imaginary pests. Just for the record, I’ve been assured that the humane killing of an iguana with a pellet rifle is no crime. Especially if the pest is fictional.

It strikes me that the only offense that the imaginary President of the imaginary IKC committed was to piss off a reader of the CT.  God help us all if that is a crime! Deer Friends, it has been patently obvious from the beginning that the IKC was a ruse, a joke, a parody, a spoof, an intentional fiction designed to annoy a small subset of small minded CT readers. It worked.

That is not a crime; it was fun to read the hysteria. Frankly it boggles the mind that anyone could have believed the IKC narrative, it was starkly obvious satire.  It is hard to believe that anyone could have taken the goofy postings as fact.

Deer Friends, the Sheriff’s office was probably well intentioned, and possibly actually believed the IKC silliness.  If they did, it’s mind boggling. Nonetheless, in this instance, the S.O. was in error in even beginning their inquiry unless the complaining e-mail provided some evidence, not conjecture, that a crime had been committed.  

Annoying a CT reader is not a crime. I especially hope that the complaining e-mail included the name of the complainant, and I hope that the assigned investigator conducted an interview of the complainant, and took a sworn statements prior to confronting the fictitious president of the fictitious IKC. Of course all of that should be public record, available to any one who has any interest in the issue. The Sheriff’s office report certainly suggests that it is a closed case.

In this Olde Cop’s opinion, the S.O. allowed itself to be lured into left field by even becoming involved with this silliness. They most certainly should not have handled this matter like a criminal investigation. But they did. We now know from the Detective report that the detective spent substantial time, probably more than one day, on the inquiry. The report suggests that the detective actually travelled to the “suspect” in order to interview him/her. 

Once the investigator concluded that no criminality had occurred, he/she should have packed up and abandoned the inquiry. “Asking” the imaginary president of the imaginary IKC to refrain from posting fiction is contrary to his/our very real right to free speech. The S.O. had no business in “asking” the subject to stop making the postings.

This whole IKC kerfuffle is silliness, and we can’t forget that the IKC president had every right to make those postings, and the S.O. was wrong in “asking” him to stop. It’s a damned shame that the S.O. elected to waste even a single expensive minute of an investigators time on nonsense like this. Excuse me; I’ve got something green scurrying around in my orchid tree that needs .177 attention. I think it might be a squamata that I must introduce to Mr. Crossman.