2014 January

Monday, January 13, 2014

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[Cuba Sex] Man -are you a dirt bag. You want to go to Cuba for sex with young school girls? When I go to Cuba I give away money, medical aid, educational aid and the few times I was approached by women I just tell them no thank you and give them ten bucks. Try being a human being.

nira tocco realtor 9.12
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toilet no seat

I sailed to Cuba years ago (Clinton administration), and hired a prostitute as a translator. She definitely had the best English of anyone around. She taught school during the day and moonlighted at night in order to buy things from the Dollar Stores – like shampoo that washed out of her hair and toilet paper – that were not available in the normal Cuban shops. She was saving up for a toilet seat, so if you go, pack accordingly. 

[Cheesepocalypse] Recreational marijuana is legalized in two states and suddenly there is a Velveeta shortage. Coincidence? Link
isaksen-flood-roof 4.23.13

[“The fading away of the grinder pump issue”] On some points you are right the government knows that if they wait long enough the issue will fade and they will finish the sewers with, what I consider, the worst possible system we can get. It will only take one Wilma or Georges to prove that, in the meantime the taxpayer is screwed as there are to many pumps to jump start and other emergencies to attend to. What stance will the taxpayer have when the sewer is backing up into their home? Why should the homeowners insurance be responsible to make the repairs to the contaminated home, and only up to $5000, when the citizens have spoken against the system. What about those of us who do not have insurance? Can we sue the county commission for damages? No my friends we can not, and here is why: Uncle George is termed out. He is done, he is at the end of his 4 terms, he is the longest sitting commissioner and his district is the last to get sewers. How convenient for him. He has no care or concern for the people he was supposed to serve. Yes he is to serve us, not we to them. He only spoke when it was politically advantageous for him. Now is he back peddling on the grinder pump issue, hence the 9 am meeting for the last hurrah on the sewer decision. Why not, he has nothing to lose. He has sewers and they’ve been in at his house for a few years.

All the commissioners live in sewered districts. Why should they care what we have or have not, they want the issue done with so they can move on to new business. I did not live here for the last election, if I did I would have voted for Sloan. It is the basic apathy of the American people that have caused not only this problem but some many more that concern our great nation. Please do not give up on the sewer issue. Hold our commissioners accountable. Call, email or text, all county commissioners No grinder pumps!



The annual Florida Keys Seafood Festival is coming this weekend. Come down and enjoy the fest. Fanci Seafood will be serving delicious conch fritters! FKSF_Poster-2014 2 

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peyote-lavender13[Screw Weed] It is for amateurs, so let’s get down to the real world stuff, peyote. One of the most powerful and rarest natural hallucinogens. The holy sacrament peyote (lophophora williamsii) is a spineless cactus native to the Rio Grande Valley of New Mexico and Texas, and to north-central Mexico. It is used by real heads to get where the other junk can’t take them. Where’s the Peyote Bar & Grill going to be built in the Keys? Horse is no good, speed is bent, coke is a soda and any other dope is for dopes. Link
Not a good time to vacation in Bangkok,Thailand. People are taking to the streets to get the corrupt Prime Minister to leave. Link

cannibal man in pot waving

[Today’s special: Leg of Man] Cannibal in Central African Republic ate man’s leg as ‘revenge’ for his family’s murder. A Christian man ate a Muslim. Why can’t we all get along. Link

Like everything else, Kleenex has screwed us too. It used to be 100 tissues in a box, now it is only 85 and some say they are recycled toilet paper!


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No Pants Subway Ride Day. Link

Why go to Cuba for sex when Costa Rica is easier to get to and they have actual brothels. Cuba doesn’t. You have to pick up a tart on the street and pay the full room rate to take her to yours or go to her location which could be dangerous. In Costa Rica the tart only has to show her tart ID at the desk in order to take her to you room. I would skip Cuba as a sex destination.
Fellow citizens, please stay alert and stay engaged on the grinder pump issue. And attend the BOCC meeting on Jan 31st if your schedule allows. If sewers are important enough to be done, they are important enough to be done right. Many areas that are slated for grinders can and should get gravity systems. Gravity system is better for the environment and cheaper in the long run.

jury duty


Jury duty is a big inconvenience. I usually throw away the summons, but when I did this year I got a letter from the State judicial system demanding me to do this or that. I wrote them a letter saying I didn’t receive the summons and I’d be glad to serve, just tell me when. That was two months ago. I haven’t heard from them since. I hope I don’t. Yes, I know it’s my duty. I do think it would be fairer if they selected jurors by driver’s licenses instead of voting registration as the do now. Not that many people vote. If you work at Kmart and need a jury of your peers, most of your peers don’t vote. How is that fair? Do they mean Peers as in the English royalty thing or just regular equals? If they select from drivers I wouldn’t get called every year or so.

[“Peyote Way Church of God”] My friend had peyote hanging to dry on lines strung across this bedroom. He said the dreams were so intense he had to sleep in the living room.
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magnifying glass search[Search Feature Soon Come] (Ed: This month marks the Coconut Telegraph’s twelfth year. In about a month we’re going to add a search window so you can find articles or pictures and recipes within We’re also changing the theme from Nothing With Changing Pictures At The Top to Autumn Colors With Changing Pictures At The Top [until we learn how to make tropical colors]. The search feature is the big deal. I hope it works.) 
Does anyone know what I should add to powdered water?
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map route


So You Think You Know Geography? Just click where you think the city is and the plane will land there, then it will show where the city actually is! (Warning – it can become addictive!) Link 

Celtic Festival. Big waste of time and money. $30? Really?
[Cuts in the Mangroves on Summerland or Cudjoe] Does anyone know why there are about 20 foot sections cut out of the mangroves on the north side between the road and the new bike paths going in?  Are these for the billboards?  Surely not?



Quantum Key West 2014 will take place on Jan 19-24. North America’s first major regatta of the winter season. This spectacular event presents world-class competition over five full race days. Entering its 27th year, race week offers exceptional racing and fun shoreside parties in wonderful Key West.

[Zoo Keepers] A friend works as a physiotherapist in a large prison system up north. She tells me how pitiful inmates are and most are true mental cases. All hate themselves, then society, then their parents, then their associates. None have the ability to exist in a One Human Family world without harming someone or themselves. She said it was a fruitless career. 
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hooker lampost[Cuba Sex] You don’t have to go to Cuba for sex. Any where you go outside the Prudish States of America you’ll find a thriving sex trade. Many countries have brothels. Sex is only ‘dirty’ in the USA. You don’t go to a country for sex, you go to a country you’ve always want to go to and the sex is there as a bonus. If you want to go to a country for sex go to Thailand. Bangkok is the undisputed sex capital of the world. There is a street – like Amsterdam – in the Nana Entertainment Plaza area where the girls all wearing numbers. You walk down the busy street and they’ll be ten or twelve lovelies in evening gowns standing in front of a place, and at another place the girls will be in sarongs and so forth down the line on both sides of the street. Hundreds of lovelies all beckoning to you.  Inside, the girls all dance above the bars at the same time in various stages of undress, but there is always something left on so you can see their number in case you want to rent them for a little while or longer, or for the whole week. Other bars have hawkers in front with crude signs listing all the novelties their girls can do. Tricks you’ve never imagined. I walked in one bar and got hit in the chest with a chunk of banana. The girl shot it out of her you-know-what. I got a laugh from a hawker bragging about his girls’ tricks when I asked him if any of them could shoot a basketball (I don’t know if double entendres work in Thai). 

I just took that Political Quiz and it said I was a welfare sucking redneck who probably lives on Big Pine Key in Florida. Damn, that’s a good quiz!



This leopard isn’t as sexy as the naked lady ‘couger’ in a tree from yesterday, but I like this one better. They’re both dangerous.

As much as I like any new bar and restaurant to make it here, it seems as though they would learn from those who have done the same and found out that you can’t make the food so expensive. Three couples I have suggested they try Kiki’s have told me they were “too pricey”. One got oysters and said they were so terrible and sweet potatoes fries are cooked too much,which I experienced also.
I’m getting sick and tired of people crying the blues because they were persecuted. After fifty years of having to listen to them bitching and moaning for free this and that, it is time to stop the bull shit. Nobody has done anything to you cry babies in the last several generations so go out a get a damn job and get off our backs!



[Captain Doom and Gloom] If everyone in the world earned exactly the same money per hour than half would be Security Guards and the other half Antique Watchers.

Why are the Rich rich? Because they have the brains to do so or their parents did. How rich you are tells you something or should!

Mosquito Control is basically doing its job, but why can’t they increase their scope to all the bugs and vermin in the Keys. They have the equipment to spread stuff the insects and bad animals will eat to sterilize them, right?

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from the right

My thanks to D for taking the time to drop a note suggesting further comment on the unemployment rate. D is absolutely correct in his suggestion that the unemployment rate as usually published today is wildly misleading.  I trust you will note that many of mainstream talking heads seem proud as peacocks that the unemployment rate declined last month to under 7%, 6.7% to be precise. It declined even though the number of people with jobs actually plummeted by about 143K.  How can that be? Was there a mass die off of American workers?

No, the number of Americans continue to increase as the number of those with jobs decrease. The most influential factor in the decline in the percentage was the massive increase in the number of persons who have quit even looking for work.

Team Obama’s Bureau of Labor Statistics measures the unemployment percentage using several different methods, they report it as U1 – U6. I urge you to take a look at the BLS chart to be found at Link. That chart will give you an idea how convoluted is the measuring process is. The chart tells us that the U3 for December was 6.7%, a substantial decline from Novembers U/E rate, even though there were far fewer persons with jobs than there were in November.

u3-14Obama acolytes are giddy at the insanely misleading news. The only measure that gets any attention is U3.  That percentage does not even take into account workers who have not even bothered to look for work in the past month simply because they believe there are not jobs available. The U6 measurement takes more data into consideration, and it tells us that the unemployment rate is 13.1%

Prior to the Clinton administration those workers who have been “discouraged” more than a year were also counted. But Clinton did away with that metric, so that now those “discouraged” persons are invisible.

There are many economists who believe that the only true measure of our employment is to divide the number of persons with jobs by the actual number of persons who are not retired and are able to work. Those economists tell us that equation will give us the only meaningful look at our unemployment percentage. Those same economists tell us that percentage is currently in excess of 20%.

udallPart 2)  There is a scandal brewing in Colorado.  It involves Democrat Colorado Senator Mark Udall. It is reported that Udall’s office was incensed at the outrageously high number of health insurance cancellations as a result of Democare  in Colorado as reported by that states Department of Insurance. It is worth noting that Udall is/was an ardent supporter of Obama and Democare. According to Colorado Department of Insurance staffers, Udall’s office tried to pressure them to drastically lower their reported number of  Coloradans who had had their health insurance cancelled as a result of Democare.

Udall is standing for reelection in ’14 and the accusation is that  Udall and his team are working to manipulate the numbers so they don’t look as bad for Obamacare or for him.

Or, maybe Udall or his staff’s inhibitions were blunted by Colorado’s newly legal cannabis.

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