2015 April

Sunday, April 12, 2015


Published daily since 2002. Published randomly since Spring of 2015

[The Former Coconut Telegraph(Formerly Ed: After 13 years I stopped publishing the Coconut Telegraph on the first day of Spring. This site is too much for one person to operate. From now on I think I’ll publish when I have enough posts I like that can fill the page. Contributors will be by invitation only, in order to exclude negativity, sewers and politics. Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until I figure out what I’m doing. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)
iwatch[The New iWatch] Apple hasn’t marketed a new device since well before Steve Jobs died in 2011. And I think he’d be rolling over in his grave if he saw the new iWatch released this week. Apple seems to be following Microsoft’s example of releasing a product before it’s finished and then making it actually work in version 2. The iWatch is very thick (six quarters stacked high) has only six apps and doesn’t do much more than track your exercise workout and tell time. It’s water ‘resistant’ not waterproof. There’s no browser and you can’t send email. You still have to have an iPhone in your pocket for the iWatch to be of any use. I could spend that $1000 better by buying a real watch, but who wants to have to strap a device on and off every day like a cowboy going to town strapping on his six-shooter. One of the advantages of an iPhone is that you don’t have to wear a watch anymore because it has the time right on the front!
I love the new Former Coconut Telegraph and the new Former Ed’s attitude. I love the once or twice a week or month schedule and the dirty jokes and politically incorrect shit and no f**king politics or personal attacks. .Somehow I think it harkens back to the days when it first started. Oh yeah, and I’m always sick of hearing from those people who have to bitch about  how “their” Keys aren’t like they used to be. Ironic, huh?
It’s crappie season at Grand Lake in Oklahoma!
American Rivers’ Most Endangered River for 2015: The Colorado River in The Grand Canyon. Leave it as it is! Link
I spotted the first bloom of spring on our Royal Poinciana tree. It isn’t much, but a portend of things to come.
It’s just a matter of time before all police wear body cameras. Why are they waiting? It’s just like gay marriage, it’s inevitable.
Cenchrus incertus
 the sandspur, my least favorite grass seed.
Manna from heaven. Oh, my gosh! Just yesterday a friend down on Key Insane (KW) asked me what was interesting said on the CT lately. I told her that Ed had turned it off. Well, I thought Id just hit the old place because my addiction to it was flaring up. Behold! Holy BPK Kee! There she was with a new date!
Former Ed, yup your baby got into its teens, time to change tactics but I knew you couldn’t abandon your kid. Now that its old enough to know better, relax and enjoy your new relationship. You only live once, so let it be and go back to the fun stuff.Fun stuff:
~Oh boy, I can finally run to Winn Dixie without sitting thru 3 light changes, whew, they’re leaving in droves. Yay, until next Jan. Uhg.
~Anyone got any idea when the Tom Thumb is supposed to get its make-over and Subway?
~Is it my imagination or did every mango in the lower Keys have a double bloom?
easter9I for one enjoyed the Easter “sextoon”. I don’t see how anyone could have been offended. In fact I talked my wife into “us” trying it, but for some strange reason it really didn’t look as good with the man delivering the Easter eggs. I’m still working on that one.
Irony: Hyphenated, Non-Hyphenated
executioner chain mail
Cops have to be trained to control their rage. They deal with the lowest of the low. Up until now they could do whatever they wanted — kill, beat, plant weapons — but those days are rapidly fading. Of course they want to kill all the assholes, but that’s not their job. They aren’t the judge nor executioner. Now with all the cameras around we are finally seeing how often they take the law into their own hands and it is frightening. Soon all police will wear body cameras and that will make their vigilantism a thing of the past.
There are over sixteen hundred bridges in America that are structurally ‘deficient’ meaning they could collapse at any time and we do nothing about it. The Minneapolis bridge that collapsed had the ‘structurally deficient’ designation.
ftr[FTR] Even when he’s not on Coconut Telegraph he’s still funny. “Leading conservative of our time”, really? A man who kept his anonymity with the title of FTR guy and a fan base in the low twenties
[A Day Of Rest] Germany holds to much the same Monday-to-Friday workweek rhythm as the rest of the world, but on Sun­days it skips a beat. This uber-efficient country, which puts more re­strictions on Sunday activities than nearly all of its neighbors, nearly shuts down. Laws regulating shopping hours and noise levels mean stores shut, lawnmowers fall silent, and woe unto him who flips the switch on an electric tool. Sunday reflects the importanceGermans place on quality of life, neighborly consideration and the need to unwind. The postwar consti­tution safeguards Sundays and recog­nized holidays as “days of rest and spiritual edification.” Most Germans use the day to get outdoors, visit friends or, hit the gym or pool. “Sonn­tagsruhe” is one term they use. It simply means “Sunday rest.” Opening Sundays to shopping is fiercely resisted, mainly by churches and labor unions. Efforts by retailers and businesses to loosen the rules have also been unsuccessful. But a blanket prohibition was lifted in 2006, when states were allowed to designate a certain number of Sun­days as open for shopping. In Hesse, where Frankfurt is located, four are permitted each year. Anyone considering undertaking outdoor chores or home improve­ments will be in for a surprise.Regu­lations limit noise levels, forbidding the use of electric tools like drills and leaf blowers, as well as hammering, sawing and loud music. At recycling containers, it’s even prohibited to throw away glass jars and bottles on Sunday because of the noise. Heavy trucks are banned from Ger­man roads on Sunday. The aim is two­fold, to relieve streets and cities of noise and traffic, and to give drivers a break. People who work weekends have trouble finding time to spend with family and friends, so Sunday shouldn’t be a work day for anyone unless it’s absolutely essen­tial.
[Jogging Companion or War Machine?] This is amazing and truly remarkable engineering. Video
[Key Colony Beach in Review] A must see video for anyone who lives in or vacations in Key Colony Beach, Florida. Video
gangster violin case[Mob Night Gala] The Sons and Daughters of Italy, Lodge 2436 present a “Mob Night Gala” at New York Pasta Garden, 1075 Duval Street, #2, on Sunday, 26 April, from 6-8PM.  Come join us for a night of fun, food, and music Italian style with strolling concertina player, Steve Allerton.  Dress in your favorite Mob Attire and compete in our costume contest.  There will be scratch-off games with prizes, 50-50 and lots of “Viva Italia”. Ticket donation is only $60 and includes Italian music, Italian buffet dinner, dessert, cocktails, wine and all taxes and gratuities!  Proceeds benefit our local charities.  Tickets are available at or by calling (305) 942-3025
Ed, (Formerly), Very glad to see you back! This is coming from a long time local who has seen a lot of change in the Keys over the years, some good, some bad. You being back is definitely one of the good changes. Thanks for hanging in there!
Big Pine Cone Fishing Team.
Canadian road rage
[Sewers] Editorial — The CitizenThe ongoing saga of the multimillion dollar Lower Keys Wastewater System has entered a new phase of controversy. After years of urging by a multitude of local activists, the Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority (FKAA) has acquiesced to calls for the installation of a deep injection well at the new waste treatment plant on Cudjoe Key.The decision to install a deep well came after alarming results showed up from a test on the shallow well system, which had already been installed.

For a bit of background, after receiving and treating hundreds of thousands of gallons a day of sewage, something must be then done with the treated water. While the water is now quite clean, it is not completely pure and still contains some nutrients as well as pharmaceuticals, which are evidently particularly difficult to remove.

So what to do with the water? It gets pumped down into the ground.

How far down you ask? That, dear readers, is the big question, and one we feel should have been answered LONG before now.

This system gathers untreated sewage from Lower Sugarloaf all the way up to the farthest reaches of Big Pine. All this waste is then pumped to a brand-new, state-of-the-art waste treatment facility in a remote area of Cudjoe Key. Well over $100 million and many years have gone into the planning, engineering, permitting and construction of the new system and companion treatment facility.

While the sailing hasn’t always been smooth, the system is substantially complete and could be weeks from being started up. We say “could be” because now, at this 11th hour, a huge problem has arisen.

You guessed it, what to do with the treated water.

It seems that after a year of protests and multiple lawsuits against the use of the proposed shallow well system, the big problem remains.

In an effort to put the topic to rest, the FKAA decided to have tests done on the shallow wells by Florida International University. Needless to say, the tests didn’t go as hoped.

While the formal report of tests has yet to be finalized, preliminary results showed some type of substance bubbling up out of the ground soon after test water was pumped down into the wells.

So what now? Well, the FKAA and its partner, Monroe County, have quickly acted to change direction and install a deep injection well.

Easy, right? No, nothing is ever easy in the Keys.

For one thing, one doesn’t just drill a 2,000-foot deep injection well. There is a process. Plans, permits, bidding, etc. Long story short, a working well is at best a year away.

Then there is also the pesky detail of the well costing somewhere around $6 million.

We find it impossible not to ask why these tests were not done at the beginning of this project? Was all this caused by bad advice from engineers? Were corners cut to save money? Who is responsible for all of this and will anyone be held accountable?

The many groups of concerned citizens who have forced the county and FKAA to do the right thing have done a great service for us all and we thank you.

This osprey nest is on Tarpon Belly Key, but no one was home.
I posted a while back (before your temporary departure) asking if anyone knew the height/clearance of the canal bridge on Watson Blvd in Eden Pines. I’m wondering if a 21ft bay boat with t-top can make it through at either high or low tide. I’m hoping you can repost this to see if I can get a reply. Thank you very much. It’s good to see the CT back up and running
Maybe that Yamaha motorcycle owner should have bought this 1973 TX500, four stroke. Original engine, never been apart. Still runs like a dream. (Formerly Ed: That was na outboard motor he wrote about)
[Your Resume] I watched an interesting interview with the HR person at Google about their unusual hiring policies. They don’t like resumes or Ivy League Colleges. They prefer to see what an applicant can actually do in a work situation. Can he solve problems, think differently than others, and persevere. They say disqualifying an applicant based on his resume was losing them some very fine people. A resume doesn’t tell them how you perform, only how you should perform. Google spends very little on training because the people they do hire already know how to do the job as opposed to resume hires who look good on paper, but don’t know a damned thing about the work Google does. They prefer someone from a crappy college who’s had to put themselves through school because that shows determination and stick-to-it-ness. They also want those that are already working instead of the unemployed. They actively watch and communicate with people they have their eye on with the hope they can lure them to Google eventually.
[“Word document disappears. When I closed it I remember it ‘blinking’. Has that happened to anyone else?”] Yes, this is a common problem but is easily corrected. Most people have heard the terms – “static” and “dynamic” used when referring to PC programs. Your computer is stuck in “static” mode. The solution is simple and inexpensive. Get some dryer sheets, preferably Downy that control anti-static cling. Take a dozen of them along with you PC and put them in your dryer, set on medium heat, for 20 minutes. Voila! No more pesky and annoying PC problems. This also works with cell phones, tablets and yes, especially all Apple products.
[Phishing] I saw your email address during the course of my research today. My name is Bill William Groner my wife and I won a Jackpot Lottery of $50 Million Dollars in December 2013, we are donating the sum of $1 million Dollars to 6 lucky individual all over the world as part of our charity project. Do get back to us for further details on how to get the donation.
email bunnyAloha Gang! On Tuesday, Verizon “updated” their email server unannounced. Which, of course, caused my email to stop working. The first call to Tech Support was an exercise in futility. I got some mouth-breather who could barely speak English, plus he muttered below audible levels and talked in circles. He finally told me that Verizon no longer supported my Eudora email client and hung up on me. I was furious! After I cooled down I went searching for a new client and chose Mozilla Thunderbird. Ok, then I called back to Verizon Tech and got a different guy. He took over my machine by remote assistance and configured Thunderbird while I watched and got everything working. The bottom line is: Verizon changed their port assignments for email. That’s all! If the first guy had known that instead of bullshitting me, I could have been up and running in five minutes. Aaarrughhh!
Thanks for bearing with my rant. I hope you all enjoy this weeks’ offering. Mahalo!
Sanctuary Advisory Council meeting April 21, 2015, 9:30 a.m. – 3:45 p.m. at The Westin Key West Resort and Marina, 245 Front Street, Key West, Fla., 33040. NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary will hold a public meeting of the Sanctuary Advisory Council in Key West, Fla., on Tuesday, April 21, 2014.The meeting opens at 9:30 a.m., followed by a brief update on the latest steps in the development of the draft Environmental Impact Statement as part of the sanctuary’s marine zoning and regulatory review led by Beth Dieveney, the sanctuary’s deputy superintendent for science and policy. At 10:35 a.m., Dr. Jeremy Jackson, a coral reef ecologist with the Smithsonian Institution and Scripps Institute of Oceanography, will give a talk on “Status and Trends of Caribbean Coral Reefs.” At 1:30 p.m., City of Key West Mayor Craig Cates will present a formal request to create a voting seat representing the city on the Advisory Council. At 2:00 Sanctuary Superintendent Sean Morton will give a brief update on the Water Quality Protection Program. At 2:15, there will be a discussion on the next steps of the Artificial Habitat Working Group.Before any Advisory Council decisions are made or actions taken, public comment will be taken. Public comment for items not on the agenda will be taken at 2:45 p.m., followed by general reports from state and federal agencies on recent activities.


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