2013 December

Thursday, December 26, 2013

CT-Banner7.3.13No Saturday Edition

Classified Ads     Events     Business Directory      Contact Us      Menu    

boxing day deer


Boxing Day is traditionally the day following Christmas Day, when servants and tradesmen would receive gifts, known as a “Christmas box”, from their bosses or employers. Today, Boxing Day is the bank holiday that generally takes place on 26 December. It is observed in the United Kingdom, Canada, Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Trinidad and Tobago and some other Commonwealth nations.

[Earthly Remains] While diving in shallow water off Newfound Harbor December 24, I spied a metallic box lying atop a concave coral head. I swam down and examined the box and after brushing aside a fine film of growth, I noticed it was a box of human remains. The gentleman’s name, date of death and the Key West funeral home were plainly visible. Wouldn’t it be better to pour out the remains and to keep the box? My first inclination was to do just that, but did not want to desecrate the deceased’s memory. 



These are the only grinches at our post office here on Big Pine Key. The ladies behind the counter are always friendly and go way above and beyond to serve their clientele. Too bad they don’t sell beer and burgers, sure would be my favorite hangout.  

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.     

santa computer lighted desk

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, December 28, 10 am at the senior center. Hope to see you there. Merry Christmas! Events


santa beach chair palm‘Twas the night before Christmas all through the Keys
No noses were frozen, no snow on the trees.

Children in briefs lay tucked in their beds
Visions of key limes danced through their heads.

Parents were busy all through the house
Decorating and wrapping, as quiet as a mouse.

To find wreaths of holly was not very hard
For holly trees grow in every back yard.

The sleeping kiddies were dreaming with glee
Hoping for fishing poles under the tree.

They all knew that Santa was well on his way
In a skiff with an outboard instead of a sleigh.

Alas there’s no Rudolph to act as a guide
But dolphins aplenty swim by his side.

And soon he arrived and started his work
(He hadn’t a second to linger or shirk).

He whizzed up the ocean and down through the bay
Raising a clamor as he sped on his way.

The tropical moon gave the beach such a glow
It lighted the way for old Santa below.

As he jumped from his skiff he gave a wee chuckle
In his bright red Bermudas with a big silver buckle.

There were no chimneys, but that caused no gloom
For Santa came in through the Florida room.

He stopped at each house, staying only a minute
Emptying his sack of the gifts that were in it.

Before he departed he treated himself
To the salty margarita he found on the shelf.

He turned with a start and ran down the road
No time to waste to deliver his load.

He started his motor with a jerk and a splash
And up the channel he went like a flash.

And I heard him exclaim as he went on his way
“Merry Christmas to all, how I wish I could stay,

But to the north I must go in the cold and the snow
To deliver good cheer and a warm ‘Ho! Ho! Ho!” 

nira tocco realtor 9.12
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.     


[The Christmas Table] Green bean casserole is totally a southern dish. No New England family would dare desecrate the holiday table with that concoctation (Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup, Aagh!) Link

[‘Give me a moment”] A moment is a medieval unit of time equal to 1.5 minutes. This reckoning is derived from the work of Bartholomeus Anglicus, writing in 1240 that each hour was divided into four points (of 15 minutes each), each point into ten moments (10 x 1.5), each moment into twelve ounces (huh?), and each ounce into 47 atoms. (say what?)

In modern English it usually refers to a short period of time, the exact length remaining ambiguous.

isaksen-flood-roof 4.23.13



Why men are not allowed to take messages.

[Crook] An administrator in the work release program at the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office has been federally indicted amid allega­tions she stole thousands of dollars in Social Security ben­efits, according court records. The U.S. Attorney’s Office claims between January 2009 and July 2011, Roginia Robinson embezzled at least $5,460 in public funds by cash­ing 10 Social Security widow benefits checks.
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.     



The Saint Nicholas Day Massacre

[Tina and Harvey] Gosh, what can one say about Tina and Harvey? Homeless a lot of the time, actually they were a good looking couple. Often Harvey would be about with either his banjo or guitar in tow and you might see Tina off on the side of the shopping plaza getting out of a strange car. They were madly in love with each other, but they used to brutalize one another occasionally, maybe it was a clinging or dependency, I don’t know. Harvey used to work at the No Name Pub making pizza. He suggested the Ham and Pineapple. They both were among the members of the Big Pine Key Raging Alcoholics Club. I guess Harvey’s main claim to fame, in my mind, besides being able to play a tune was getting a ride in the Medical Evacuation Helicopter up to Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami when he got clocked by a car on his bicycle while he was three sheets to the wind–such trauma, but a couple of weeks later he was back on the local scene sporting a bandage wrapped around his head. I guess Tina was a bit of a whore, they really were a handsome couple. Harvey was such a gregarious guy. They are both dead now, God love them. Did Harvey go first or was it Tina? Either case, I suspect the other one died likely of a broken heart. Odd how I think back and in retrospect I really did like them both, for what that is worth. Thinking of you Harvey and Tina!
[Citizen Of The Day Says] He loves the blue sky and blue water and calling his family up North every Sunday from Fort Zachary Taylor State Park beach with the weather report: 85 degrees with a beautiful breeze. 

wilma car floating00


I wasn’t here during Hurricane Wilma but of course heard a lot about it, namely the flooding and loss of electricity for as much as three weeks. My question is how did people manage to get through the cleanup without electricity? Not to mention no air continuing or fans to dry things out, no stove or microwave to cook food and no refrigerator to keep it fresh. No lights at night, no internet, computers, not even electricity to charge cell phones. How about gas? Were gas stations open? How on earth did people get through it, or did the majority leave for a hotel? 


FIRM wants to hear your flood story and maybe they can get the horrific increase reversed!  Link



Bilge Pump by Rule 1500 GPH. New. Price on box $92.99. Asking $50 OBO. Big Pine Key. Classified Ads > Boats

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.     



[Mystery Craft] I’m not even sure where to start with this…

Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.     

bongo obama



Obama sings Jingle Bells. Video

[Big Pine Key Parasite] I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to you and your x-girlfriend for being an instigator, enabler, intaginizer[?] this holiday weekend. You really showed what a true friend is. You are dirt! You are a horrible person. And whoever drives the little blue car is just as bad. Oh, wait, is that you?
The big news today is UPS and Amazon were overwhelmed, bit neither of their websites crashed. Hint hint!
BPK’s gravity demand weighs heavy on County, FKAA.  What’s that old saying? When the shit hits the fan? Dump the pump!  Attend the 3 new meetings scheduled. Link

merry christmans street

Christmas is forever, not for just one day,
for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away
like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf.
The good you do for others is good you do yourself.
Peace on Earth, good will to men,
kind thoughts and words of cheer,
are things we should use often
and not just once a year.
Remember too the Christ-child, grew up to be a man;
to hide him in a cradle, is not our dear Lord’s plan.
So keep the Christmas spirit, share it with others far and near,
from week to week and month to month, throughout the entire year!
Merry Christmas to all!  ~Coconuts 

2014 Guided Walks/ BPK National Key Deer Refuge schedule. For more info call … Events
Contact Us. Send us your comments and attach any stuff you want published to this email.    
The long-awaited day is finally here! Christmas season is over!



Key West Christ-mas, well, surely you didn’t expect a fat bearded man in a red suit and eight reindeer let by Rudolph, did you?

[ObamaCare Tips] The Obama administration announced that anyone whose health plan was cancelled due to the Affordable Care Act and believe other plans offered are unaffordable will receive a ‘hardship waiver.’ This waiver exempts them from the individual mandate and allows them to purchase a cheaper catastrophic plan that was previously available only to those under the age of 30.

This is ideal because it covers all but only $6350 max out of pocket ($12,700 max per family) for $245.07 month in Florida Keys from BlueCross/BlueShield, see HealthSherpa dot com for exact plans on your zip code (enter age below 30 to see). Not eligible for subsidies obviously.

Here are all 14 waiver reasons straight from the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid: (1)You were homeless. (2)You were evicted in the past 6 months or were facing eviction or foreclosure. (3)You received a shut-off notice from a utility company. (4)You recently experienced domestic violence. (5)You recently experienced the death of a close family member. (6)You experienced a fire, flood, or other natural human-caused disaster that caused substantial damage to your property. (7)You filed for bankruptcy in the last 6 months. (8)You had medical expenses you couldn’t pay in the last 24 months. (9)You experienced unexpected increases in necessary expenses due to caring for an ill, disabled, or aging family member. (10)You expect to claim a child as a tax dependent who’s been denied coverage in Medicaid and the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), and another person is required by court order to give medical support to the child. (11)As a result of an eligibility appeals decision, you’re eligible either for: (a) enrollment in a qualified health plan (QHP) through the Marketplace, (b) lower costs on your monthly premiums, or (c) cost-sharing reductions for a time period when you weren’t enrolled in a QHP through the Marketplace. (12) You were determined ineligible for Medicaid because your state didn’t expand eligibility for Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act (hello Florida) (13)You received a notice saying that your current health insurance plan is being cancelled, and you consider the other plans available unaffordable. (14)You experienced another hardship in obtaining health insurance. Link


from the right
Please send me your comments at