2013 February

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


(Editor: Oops I lost the menu fiddling around in the cloud. I’ll get it back this Thursday. Please use the above one until then.)



[IKC Under Investigation] Why did the Detective have to mention the IKC President’s wife and family business in his report he sent to the cat rescue ladies at S.H.A.R.K.? Was it to create bad feelings in the community against them? They had nothing to do with the IKC and they probably didn’t even know about the President’s musings. Posting bullshit is not a crime and should not be investigated.


an_orchid grow


Orchid growers reveal the secrets of their lush hobby. Link

When Kander Bluff, President of the Iguana Killers Club, answered a knock on his front door there was a plain clothed MCSO deputy standing there. The deputy identified himself as Detective Dumber who asked to come in so that he could talk to the President in private. Once inside both President Bluff and Detective Dumber sat at the dining room table. Bluff noticed that the detective was open-carrying some type of semi-automatic firearm on his belt and the detective had laid a pile of papers on the table. Bluff observed that on the top page was a color photo of the President himself. Bluff figured that the gun and photo must have been some type of instant intimidation technique. Dumber explained to Bluff that the reason for his visit was that he had received a complaint about Bluff killing 6 cats and had posted on the Coconut Telegraph about the dead cats. Bluff admitted (confessed) to Dumber that he had in fact made that post. Bluff went on to explain that he himself had not executed any cats as of that day. Bluff also explained to Dumber how the IKC operates within the Lower Keys. Dumber seemed satisfied with the statements that Bluff had made and thanked Bluff for his time and cooperation with this matter. As Dumber was leaving Bluff presented the detective with an honorary lifetime membership card to the IKC. There was no water boarding involved although it will take several months for Bluff’s thumbnail to grow back. Heck, what’s one thumbnail when you are standing up for your 1st Amendment right to freedom of speech.


[Message from IKC’s Former President] This is for real, no bullshit. I got a request from Team Wild TV that wants to come to the Keys with a camera crew to film the I KC shooting Iguanas. 

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[Cops at the flea market] I’ve been puzzled by the sheriff at the flea market on Saturdays. I’ve seen them there every time, and I’m not sure why – they aren’t directing traffic (but sometime their parked cars block the view getting out). Most times I’ve just seen them texting or talking behind the trailer by US1. I haven’t seen them patrolling the market grounds. Is there some history that has them at the Flea Market like last years ‘assault’ on one of the vendors? I suspect there’s some history because there’s no obvious reason for them to be there.
[Weight Limit] I spoke to an agent in Key West who was booking harbor tours.  She told me that two Jersey women wanted to take a Duck Tour but had to be turned away because they exceeded the weight limit of the water craft.
No knead bread recipe. Link

an deer target[IKC] Where can I send my membership fee? I also have never killed a living thing, but I have a wrist rocket and two  air pistols that I use to scare the Canada Geese off my lawn in the spring, summer and fall. I’m a card carrying member of the CGKC (Canada Geese Killers Club) here in Canada.  When I stay at our place in the Keys during the winter months I  find myself constantly dodging white plops and coconuts from the members of the SBKC (Snow Birds Killers Club), mostly made up of iguanas, gulls, pelicans, and coconut trees. I admire how well organized the club members are in the Keys, as they’re much better aimers than me, obviously due to training at the meetings.  Anyway, if I can join the IKC maybe it’ll help me scare the iguanas away from the community pool and off the balcony walls. At least I’ll  feel like I’m in a fair fight. If they have really good target training though, I’ll have to adjust my aim since I’d be devastated if I ever actually hit an iguana, or goose, or coconut tree.

Drones across U.S. skies closer to reality. Link


[Dead Birds] Wow, that lengthy rant about how many bird deaths are a result of so many other things other than outdoor cats is just the kind of deluded in-denial thinking that reinforces other cat lovers into believing that is not inherently wrong to allow their outdoor cats to keep killing our wildlife. I wonder how many outdoor cats that ranter has.



[Gun Stickers] Cindy at the Flea Market says these gun stickers are selling like hotcakes! 

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[The irony of President’s Day] Sitting presidents don’t have time to buy furniture on sale.

Key Deer Refuge leading guided trail walks. Link

fine-woodworking-ad 1.7.13

Do you guys just not get it or what the IKC is fictitious, made up, jeez, if you don’t like it don’t read it.


[N.J. Crook] Tyrone Harris, 26, reported for his first shift at Dunkin’ Donuts in Morristown, N.J., in January and received his name tag. Seven minutes later, according to police, he was on his way out the door with $2,100 from his supervisor’s desk. Apparently, the supervisor had opened his drawer a little too far when reaching for the name tag, giving Harris a glimpse of the cash.


[Raping the Keys] Aquarium suppliers face illegal harvesting charges. Link

[IKC Meanies] It is very sad that so many of you think that killing animals or writing about killing animals is entertaining or funny in any way. To write about it, one has to at least think about it. It shows everyone what you are about.

[IKC News] There will be an emergency meeting of the Iguana Killers Club this evening at 7pm at the clubhouse on Dead Cat Lane in Marathon. Please pass this on to other members. We need to start the process to elect a new President and to continue the good fight against exotic pests in the Keys. Bring your pellet guns as there are rumors that the Cat Ladies will try to disrupt this important meeting.


Some people may find South Park offensive, but I laughed for a couple of days over Mr. Garrisons explanation of the evolution of man:  “You are the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish squirrel.” 

[Sewers] Grants available to finance Marathon sewer laterals. Link



[IKC] Not everyone agrees that the Sheriff wasted time investigating the IKC posts. Animal abuse is not funny. I would skip and scroll over the IKC posts when they appeared, but am grateful they’ll be gone. Too many people are not joking when they talk about the horrible things they do to animals, it’s sickening. The S.H.A.R.K. poster inquiring about the IKC was doing the right thing, they are here to help animals. And, any investigation by the Sheriff was warranted in my opinion. I’m grateful there are people out there who are willing to get involved. Good riddance IKC. Thank you to those who intervened.

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I almost joined the NRA once upon a time.  One of best things I never did.

Springers-Prime-Rib00     Doerfels-at-Springers

Prime Rib Dinner    Live Music


Some Seniors could get local property tax breaks. Link



[“I have 4 retired former feral tomcats”]  Are you saying that you have those cats inside your house and that they don’t damage carpet, furniture or the like, plus use a litter box? I’d have to see it to believe it.

Raccoons can be very destructive.  If they decide to nest in your attic they will tear up whatever they think will make good nesting material.  If they smell anything they consider edible they’ll rip through anything they can’t open to get at it. They’re known for washing their food, but they are the filthiest animals I’ve had nest anywhere, they poop anywhere and everywhere and it’s usually as big as good-sized dog poop.  They don’t usually attack people, unless cornered or sick, but they can bite and tear up a cat or dog.


[Politically Correct] It’s a sad day when people (IKC) can’t joke about invasive critters and have to feel the wrath of the cat people.



Blimp up, Zaza’s down? Where are the crack investigative bloggers for which the CT has become world famous? We want to know the scuttlebutt on these things. I know folks aren’t out fishing – the wind has been miserable

If you are going to act like a turd go lay in the yard.



Deer Ed, I saw this and thought of your “technical difficulties” days.

[Flipper Eddie] I am a Conch that was born on Pond Lane, BPK. I happened to be thinking about Eddie Hobson, aka Flipper Eddie, who was like a father to me, and Googled his nickname which I found here. He was a friend of my mothers’ (Kathleen Rich) and lived a couple streets down from us off Key Deer Blvd. My name is Noah Salak, and if you saw a skinny little kid with Coke bottle glasses hanging out with Flipper Eddie in the 80’s and 90’s it was me! LOL. I miss him horribly, as he died in the late 90’s in Costa Rica. I would not be the same without him, despite his disability he had the kindest heart I have ever encountered, and helped out a lonely and troubled little kid to the best of his ability. He even taught me how to build my own bike from spare parts by the time I was about 6 years old.

To me, this man who was born in West Virginia, is the perfect Conch, no ifs, ands or buts. If anyone has any stories about him or pictures of him please share them with me. I would like to write a tribute to one of the best men I have ever known. “Flipper” Eddie Hobson.


[Mr. Animal Killer, please present some factual data to support your claims or be quiet and let the animals of the Keys live in peace”] Factual data: Aviary kill by feral cats. Cut and pasted from a Google search. Yup that’s right. 4 billion birds killed by cats both domesticated and feral each year. Got to love those bird killing cats.

One study has concluded that feral cats are annually responsible for the deaths of hundreds of millions of birds. Some of the birds are common species, such as cardinals, blue jays, and house wrens, but others are rare and endangered species, such as piping plovers and Florida scrub jays. And in addition to this avian Holocaust, feral cats are believed to kill more than a billion small mammals, such as rabbits, squirrels, and chipmunks annually.

And those are just the resulting slaughter committed by feral cats. When you factor in “pet” cats which are allowed outdoor access, the figures climb much higher. According to one study, the average outdoor “house” cat kills an average of 35.5 birds each year. If you multiply that figure by the estimated number of outdoor pet cats in the country the staggering total is over four billion birds killed by cats each year! (A more conservative study put the annual number of bird deaths per cat at just 15.5 per year — along with 41 other small animals. But that still leaves a “low” estimate of 1.75 billion bird fatalities per year.)

In addition to being killing machines, cats (both domestic and feral) also wreak havoc on the environment with their waste matter, which can get into rivers and oceans (much of the time through poor human disposal practices). One study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) determined that toxoplasmosis entering the water from infected cat feces kills thousands of marine mammals (such as California sea lions, sea otters, porpoises, and dolphins) especially in combination with another parasite, Sarcocystis neuroma.

Yup you got to love those killing machine cats.



The Great Shark Count off S. Fl shores. Link

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FWC suddenly tables fish protections. Link

The demise of the IKC is premature. I’ve been a card-carrying member since 2008 and will continue to maintain the club house until we can elect a new president. As far as I know our 2013 Exotic roundup is still scheduled for the summer. I will keep you posted as things progress.

an spin guns dog


[Concealed weapons permit] This pizza place offers 15% off if you have a concealed weapons permit or show you openly carry. How about it Daddy Bones? Will you match it? Link

[IKC] I’ve got to hand it to the guy, it was a pretty convincing rouse. It had me fooled. I thought IKC existed. I guess it’s more proof about the adage of ‘idle time …” Maybe he could start writing or telling stories for a living.


[“No Name Key people don’t want power in order to sell their homes”] Ha, just wait and see how many for sale signs go up in the months after they get power. Their next battle will be to develope the island and build more homes.


Assault rifles are big business in Fla. as Federal Ban looms.  Link

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[“The ACLU should investigate the detective“] Oh please, you need to get a life even more than the IKC guy.

[Power=For Sale] I laugh when I hear people say that the folks who want power on No Name Key are just doing it so they can make money on their investment. The real proof of this accusation will be seen when they get power. If true, then all of those hidden agenda people will immediately list their houses for sale. 

an hero



Local war hero gets brand new home. Support the troops! Link

[IKC] So the IKC was just an old man with nothing better to do than trolling the Coconut Telegraph. I hope that someday when I reach retirement age I will have more important things to do with the time I have left than trying to aggravate my neighbors. What a sad person he must be to think that that his posts were entertaining. 


[Saved by the Gun] A Myrtle Beach woman was accosted in The Bagel Factory’s parking lot Friday morning. A man opened her car door, demanded her money, and shoved her into the other seat. When she kicked him in self-defense, he told her she was dead. The victim opened her glove box, pulled out her pistol and pointed it at the suspect. He immediately withdrew from the car and fled. The victim was not harmed, but the suspect did leave behind a silver lock-blade knife.



[Backing in] I was at the WD and spent about 5 minutes waiting for this guy to back his huge truck into a parking space. I am convinced this is some kind of macho thing handed down through generations of rednecks. I have never seen a woman back in to a space. 

[IKC pervert]  Anyone who thinks this guy is funny should have their brain examined. He is a very demented creep. 

No Name people did not want electric to sell our houses. We wanted electric just to piss off Putney.

an trellis path2


Garden Walk. The 2013 Upper Keys Garden Walk kicks off at 10 a.m. on Friday, Feb. 22. This popular annual event will once again lets us wander onto private properties that have very diverse gardens, ranging from the lovingly hand-tended to the professionally-designed and maintained. Link

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Jane Fonda in 1973 went to Vietnam and caused the death and beatings of several POW’s. Jerry is the friend that was beaten severely when he spit in her face because she was a traitor. She is considered by Obama as one of the most important women of the century. I was off Vietnam on the USS Enterprise just before that. She is hated by all Vietnam vets.

If you allow your cat to run loose you don’t really love it.  You don’t really know what love is, actually. 

Doesn’t anyone but me see how hard it is to read the Radio Shack ad. Get rid of the back ground pictures. I thought you’d want to know. (Ed: I guess my creative genius needs more work. I’ll talk to Kevin about changing his ad. Thanks for letting me know.)


I thought the mug shot of Kander Bluff posted yesterday was hilarious. I am still laughing and I might have pissed my pants. It was interesting to read that the agency/office listed Katie Bently as the arresting officer. Bently was the one that filed the criminal complaint against Kander Bluff with the MCSO. Bently works for some kind of animal rescue group in the Keys. She really got her panties in a wedge over a post on the CT. Now she is going to get her panties pulled even tighter when she gets her copy of the law suite being filed against her and the MCSO by the IKC. (post needs a jpeg of tight panties)

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.  ~Lily Tolmlin 

Shootcats19[Captain Doom and Gloom]  “Computer Security” 102 just unplug the damn thing, idiot!

“R.I.P. IKC” Geez people, where is your sense of humor? People should take this happening as a warning, there are too many dumbed down airheads out there ready to blame anyone for anything that annoys them or rocks their boat. We have been conditioned to hate one another and it is working. These nits vote too, if that means anything anymore!?

“detective actually spent the time researching sarcastic posts” And how did he get the poster’s information? Zig Hail CT!

“I  will NOT look  forward to a box store going into Rockland Key” because it will kill off all local shops in the lower Keys and KW, and open the door for the developers to destroy our islands. When that type of merchant starts eyeing the territory, the land vultures follow to build up the customer base with low rent housing and they trash all they touch! Keep what is left of the Keys, the Keys or lose it all to greed and corruption. What we need are more Ducks, Ferris Wheels, Popcorn Stands and Carney Types. Yeah right!

“How did detective get IKC email address” There  is no way the investigator could get the posters ISP address unless he knew the source code of the email post to the CT or to other receivers. If so that means this site might be tapped! Ouch!


Obama killed 4 times as many terrorist with drone attacks then Bush did in half the time? And with less American lives lost. Hell, I’m a Democrat and I applaud that. Very well done Mr. President. Why is a Republican poster so upset Obama allowed the killing of more terrorists? Strange lot, them.

Who died before they collected Social Security? Link 
Ben Carson owes no apology for honest talk. Link
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Group of Second Amendment-supporting gun makers now refusing to sell arms to law enforcement in New York and other gun-restricting states. Link



Meanwhile, in Texas, following passage of Concealed Carry Laws in the Lone Star State, the murder rate plummeted by 33%, robbery decreased by 20%, rape decreased by 18%, aggravated assault decreased by 15%, Texas permit-holders are 6 times less likely to commit violent crime, 14 times less likely to commit non-violent crime, and 28 times less likely to commit murder. Oh, and if you do murder in Texas–you’re dead.

I’m sorry you find my relentless political post annoying. I find your ignorance in the matter appalling and your support of tyrannical politicians offensive!



Our guns at Wounded Knee. Link

[“Drill, Baby, Drill!] I do understand that most folks feel the president has nothing to do with the cost of gas. I’m sure there’s some truth to that. I am also sure that our President could approve the Keystone pipeline, open all federal land to drilling & fracking. I do understand some of the concerns of the green folks. Let me share a different view.

If we don’t refine the Keystone crude it will go to China. If China refines it we have no say about what our how they refine it. China has none of our safeguards. They will do much more damage to our water and air than we would.  Then there’s the ocean tankers that must transport the crude to China. They not only pose the possibility of an oil spill, but will make tons of green house gas with there exhaust. We have so much oil and natural gas here in America there’s no need for us to hurt like we are hurting. We can also use the jobs. Even if the fuel remained high priced, the money would be spent with us. Not with folks that hate us and would like to covert us to Islam or cut our heads off. It’s a win win. You just don’t see that enough these days. It sounds so simple because it is. We will be a carbon based world for many, many years.


right only grey

an fill old carYesterday a poster wrote that during the GWB years gas was more expensive than it is now. (Here comes the backspin) Actually he has a point, but not much of a point. It looks like the price of gas reached its historic peak in of June of ‘08. But, unlike Obama, GWB did something about it. He issued executive orders and pushed legislation that resulted in the price of gas plummeting to $1.80 after just a few months.  When Obama took office gas was about $1.80 a gallon. After 4 years of Obama, gas is about twice as expensive as when he took office. Obama has done nothing to decrease the price of gas. Bush wanted lower energy prices and did something about it. Obama and the Democrats want gas prices to go even higher.

CNBC noted the national average was the highest ever for the time of year on Feb. 1, 2013. The price of gas is expected to continue to rise under Obama. It’s a difference of philosophy. GWB knew that lower gas prices helped our economy. In contrast, Obama is in favor of higher gas prices. We know that because he told us. Before he was appointed Obama’s Energy Secretary, Steven Chu, famously said: “Somehow we have to figure out how to boost the price of gasoline to the levels in Europe.” After making that comment, Chu was selected by Obama to be his Energy Secretary.  When Chu’s statement became widely known it created a firestorm of criticism.  Ultimately, Chu folded and rescinded his remarks. But then, in a February 2012 article in Politico reported that in December 2008, the Journal reported that Chu “has called for gradually ramping up gasoline taxes over 15 years to coax consumers into buying more-efficient cars.  Well his wishes have come true. Obama has been Prez for 4 years, gas prices have ramped up. Then there is the fact that Obama, during an interview was asked about the meteoric increase in price of gas. Obama responded that he would “preferred” that the increases be more gradual.

Part 2) Republicans and Democrats both have their shorts in a wad over the upcoming sequestration.  Let’s think about it. The idea for sequestration came from Obama, he figured that because defense would take a big hit, the Republicans would cave. He was wrong.  Obama, about a year ago, threatened to veto any bill that would circumvent the sequester, his idea.  Today Obama is calling on Democrats to pass a bill that would circumvent sequester.  We are told that the cuts mandated by sequestration will be a total of about $85 billion.  Deer Friends that is chump change, a rounding error, it is only about 5% of the budget.  Bring it on. We will survive and thrive by stopping spending a nickel out of every dollar that we spend. We will survive and thrive by not further driving up our debt.


Part 3) Pennsylvania’s Governor Tom Corbett took office in 2011. Shortly after he took office he discovered that thousands of criminals in prisons and jails throughout the state were collecting unemployment insurance. It had been going on for years. Corbett put in place programs to end the swindle.  He saved his constituents at least $18 million dollars a year.  Did I mention that Corbett is a Republican?