2015 January

Thursday, January 8, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

[France’s 9/11] I know this is just a knee-jerk reaction and is not possible, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could deport all Muslims in America, give them their own AK-47s and tell them to go kill the radicals and when they understand freedom of speech, then they can come back.
See invisible motion, hear silent sounds. Meet the “motion microscope,” a video-processing tool that plays up tiny changes in motion and color impossible to see with the naked eye.  Video
tnt fuse
Three deep blasts
occurred at 11:25 am on Wednesday. The direction was from the south of Little Torch Key, and no, I don’t think they were sonic booms ot Muslim terrorists—more like dynamite blasts!
[Dirty Water] They tell you that the water that travels one hundred plus miles in a pipe from Miami is safe. A pipe that’s exposed to the elements and open for anyone to taint the supply. If it’s clogging and corroding your plumbing fixtures, think about what it’s doing inside you. Put a filter on your drinking water source and tell us how it looks in 30 days. I have not drank from the tap here in a long time. FKAA is in the water business. Their job is to sell it.
Is there any way the citizens of Monroe County can take FKAA back?
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Freedom of Speech
–only sometimes.
[Life’s Demerit System] All married men will attest to some real wisdom in this In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy! Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system. Link
booby-prize8There is currently a contest statewide for the best designed sewer collection system. Nominations close in early February. I expect FKAA to enter as presentation often trumps quality. I think we should nominate FKAA for the booby prize for the worst designed. That should raise some eyebrows around the state. The bait and switch, the intentionally misleading information at public meetings, the 1500 petitioners, all of the improper design criteria, the tens of thousands spent by individuals to try to get it revised, the work without permits, the DEP covering for FKAA, the number-fudging to get shallow wells which resulted in an inadequate collection system and an undersized plant, the contract specifications written by E-1 that their pump does not even meet since the pump design was changed in 2006, the use of residential grinders in commercial duty and industrial duty in the lift stations, the public claim of being able to pump out 2800 grinders and the 70+ lift stations daily with two generator trucks, the switch to an uncased crossing of Niles Channel, the remote monitoring that hasn’t yet worked after two years in Duck Key on only 30 E-1s, and on and on.

Cudjoe Regional will not look good on anybody’s resume who was involved, and with the booby prize nomination to counter FKAA’s slick sales pitch should sink any hope of victory for FKAA in the contest. Also, other utilities will think twice before designing around E-1! “The emperor has no clothes.”

It is amazing what people say when they don’t have to put their name on it. (Ed: That is the whole point of the Coconut Telegraph. Thank you for noticing and for your anonymous input.)
chinese buckets
[Meet Your New Boss] Buying large employers will enable China to dominate 1000s of U.S. communities. Link
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(Ed: The CT stands for freedom of speech and if any of you stinking Muslim terrorist want to attack corporate headquarters you’ll have to find it first!)
The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, January 10, 10 am at the Senior Center.  We will be sharing the hall with the annual health fair pre-registration group. Unless handicapped, please try to park out on Key Deer Blvd. Events
cleaning service maid
[Cleaning Service Wanted] Winter Star Party is coming to Scout Key in February and we are looking for a licensed and insured company to do a once daily cleaning of the bath houses at Camp Wesumkee during our event. If interested, please send an email to Charlie Perillo  Classified Ads > Help Wanted
I watched the KW City commission meeting last night.  The amusing parts:

-Romero saying landlords want to keep rents low.  What’s the color of the sky on her planet?  It’s way too late for affordable housing in Key West.  The island has already been ruined by over building and rich snow birds.  You can’t put the turd back in the ass once it’s in the toilet.

-Martinez asking if the squad cars have bullet proof glass?  Don’t give Donnie Lee any more ideas on how to waste taxpayer money.

– Is Rossi too fat to get close enough to the microphone so he can be heard?

-Yaniz and Rossi suggesting where to drop off passengers from the outer mole.  No one on the commission wants it to change.

-All the B.S. about drones.  Martinez not wanting drones flying over her house because she sunbathes?  Who wants to see that? A 10 year old with $39.95 can buy a remote control helicopter from Radio Shack.  Are the cops supposed to bust him for flying it?  After all it is a drone. Commissioners saying they want to protect the citizens from drones.  Protect from what?  Lawsuits? They haven’t cared about protecting the citizens’ tax dollars from other lawsuits.

-Yaniz leaving when Sloan’s turn came to speak. Maybe he didn’t want to make an ass of himself again.

-Last but not least,  where were all the citizens (all 40 – 50) who are concerned about the cover up of killing Eimers?  Once again Sloan was the only speaker

“I did not have sex with that woman.” Today in 1999,the impeachment trial of Slick Willie began.
[“Moose helps those in need”] The Moose is a fraternal order of drinkers of cheap booze. That’s the only reason any of the members join. There’s nothing at all wrong with that. However, continuing to pretend they join to help the community is wrong. How often do you think members talk about the good they do? The only talk of doing good is at scheduled meetings where the management decides and the rest continue to drink. They are all in denial that the Moose is a drinking club. Everyone else seems to know that, except the members.
Springer’s Bar and Grill

-Friday 9th Tim Andrews’ Live Music on the Patio
-Saturday 10th Comedian Bill Hach Dinner Entertainment
-January 22nd The Doerfels. Kim came out of retirement to play the fiddle. Live On the Patio – Mark your calendar!
-Coming Soon. Monday Night Bluegrass. Open Jam with Alan Graf. We’ll Let you know when it’s on
-Interested in starting a Dart League on Tuesday Evenings? Please email us at with “Dart League” in the subject line
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[France Attack] It’s odd that no one can agree whether Charlie Hebdo is a magazine or a newspaper.
Checking in from Ocala Forest, Salt Springs. “Hello”
hareens 12.2.14
There is a District II Lodging vacancy.  This group decides on how to market our area internationally and also approves advertising grants for local events.  It is important that someone steps up and applies for this. It takes only a couple of hours once a month on a Tuesday evening. Meetings are here at our Chamber’s Visitors Center lobby on Big Pine Key.  The deadline to submit the application is tomorrow, Friday, January 9.  Should you have any questions you may contact the TDC Administrative Office at 296-1552. If you are interested, please contact Susan at, and she can forward the application to you
[“Corrosive drinking water”] The problem is most surely caused by our extremely hard water.  While not unhealthy, our water is loaded with calcium (as much as 10+ grains per gallon) that can be very corrosive to metallic plumbing components.  The corrosive effect will eventually eat away at those components, clog shower heads with calcium deposits, corrode faucets etc.  One solution is to install a water softener on your incoming water line.  Another is the installation of a Reverse Osmosis (RO) system.  Neither is cheap but you will eventually save on the replacement costs of plumbing components, see better cleaning from the washing machine and dishwasher (no more water spots on glassware) and use less soap and shampoo to get a lather.  You can buy a good system at Home Depot and if your a bit handy they can be fairly easily installed or arrange for an installer to do it for you (get bids before hand, of course).
Another terrorist attack in Paris France killed 12 so far. Hope this does not happen in the Keys. There is no place to bury all the freaking Muslims.
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Toyota-Matrix[“Hit and run”] I heard on U.S.1 radio today that FHP Homicide Investigators believe the vehicle involved in the hit & run which resulted in the death of the pedestrian last Saturday evening at about 10:15 p.m. on 1st street between Ave A & B in BPK, is a  dark colored subcompact vehicle. They believe the vehicle is a Toyota Matrix or a similar type vehicle. Please keep an eye out for this vehicle, and it should have damage on the front right side of it, and possibly a cracked windshield on the right-hand side. If you spot this vehicle or suspect a vehicle similar, please take down the tag# and contact our local police. If the vehicle or owner of vehicle is not the suspect, then they have nothing to worry about. Let’s just help this family find some closure. Attached is what the vehicle may look like. Thank you
giustino_jacobisJustin de Jacobis was born at San Fele, Italy on October 9th. He was taken to Naples when a child by his parents, joined the Vincentians when 18, and was ordained. After helping found a Vincentian house at Monopoly, he served as superior at Lecce and in 1839 was sent as the first prefect and vicar apostolic to the new Catholic mission at Adua, Ethiopia. His efforts to evangelize met with great opposition, but in 1841 he was included in a delegation of Ethiopian prelates to Cairo to request the Coptic patriarch of Alexandria to appoint one of his monks Abuna (patriarch) of the Ethiopian church. In Cairo, the patriarch denounced the presence of Father de Jacobis on the delegation and intrigued to a point one Salama as Abuna. Some of the delegation then accompanied Father de Jacobis to meet the Pope in Rome. On his return, Father de Jacobis founded a college and seminary at Guala, and in 1846 a vicariate apostolic of the Galla was established, with William Massaia as its first bishop.

These developments caused Salama to launch an anti-Catholic campaign. The college was closed, Catholicism was proscribed, and bishop Massaia was forced to return to Aidan. In 1848, he secretly consecrated Father de Jacobis, now a fugitive, bishop at Massawa, with authority to administer the sacraments in the Ethiopian rite. By 1853, the new bishop had ordained some twenty Ethiopians, was ministering to 5000 Catholics, and was able to reopen the college. In 1860, Kedaref Kassa became king as Theodore II and in return for the backing he had received from Abuna Salama, launched a persecution of the Catholics. Bishop de Jacobis was arrested and after several month’s imprisonment was released and managed to find his way to Halai in southern Eritrea. He spent the rest of his life in missionary work along the Red Sea coast and died in the valley of Alghedien on July 31 of fever he contracted while on a missionary trip. He was canonized by Pope Paul VI in 1975. His feast day is July 31.

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[Gravity Glue] If you have 7 minutes,  see yet another creative, patient person at play! Video
No Wednesday, Jan 7 Coconut Telegraph?  I’m in withdrawal.  (Ed: Damn, I forgot to click the “Publish” button yesterday morning after completing the CT. Wednesday’s is there now [8:30am]. I hope it’s better late than never.)

No coconut telegraph today.   I guess Deer Ed’s computer died again.   For $300 or less you can buy a laptop running windows 8.1.  Do you need donations?

Hope you’re having a minor computer glitch instead of the flu. Whichever is down, hope everything is better soon!


It’s 1:30, where’s my damn CT?

It’s 13:30 where is today’s edition?

Sloan ‘Alone’ Bashinsky seems to fit him very well.   Is their no one on the island besides him to have your back on this fight against the city commission?  If I was there, and I will be,  I would spend my time at every meeting ripping the commission a new butt hole.   Where are the others who marched?  Do they not care?  Are they a bunch of waanabe protesters?  Where were they?  I think the protesters who walked were pussies.  So where was Louie?[?]  Why did he not come to the commission meeting?  Oh, I know, he had his minutes of fame with the march.  He will never stick his neck out again.  Did the KWPD threaten him?
Please remove ad for washer posted in Dec. I sold it immediately. Thanks for the great service you do for the community. rocks!
“100 lashes if you aren’t dying of laughter.”
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[“The Round House”] The Cudjoe round house is gaining higher heights. One of the two domes is ballooning up.
[Captain Doom and Gloom]
DEF: Celebrity n, A dysfunctional eater with a hunger for egotistical madness with gravy.
DEF: Doctors n, People who practice arts that will destroy Earth with overpopulation of the inept!
DEF: Gloves n, A covering of the hand that protects from hot, cold, and abrasion, unless it is fur covered!
DEF: Sneakers n, That which if left in a dark closet for a long period, will walk on their own.
DEF: Shorts n, My personal garment which I would love to send to Obama to chew on!
DEF: Computer n, That monster in front of you that never works right when you are showing somebody something.
DEF: Keyboard n, A sticky thing that makes your son look guilty with a red face
What side of freedom does the White House stand on

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As a retired cop it’s hard for FTR to relate to the oppressed because he’s always been on the side of the oppressor be it police or Republicans.
from the right
It is impossible to know  whether or not the “dissing” of police by so many liberals, especially our very liberal President and the even more liberal Mayor of NYC is a proximate cause, or even a contributor to the rash of assaults on police officers in recent weeks. But it sure smells like it.

Unfortunately, cop smashing has become very fashionable. Obama’s unscripted, off the cuff, comments about police are nearly universally critical of cops. Those comments probably accurately reflect his heart. In his carefully crafted press releases and in his teleprompter speeches he claims respect for the cops and job they do. I believe that far left liberals like Obama and Di Blasio have at their core disdain, disrespect, and dislike of cops. Di Blasio actually used his disdain for the police as a campaign weapon.

police8After Ferguson we’ve endured five months of anti-police propaganda. It was fueled by the president. Di Blasio gleefully bought into Obama’s propaganda in his campaign and in his private life. The probable result? Anti-cop violence, demonstrations, and an increase in criminality.

It is and always has been “cool” in some segments of our society to diss or even hate cops. Yet those who profess to hate cops are not shy about calling the cops when they are victims of crime.

Having said all of that I believe that we must find a better methodology of investigating incidents wherein a police officer takes the life of a civilian. We need it because the default posture of so many citizens, politicos, and the media today is to immediately suspect or insinuate wrong doing on the part of law enforcement. That must change.

In the Judicial Circuit that I served, it was routine practice for most of the police agencies who were involved in a police caused death to immediately notify the State Attorney’s Office (there was a rep on call 24/7); then at least one rep from the office would immediately respond to the scene and be an observer of the investigation. Further, in most cases wherein a police officer wounded a suspect, the SAO was notified. If the wounding presented the likelihood of death, the SAO  rep responded to the involved PD to observe the investigation. That helped foster public trust and transparancy.

In many cases the States Attorney Office would actually conduct the investigation. I can recall one very incendiary case wherein rioting had ensued after a police caused death. Rioting and looting was in progress when the SAO was notified. People were being dragged from cars and being beaten. At the request of the involved police agency, the SAO was requested to lead the investigation.

When the lead SAO investigator arrived at the local PD, chaos ruled. The PD was mobbed with protestors. The lead SAO investigator addressed the mob from the PD’s front steps and invited community leaders to “sit in” and observe the investigation while it was in progress. The mob was permitted to name community leaders as observers. It was permitted with the condition that the selected community leaders could not say a word, only listen, while sitting behind the interviewee or observing from behind a two way mirror in an interview room. The leaders were encouraged to bring witnesses forward. Only one leader was permitted to observe each interview.

It worked, the rioting stopped. At the conclusion of the investigation, it was presented to a Grand Jury.

In that case the involved officer was indicted for Murder 2, went to trial, and after two trials was found to be not guilty.

Nonetheless, in each and every case, in our jurisdiction, investigations of a police caused death were presented to a Grand Jury. I don’t have the exact stats, but we did indict and prosecute several officers for homicide. In each case, an in depth Grand Jury report was issued and made public.

But, I believe that’s not enough in today’s world. I believe that each and every death by police officer should be investigated by a special team of homicide investigators from the FDLE and law enforcement agencies who have substantial experience in homicide investigation. The team would be an “on call” operation.  It would operate out of the Attorney General’s office. The team would consist of designated homicide investigators from each major jurisdiction in Florida. In the event of a police caused death, the involved agency would notify the AG’s office.

The team would be activated, a state plane would pick up the investigators and deliver them to the involved jurisdiction. In today’s Florida, such an “on call” team could be assembled and be “on the ground” anywhere in the state in very short order.  The team would operate very much like the NTSB’s “Go Teams.”

Under no circumstance would any of the investigators be acquainted with the involved officer(s) or witnesses. Every investigator would be from “out of town.” The investigators would report directly to Florida’s Attorney General. Each and every case would be presented to a State Wide Grand Jury, as opposed to a local Grand Jury. At the conclusion of each case, if the officer was not indicted or charged, the totality of the investigation would be made public record for the review of the media or concerned citizens.

In the event of the death of a civilian at the hands of a police officer, the involved agency would have only the responsibility of “freezing” the scene, collecting available evidence, and identifying and ascertaining the pedigree of witnesses. All but the most cursory interviews would be conducted by the special team of investigators.

As it stands today, there are no accurate stats to be had as to the number of police caused deaths. Nor is there any accurate method to determine whether or not such deaths are justifiable. The FBI stats are woefully inaccurate. The FBI gathers the stats from police agencies that voluntarily submit them. It is the police agency that tells the FBI: a) if there have been a police involved death, and b) whether or not the case is justifiable.

Police caused deaths are not uncommon, in 2013 the FBI reported that there were 461 felony suspects that died as a result of justified police action.  But, as noted the stats are not to be trusted. The FBI should not rely on the individual law enforcement agencies to report the episodes and to classify them. Each FBI field office should have the responsibility of monitoring such cases in their jurisdiction, record them and make an annual report for the FBI’s annual Uniform Crime Report, classifying each case by its judicial disposition.

Frankly, the idea would be extremely difficult to put into place. Some law enforcement agencies can be extremely parochial and reluctant to cooperate with agencies that have oversight responsibilities.

But, the idea is worth consideration.  What do you think?

A POSTER WROTE: “I would like for FTR to provide one source for climate change denial that is not paid or supported by a special or political interest.  Just one!”

ice cube beach girlFTR’S RESPONSE:  Aw come on, you’ve got to be kidding! First, I join with most people who completely agree that our climate is changing. It always has and always will. Climate change has nurtured and destroyed civilizations as long as there have been civilizations.

As for funding; governments, especially our government spends billions to support “studies” and “research” with the aim of pushing the idea of anthropogenic climate change.

According to the GAO, annual federal climate spending has increased from $4.6 billion in 2003 to $8.8 billion in 2010, amounting to $106.7 billion over that period. The money was spent in four general categories: technology to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, science to understand climate changes, international assistance for developing countries, and wildlife adaptation to respond to actual or expected changes. Technology spending, the largest category, grew from $2.56 billion to $5.5 billion over this period, increasingly advancing over others in total share.  Data compiled by Joanne Nova  at the Science and Policy Institute indicates that the U.S. Government spent more than $32.5 billion on climate studies between 1989 and 2009. This doesn’t count about $79 billion more spent for climate change technology research, foreign aid and tax breaks for “green energy.” Link

In addition to public funding, five environment-specific groups alone raise more than $1.6 billion per year (Greenpeace, The Nature Conservancy, World Wildlife Fund, National Wildlife Federation, and the Sierra Club). All five focus solely on environmental issues and are frequent and prominent advocates for global warming restrictions.

Need, need I mention that Al Gore has made tens if not hundreds of millions on global warming hysteria. Link

I urge the poster to provide us with the name of a single researcher who is convinced that anthropogenic climate change is not a valid theory who is “paid or supported by a special or political interest. Just one!”