2015 April

Sunday to Saturday, April 26 – May 2, 2015


Published daily since 2002. Published randomly since Spring of 2015

Submit anything of a positive nature, but no national politics or sewer stuff unless it’s breakthrough stuff to
(Ed: Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)
1all-stbd-18k2003 Yamaha Four-Stroke 225 Hp Outboard Motor. Model F225TXRB. Extremely well maintained. Only 454 hours. Perfect working condition. Top performance. Good fuel economy, very quiet, powerful and clean. $8,000.
Yamaha gauges. Tachometer and multi-function gauge (new in 2012)
Helm control (new in 2012)
Control cables (new in 2012)
Key switch (new in 2012)
Wiring harness (new in 2012)
Clymer repair manual
The motor is on a 21.6′ bayboat and can be tested from the Little Torch Key boat ramp. No free rides please.  Link
posionwood-berriesThe protected poisonwood trees are all in bloom making the berries favored by the endangered White Crown Pigeon. In another couple of months those birds will fly from the Bahamas to feed on these berries, their favorite food.
700,000 shore birds died as a result of the BP oil spill. Now BP is saying they don’t have enough money to pay the proposed fine of 18 billion dollars. As of today, BP has 32.8 billion dollars in the bank.
jumping on computer
[Motherf**king Motherboards] (Formerly Ed: For those of you keeping track of my computer woes I want to let you know that I just had motherboard number 6 replaced in my five year old Dell XPS. My warrantee expires in July when I’ll buy a workstation and be done with hardware problems.) 
[Small Sites Doomed] Florida lawmakers are trying to impose new rules on internet sites. Under their law, if posts a YouTube link to a song or video, Formerly Ed’s name, address and contact information must be posted along with the link.Florida legislators are considering proposals that could undermine core principles that have helped keep the Internet open and free. California and Tennessee already have passed such laws.
chicken dance
[Bad Day For Chickens] Up to 5.3 million hens at an Iowa farm must be destroyed after the highly infectious and deadly bird flu virus was confirmed
[Crossbow Nuts] A 13-year-old Spanish boy armed with a crossbow and a machete killed a substitute teacher and wounded four other people at his school in Barcelona on Monday. He had to use a crossbow because guns aren’t allowed in Spain and there’s no 2d Amendment, thus no gun nuts!
[Body Art] Momma said to beware of painted woman ,but this chameleon is actually 2 painted women.
[Marathon Journal] The Marathon City Council met April 20th at the Monroe County Government Center:Severn Trent going public with city business is just plain wrong. I would fire this contractor. Frank Greenman made comments about the firing and one resignation of a city employee. He said that it was an embarrassment for the city. I disagree. City Manager Mike Puto will get this resolved. The newspapers were trying to sensationalize this; more reporting and less conjecture.Florida Keys Days at Tallahassee Legislature was a success. Every councilmember went except one.Bull has been working on a sister city invitation to a similar town in Sardinia, Italy.Marathon City Manager Mike Puto read from a prepared statement that they will no longer seek a Deputy City Manager due to council input most likely. Mike said that he would stay on until December 31 or if a new manager is hired before that date.Councilman Zieg tried to get City Council meetings every three weeks. It was shot down with a 3-2 vote against.Ordinance 2015-04-17 amended code Chapter 2, Article 6, Division 2 pertaining to purchasing requirements.Resolution 2015-37 requested an extension of one year for the Coconut Cay Development Agreement.Resolution 2015-39 requested the City abandon the right of way located at 924 and 996 99th Street for Jim Goff. Council denied the request.Resolution 2015-33 amended an original contract with David Douglas and Associates for utility design and permitting services previously approved.Resolution 2015-38 approved certain purchases of $10,000 and less than $25,000.Resolution 2015-40 accepted a release of owner occupied deed restrictions for property located at 1872 107th St Gulf.Resolution 2015-41 adopted amendment #6 to the Community Development Block Grant contract between the city and the state Department of Economic Opportunity.

Resolution 2015-42 accepted the Sole Responsive and Responsible Proposal and approving a contract between the city and Coffin Marine Service in an amount not to exceed $92,000 for Phase 5 improvements at Oceanfront Park.

Resolution 2015-43 approved a project agreement with Wade Trim for pump station design, permitting and bid services for the Marriott and other commercial projects in Wastewater Service Area 3 for $142,000.

[Recap of the 2015 7 Mile Bridge Race] Another great day for another great race. Please sit back and watch the half hour show. Video
[Variable Rewards] The CT may be even more addictive than when it was published on a (mostly) regular basis. Now, one doesn’t know exactly when it will be published. This results in what the behavioral psychologists call “variable reward”. (like pulling the handle on a slot machine. )”A little like religion and a lot like sex, you should never know when you’re going to get it next.”
vodka7I’m so old, I remember when vodka only came in vodka flavor.
[Comcast] My bill jumped $31.63. After wading through their convoluted phone menu I spoke to a foreigner with an accent that resembled Stephan Hawking’s electronic voice. What I was able to interpret was that I had a special rate, that I was unaware of, and I could have a new plan that I couldn’t understand either (they seem to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to nickle and dime us).The man seemed to be telling me I had a new plan but he wasn’t able to tell me exactly how much I would be paying? I questioned him on this and he replied in doublespeak I couldn’t understand. I asked if I was the first customer to have a new plan; and, if not, why couldn’t he tell me how much it will be? More doubletalk. Instead of improving their billing policies Comcast has recently hired 40 new people to monitor Facebook and other social media to provide more double-talk to convince customers that they are not screwing them. It will take more than 40 spinners to do that.
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
Here’s an easy to follow chart of those mysterious symbols on your clothing.
I am so happy to see former Dear Ed and the Coconut Telegraph back in its new form. I just clicked on it for old time sake and found about a month’s worth to read. You absolutely made my day! I was having withdrawal symptoms.
computer worms
[Malware] I have received three e-mail messages that say that I must appear in District Court and to be sure I have all of my files and documentation with me. There is, of course, an attachment. If you receive this message do not open it or the attachment. The attachment contains a nasty virus detected by my security software.
If Comcast is allowed to merge with Time-Warner they will be too big to fail meaning they can do what they want without fear of repercussion. If you think they get away with shady practices now, just wait and see what a merger will bring.Here’s a little exercise in futility: Pretend you’re a new customer and try to find what the service will cost without promotions. It took me 3 phone calls before I was able to argue with the phone person enough that he actually told me the truth. The real cost was alarming considering the few channels I watch.
And now the conspiracy theory of the week. Link
Science fiction with incredible humanity from a brilliant feminist writer. This is the first dramatisation of Ursula Le Guin’s 1969 novel which is as groundbreaking in its approach to gender as when it was first published over 45 years ago. Audio
london bridgeThe bridge in Eden Pines over the canal is approximately 10’ clearance at very high tide and about 11.5’ clearance at low tide. I measured it a long time ago to see if a 26’ Sea Ray cabin cruiser would go under. It did — no problem. The measurements are from memory which is scary, but I feel sure the is 11’ clearance at low tide. It should be on a chart somewhere.
[Closing the Reef] A coral scientist told the Marine Sanctuary Advisory Council a third of the reef line must be closed to any human activity if it is to be saved.I said from the beginning if you give them an inch they’ll take the whole thing from the people.
[Phishing] I am mrs Patricia Aquino a born again christian and a widow i want to do donation of 5million dollars to help orphans and widows,and charity foundation in your home country and i assumed that you can help and get this found and use it to my wishes to the needs of your country,and i seriously illed (cancer tumor operation in europe please always putting me in your daily prayers because i do not know where it will end me.please reply back to me immediately for more details of the fund.  (Formerly Ed: Did you notice how the phisher didn’t even know what country they were writing too?)
waving chinese girl[Kill All The Girls] After walking through the village we sat down for a short time under the shade of a large banyan tree. A large concourse of people soon gathered around us to see the foreigners and hear what they had to say. In this crowd we found by counting nearly a hundred boys, and but two or three girls. Also when walking through the village very few girls were to be seen. The custom of binding the feet of the girls, which greatly affects their power of locomotion, would account for more boys being seen than girls, but will not account for the disparity noticed. We therefore inquired the cause of this disparity. They answered with laughter that female children are killed. The same question has been asked again and again at the various villages we have visited and the same answer. ~Forty Years In South China (1841)
Damn, someone has got his panties in a knot. I send in two sentences, and he replies with a whole manifesto. All I can say is this. I don’t understand your specific kind of crazy, but I do admire your total commitment to it.
[Dead Marsh Rabbits on US1]  You would think the brainiacs at USFW services, in their infinite wisdom, would devise a way to keep peter cottontail off the highway. And now they are building wood rat condos next to US1 on Key Largo.  These people are not brilliant.
[CT] Thanks For what you do. I fully understand the constant drain of psysco-babble from lowers Key residents can get a person down. I was just curious with the new and improved CT has your alcohol consumption dropped to the level that it could seriously hurt the Big Pine liquor industry? We do not want to lose Springer’s or the Nut because you are not wound so tight reading all the nastiness.
mouse trap
[“How to get rid of rats in your attic”
] Glue traps work great and so do conventional spring type rat traps.
[Arrested 22 times] Tami Murray a 56-year-old homeless woman with a history of arrests is back in the Key West jail after police say she threw a garbage can against a pizzeria’s window she has been arrested previously 22 times since 2011.
Garlits-Lisa-Engaged[Racing] Last weekend, Don Garlits brought his battery-powered electric dragster to Bradenton, Fl. Dragway for another attempt to break 200mph in the 1/4 mile. He had made some changes since his last test session. Apparently there is some kind of battery discharge curve that was giving the engineers a problem.
So Garlits installed a Lenco 2-speed transmission behind the electric motors! However he fell victim to a brake failure. So he loaded it up and brought it back to the shop.Garlits is amazing. He’s 83 years old and after losing his wife Pat last year he’s now engaged to a lovely lady named Lisa Crigar. I just hope she’s not a gold digger looking to separate an old man from his money because if that’s the case she’s in for a big surprise. Many years ago Garlits’ crew chief told me, “The old man is so cheap, he’d save sh*t in a bag if he could figure out how to keep it from stinking.”
Deer (I refuse to say ‘former’) Ed, My friends thank you, as I have now risen from my whimpering fetal position since you have returned. I’ll take the CT any way I can, daily or occasionally. Welcome back!
[Conspiracy] Sunday’s comment about Ed closing the Coconut Telegraph because of outside pressure might be a point to consider because of the sewer and Monroe county feedback people have posted over the years. The newspapers will not post people’s points of view without being paid to do so and at that, censor posts not to make waves. I like the new Coconut Telegraph and hope someday to find a blog in the Keys that allows people to vent their opinions fully like most blogs do. The sooner the better I think so we know what is going on.
911 flashing red light[Emergency] Every so often a public service announcement is made regarding the improper and also illegal use of the 911 system. I agree fully with this announcement. Should I be having a heart attack or my neighbor’s house is on fire I wouldn’t want a busy signal because someone is trying to find Maple St or a good restaurant.However, I do wish that the “regular” number was made available so we could use it. I’m willing to bet 90% of the population do not know what that number is. One time I was given a “regular” number to call by a dispatcher because she was very angry I called 911, and that regular number went to an answering machine and that call was never returned.(Monroe county sheriff: (305) 745-3184, Key West Police: (305) 294-2511)
After watching all those UFO shows I realized that the only people filming them are those making money off the gullible.
Men cheat because men are a**holes. Woman cheat because men are a**holes.
rosie the riveter
R.I.P. Mary Doyle Keefe, aka Rosie the Riveter. Link
[“Grinder pumps and dental floss”]  I personally purchased the model 671, which requires no flossing and saving time.
newton apple gravity
[“When you alter gravity, you affect time”
] Indeed. Over time, gravity has affected my physique – everything has shifted toward the source of gravity. Also known as “gravity always wins”.
[From The Right] Somebody wrote that the economy was improving and people were feeling better. Personally I’d feed better if the middle class wasn’t shrinking, if the unemployment rate was back to what it was  in January of 2007, and if 70% of us Americans were not dissatisfied with the direction the country is heading. ~FTR
Submit anything of a positive nature, but no national politics or sewer stuff unless it’s breakthrough stuff to
(Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)