2015 March

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

shamrocks hat shilleleigh 312h
The basic function of reality television is to turn things that are irrelevant into matters of life and death.
[Sports] 7.1 billion is the number of minutes of sports content that Americans consumed via their smartphones during the third quarter of 2014. More than 72 million people in the U.S. viewed some sort of sports content on their phones during those three months
Solar smartphone. Link
[“Havana is about 105 miles from Key West not 90”]  Further proof of global warming/climate change.  The oceans have risen enough to add 15 miles to the trip!
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While I agree the process to convert a septic tank into a cistern is too laborious and very costly, using a kiddie pool to collect rainwater will just provide a breeding ground for mosquitos.
A better way would be to use a covered 55 gallon drum to collect roof runoff through a downspout from gutters.
[Spring Break Volunteers Help Water Quality Study] Two Tallahassee oceanography grad students and an Environmental Policy instructor chose a different way to spend their Spring Break this week. They came to Key West as volunteers to take algae samples for a project sponsored by the Stop Shallow Sewage Wells in the Florida Keys Campaign. Spring Break Seaweed Sampling Survey 3-14-15
[“Havana 90 miles”] And the 7 Mile Bridge is not 7 miles.
gorilla in tie
I haven’t worn a tie, except for one Halloween, in about 45 years. One of the reasons is that I’m weary of someone pulling on it and strangling me. I can imagine a big gorilla swinging me around him in the air as he holds on to my tie. Ties are kind of like dog collars.
[Fund raises cash to offer reward money for arrest of Euclid eggers] I’m thinking the euclid egger and the Akron pooper could be roomies in The joint. I think it’s funny they nailed family members and a police officer taking a report. Link
book sale
Friends of the Big Pine Key Library book sale March 21 9-2 at the library in the Winn Dixie Plaza. Thanks to prior sales the Friends donated over $1200 to the library in 2014. Check out the gently read books, paperbacks and DVDs. Bring your own bags, please. Events
[Sewers] I know all this talk about shallow wells is making people upset. Sometimes in life look at things much much simpler. I see the shallow wells as the solution. I really shouldn’t tell all ya all my secret, but I’m thinkin it might make it harder for them to find me. Everybody should go outside their house right now and drill a shallow well. Then toss one of them there submersible water pumps into it. Hook that pump up to your house and use that water. Your sewage is charged by water usage. If you don’t use their water you won’t pay the sewage on it. People in the Keys have been using shallow wells forever. You only have to drill 3-4 feet. No deeper or you will hit salt water. Now quit whining about shallow wells and do something about it. Join them. Your pocket book will appreciate it. Have a marvelous day.
To the person filling their septic tank with fill. Well I know in a perfect world water is everywhere. In a hurricane that takes out a bridge not so much. We haven’t always had that pipe from the mainland. Once we lose a bridge we won’t again. You also have to pay twice for the water that comes through that line once the sewers are hooked up. I personally would let those two brain cells talk to each other. I think they would tell you not to get rid of the cistern that so many people used to live on. Maybe mention flushing a toilet once the water stops flowing. It will also be cheaper to make it into a cistern than filling it if you do it yourself. Fill is for driveways.
This Wednesday March 18, 7-9 PM The Coconut Ukulele Orchestra will be holding it’s monthly meeting at Coconuts on Big Pine Key. The theme is St. Patrick’s Day Week. Bring you Irish songs. Extra ukes will be available.
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engineering award
[Sewers] Matthews Consulting, the designers of the f**ked up CRWS sewer collection system that does not even meet minimum national standards, won an “Engineering Excellence” award for 2014 for their sewer design in Duck Key. That project completed in 2012. Here it is 2015 and the 30 grinder pump telemetry units in Duck Key are still not all communicating. They are almost due for new batteries now and have not functioned yet. I wonder how the thousands here will work, where they are even further apart? Duh. Your tax dollars at work.
[“Half of all Children Will Have Autism by 2025”] How will you be able to tell? the way these idiot parents raise them and the junk foods they eat and the inter-breeding going on now!
It is 90 Nautical miles to Cuba from the Southernmost Point  It is 105 Statute miles (give or take a small bit).  The Nautical Mile is used in navigation (air and sea) because it correlates with the minutes on a chart and takes into account the curvature of the earth. One navigating to Cuba would use Nautical miles for proper navigation.
 A statute mile is 5,280 feet in length.
A nautical mile is 6,076.11549 feet in length
leprechaun dancing
What If the Beatles Were Irish? -funny parody. Video
The Long Walk Home workshop. This Thursday, March 19th, Shauna Gionfriddo from the Domestic Abuse Shelter will be talking about “Domestic Violence and Military Families”, its consequences, how it escalates  and what can be done to avoid it.TLWH is a not for profit organization dedicated to helping Veterans and their families make the transition to civilian life through on going workshops help at their headquarters at mm 97.6 on US1 every Thursday evening 6pm to 7:30pm.
The only thing that separates the men from the boys is age–except in Key West.
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You know you can air layer that hibiscus so as to make more of them. That’s a beaut! Never seen one before. Link
When disaster hits, FEMA watches Waffle Houses for guidance. Link
iMacs are now PCs because most all the parts are identical and Microsoft writes the OS Code same as for other operation systems. The whole computer gig is a scam and always has been. It is still all DOS with fancy windows! (Ed: You’re right. The only difference between iOs and Windows machines is snob appeal. They both do the same thing, the same way, using the same hardware. The user interface is the main difference.)
butterflies 312h
[Butterflies] Even as I watched and tried to get this County to stop destroying this butterfly and people food plant on my Key, even during the years it was a threatened species I did not succeed.  ~Julia F Morton Link
Generally speaking, the only time you may get call back from a Keys businessman is when they happen to butt dial you.
Our firm is doing a background investigation on an incident that allegedly occurred at the Ocean Reef Club. I would appreciate the opportunity to speak with you about this matter.
Steve McKean
Herman Law Firm
Boca Raton, FL
cell- 954-651-1139
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[St Patty’s Bike Roll Today]
 March 17th. We’ll  be meeting at Coconuts between 5-5:30pm. Then rolling down the road to Bistro’s and Springer’s. Wear your green!
I guess Tiger Woods is done. Another golfer has replaced Tiger on a popular video game.
(“Unedited” CT) whine, whine, bitch, bitch, complain, insult …
Whole citrus baking will make you re-think oranges (and lemons, and limes). Link
School tax exemption is just a slush fund resource. So the federal government has a national plan/program to restructure housing for its employees. A private contractor bids and gets contract to provide housing. The contract and federal law require contractor to pay school taxes. The contractor is supposed to obey federal law. Contactor pays a bribe to state Republican legislators to a enact state law to exempt contractor from paying school taxes.In one state, contractor saves $300 million, plus $40 million per year in the future. Federal goverment agency splits unpaid school taxes as a political slush fund — all is open to the public. Governor is in on the political slush fund and payoffs. Maybe the federal agency is corrupt?
Only 49 more states to go.Students? Schools don’t get the money
ides of march16
Ides of March
– now that was very clever, on multiple dimensions. Thanks to the poster for providing a good laugh!!
Hi Gardeners and flower lovers!
Below is a link to a  beautiful video that will put you into the mood for spring!
Grab a cup of coffee, sit back and enjoy 2 minutes of beauty!
Each flower is filmed for two days to get this effect. Enjoy!
Click below and then click the arrow in lower left.   Link
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[Sewers] Finally the Feds are in the game. Service+to+FKAA_Cudjoe+Regional+Water+Project(1)
The Peace Alliance /U.S. Dept. of Peacebuilding. “I cannot tell you with what weapons mankind would fight WW3, but I can assure you that WW4 would be fought with sticks & stones. ”   ~Albert Einstein Link
I too have no problem with Kiki Sandbar. The food has always been good and the wait staff outstanding. I’ll be going back and bring my friends.
hareens 12.2.14
kiddy pool vs cistern !?!? That was bizarre, but I guess if it’s sincere, then the poster doesn’t realize how wacked out it is. To summarize a comparison of a pool to a cistern – it’s going to take up yard space, it’s hard to treat for mosquitoes, it will evaporate pretty quickly, all sorts of leaves and critters will get into it, and it will look like crap. But, it would sort of work to water plants…
Irish O’Stew
[Bad men at Wildlife Services] I got chills watching Exposed’s Wildlife Services illegal aerial gunning of cougars. Link
That is one hot hibiscus.
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[Correction] Cuba is 90 miles from Key West. Havana is 105
Ed claims Marco Rubio is the wisest republican presidential candidate in his knowledge of foreign policy and the world politic.
Surely you jest. Apparently you didn’t watch his performance at the congressional hearings last week pertaining to ISIS. You can watch it on Furthermore, why do you think he is against removing the embargo with Cuba? Answer: He is paid by the sugar lobby. If you are right, Ed, and he is the best Republican on foreign policy matters, this is very scary. Wake up Ed!(Ed: I recommend that you wake up. I never wrote, thought or spoke any of those things. You are confusing me with FTR (From The Right) who did, and is one of valued sponsors.)
[Captain Doom and Gloom] The rule is to buy or start a business, make it look good, then sell it to the first sucker that comes along, the day after you sign the papers!
The field of Republican candidates for President “is a gold mine of talent” The wife and I almost fell out of bed laughing I Keep ’em coming ! One can’t buy entertainment like that, especially at these prices.Gotta love ftr.
Bet CT readers can’t guess which right wing, tea partying, racist, violent hate agitating nut job said this? “Today we need a nation of minute men; citizens who are not only prepared to take up arms, but citizens who regard the preservation of freedom as a basic purpose of their daily life and who are willing to consciously work and sacrifice for that freedom. The cause of liberty, the cause of America, cannot succeed with any lesser effort.”
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FTR: republican budget fix our economy. May I remind our one note friend that it was the republican budget that ruined the economy.
I had a dream that Mitt Romney was President and that he was able to achieve the following:
1) save the country from the worst financial crisis since the great depression.
2) Save the banks and resume lending.
3) save the auto industry thus enable the manufacture of autos at an unprecedented rate.
4) receive repayment of government loans.
5) eliminate Osama Bin laden
6) reduce unemployment to 5.7%
7)increase the number of available jobs 3.7% to 5 million the most since January 2001
8) reduce the home mortgage rate to 3.62%
9) see gasoline prices decline to a 4 year low and the stock market rise to a historic 18,000
10) enact the affordable care act in which 11 million Americans enrolled for healthcare a goal American presidents have tried to achieve since harry Truman in the 1950s.
  All of a sudden I woke up realizing that our President wasn’t Romney it was our President Obama not the communist, socialist, dictator, czar all around evil mean man that his critics have tried to degrade him with.
If Mittens would have accomplished these goals the right would be making room for him on Mount Rushmore.
Thank you for the funniest thing that has been written. Civics lessons from FTR, republican budget that will solve all of our problems, what next a republican health plan to replace the Affordable Healthcare Act. He (FTR) and the republicans have been touting these things for years but have never come out with a plan. Some people just enjoy drinking elephant piss and saying how it tastes just like lime jello. FTR, you a funny guy, keep it up we are all laughing.
from the right
PART 1) Only a month ago JEB and Scott Walker were considered neck and neck leaders in the Republican Presidential sweepstakes, but some party insiders say that the Republican political climate is changing.marco rubio9Senator Marco Rubio is now being seen as a very real threat to JEB and Walker. He’s quietly securing commitments and pledges of big bucks from all over the country.

Rubio hasn’t made as much noise as his competitors, but his knowledgeable presentations and obvious political talent are nonetheless turning heads. Rubio hasn’t made a big splash, neither building a “shock and awe” campaign like JEB nor delivering a marquee speech like Walker. Rubio appears to be embracing the idea that, in what is sure to be a long primary with a crowded field, a slow-and-steady approach will prevail.

The buzz about Rubio follows a very successful but low-profile book tour that took him through the early-primary states of Iowa, South Carolina, Nevada, and New Hampshire, and as the frenetic motion around Bush and Walker has begun to subside. The public were impressed with him.

At the American Enterprise Institute’s annual Republican mega donor retreat in Sea Island, Ga., it’s reported that Rubio got rave reviews from a crowd of serious money, deep pocketed active Republican donors. Rubio is also drawing support from libertarian leaning Republicans and from conservative intellectuals.    Rubio has long had a base of support from conservatives who support reform, and that base is growing in size and intensity.

This contest is becoming more and more fascinating.

PART 2) YESTERDAY A PUERILE POSTER WROTE: “FTR how did you not know that Pelosi’s trip to Syria was set up thru the Bush administrations state Dept and thru Bushs Defense secretary? That’s not even close to what the Republicans pulled in their Iran letter. I have a feeling you count on people not checking your supposed facts because you really dropped the ball on that one. Time to spin out of there.”

FTR’S RESPONSE: There have been many goofy, silly, nonsensical, illogical, and even nutty political postings here on the CT from the left. But yesterdays took it to an even higher level.  The poster has had one too many rides on the Democrat Tilt-A Whirl.

nancy-pelosi-scarfThe notion that ultra liberal Nancy Pelosi went to Syria as a sub rosa representative of GWB is beyond goofy. It would be exactly same thing as Obama sending Boehner to tinkle in the ear of Putin.  It ain’t gonna happen now, and it didn’t happen then.  Apparently the poster was/is no aware that Pelosi led a gaggle of ultra liberal legislators to Syria. Each and every one was an avowed enemy of GWB. If I’m wrong, we all know that the poster would take great delight in providing us with his sourcing for his nonsense claim. The White House was right, the image of Pelosi and the Democrat leadership playing kissy face with Assad was disgusting.  Even worse it was Anti American.

The fact is that the White House scorched Pelosi for her face to face with the murderous, genocidal, dictator, Assad. She was warmly embraced by Assad. Why? Because she was the polar opposite of GWB and controlled our House of Representatives. Link


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