2014 May

Monday, May 19, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

work-for-beer18[“Homeless issue”] It’s not an issue — it’s the way it is. A way of life. We have warm weather year around. The homeless love it here. They don’t want to be told what cot to sleep on, when to get up, when to turn the lights out and go to bed or take a bath. Many, if not all, get money and meds from the state, local and federal government. Anti depression, sleep and pain meds can then be sold on the street, if they want. If they need medical attention they go to the ER for free. They own a few t-shirts, shorts and in some cases flip-flops. Their belonging fit in a bag. If they need more there is “Sals” (Salvation Army). Our local church’s have poor boxes, food banks and hot meals throughout the week. Most of these folks will not and do not want to make a change. Some have mental problems, some are runaways. Some are unsightly, dirty or even panhandlers, who make you feel uncomfortable when you pass them on the street. Most are doing just fine and wouldn’t change a thing. Is it that hard to understand that they don’t want to change a thing? Paul Simon — Homeless
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say, “Hey look, that one is shaped like an idiot”.
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dice revolve[Craps] Yes, someone can play less worst by understanding the game, the odds and betting strategy, the house has it’s percentage figured in even if you play perfectly. The roll is normally chance, but some people know how to throw the dice in such a weak appearing fashion that there is more or less chance of certain numbers showing up. The dice are not equal, for instance only 2 sides can make a 12 or a 2, but more sides can make a 6, 7, 8 or 9 for instance. Blowing on the dice is just a way to warm them up so they get hot and roll the numbers you want. It has no scientific basis but makes the game dramatic and fun, because in most cases that’s all your going to get, plus some free drinks.Casinos didn’t get rich by giving away money, but by conning people into thinking they have a chance of beating the house. There is only one guy that did it consistently to win tens of millions before being banned, he only played blackjack, likely cheated in some new fashion, and never got caught.
[Big Data] What isn’t measured can’t be managed.
[Email] Testing, Testing. This is only a test. If you received this test it means your new server is working, and I should see this test posted on the C.T. on Monday!
Two die in separate snorkeling accidents off the Florida Keys. Snorkeling is dangerous. Link
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[Gaming] $23.9 billion is the estimated value of the worldwide mobile gaming market in 2016. This would represent nearly 100% growth in three years, as the market at the end of 2013 was estimated to be about $12.3 billion.
[Early Days of Preservation] In May, 1715 the colony of New York passed a law making it illegal to “gather, rake, take up, or bring to the market, any oysters whatsoever” between the months of May and September. This regulation was only one of many that were passed in the early days of America to help preserve certain species. In recent years, endangered species laws have been enacted in order to criminalize poaching for the protection of animals. However, earlier versions of these laws were more concerned with insuring that hunters would have a steady supply of game.

In 1699, Virginia passed a law to prevent people from shooting deer during half the year and Massachusetts made criminals out of those who exported raccoon furs or skins from the state in 1675.

Fish and game laws were not restricted to the East, though. After the near extinction of the buffalo (it is estimated that many millions of these animals were killed during the western expansion of the mid-to-late 1800s), it became a felony to kill buffalo anywhere across the country.

[“Like pigs in a blanket”] It is food silly. How can you not know that? Usually little hot dogs wrapped in some kind of pastry and baked. It is a ubiquitous cheap party food. No deeper meaning. Like peas and carrots; like Forest Gump’s relationship with Bubba, they go great together. Where have you been all these years that pigs in a blanket have been served?
fishing fighting chair[The Queen of Pine] Reef Light Tackle Team was awesome! 2nd place in the Florida Keys Dolphin Championship plus Top Lady Angler and Top Lady Angler in the Lower Keys Chamber Tournament. Congrats Donna & Reef Light Tackle Shop. You and your team earned it. That was some tuff fishing conditions. You and your team have every right to brag a little. Job well done. Once again. Piners rule and you are the Queen of Pine. Love you guys.  ~Joe, Coconuts
[Tea Party Loses Big Time] Sadly, Operation American Spring only drew about 73 “patriots”, not the 30 million slated to storm the citadels of “Kenyan” tyranny and bring down the government. The sorry numbers left organizers feeling admittedly “disappointed,” but many more un-patriots happily took to Twitter to offer likely excuses for the massive fail. Samples: “Just got the Atlas Shrugged Coloring Book and was having someone read it to me,” “Got lost because the map wasn’t in the bible which we also have never read,” “Put hood on backwards and ran into tree,” “Too busy trying to figure out why President Romney has been so quiet since his 2012 landslide,” “There were 30 million people – math is just a theory” etc. Social media at its (relative) best. Link.
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cat-trap19[Injuring Innocent Felines] A Key Largo family’s pet cat received injuries similar to those displayed by the cat pictured in the cage. U.S. Fish & Wildlife hunters were caught placing traps right next to the property of a family with cats. This fenceless property boarders the wildlife refuge.The government’s cat hunters were under orders to place their traps next to the homes of citizens with cats. These heavily baited traps are designed to lure and snatch these family pets from the homes where they live. It appears that some of these traps may have been placed on the private property of the pet owner. This family has lived in their home long before the establishment of a wildlife refuge on their border.
Little Palm Island will be on grinder pumps.  A higher number of EDU’s than their number of rooms just generates more dollars for the overall sewer connection.
[“Calling tech support repeatedly for the right answer”] You must have much better luck than I have by hanging up and re-calling tech support. I can’t understand anyone from India (or where ever) no matter how many times I call.
rubiks cube
] To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Rubik’s Cube, Google has placed the interactive toy on it’s search page today only. Click and turn the sections until you get it right. Link
[Sewers] It’s interesting that after completing sewer system work on Cudjoe and Lower Sugarloaf Key, the huge area on south Summerland Key was skipped and work began on Ramrod Key where there was outspoken opposition to grinder pumps; and then to Big Pine Key, where a series of permitting and environmental issues and legal challenges had been raised by DumpthePumps Inc.

Work began at a fever pace on Big Pine Key. Certainly the reason was not to ensure the pipes were in place before the legal challenges were resolved and to provide a fait accompli defense: “We’ve already done the work and it’s too expensive to make changes.” Cynics and balderdash! Everyone knows such things have never occurred in Monroe County.

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as seen on tv[MarathonFloridaTV88] September 15 is the target date to begin 24/7 broadcasting on Comcast Channel 88.  We are hoping that every program broadcasted is locally produced somewhere throughout The Florida Keys, so we are actively seeking out our local talent.

Public meeting called “Let’s make some local TV Shows” Tuesday May 20th at 6pm at Chesapeake Restaurant 11399 Overseas Hwy (Across from Town Square Mall). Chesapeake Restaurant is supplying free dinners to those coming to the meeting and Free soft drinks or alcohol at happy hour prices. Jesse Jett will be playing some songs while we are all eating and settling in.

It will take a lot of community involvement before we have enough content to air local programming 24/7, so we are reaching out to our creative and talented local residents.  We need hosts, commentators, interviewers, reporters, weather & newscasters, and anyone who has a great idea for a local TV show or a great venue for a
local TV show. Want to find out more? Video

[Internet TV] 63% Percentage of U.S. households with broadband Internet access have at least one television set connected to the Internet.
Cheval appearing at Adam Scott Rote Gallery May 22-23-24.
[The Great Texas Train Crash] It was to be a spectacular 19th Century publicity stunt with a carefree carnival mood. It ended in explosions, flying metal and death. Nobody will ever know what inspired that idea in William G. Crush’s mind. By all accounts he was a conservative man and a solid citizen not given to crazy ideas. Perhaps he was inspired by a similar spectacle done several months before near Cleveland, Ohio. Maybe the idea occurred to him just because his company couldn’t figure out how to get rid of some obsolete locomotives. Link
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This book has absolutely nothing about how to kill birds.
[VA Administration in Trouble] Wasn’t there already an investigation of the VA during Obama’s reign?
[“Republicans don’t waste their time insulting Democrats”]  This must be from someone who doesn’t read the FTR guy.
Happy Monday from Springers Bar and Grill
. Today’s Mexican special is a steak quesadilla. Sure to be a fiesta for the palate.
Specials This Week
Tuesday : chicken francaise
Wednesday : seafood étouffée
Thursday : tropical chicken wrap
Friday : beer battered fish and chips
Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu. There’s Always Something Special at Springers
[Windows 7’s Demise] October 31, 2014 that Microsoft has set as the last day for system manufacturers to sell computers to consumers that are preloaded with almost all Windows 7 versions. The lone exception is Windows 7 Professional; Microsoft has not yet set the end date for that particular version of the operating system.
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tomato soup19
A can of Campbell’s soup cost almost two dollars at W/D!
[We’re Number 1] The USA is indisputably the world leader in lock­ing up human beings behind bars. We are less than 5 percent of the world’s popula­tion, but we warehouse 25 percent of the world’s incarcerated population. Our per capita incarceration rate is seven times greater than France’s, 14 times greater than Japan’s and 24 times greater than India’s.
[Citizen Of The Day Says] He enjoys adult beverages and chasing women.
Mike Gillis on Guitar, Hal Howland Drums, Joe Dallas on Cello, & Dr. Rock Solomon at Paradise Cafe. Mike Gillis is a fine guitarist and one of my favorites, but I thought he died a couple of years ago.
[This Must Be Real, I’m Calling Now] My dear good friend, How are you today i hope all is well with you? if so glory be to Allah. I know this letter will come to you as a surprise but i want you to consider it. First of all, I will explain myself in brief to you before we proceed. I am Director Ibrahim Buba from Burkina Faso West Africa, a banker at the Bank of Africa (boa).

I am contacting you on a business deal of us$14,000.000. The depositor of the said fund died with his entire family during the Iraq war in 2004. The customer used his wife as the next of kin but unfortunately, the wife died along side with him leaving nobody for the claim. According to our banking law, if the fund remains unclaimed for (11) years then, the fund will be transferred into the reserve bank as unclaimed bill. I don’t want the fund to go into the bank treasury and as such, let us claim the fund. I will present you as his cousin or business partner so that my bank will transfer the fund into your bank account for us to share it.

Your per cent will be 40% while 60% will be for me. As an insider in this bank, I assure you that, this transaction is 100% risk free. If you are willing for this deal, contact me for more details but if you are not capable, please notify me. The transaction will take us only 14 working bank days. Nobody knows about the fund and as such, you must keep the secret within you ok. I will send you the text of the application to fill and send to our Bank bere for the release of the fund into your bank account on the receipt of your message. I will be monitoring the whole situation here in the bank until you confirm the money in your bank account and ask me to come down to your country for subsequent sharing of the fund.

Please send the following information and call me Tel:00226 75275821.

1.YOUR NAME…………..
4.MOBILE N°…………..

Waiting to hear from you, Thanks, Dr Ibrahim Buba.

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[Frontier Justice] This young man broke into his neighbor’s house. He had a knife and threatened his old neighbor’s life. But the 72 years old Frank Corti, who is a former boxing champion, used his fists for protection.
[Races] Whatever happened to Black is Beautiful, White is Wonderful, Red is Right, Yellow is Mellow, Brown is Buenos, and something called Racial Pride? Seems all races want to merge into a Gray is Groovy mass of un-persons and un-personalities. I hope this never happens. Be human and be proud of what you are, stay pure!
I think Big Pine is the biggest island in the Keys. Key deer Blvd is 5 miles long–north to south.
[Captain Doom and Gloom] “The homeless issue” If you sheeple think the homeless issue is bad now, just wait until the country goes into the crapper and thousands of ‘homeless’ seek warmth down here. How many bedrooms do you have? Grinder pump for how many toilets? Got more than two showers? Blow the bridges? Own a large sail boat with dried foods and a water maker? We ain’t gunna make it!
[“Law For Sale”] If a law is changed for one group to allow dredging deeper yacht access, then that law has to apply to all who want their property to have deep water access and that spells the real end to the Keys. Welcome to Boca Keys!
National politics is back. Click on this link to send your national political post anonymously. No one will know your name or email address, [Well, maybe the NSA will] not even me. FTR is going to be the new national politics editor. Do not fear, FTR promised to post everything, even if he hates it, he’s that kind of guy.
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[Jeremiah Wright’s Daughter Convicted of Fraud] The reverend must be a good teacher – he taught Obama too! Link
Did you ever, even for a little bit, consider the idea that just maybe Charlie Crist is right about things?
from the right
There is no doubt but that Florida is the leader in our nation’s recovery. While most of the nation is still moving glacially slow, Florida is sprinting forward. Governor Scott deserves much of the credit for that, but it would not have been possible without a Republican Florida legislature. Here in Monroe, we are fortunate to have Holly Raschein of Key Largo as our State Representative ( Dist. 20).  Ms. Raschein is a young woman with a young family, her energy and dedication to her constituents and her family is amazing.

holly-raschein19Our Florida Legislative session has just wound up.  Ms. Raschein has made a huge difference for Florida and especially Monroe.

We now have a balanced budget. Floridians will enjoy a $500 million cut in taxes and fees, the largest cut in a decade. Fees and auto tags will cost less. This year there will be tax relief holidays. One will be the “ Back To School” holiday, that’s from August 1st through August  3rd. Then there will be a “Hurricane Preparedness Holiday”, from May 31st through June 8th, then a Holiday running from September 19th through September 21st on energy efficient and water efficient appliances. We’ll enjoy a cut in the taxes that businesses pay for electricity and a permanent tax break for children’s car seats and bike helmets.

Rep. Raschein was successful in getting the legislature to approve $50 million for the Keys Waste Water Project. Among the water projects that directly impact our Keys is $135 million for Everglades’ restoration projects, and springs restoration projects totaling about $30 million. New legislation will allocate about $400k for lionfish control and $1.1 million for artificial reef projects.

The Lower Keys Medical Center received $2.2 million to help offset the cost of charity care.

Rep Raschein successfully revised the laws regulating spiny lobster harvesting. The revised bill is specifically designed to crack down on poachers and to deter repeat offenses.

Rep Raschein’s new legislation modifies the old rules and permits the use of a special divers down buoy as an alternative to the divers down flag. It’s use will be at the discretion of the diver. The new buoy will be much more visible that the flag in certain circumstances.

The new budget makes significant increases is education funding.

Rep Raschein has been working closely with FIRM to delay and/or mitigate the horrible insurance increases mandated by the Biggert Waters Bill. Governor Scott has been working tirelessly to get Obama to rescind or at least revisit the act.  So far Obama has refused.

Monroe’s Representative Holly Raschein has served us well, the list of her accomplishments on your behalf would pages. I urge you to contact her for more information on the changes that she has championed this year.  Link will reach her.  I’m positive that she’s anxious to get your input and suggestions for next year.

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