2015 March

Monday, March 16, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

ides of march16
The ides of March are upon us.
beer leprechaun
[Saint Patrick’s Day Bike Roll] Join in the fun on Tuesday, March 17th. Meeting at Coconuts. The rolling down the road to Bistro and Springers
Green accessories and attire encouraged for you and your bike. See you there! (Ed: no time submitted)
Regarding the restaurants on Big Pine Key. I had enjoyed many meals at The Big Pine Restaurant and had some great food and times at Springers. Unfortunately I am not living on Big Pine currently as was sorry to hear of the closure of the Big Pine Restaurant. I have been in the restaurant business for over 30 years and I too bought distressed restaurants and built them up and sold them. I always considered myself in the restaurant business as opposed to the food service business. Looking at the Big Pine Restaurant with an asking price of $1.25 million, I know it would be almost impossible to make a go of it for the average person. Bistro 31 with an asking price of $180,000.00 for the business, depending on the rent, you may be able to make it. Opening a restaurant is more than just serving good food. Your staff can make you or break you. A great server and honest bartender are gold in this business. Many people look at it and see paying $25.00 for a meal that you could make at home for $10.00 as $15.00 profit for the restaurant. They fail to realize that everything down to the toilet paper in the restroom comes out of that $25.00 meal. Many restaurant operators would love to realize a 10-20% profit on that meal, $2.50-$5.00, 20% if you’re doing real good, after rent, payroll, insurance, etc. Just a few thoughts from a Stupid Fat Man Living the Dream who enjoys the CT.
Long time Big Piner who now lives in Jamaica, Afro, is showing his latest paintings at Blue Haven in Key West daily in the afternoons and evenings.
Well the old farmer has to stand up for Kiki’s….been there 5 times since Feb 1st and it is great. Never had a problem with the staff and the specials are just the best price in the Keys…just go by on a Thursday for the best smoky rib sandwich or Friday for yellowtail and chips or Monday for just the most wonderful meat loaf we have ever had. and all ways friendly and great view back towards Big Pine. Just saying!
[Phishing] “Donation was made to you, for more details kindly contact this email …”
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Forked-tongue Flag
at the entrance to the canal that goes to the Little Torch boat ramp.
My comment to “ramp up staff for the high season” I suppose can be translated to “offer higher wages to attract quality workers”!
To visit a local restaurant or bar during high season and to have to wait a long time to get served, or to be ignored once you are served, or to try to catch the bartenders attention to order another drink is the epitome of poor customer service!! And, sorry to say, stupid, on the behalf of the business owner.
It should be a standing policy that really good waitstaff will be paid $5/hour MORE during the three winter months. Then see how difficult it will be to attract great workers…not at all.
I have not the slightest doubt in the world a good waitstaff person could generate an extra $50/ hour in revenue for the business compared to the typical understaffed, overworked hurried employees we mostly run into.
I am not slamming the local businesses..I love them and I don’t want to see them fold. They have a captive audience for at least three months of the year…make the most of it!
ps comments above are not limited to just restaurants and bars… all (local)
retail businesses fall short in this area
The Dome Home is taking shape on Colson Drive–if you call that a shape. It looks more like a monastery or mosque in the making. That would have worked on a island off the coast, but it sure screws up the hood where it is at! When are the prayer towers being delivered? Will that look like a big pair of boobs from the satellite?
The Florida Keys blackbead tree (Pithecellobium keyense) is a native species of small tree that grows in the understory of hardwood hammocks and recently was removed from the threatened list. The largest one, which is located in Monroe County, is only 13 feet tall, 15 inches in circumference and has a 15-foot spread, according to the nonprofit conservation group American Forests’ National Register of Big Trees.
blackbead-treeIt is wider than it is tall. Think of yourself as a small wood sprite crawling in the dark labyrinth of the branches. It would be a great adventure movie for 13-year-old boys. The branches of this small tree are dark, twisty and mysterious. The bark is dark gray with shallow fissures, just enough to hold on to as you hoist yourself into its heights.
The leaves emerge from short stems and terminate in opposite linear leaves, two or three sets of leaflets grace each stem. New leaf growth is pinkish.
The flowers are glorious pink or white 1-inch globes, each filament tipped with golden yellow. They burst into bloom throughout the year and saturate the air with fabulous aroma, drawing insects to the plant. Butterflies especially love the nectar. The Cassius blue, Florida duskywing, Florida white, giant swallowtail, great southern white, large orange sulphur, Miami blue, southern broken-dash, five different kinds of skippers and other butterflies feed on this ecologically valuable tree.
It is the larval host plant for the Cassius blue and large orange sulphur. It does its job for these butterflies, but top on the list is Tom Wilmer, Katie Lyons and Paula Cannon’s discovery reported in The Citizen on Jan. 15, 2010, of a large colony of Miami blue butterflies on Boca Grande Key.
The Miami blue is a rare species that was thought to be extirpated from the Florida Keys, then it was found in Bahia Honda State Park, only to not have been seen again after the cold spell of 2010. The original population of 40 was released in areas where the butterflies were thought to thrive, such as in the Key West Tropical Forest & Botanical Gardens, but they did not do well in any of their release areas.
Cannon observed them laying eggs on the buds of the blackbead tree. In December 2009, Cannon decided to explore other offshore islands and headed for the Marquesas about 15 miles from Boca Grande Key. “I was not there 10 minutes when I sighted my first Miami blue,” she said. Cannon continued on to the Marquesas Keys and visited several other islands. She found seven islands that were home to Miami blues. “Clearly it was the dominant butterfly species on the Marquesas islands. The Miami blue were both ovipositing (laying eggs) and nectaring on the lush pink or white flowers of the blackbead trees,” she said.
If this was not enough, the blackbead tree pops a splendid thin fruit pod, 4 inches to 5 inches long. Because of the pod’s narrow, curved shape, the plant has been called “monkey earrings” or “ram’s horn.” Inside the reddish brown pod are black seeds with a sweetish red aril. Birds go for the red aril that is attached to the ¼-inch black seed. They swallow the seed and fly off to deposit it elsewhere. If seeds are gathered directly from the tree they can be strung into necklaces or bracelets.
It provides a home for gall wasps. Blackbead can withstand short periods of flooding, drought and salt wind. It likes full sun and nutrient-poor soils with excellent drainage. Blackbead, an undistinguished citizen of the hammock, plays a key element in nature’s mysterious cycles. Plant blackbead to attract the Miami blues back to Key West. You’ll get a big bang for your buck.
music16[Marathon Seafood Festival] I enjoyed this woman’s set Sunday afternoon but being a musician, my ears perked up when I heard a keyboard playing prominently in her song but there was no keyboard player on stage.
Prior to that I thought I heard a steel guitar but again, no steel, just bass, drums, acoustic guitar and electric.
I also heard big vocal harmony while she was singing but no one else was at the mike. Apparently she was playing back up tracks along with her live band!
This is usually done to beef up weak live performances, which she doesn’t have so I’m surprised she chose that route. It does a disservice to the concept of live music as well as show lack of confidence in her band.
And yes I’m aware there are vocal harmonizes and guitar effects that can mimic other instruments but that was not the case, as least not to my ears and eyes as well as another musician friend who heard the same thing.
Ever notice when politicians are in their office or on a board, they tend to have the expression of total contempt for whomever they are talking to? Why is that?
I bought a window shade online and it cam in this very big box. What a waste. The shade extended through the box and they had to put a tape extension to accommodate it’s length.
Wonder how the Missile Base under Cudjoe Key’s Mt Trashmore and Sewer Processing Plant is coming along?
The season is almost over and hopefully the Snuebirds will had nord again and leave us to clean up our Paradise and get back to cheaper prices, empty roads, un-jammed food markets, and empty bar stools. Amen!
The new “unedited” CT seems quite bland. I think, perhaps, Ed’s solution to postings he doesn’t approve of or are objectionable in his eyes, is to completely leave them out of the publication. That way he is not “editing” them. I hope I am wrong.
shark fin pool
Why would someone spend $1000 to $3000 to turn a old septic tank in to a cistern when all you have to do is buy a $100 above ground kiddy pool and let the roof wawa drain into it then over flow into your grounds or canal like it does normally? It makes no sense to spend that kind of money to have to maintain a cistern and the expensive water pump when a simple cheap pool pump will do the same job. I am going to just clean out my septic tank, have it filled with rock and seal it. DONE! No more headaches or expenses!
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wanted2[Wanted] If anyone has any information on any surviving relatives of Edward “Ebby” Branczek, please contact his attorney, Nathan E. Eden, Esq., at 305-294-5588 or via e-mail at
[“Ramp up staff for the high season”] I had a business here once and, like everyone else in a resort area, I had trouble keeping help. I even tried paying wages higher than the competition. That had no effect on keeping them. They were here for the short term no matter what they were paid.
The CT is a hotbed of sewer unrest.
green beerLower Keys Green Drinks 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. Thursday, March 19. Please join us for GLEE’s Lower Keys Green Drinks at The Wharf at 25163 Overseas Hwy., Summerland Key. This month’s topic is “Seas Under Siege: The Battle of Marine Debris.” Our seas and shorelines are filled with man-made items that do not belong in the marine environment. Gabby Renchen from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission’s Fish and Wildlife Research Institute will talk about the basics of marine debris and highlight local issues, such as debris from trap fisheries. She’ll also address marine debris prevention and how we can help through cleanups and legal removal of lost traps.
Green Drinks social hour starts at 5:30 p.m., with the talk following at about 6:30. See you there! Events
I’m aware that many people think that the FKAA has got its head up its ass (I do too, I worked for them) but this is the cherry on top. The other day I saw surveyors on Dorn Rd, Big Torch Key. They admitted they were surveying for a Force Main? There’s NO WATER lines North of US 1 and the electric ends 5 miles up middle & big torch. The total distance from the Hwy to the end is 7.2 miles. I think all the directors & board members should be drug tested after that decision.
This lovely giant hibiscus is about eight inches across and only blooms for a couple of days. We enjoy it while we can.
Havana is about 105 miles from Key West not 90.
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beer19[Imperial and Pilsen Beers] I’ve traveled to Costa Rica three times and for anyone that’s been there, you know they only have two local beers: Imperial and Pilsen. Both are very very good and the last time I visited I went through “mucho problemas” to bring back a 12 pack of Imperial, my favorite.
Now of all places, I find the Winn Dixie is carrying it! Pura vida.
Thank you, Governor Scott, for having your own Attorney General Pam Bondi, paid by our tax dollars, argue on behalf of the British company sending those dollars overseas and leaving us with the costs of services provided to Balfour Beatty privatized  military / civilian  ( yes  , civilian  ) housing.  And for appointing  three judges who will always take the side of Big Business, foreign or domestic, against the citizen property owners and landlords like myself whom you give the shaft to on their behalf.
So how come if I rent to a military person I still have to pay property taxes?  Balfour Beatty is to get off “Scott” free all over Florida if the governor and his cronies  in the legislature get their way?  What a state.
chart stock up
Federal Medical Cannabis Bill Would Eliminate Schedule 1 Status. Cannabis Stocks Rally. Link
Half of all Children Will Have Autism by 2025. Here’s a scary prediction! Link
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fisherman on rockLook up the definition of “fisherman” and John Yates’ wrinkled, weather-beaten. But three years ago, the act reeled in Yates for tossing 72 undersized red grouper into the Gulf of Mexico. The Supreme Court recently found that a Florida fisherman who had disposed of some undersized red grouper did not violate a provision of a federal statute concerned with the retention of business records and that prosecutors had perhaps been overzealous in pursuing the case. Link
[Marthon Journal] During the City Council meeting on March 10, a number of periodic reports were given. Marathon Sheriff Substation Captain Thomas gave stats for the city, arrests and such. Sheriff Rick Ramsay gave surplus funds amounting to about $111,000 back to the City of Marathon.

The search for a Deputy City Manager reporting to City  Manager Mike Puto has begun; applications, job description, and interviews.

There was discussion on bringing Legal in house. Except for Councilman Zeig, most were amendable to the ideas. Total self-sufficiency is good for Marathon. Vice Mayor Senmartin figures ‘in house’ will cost less and get higher quality of services.

There seems some trepidation about a proposed state legislature regulating how close vessels may moor to shore.

Reports under the City Manager section included the outrageous idea to change the periodicity of council meetings from once every three weeks or once a month. It is the responsibility of council to meet at least twice a month to communicate with the residents. Zieg and Kelly are showing their rookie colors. Read the City Charter, which is online at the city website.

The new city hall should be ready for January 2016 opening.

The Wastewater Utility Report shows a 98% connection rate. Finishing the project as soon as possible was a good choice. Others are still in trouble for their lack of progress and stubbornness.

A trip to Tallahassee is planned for March 31st for several councilmembers and such.

Another attorney executive closed session with the councilmembers is scheduled at the next council meeting on March 24th at 4:30 PM at the Marathon Government Center.

Snake Creek Draw Bridge will open upon demand and every hour from March 14, 2015 to January 14, 2016.

Allan Morris brought up the bad intersection at Aviation Boulevard and 2nd Avenue. This has been a problem for quite a while and deserves attention.

Selective hearing
aid for men.
Ed, When are you going to give up on your PC, and get an iMac? Did you notice how many peps pulled-up BPK on an iPhone, and reported no problems? I too, download BPK on my iMac with no problems, and it’s always been that way. End of story. (Ed: On the day you realize that there is no reason for Macs to exist. Steve Jobs realized it and was going to discontinue them when the iPhone was released and changed the world’s mind about Apple.)
The Wreck on Grassy Key. It’s for sale too,
deep fryer9[“Restaurant Closings“]  Where is up here? Cheap sounds like Wisconsin or Michigan. Fried fish came down en masse when northerners bought restaurants without knowing how to cook our fish. Hogfish, snapper, grouper are all excellent when wrapped in foil and cooked with vegatables. We used to fry dolphin because it cooked quick, but dolphin is great grilled. The days of cobia and wahoo being on the menu are limited now — both are grilled like swordfish.Of course you need to grill thick pieces of fish (1” or more) and portion are not that big anymore, the cost is too high. So fry away!
Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
[Lost] I lost my Vermont drivers license on somewhere I believe between Big Pine and Summerland Key yesterday, if found call 603 703 9817, reward.
[Bar Review] We went to a new bar/restaurant in Key West today called Chicago’s. Couldn’t get waited on. Five of us sat at the bar and waited 10 minutes while the 4 bartenders chatted among themselves. Finally yelled at them and walked out. Just opened February. I wonder if it will be there next February. Too many choices in Key West for that kind of service.
[Time Continuum] I am mildly addicted to the Coconut Telegraph and have been so for years! I’m not having any difficulty logging on now. However, today is Friday, March 13, 2015! The date on today’s Coconut Telegraph is Friday March 12th! Perhaps you were just trying to avoid the bad luck associated with Friday the 13th!
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Hey ED today is Friday the 13th, not Friday the 12th!
[“There isn’t any real difference in taste between local fish and tilapia anyway”] I have been fishing down here a long time and usually can tell when a fish is dolphin, yellowtail or tilapia. They do taste different, the texture is different as well as the freshness. Now if you fry and batter the hell out of the fish and smother it with tarter sauce or ketchup, you could be eating an old river carp and would not know the difference.
hareens 12.2.14
[Dolphin Season is Here] If you are lucky enough to run into some dolphin the rest is easy as they practically jump into the boat.
Queen sleeper sofa
$100.00 on Cudjoe Key Call 305-745-3626.
I have been to big pine bike shop great service. Although did not feel was charged enough for the sevice .I was even called back when my bike was done. Thank you Marty and your crew
love robot circut board
[Robot Hookers
] Are you tired of the limited selection of women down here? Now there is no need to get drunk in a bar and try to pick one up. Cheer up! Help is just a keyboard stroke away. Link
[EXPOSED! Wildlife Services Illegal aerial gunning of cougars]
They need another light bulb changer. I gave them your number. Link
A desert rose is a swell plant to grow if you don’t have dirt or water. They don’t need much to grow, and because of that, they grow slow as can be. This one was seen on the seawall by the Little Torch boat ramp. Yeman has the biggest. Link
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Wilko Johnson is like a medieval saint’
There is reason to believe that the Iranian leaders have little or no knowledge of our constitution.” You tell them ftr !! Who doesn’t know that?! Remind me again the reason-I guess I forgot it. It amazes me how stupid everybody in the world is except for us.What are the odds? Respectfully submitted : Someone with a brain.
Much to everyone’s surprise the Iranians replied to the 47 republicans letter. Here it is in it’s entirety.

What we have learned has opened our eyes. For 35 years, we have treated you as an adversary. Our intelligence agencies told us that your culture and your political system were radically different from ours. We now understand that we were misled. Your country is much like ours. Indeed, your Republican Congress is much like our revolutionary Islamic councils. We are brothers.

We were delighted to read this sentence. What you have described—a circle of overseers who work in perpetuity to restrain the president—is very familiar to us. Our president, like yours, is limited to two consecutive four-year terms. His powers are also severely circumscribed. He has a national security council, but he and his council do not establish our nation’s policies.

In our system, true power lies with the chamber that oversees the president. For you, this chamber is the Senate, controlled by your Republican caucus. For us, it is the Council of Guardians. Members of our council, like members of your Senate, serve six-year terms. The council may veto any legislation, which, in its judgment, violates our republic’s guiding body of law. For us, that body of law is Sharia.

Several of your senators spoke there about the abomination of homosexual marriage and the importance of protecting religion. Our assessment is that your senators interpret your Constitution in accordance with the Christian Bible, just as our council applies our Constitution in the light of the Holy Quran. We particularly enjoyed the speech of your senator from Texas, Ted Cruz, who called on your government to fight for Christians abroad. This is in agreement with our own policy of coming to the aid of faithful Muslims everywhere.

Some may consider him too young to assert dominion over your country’s foreign policy, at 37 years of age and with only two years of political experience. But we in Iran appreciate his vigor. He reminds us of the young men who seized your embassy here in 1979, two years after he was born. Those brave young revolutionaries did not wait for guidance from their elders.

In Iran, all educational institutions are governed by our Cultural Revolution Council, which safeguards the faith of the people. We have been unable to locate such a council in your federal government. However, we recently learned that the state board of education in Sen. Cruz’s state, Texas, controls through its purchasing power the content of textbooks throughout your country. The board has used this power to limit the teaching of evolution and promote the celebration of your country as a Christian nation. Our cultural council protects Islam in the same way.

Our system, like yours, has its critics. Some portray our Council of Guardians as unelected ideologues who override the will of the people. The charge is absurd, as your own experience demonstrates. In your country’s three most recent elections, which together produced your Senate’s entire current membership, the other party’s nominees won 5 million more votes than yours did. Nevertheless, you control the chamber. The true will of the people, as you know, is to follow those of us who understand what is best.

Thank you once again for this enlightening exchange. Prompted by your letter, our council has decided to end the talks with your secretary of state and dismiss nuclear inspectors from our country. We look forward to working with you in the future on other matters of common interest, such as prayer, capital punishment, and troops in Iraq.


Council of Guardians
The Islamic Republic of Iran

I bet the Taliban were watching 60 Minutes Sunday and laughing their ass off.[?]
FTR you can try and spin the fact that the Republicans didnt break the Logan act but you will be wrong. Sorry. You may not be as informed as you believe. I challenge every American to read the Logan act and convince anyone that act wasnt broken.
Whats the old saying dont tinkle on my back then try to tell me its raining.
That was an act of treason pure and simple I dont care what FOX programmed into your talking points.
I expect another “Rain shower” will show up tomorrow about the time the CT is posted.
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FTR how did you not know that Pelosi’s trip to Syria was set up thru the Bush administrations state Dept and thru Bushs Defense secretary? That’s not even close to what the Republicans pulled in their Iran letter.
I have a feeling you count on people not checking your supposed facts because you really dropped the ball on that one.
Time to spin out of there.
The American Dream ended (on November 6th, 2012) in Ohio ] Well said and absolutely correct, but a bit late I would say. When the people in power knocked the Tea Party (no, I am not a member) and made them look like a bunch of sick perverts on the media and by spreading bad rumors, I then knew America was under the control of the useless eaters, the greedy merchant class and twisted politicos 100%. The old Old World Order in northern Europe, and those dress warring boyz in the pointed buildings, along with the richest chick on this rock, are back in control. America is falling back to them and another spilling of teas leaves will not in anyway bring us back to the free American Dream we let slip though our anises. The funny part is, they never have let us go in the first place really! They still own most of the lands here, the profits form, and the labor of We the People! Now that the Slaves have come into power, a change will come that most of the planet will suffer through for years to come. It is a blessing to be old!
from the right
LAST FRIDAY A POSTER WROTE: “The CBO which often times is the source FTR uses as gospel has said  President Barack Obama’s fiscal 2016 budget proposal would shrink U.S. deficits by $1.232 trillion over 10 years compared to those expected under current tax and spending laws, the Congressional Budget Office said on Thursday. I figured that wouldn’t make it into the daily rant so I wanted that to be on the daily record. Turn on the spin machine.”

FTR’S RESPONSE: Surprisingly the poster is correct.  As least as far as he/she went. The poster failed to note that the CBO report also stated that those savings could only be realized with tax increases, cuts in military spending, and purported net savings from proposed immigration. The poster didn’t note that the CBO’s estimate for a cumulative deficit of $5.977 trillion from 2016 through 2025 is $303 billion higher than the White House’s forecast.

pie-in-sky-budgetObama’s pie in the sky budget proposal ignores the reality of today and the increasing likelihood that we will be forced to increase our military. And that the flood of immigrants will inundate our entitlement systems.  It is estimated that amnesty will cost taxpayer $6.3 trillion. If amnesty is enacted, the average adult unlawful immigrant would receive $592,000 more in government benefits over the course of his remaining lifetime than he would pay in taxes. Then you must consider the fact that our middle class is in extremis.

Obama’s plot to dramatically increase taxation on the rich is a fool’s errand. Why? According to Forbes, the aggregate net worth of the richest 400 Americans is $2.29 trillion. According to Link the total spending by the US government in 2016 will be $4 trillion. If you were to strip the every penny from people making over $250K, it would not operate the government for even a year.  And the golden goose would be dead.

Next week, Republican-controlled budget committees in the House and Senate intend to unveil their own proposals for budgets that eliminate deficits within 10 years, with deep spending cuts expected for some federal benefits programs.  Think Deer Friends, please just think.

No spin here, just cold, hard fact. Link

gold-mine-repubPART 2)  The Republican field of potential presidential candidates is a gold mine of talent. So far, and it’s very, very early, Governor JEB, Governor Walker and Senator Rubio seem to be leading the pack. All are very talented, all have specific skill sets, and all have certain drawbacks. JEB was a damn good Governor for Florida. He is purported to be the choice of the old guard Republican establishment.  Walker is a damn good Governor for Wisconsin. He’s a proven winner, he’s battled the unions and won, and his popularity is growing by leaps and bounds. Marco Rubio is the clear leader of the three in his knowledge of foreign policy and the world politic. Under Democrat governance, America has been shamed, we are no longer respected, or even worse, feared. Rubio too is gathering followers and support at an incredible rate.  It will be an interesting conflict.


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