2018 April

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​

Click here to send in a post or something else. Contact Us
[The Blue Paper Calls it Quits] Dear Readers,

Unfortunately The Blue Paper has not been able to reach its financial goal and I have decided to step down as the Editor in Chief.

A heartfelt thank you to the 99 people who have pledged monthly support to keep this important mission going. Thank you to those who have contributed through one time donations, large and small, over the years. Without you we would not have been able to continue our efforts for this long.

I also want to thank those of you who have contributed to TBP’s mission with articles, letters, poetry, photography, and your own important investigative journalism work.  We have greatly appreciated your contributions and are proud to have shared this platform with you.

There is, of course, still much to be investigated and reported on: affordable housing, hurricane Irma recovery, school safety and discrimination, hospitals and health care, overdevelopment, immigration enforcement, animal welfare, accountability and transparency in government…

Arnaud Girard is still exploring the possibility of keeping TBP alive.  Arnaud welcomes any support and creative ideas that would help him to keep the mission going. You may contact him directly at 305-731-7299.

Patreon billing will be halted; no further auto payments will be incurred.  I will contact Paypal patrons individually to ensure their billing is individually stopped. Anyone who feels they would like to receive a partial refund for their most recent, April, monthly donation, since we are halting publication mid-month, please contact me directly at

My best to you all!  ~ Naja Girard

[“Developers From NYC getting rich on ruining The Keys”] You are aware that your County Commissioners who supposedly are locals, are the people who are actually selling the Keys out for profit. Isn’t it the County Commissioners who change the rules that allow those height and density changes? Why do so many look to blame things on people who are out of their grasp and not the ones right in front of them who are doing all the damage – after they get their pockets stuffed by those dam New Yorkers. Maybe the only developer from NY you would approve of is the idiot currently residing in DC. Time to think more clearly.


Wow, I just got my latest ATT bill and got a mini heart attack. Since I use but 12 of the TV channels out of the 1200, never use my landline, have the lowest internet speed, and only use my cell phone for emergencies, that $285 per month has to go! Time for me to get a life.

[Roosters] “were release from the breaking up of the cock fights”. That’s not true. The roosters here are a different breed than those used for cock fighting. Also another error in that post was that Code Enforcement would come pick them up. Code Enforcement does nothing but fine people.
[American exceptionalism is real] We are special, never forget that. Never let anyone tell you any different. It is through our Great America that hope is shared with the entire world.

American exceptionalism is an ideology holding the United States as unique among nations in positive or negative connotations, with respect to its ideas of democracy and personal freedom. Though the concept has no formal definition, there are some themes common to various conceptions of the idea. One is the history of the United States is different from other nations. In this view, American exceptionalism stems from the American Revolution, becoming what political scientist Seymour Martin Lipset called “the first new nation” and developing the American ideology of “Americanism”, based on liberty, egalitarianism, individualism, republicanism, democracy, and laissez-faire economics. This ideology itself is often referred to as “American exceptionalism.” Another theme is the idea the U.S. has a unique mission to transform the world. Abraham Lincoln stated in the Gettysburg address, Americans have a duty to ensure “government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” Another theme is the sense the United States’ history and mission give it a superiority over other nations.

Although much has been written about the decline of American competitiveness. I call BS. In many ways this new global market plays to our strengths of which we have many. The constant in the global marketplace is change, and change is what we Americans deal with best. We have always been innovators. Who else would choose as a national motto on our great seal “novus ordo seclorum” – the new order of the ages. This native adaptability is in itself a type of “infrastructural” advantage, an infrastructure of culture that will serve us well as long as we refuse to panic in the face of statisticians and pundits wielding yesterday’s numbers and telling us we’re washed up if we remain ourselves. Once again I call BS… American Exceptionalism ! President Trump understands this, believes this, lives this. President Trump is turning loose the beast in America, the primal animal instinct, America Exceptionalism , I want it for breakfast, lunch & dinner I want to serve it to my kids & grand kids.It’s not free , it’s earned, don’t ever let it die. God Bless, guide & watch over President Trump.

I wanted to share this one thought with you, then I’m going fishing (sorry, I meant to say work). Joe/ Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, down town Pine Key.




Life hacks that will change your life forever. (Skip the starting ad–I thought it was the life hacks!) Video

The affordable housing scam is everywhere. I was watching the latest episode of Bosch on Amazon Prime. The lead detective was at a fundraiser for affordable housing in New York. He said they just want to fool the public and get variances to build their high priced condos.  Sound familiar? Are the people in KW really that stupid to fall for this? Sadly, I think I know the answer. Forty story Clearwater Beach buildings — here we come!


Madagascar rubber vine has purple flowers and a caustic milky sap. Deer won’t touch it and can be trained into a low shrub with proper pruning. Without pruning it will cover the world.

[Cost Cutting] Yes, I agree with why the Keys suck as far as food goes. The greedy whores that want to make $1000 per hour net income after taxes could care less about your tummy or the quality of their over priced chow. This is why I order online and get even my food shipped in.
Do you remember the Hot Dog Lady out in front of Coconuts? Those were the days. US1 radio had to do an emergency announcement regarding her. I think it went something like this: Slow down when approaching Coconuts. There’s a girl selling hot dogs out front. She’s caused three accidents today.

She was 18 years old. She wore a G-string the way they are supposed to be worn. Rumor had it she smoked crack. Nobody cared. She was busy all the time. Everyone threw the hot dogs away. If you went around the corner there was a stack of them.

I had my buddy Bart tape her on my VHS recorder. After driving by her three times and him forgetting to turn the camera on I gave up.

This is verification that I was a bad dad: I dressed my 2-year old in her bathing suit and had her do the Hot Dog Lady skit. It was hilarious.

I assume the Hot Dog Lady ended up meeting a rich guy who took her off the street. Our loss. She just disappeared as a lot of characters down here do.

The development on Knights Key is not residential housing. It is another Pritam Singe tourist trap.






Guinness bar trick. Video

I am suing my new wife for false representation, after she took off all her make-up and accessories during our honeymoon! Anyone know a good lawyer?
I don’t know about you, but I can relate to this Allan Jackson song. I smiled at the line, “The older I get the more I pray. Guess I’ve just got more to say.” Video



Kidney bean time lapse with soil cross section. Showing how roots and upper part of plant grows set to the Blue Danube Waltz. Video

[Fire Boat Chasing Truck] See what can happen when you don’t check your rear view mirror. Video
Preview the new Alexa backseat driver app. Video


[Tech Support] If my life support fails, unplug me then plug me back in and see if that works.

[Trump Visits Key West] President Donald Trump will be in Key West on Thursday morning visiting the Joint Interagency Task Force South anti-smuggling center. Link
For at least two thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity, idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political idols.  ~Aldous Huxley
[Drunk Driver] A Key Largo man who killed a Miami man and left his wife with permanent brain damage in a July 2016 drunk driving, multi-vehicle hit-and-run crash was sentenced to one year time served and five years probation this week in a plea deal that the victims’ son says adds to the grief the family had been suffering for almost two years. Link

[Winn Dixie] Soon, you’ll be able to use points for savings on groceries and on fuel at Shell stations again. Link

The great thing about Alzheimers is I wake up with a new chick every morning!
[Key Weird] Why are there so many ugly, weird people in Key West?
[“Man arrested for fleeing Cops”] When someone in a uniform is chasing you with a gun, no matter why, RUN! Who’s to say that officer is not nuts? You have to be half nuts to take a cop job in the first place! I know, I was a cop in LA.




[Sexual Misconduct] Is it possible to jail an accuser who is trying to sue me for pinching a fat arse and making a Federal case out of it just to get money? Isn’t that embezzlement?
Those new housing tenements on Knights Key have to be the ugliest I’ve seen in the Keys. All the Monroe County Commissioners must have got a bag of pay-off money to allow that to happen. Hopefully we can plant large trees along the road to hide that disaster in the making.




Actor R. Lee Ermey, the Golden Globe- nominated star of Full Metal Jacket, dies at 74 from complications of pneumonia.

[Lawyers and Developers] Scientific evidence has just come out that blood testing lawyers can prove they are vampires! Next to be tested are judges and developers!
[Softball] A local baseball coach is suing a local woman’s softball coach for unauthorized fondling of his hardballs. Seems the softballs are not so much fun to fondle as hardballs.
Submit anything but National Politics to For National Politics go directly to that page, log in, and post your comment. NATIONAL POLITICS

national politics an(Click here)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *