2013 July

Sunday, July 21, 2013


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[No Grinder Pumps] A group of residents has not  ruled out filing a lawsuit to stop  grinder pumps and a low-pressure sewer system from being  installed as part of multi-million-dollar Lower Keys wastewater project.

The residents have banded  together under the name “The  Sir Isaac Newton Coalition.”  They want the county and  Florida Keys Aqueduct  Authority to use a gravity sewage pumping system that does  not require the use of electricity, and named their group  after the man who came up  with the first law of gravity.

nira tocco realtor 9.12

[The Biggest Hackers] The National Security Agency has hacked computers in China and Hong Kong since 2009.There have been 61,000 NSA hacking operations globally. We hack network backbones–like huge internet routers, basically–that give us access to the communications of hundreds of thousands of computers without having to hack every single one. The US says it’s okay because we’re the good guys. Yeah, right.




[“Fires on the Beach”] I was lucky to rent an apartment above the beach in Corona del Mar, CA. The apartment was scheduled to be raised for the construction of a condominium at some future date. That explains my luck and how I was able to afford it. The years were 1980-81. The view included Santa Catalina, The Greek fishermen, who rowed out at Newport Beach at night and returned at daybreak, sweet honey’s on the beach, and at night there were fires in the rings as far as I could see up the beach toward Huntington. All wondrous to this Florida boy. I don’t recall smelling any smoke or being bothered by the folks enjoying the fires. I remember more vividly the smell of coco butter as I drank my morning coffee on the porch overlooking the inlet and ocean as folks started arriving at the beach.

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[Internet Lies] The story posted yesterday about Trayvon Martin’s use of an intoxicant made from Skittles, Arizona Iced Tea, and cough syrup has been kicking around the Internet for a few days. The poster gave a link to a blog that references a link to the autopsy report. The autopsy report says that the toxicological results are in a different report, and gives no link to that report. So what have we learned about the truth of the claim? Absolutely nothing!

A poster here linked a blogger who picked up the story elsewhere without checking it all the way back. Please folks, just because you read something and a link was given, it is not necessarily true. Either check it out yourself all the way back or don’t repost it. You could be passing around a lie.





Mini Lobster season is July 24 and July 25. FANCI SEAFOOD has complete Lobster Kits, Dive Flags, Nets and we also have 50lbs of Ice for $5. Come and visit our new store at 22290 Oversea’s Hwy. MM 22.3 on Cudjoe Key.

[Editor Doesn’t Suck] Deer Ed, Thank you for all the years of putting the Coconut Telegraph together.  So many of us love it and need it.  Wondering if you make a little money on it and are people send you gift cards?  You deserve it!  Sorry that I sometimes send too many whines than kudos.  Three cheers for our Deer Ed.  You da man.  Make me a big cheeseburger on a hogie bun, please.  Your recipes here are outstanding as well.  Do you know how to make that Key Lime pasta?  The key is Key limes, not regular limes.  How about a Coconut Telegraph restaurant?  On Bonaire, chef Hagen is making lionfish sandwiches and have heard they are super-yum.  Thanks again for your services.  


[Detroit files for bankruptcy] The goose that laid the golden egg is dead. Detroit has an opportunity to free itself from unsustainable debt. As the new leaner, meaner America faces the facts of finance she can be the shining city on the hill. Long live the new Detroit!

“City upon a Hill” is a phrase from the parable of Salt and Light in Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount. In Matthew 5:14, he tells his listeners, “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.” It has become popular with American politicians. The term is also influenced by Plato’s Republic and the concept of the “good city” – a city-state governed by philosopher kings.

yellow21The story behind football’s innovative yellow first down line. While the line looks simple on TV, the technology behind it is very complex. Sensors were placed on the three main game cameras (at midfield and the two 20 yard lines), capturing the pan, tilt and zoom movements of those cameras 30 times a second. A three-dimensional, virtual model of each field had to be constructed, with the exact measurements of the crown of the field (the center of the field is always higher, for drainage, than the sides and ends, but the precise levels vary in each venue). An exhaustive color palette had to be produced on the fly as the game progressed, so that the green pixels of grass the yellow line replaced would be exactly the “right greens” even as shadows crossed the field and changed the grass hues — an essential feature to assure replacing only the green blades of grass and not the green threads of a Packers or Eagles jersey. Link

[“There are 24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case”] That’s why I always by a thirty pack. I need more time to drink.



As I was looking at the MCSO arrest report this morning I noticed a huge upswing in drug trafficking arrests. I hope this continues. Please get the loser meth heads out of the Keys. I am sick of dealing with them at work. Give me hippies over radicals any day! Menu > Arrest Reports Mug Shots

[“Safety conscious with all the aluminum railings”] If the powers to be were really safety conscious, they would have put up those rails on the road side of the bike path. Falling off a two foot drop is nothing compared to getting hit by a two ton vehicle. I suspect the contributor was being a little facetious. I believe that the real reason the railings are there has nothing to to do with citizen safety and everything to do with someone’s friend or relative making a lot of money.

[Bigot] When is a Skittle not a candy? When a black man eats them. If a white man had a bag of Skittles there would be no mention of using them to make drugs. Bigots all!

an_caveman_carving_stone[New Thought Luddites] Everyone agrees that solar is expensive and not ready for prime time. It is an emerging technology. Why do so many of you go out of your way to portray emerging technologies in such a poor light. Do you want to drill for more oil? Is that what it is? Should we stop researching and investing in emerging technologies? Will that satisfy you? Are you pissed that we don’t still use stone wheels because rubber is too expensive? You get angry because an Eco lodge is proposed for the Keys. Anything to bring attention to the planet’s problems your type seems to dismiss and resent.

Do you seriously think someone who spends $35 grand solarizing their house or buys an electric car doesn’t know the technology isn’t perfect and is too expensive? Was the first car or electric light bulb perfect, cheap and efficient? No.

There’s a lot of money to be made from alternate energy and conservation and eco-tourism. Why are you types so against that and insist on doing things as they were done in the past–using fossile fuel and raping the environment. Making fun or criticizing people for embracing new technologies and inventions shows ignorance. Luddites! 

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Detroit in ruins. Crowder goes ghetto! Video

an_brain75Brain Study: If you can read this out loud you have a strong mind:

7H15 M3554G3

53RV35 7O PR0V3


D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!

1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!

1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG

17 WA5 H4RD BU7

N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3


R34D1NG 17


W17H 0U7 3V3N

7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,


C3R741N P30PL3 C4N

R3AD 7H15. 

fanci ad 7-16-13

[“Solar Power Good”] Someone call the guy out who posted that lame denouncement of solar power as uneconomical. Click on the author, consider his credentials to comment, much less offer a conclusion based on misleading facts. Consider the Econ. 101 term “opportunity cost,” consider the cost of a dam, nuke plant, coal and steam generators, ad infinitum. Cost is not just dollars and cents. It is also a matter of good sense.

shut the fuck up an


[“Cracker vs Nigra(sp)”] Enough is enough already. This classic sums it all. Video 

[Bands] I was walking up to the Little Tiki Friday night expecting to enjoy a good Friday night rock band. As I got closer all I heard was a lone banjo plinking out a slow rendition of Dueling Banjos. I left in a big hurry in search of a band. I listened to a great duo at the Big Tiki but I still wanted a full rock band. I finally found them down at Mangrove Mamas, complete with half of the Little Tiki crowd.

And as for the Little Tiki, I officially declare Friday, July 19, 2013 as The Day the Music Died.




This lamp has everything my mom ever found in my pockets when doing laundry for me when I was little. She gave it to me at my wedding.

After being followed by a stranger with a gun, at night, I don’t think you can call it an “attack” on Zimmerman.


[Zimmerman] If some gun-toting dude was following me at night and I had the opportunity, I’d attack him first.



Look, I made a salad and am eating healthier!

County’s land acquisition bill could reach $320 million in 10 years. Link

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It must have been a really slow day and lack of posters to include those two posts: [“Keyboard Challenged Post”] and [“His Brother Writes:”] Or did you just want to show how there are some who should not even try to type a complete sentence? I will admit to having enjoyed them more than all the sewer grinding posts!

I’m suggesting these kinds of posts be placed in a ‘SHIT HAPPENS’ section of the Coconut Telegraph. 




[Septic tank conversion to cistern] Yes, you can do this. It is a special variance permit through the State of FL Department of Health.  It was begun several years ago, and is a bit challenging in the paperwork process, but doable.  The DOH variance hearings are held every 3-4 months, I think, usually upstate somewhere. The good news is you don’t have to be present.  Call your local DOH Environmental Health office in Marathon 305-289-2721 or Key West 305-809-5670.  FKAA doesn’t know a thing about it, has nothing to do with it, so don’t call them.  The septic tank must be professionally pumped and cleaned, and an inspection is done on the conversion by a DOH inspector.  

[Zimmerman vs Martin] Mr. Ed, I am posting in regards to the question mark placed in front of my post of Thurs. the 19th. Maybe I assumed too much, when I surmised that readers would see that my reference was to the many posts made ala, Zimmerman vs Martin. The point I was attempting to get across was that the arguments presented by the left were the same arguments presented ad-nauseum whenever a minority suffers harm from any one of a supposedly higher station for whatever reason.

I truly believe I am about as race neutral a person as one will ever find, if I somewhere harbor some racist fragments I am truly not aware of them, I also believe I am a realist with my share of common sense, I find it getting very frustrating and one indeed gets bone weary however listening to the professional race hustlers, ala Al Sharpton, Jessie Jackson, and what seems to be swarms of like minded folks, who continually make absolutely absurd statements on the subject of race, to call the likes of Sharpton and Jackson Etc. noble leaders seems to me as absurd as the ludicrous statements they espouse, they seem to be enjoying their few minutes of fame while helping to tear asunder this great country, hence the name race hustlers, I used the name poverty pimps as I find them so closely linked. 

an_spring-boingDamn Good Food! Happy Hour starts at 11:30 am (Hurray!)

Sundays starting at 6 pm Live music by Joe Mama

Sunday is Prime Rib Night – Reduced Price $19.95

Come join us for Music, Great Food and Drinks!

(New kitchen hours. Sun.-Thurs 11:30-9 Fri.-Sat. 11:30-10)

County gives initial OK for Zoological Parks.  Link


A fool and his money, are soon elected!




[Shop Early] Christmas can’t be far behind. Photo July 20th. Greenville, S.C.

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old exercise weighs an

[Senior Fitness Classes] There is a fee that is charged for the class, however, it is still not enough to assist with all of the program fees. Some instructors only get paid from the fees they bring in and when enrollment is low their generous hearts pretty much work for nothing. I am trying very hard to keep the program going. It would be so helpful if you could post this flyer or help us out in any way. (Ed: Would the sender, please contact me because I lost your email.)

Bonsai, controlled gardening in miniature. Link

isaksen-flood 4.23.13

[No One’s Watching] I talk to lots of people in lots of bars in the Keys, and only one out of a hundred ever heard of the Coconut Telegraph Blog. With all the important stuff posted here, it isn’t getting read by the people enough. I pass the BPK.COM address on to everyone I know. I hope others here do the same. We need to get people to know what’s going on in the Keys.



[Please return my bike] To whoever helped themselves to my bike this morning, which was in front of 29111 Watson in BPK, would you please return it to me. It is an Aero brand red cruiser with black handlebars. I use it to commute to my summer job at the fruit stand and for exercise, and I will really miss it. Please return it, no questions asked. I can be reached at Bulletin Board > Lost and Found

[Vacant Land] County wants State or Feds to buy vacant land in the Keys.



National Ice Cream Day! A holiday I can support. In 1984, President Ronald Reagan designated July as National Ice Cream Month and the third Sunday of the month as National Ice Cream Day. He recognized ice cream as a fun and nutritious food that is enjoyed by a full 90 percent of the nation’s population. In the proclamation, President Reagan called for all people of the United States to observe these events with “appropriate ceremonies and activities.”

In honor of this most excellent holiday, Blue Bell Ice Cream is introducing its newest flavor, Rockslide Brownie!

[Grinder Pumps] Cudjoe Key Group threatens to sue to change sewer plans. Link

[Bugmobile] I woke last night to the glorious sound of the mosquito truck going by. I’d called and emailed several times, but only managed to get the number of mosquitoes counted over the last few months. I checked this am, and still have lots of butterflies flitting around the garden. Perhaps the butterflies are tougher in Marathon.



Happy Moon Day! 

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[Sale] The person who bought the building that the PURR-FECT Thrift store in Marathon is in will not continue to rent to them, so they are having a moving sale. The store helps fund the care and neutering of feral cats in the middle Keys by the Forgotten Felines, so they are hoping to find another building. However, they must prepare for the worst so they will be trying to sell as much merchandise as possible. If you’re looking for a bargain, now is the time to stop in. They are at 3580 Overseas Hwy. Across from the park. All money goes to the care of the cats.

I thought I should chime in on the killing of Tayvon Martin. It’s more a story of two idiots who ran into each other on a rainy night in Sanford.

Lets define the difference between racism — a belief that one’s race is superior to another and a doctrine based on that belief and prejudice — pre judging someone.

Prejudice occurs everyday and I every way and in every person. If I see a fat person I would assume that they don’t eat right, don’t exercise and generally have poor hygiene. I would do this in order to process what I have seen. File it in my brain and move on. When in fact it could be a glandular condition.

Zimmerman was a wanna be cop. We all know the type (see prejudice) and thought Martin was up to no good. He was black, wearing a hoodie, walking in between buildings in an area prone to crime perpetrated by blacks.

The father is to fault here too: Listen son. Use your brain. There have been a lot of breakins, I don’t want you to get caught up in it. Stay on the street. Use your head.

We need to toss stand your ground. If someone uses deadly force to defend themselves and its justifiable, who needs a law to protect them.




[Cracker] Has anyone else heard of the “cracker” term used because early Floridians used cracker meal  or is my mind wandering again.

[Grinder Pumps] After the hurricane our toilets begin to work as soon as storm waters recede. Did anyone notice that it took close to a month to get the Hurricane Sandy grinder pumps to work again.

lionfishwinner2nd Annual Marathon Invasive Lionfish Tournament. Sanctuary Friends Foundation will be hosting its 2nd Annual Two-Day Marathon Lionfish Tournament July 27-28, the weekend directly following lobster mini-season. Lionfish are an invasive species, pillaging our reefs. Registration is $100 and includes the lionfish tasting and dinner. The team meeting, last minute registration (add $20), lionfish Q&A and swag bag pick up will be held at 7p on Friday, July 26 at Captain Hooks with hotdogs provided by Centennial Bank’s Weenie Wagon. Final Counting Sunday, July 28 3-4p at Capt. Hooks. Following the counting, a lionfish dinner and award banquet will be held at Castaway Waterfront Restaurant. The public is invited to the lionfish dinner for $23 and will include raffles starting at 6:30p. Register at any participating Marathon dive shop or by contacting Bulletin Board

[Grinder Pumps] Funny, I was just thinking that the lies that are being told over and over again about the horrors of grinder pumps will become what people will believe. Someone beat me to the punch yesterday. He said that the FKAA has been using that strategy. At least he admits that it is a well known ruse.



The reason Stevie Wonder won’t play in Florida is he can’t even fill a high school gym. Plus all his manager has to do is tell him he is playing in some other warm state, how would he know.

[Captain Doom and Gloom] In the year 2014, Noah, who was now living in the Florida Keys, heard, again, from the Lord; and the Lord said “Once again, the Keys have become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.” “Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing, along with a few good humans and a couple of bartenders.” He gave Noah the blueprints, saying “You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.” Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark.  “Noah”, He roared, “I’m about to start the rain!  Where is the Ark?” “Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.” “I need a Building Permit.” “I’ve been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system and life jackets.” “My homeowners association claims that I’ve violated the neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my back yard, and exceeding the height limitations.  We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.” “Then the City Council and the Electricity Company demanded a boat load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea.  I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they laughed and would hear none of it.” “The FKAAu wants Grinder Pumps in every stall on board!” “Getting the wood was another problem.  There’s a ban on cutting local mangroves in order to save the Great Spotted Barn Owl’s Anal Tic.”  “I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owl’s tics- but no go!” “When I started gathering the animals, PETA took me to court.  They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will and might use them for a outdoor barbeque.  They argued the accommodations were too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.” “Then the Environmental Protection Agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on the proposed flood.” “The local USCG Commander wants to have a full time guard in my yard so I do not sneak in any firearms.” “I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.” “The Immigration Dept. is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work.” “The labor unions say I can’t use my sons.  They insist I have to hire only union workers with ark-building experience from Miami.” “To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.” “So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark.” “Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine and a rainbow stretched across the Keys.” Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the Keys?” “No,” said the Lord; “The bubbas beat me to it.” 
religion politics zone

The republicans shot themselves in the foot again by jumping on any chance or reason to try and make our President look bad. They are all in an uproar because the Attorney general wants a deeper investigation into the Trayvon Martin case. They claim it was already investigated. Guess what would have happened if the Republicans would have gotten their way and landed Romney in the Presidents seat? Here let Mitt Romney tell you.

“What happened to Trayvon Martin is a tragedy. There needs to be a thorough investigation that reassures the public that justice is carried out with impartiality and integrity”.  ~Mitt Romney

Bet no Conservatives try to drag Romney’s comments through the mud. Wonder why?

Only FTR can believe that a Hispanic man shooting a Black youth means that our President hates whitey! Folks, you can’t buy this type of entertainment. That was classic 1/4 truth guy all the way.

Barak says he sees himself 35 years ago as Trayvon. Jeez, somehow I have some difficulty picturing Trayvon as a scholarship student at the poshest, most exclusive prep schools in Hawaii.


What would it take to change FTR’s mind about anything? I’m sure he’d find some obscure radical website published by an out of work janitor in his underwear to refute whatever evidence he chooses not to agree with.

I can’t wait to see how FTR slams Obama for empathizing with the black man in his thoughtful speech. Would Skittles just be a candy and not a drug  if Trayvon was white, or do just black kids use drugs.

Talking to Liberals is like having to slap a TV several times to get a picture.


100 vigils planned in 100 cities to honor Trayvon Martin should have actually been for mourning and not honoring, the youth was up to no good.  For the president of the United States to say  ‘Trayvon Martin ‘could have been me'” is definitely an inappropriate statement, whatever the intent. 

[Detroit] Progressive politicians, wonks, and activists can only blame big corporations and other liberal bogeymen for so long. The truth is that corrupt machine politics in a one-party system devoted to the blue social model wrecked an entire city and thousands of lives beyond repair. The sooner blues come to terms with this reality, the greater chance other cities will have of avoiding Detroit’s fate. You gotta love socialism. Link

jeb21[Conspiracy Man] Being that I pride myself on being a free thinking & logical American, and to back up everything I post here, I do my research. The stand your ground law in the state of Florida was implemented by then governor, Jeb Bush on October 2005. How come the media failed to make this known? Could it be because Mr. Jeb Bush will announce his candidacy for President in 2016? Don’t you think that this fact is newsworthy? The difference between a sheeple and a shepherd is that a shepherd follows his own instincts and questions everything, and doesn’t rely on corporate controlled media for information. While sheeple just lazily follow the flock, even if the flock is falling off a cliff.

Why did all the news media fail or neglect to mention this — in my opinion — very important fact while transmitting into our brains the Zimmerman trial?

FTR challenges those who are of the view that racism is responsible for the sad situation of so many Americans of African ancestry to suggest to us a solution.

Only, Sir, when you decide to actually listen and open your mind instead of yammering. Until then, you ‘hear’ nothing even when its said directly to you. It’s impossible to actually have a debate, discussion or talk while you plug your ears, squint your eyes so tightly and refuse to learn something new.

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[Muslim Rules]1. It is a sin to pluck your eyebrows.2. It is against Islamic doctrine to have pictures in your home.3. If a Muslim wife refuses to wear a veil, others will see her as her husband’s slave rather than his wife.4. The punishment for having unmarried sex is whipping with a hundred lashes and then being exiled for a year.5. Getting into Paradise is usually not a sure thing. Your good deeds must outweigh your bad deeds, but who knows for sure if they do? But there are three things you can do to guarantee you’ll make it to Paradise: a) killing a non-Muslim in battle, b) if two of your children were killed fighting for Allah, or c) memorizing the ninety-nine names of Allah.6. Allah not just allows, but encourages Muslims to deceive non-Muslims if it will further the goals of spreading Islam.7. Women are not allowed to wear hair extensions or a wig.8. Wearing the color yellow is forbidden.9. A Muslim must avoid yawning. Mohammad said, “Yawning is from Satan.”10. Dogs should be killed. All dogs.11. Mohammad recommended women breastfeed young men. Then the men are considered family and would be allowed to talk to the woman unveiled. However, once she breastfed him, he would not be allowed to marry her.12. It is a sin to lie on your back and cross your feet.

from the right

an racistIt’s official, it is not FTR who has made the Zimmerman/Martin case political/racial, it is Mr. Obama, Mr. Holder, and legions of black leaders from Jessie Jackson to Stevie Wonder who have made the case a racially political hot potato.  Obama’s press conference comments on Friday that Martin could have been him 35 years ago were proof positive. Then he opined that the outcome and the aftermath would have been different if Martin had been white. His comments suggested that Zimmerman would have been convicted if Martin was white. That’s absolute nonsense. Deer Friends, if Martin had been white, would this case now be the wildfire that it has become? Would Obama et al be even remotely interested in this case if Zimmerman had been black? Don’t kid yourselves, Obama and black leadership have made this case into noxious racial mess.

Black leaders are ginning up protests this week. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are leading the howling pack. Probably by the time you read this it will be big news. They demand repeal of our “Stand Your Ground” laws. They refuse to acknowledge that that law had absolutely nothing to do with this case. They refuse to acknowledge that race had nothing to do with this case.

Did you know that there are 20 some states that have “Stand Your Ground” laws very similar to ours? Our Stand Your Ground law has benefitted Black Floridians more than White Floridians. Black Floridians have made about a third of the state’s total “Stand Your Ground” claims in homicide cases, a rate nearly double the black percentage of Florida’s population. The majority of those claims have been successful, a success rate that exceeds that for Florida whites.

Nonetheless, prominent Americans of African descent including Holder and “Ebony and Ivory” singer Stevie Wonder, who has vowed not to perform in the Sunshine State until the law is revoked, have made “Stand Your Ground” a central part of the Trayvon Martin controversy. Racial insanity! Do you suppose that any of this will have effect of improving racial relations? Even though relations between the races are most definitely improving, I must wonder if some of these leaders actually have any interest in promoting racial harmony, or do they promote discord and hate to further their own personal agenda.

Ask yourself if people like Jackson and Sharpton would have any media coverage if there were no animus and ill will for whites? Ask yourself if Jackson and Sharpton would have to get real jobs if racial discord became nothing more than sad history.

Part 2) October 2012: Obama speechified “I refuse to let Detroit go bankrupt!”  Now some Detroit leaders want a federal bailout. Oh yeah? Gee, it’s hard to believe that Obama failed to live up to a promise!

Mr. Obama told us that if he had a son, he would look like Trayvon.

If Mr. Obama had a city, it would look like Detroit.

If Mr. Obama had a country it would look like Cuba.

ice cream kids an


By the way: Saturday was national ice cream day. (Thanks to President Reagan) and this is national ice cream month.