2014 October

Monday, October 20, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsAnonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

pepe's[“The way it was”] The real Pepe’s was on Caroline Street and in the early 1970s all the politicos, shrimpers and bubba’s used to gather there. Cootie was the cook and always wore long shorts and didn’t talk that much. I went there almost every morning for years and I don’t believe he ever said a word to me. The same Cuban waitress was there forever. She never spoke to me either. They didn’t hardly talk to anyone. Breakfast was a dollar. Two eggs, grits, ham and Cuban bread toasted in a Cuban press. They served Bustello coffee, as did every restaurant in those days, with condensed milk. They would poke a hole with a knife in opposite edges of the top of the cans, one to pour the milk and the other for make-up air. They filled empty bottles of Louisiana hot sauce with lime juice and salt and those tiny bird peppers for some truly hot sauce. Cootie wasn’t that well educated and neither was the waitress. Coffee was spelled two different ways on the beat up menu boards hanging on the wall and over the counter. The place was a dump. You could get breakfast in about a minute so it was a great place if you were in a hurry. On Fridays he’d cook menudo for lunch. They closed after lunch.
[Tech Support] Our Building Department should be helpful instead of adversarial. They should have a technical support department that you can call or email with your building questions and they would give you a direct answer not some vague reference to some building code number. If you wanted to know the width of steps, for example, they would tell you. Or how many tie down straps you need, etc.
[Sick Society] There’s a new toy for your kids. The Breaking Bad dolls. Now you can train your kid to be a meth dealer. Doll comes with special blue bag with pretend meth rocks.
[Perry Court] What a selfish bunch – those “Meadows” people who oppose integrating that Peary Court property into the rest of Key West. They will actually help establish a gated community for their own silly reasons (the fence that should not be there in the first place). And it almost seems like as a result they are helping to establish a gated community in the “meadows” itself by default. Maybe they would be happy with a guard shack on Newton St too? Actually I think those houses there should not be torn  down and remain as affordable housing and a monument to the idiocy of all that Peary Court represents. This is taking nimbyism to a whole new level.
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is 750 miles off the coast of the Carolinas. Who would think it would have any thing to do with the weather in the Keys.
[Ebola] Have we really ever been ready for anything?  Think Pearl Harbor, or 9-11.  It is not a perfect world.  Roll with the punches.
[The Real Holocaust] 11 million people died in the Holocaust, not 6 million. Stating the truth doesn’t diminish the 6 million deaths over the 5 million deaths. However the lie does to the 5 million, it’s saying those people are inferior to the 6 million and their respective ethnic groups don’t deserve to be counted or demoted to “war crime” status like one insensitive poster says. Understandably Hitler targeted the Jews first because of their greater numbers, but in reality the entire effort, including the war, was driven by an ethnic cleansing campaign which was much broader in scope than the lie perpetuates. So ask yourself, why the lie? Who and what is causing this revisionist history to occur and for what reasons?
] A Florida blowjob.
Early voting starts today in Monroe County. I think it’s a good idea to wait until the General Election because you never know what surprise will pop up about a candidate and you wouldn’t want to vote for the wrong person.
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largest-ship20[Pieter Schelte] This is now Earth’s largest ship and it can lift oil rigs off the sea floor. Videos
[Spies Like US] Worried about the NSA? Fagetaboutit. Take a look up in the sky at the big gray unmarked helicopters taking high resolution digital images of your house and property. Even at night, with no navigation lights on. Beware. This is our true problem down here. I have seen the pictures and know about the terrible agenda. Lionfish and iguanas are not the invaders, it is our own government. The land of the free my ass.
[“The Way we were”] Full Moon Saloon on Simonton St Key West, The 80’s had a huge grouper sandwich covered in mushrooms onions and cheddar cheese. The best on earth. The bartender was the best on the island, “Greek”. Every late night shift worker went there. Its now Camille’s.
toaster on fire
[460 Volt Toaster] Lunatics overdrive toaster to make toasts in under 10 seconds! Video
[Florida Governor’s Contest] It appears both candidates are lousy so vote for the candidate that has your favorite party affiliation.
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[“The way it was”] Shorty’s Restaurant on Duval. That place was super, it had a low sit-down bar like a big U that filled the restaurant. Outside there was an aluminum awning with rounded ends and a tall neon sign above. In the mid seventies Junior (I think that was his name) would crank out food like no short order cook I’ve ever seen. He used to make a special omelet that wasn’t on the menu and contained everything he had. If you wanted great breakfasts, that was the place. Shorty’s was near Sloppy Joe’s.
Congratulations to yesterday’s post on comet Siding Spring (C/2013 A1). It looks like you have successfully completed your course in the FTR guy school of scientific journalism.
[“The way is was”] In my continuing quest for the best fish sandwich I went to the old Capt. Eddies Fish Basket years ago only to find a bunch of know-it-all day drunks sitting at the bar and no food service at all.
zombie cards20
[Zombie Bike Ride] Thanks to all who organized our zombie bike ride here on BPK Sunday! Also thanks to the Moose Lodge, Coconuts, Springer’s and the Bistro 31. And special thanks to the Bistro for our free eats and treats!
[“Remember when”] Actually the original Big Pine Liquors was over where Marty’s bike shop is now. Then the original owners (Keiser Family) got into some sort of disagreement with the family that owned the strip mall. The result was the Keiser family built the existing Big Pine Liquors on US1 in 1982 and the family that owned the strip mall opened Bougainvillea Liquors before the new BPL was finished and opened. The original owner of Bougainvillea died around 1988 or 1989 and the store was run for a number of years by his son and daughter, Billy and Sue. BPL was closed for almost two years (around 1985) — then was purchased by Bob and Susan Eanes and reopened in 1987. Bob died in 1989 — Susan ran the store until October, 2005 — when she retired and sold the store in an employee buyout to long time employees, Steve Miller and Dan Metcalf — who still own Big Pine Liquors today. (Ed: Susan was the first to advertise on
An even older fact — the Keiser’s original liquor store was in Marathon — what is now Marathon Liquors
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[“Holocaust”] Why have I never heard of the 5 million others murdered by Hitler? I’ve only ever heard about the 6 million Jews. It seems one poster was upset that the 5 million were even mentioned.
When you see the many advertisements for oil companies remember that they only talk about jobs. That is just a smoke screen for the environmental damage that they all do. In addition to the BP oil spill, I’m talking about the one football field size plot of wetlands and marshes that the oil companies destroy every week. Yes, one football field. They have been drilling so much that salt water is coming more and more into the wetlands killing them and removing precious habitat. By law they are obligated to restore the wetlands. The 39 oil companies in Louisiana have been sued over the tremendous loss, but they own the politicians and legislatures. The oil companies make the rules and no one enforces them
[“That ‘thing’ being built in Cudjoe Gardens on Colson Drive“] I think some architects should be shot for building structures that are inappropriate for a location. Many architects build things simply because they know how to. I knew one who wanted to build a serpentine concrete building with round, curving walls in old town years ago. I yelled at him for his insensitivity to the fledgling historic district and he admitted that he wanted to build it because he knew how and never gave the location a second thought
swiss cheese20
As Swiss cheese ages the holes get bigger. That’s a good way to visually tell if Swiss cheese is aged or not.
[TV Sheeple] Americans must like to watch commercials because on hit TV shows commercials break up the show after the first twenty minutes and increase in frequency until close to the end they interrupt every seven minutes. They are sheeple for putting up with that and paying high cable fees to watch commercials.
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[“The way it was”
] The drive-in and the dog track on Stock Island. The trailer park there where 150 people partied in the streets every night is now condos. Boca Chica Bar just over the bridge and Conch Flier at the airport and Coconuts were open 24/7. Esquire Lounge. The Pirates Den. The Gateway Bar, Full Moon Saloon. The Hukilau. Coral Isle and “free beer tomorrow”. This is just touching the surface of how it use to be. Those who were there will remember and laugh.
There is no crime greater than having too many desires;
There is no disaster greater than not being content;
There is no misfortune greater than being covetous.
~Tao Te Ching
[“Looters”] Why can we have some white looters? It’s always blacks. I think that’s discrimination.
[Spam Accusation] I just found out that my email is being censored by my ISP because I email to too many email addresses at once. Who the hell are they to cut my email? If I want to send a joke or picture to 1, 5, or 20 friends, I should not be culled. I think I can sue the bastards for this.
4% Percentage of American households that will have a smart home controller by the end of 2014.
25% Percentage of American households with smart home devices that experience some sort of technical difficulty each month.
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travel ban20[Ebola Travel Ban] There are reasons the U.S. hasn’t enacted a travel ban on countries where Ebola has broken out: It wouldn’t work and could actually make things worse, health officials say. Still, that’s done little to quell the calls for a ban. Now, if we were to put in place a travel ban or a visa ban, it would provide a direct incentive for individuals seeking to travel to the United States to go underground and to seek to evade this screening and to not be candid about their travel history in order to enter the country,” he said. “And that means it would be much harder for us to keep tabs on these individuals and make sure that they get the screening that’s needed to protect them and to protect, more importantly, the American public.”Many health experts agree that a ban isn’t necessary. “You’re not preventing the movement of the population anyway,” said Harvard epidemologist John Brownstein. “Many of these countries have very porous borders.” And there’s no evidence that travel bans have any lasting effect, he said. Brownstein co-authored a study that found that the airport closures in the eastern U.S. after 9/11 did delay the onset of flu that year, but only by two weeks. “Ultimately these pathogens find their way around the globe,” said Brownstein.
[“That ‘thing’ being built in Cudjoe Gardens on Colson Drive“] That round “thing”? Probably some newbie who came here from somewhere else to build his hurricane proof dream home.
[Gay Catholics] The Pope in Rome says gays aren’t ready for prime time in the Catholic Church yet. Maybe at next year’s synod they’ll admit to the fact that gays are humans.
[“The way it was”] Remember when Big Pine Inn was on the huge lot behind where a bank sits on the corner of US 1 and Key Deer Blvd? It was across where the pool place was on Ocean side of US 1. Now, those were some impromptu parties! .
How about Chesapeake Restaurant with shells stuck in the stucco for decoration on the outside! The owners had a place in Maryland and came down and opened this one just for the winter from Nov to April. The fish was just so good. After Wilma it was bulldozed. Sad, but progress is good, right? Look what’s there now–weeds.
[“The way it was”] How many remember The Serendipity? The sandwich and ice cream shop located in the Marshall Building on Big Pine and owned by Kasey Tuttle.
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I bet I know why there’s never been a beauty shop named Medusa
[Viva Mexico] I have had plenty of chances to observe those Mexican laborers putting in our sewer system.  You would never get a local white guy to work as hard as they do.
[GOP beliefs] Entitled to my Bush tax cuts, low tax rate investments, my right to buy politicians, and to blame all our problems on entitlements.
golf cart race
[Actual Crime Report from Everglades City] Golf Cart Thefts: Sometime between September 7 and the l2th a golf cart was reportedly stolen from a residence located on Riverside Road South. The golf cart is described as a “Club Car” black in color. Sometime during September 9 and the I 01htwo golf carts were stolen from local residences, then recovered shortly after the thefts were reported (neither appeared to have been damaged). One golf cart was taken from Demere Lane in Chokoloskee. later recovered on Copeland Ave in Everglades City, and the 2nd taken from a residence on Copeland Ave in Everglades City and later found undamaged on Riverside Drive
I’m the “idiot” who thinks everyone should be judged by their actions. I love it when Ed puts the most intelligent posts at the top. Thank you!
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Happy Monday from Springer’s Bar and Grill. Today’s special is a chicken-quesadilla27chicken quesadilla. It’s a Mexican fiesta for the palate.
Tuesday special: $10.00 2 topping pizza
Wednesday special: hamburger steak with onion mushroom gravy
Thursday special: chicken salad on a kaiser
Friday special: fish and chips
Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s Always Something Special at Springer’s
[“The way we were“] The best posting I have seen on this subject contained the quote that back when people in the Keys minded their own business. Unfortunately it’s not true anywhere anymore.
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
Big Pine Liquors was never Bougainvillea Liquors. It was just located in that spot. After Big Pine Liquors (owned by the Kaiser family) moved across US 1 Bougainvillea Liquors was opened by another family. I should know, I’m one of them.
mucus20[Mucus] The human body pumps dut more than a gallon of mucus each day. People tend to dismiss this slippery stuff as waste, but Katharina Ribbeck, a biochemist at Massa­chusetts Institute of Technology, discovered that mucus is actually a sophisticated filter. It can stave off infections by trapping viruses and taming harmful microbes, providing a window into our health. To study mucus in the lab, Ribbeck built three-dimensional matrices composed of mucins, the long, sugar-coated threads that give it structure. Scientists used to believe that mucins behaved like a spider web, trapping anything that came by. But Ribbecks research indicates its far more discerning than previously thought. “It turns out the body can change the composition of those threads and build gels with different characteristics,” she says. Last year, Ribbeck and her colleagues found that pregnant women at high risk for pre-term birth tend to have weaker, more permeable cervical mucus than those who aren’t at risk. The barrier potentially allows pathogens to enter, prompting early labor. Ribbeck hopes to uncover similar markers for cavities, ulcers, and other conditions. She’s also working to develop artificial mucins-which could provide an alternative to antibiotics by changing microbial behavior on the body’s surface. “Mucus is probably our largest filter in the body,” Ribbeck says. “But it’s common­ly disregarded as snot.” That’s an injustice she hopes to rectify. In fact, she recently began working on a children’s book with a superhero who harnesses mucus power
[“We are lost without a Surgeon General showing us the way”] If you really believe that then you must have loved one of the previous S.G.s, Jocelyn Elders. She advocated teaching kids to masturbate, and loved the music of Eric Clapton. She was dumb as a stump; and you put your faith in these people to help us out of a crisis? Maybe we could just whack-away the Ebola virus while listening to Clapton singing Crossroads
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It’s funny how when someone went on and on about Phil Goodman nothing was said about how long it was. I guess we know who you are voting for and now you know who I am voting for.
[Bush lied people died] Yes our military found the Iraqi caches of chemical weapons and the Liberal Left Wing Media establishment isn’t covering it for the fact that they don’t consider them ‘weapons of mass destruction’. If you explain it to them that all the rotting human corpses is going to melt and poison the water, the fish, tree’s, bugs and the birds that eat them, then they are all over it.
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When you rearrange the letters in–president Barack Obama. You get–An Arab Backed Imposter. Nuff said
from the right
A POSTER WROTE: “Holy elephant turds! I thought FTR Guy would never get around to blaming president Obama for Ebola. I guess he must have been very busy inoculating himself against Ebola with Rob Roy’s. And the GOP’s response to Ebola has been to tie up funding for Ebola research and to block the nomination for the Surgeon General.”left-field20FTR’S RESPONSE. There is a reason left field is called left field. That poster must have permanent residency in left field. It’s not just their politics, it’s their ignorance of the facts.For the record, I have never blamed Obama for Ebola. I have criticized his management of the crisis, and unless he changes his course, I will continue to. The Reps did not cut funding for Ebola. For the record, the budget of the 2014 CDC was increased by 8.2% because of Republican support. The Washington Post Fact Checker characterized the Democrat talking point charge that Republicans had blocked funding for Ebola research as being “absurd”, and identifies the charge as a lie, a damned lie, giving it their most harsh label, 4 Pinocchio’s.

Obama’s nominee for Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, has been languishing since November of 2013, long before the Ebola crisis, because of his political activism. He’s more devoted to gun control than to public health. If Obama had confidence in him to be the appropriate manager of the Ebola crisis, Obama could have appointed him to be the “Ebola Czar.” But Obama did not, he appointed a man, Ron Klain, who is a Democrat apparatchik who has -0- medical knowledge or experience, nor does he have any emergency response management experience. But he is an Obama loyalist. That trumps all.

There is a universal remedy: simply mix 2/3rds Dewar’s Scotch with 1/3 Martini and Rossi Sweet Vermouth in a cocktail shaker with ice cubes, shake, don’t stir…strain into a chilled cocktail glass, and garnish with a cherry. Voila….Rob Roy. It won’t cure a thing, but it will make you feel better about everything, and it sure tastes good. Ambrosia, Nectar of the Gods.

Part 2) Charlie Crist tries to sell himself as a man of the people, but Crist has led a life of privilege, growing up rich and spending the majority of his life as a pampered politician. While he’s on TV talking about people struggling to pay electric bills, the reality is Crist signed a bill that allowed Duke Energy to raise rates, and utility rates increased by 30% while he was governor.

What would Charlie Crist know about the struggles of average Floridians? The answer is nothing.