2019 April

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

The bastards, they are killing my cats–again! Right now, they are puking and shitting trying to rid themselves of the crap I fed them thinking it was good cat food. From the biggest food conglomerate in the world. Nestle/Purina/Mars. I used this food for years. It’s all over the internet, cat owners are seeing their cats sickened. For what? Cheapen the food, more profit. Drive the stock price higher, Who would know anyway? F**kers.
And that juice I used to buy. Maybe 50% juice if I was lucky. Now 15%, maybe only 5%. Add some food coloring to make it look good. More sugar too. A**holes. Drive profits. F**k the customer.
The decent brownie mix was 21 oz. Then 19 oz. Now 18.4 oz. Scumbags.
And build some new planes. Better than the old. Ha! No need to do more pilot training. If you want the safety light it’s $80K. Increase profits. Drive the stock price higher. Probably only the engineers feel like s**t that people died. The corporate suite just cares about their stock options. Capitalism is going down the tubes. I’m no socialist, maybe we need to bring back the guillotine. Bastards.

(part 2)
Okay, I’ve calmed down some. Had to get that off my chest so I could sleep. A day later cats are better. Getting a little baby food and boiled chicken for their tummies. No more vomiting. Cat box clean. No more Fancy Feast for them, or for that matter any “pet” food. Even though the pet market is exploding the “business” is not making enough money, stock price is down, and so quality must suffer. Quality control? No inspectors anymore. Just ship it!

I’m still pissed though. Somehow, we have come to believe that capitalism at full flight, slashing tax rates for the highest earners, removing regulations and oversight, cutting funding for social programs, genuflecting at the sanctity of the Market, and borrowing our way to prosperity will make America better or save us. Unlikely. The Soviet Union failed not because they went broke or lost a war. They just got too corrupt, too much racketeering, graft, lying, cheating, fake news, lack of ethics or civic virtue, alcoholism. Decay and rot from within. This individual freedom thing we were born into is pretty good. But we better fix our problems or we will lose it, and our children will suffer for it.
Oh yeah, I self-identify as a Republican. Just so you don’t get the wrong idea …

(part 3)
After reflecting please rescind my 2 previous posts I sent yesterday. I really don’t want to rant on your public forum. Although I regret sending them, I did feel better getting them of my chest at the time. Thank you for your consideration. (Ed: I hate to be a bugger, but you most excellent diatribe is too good not to post. Ice cream half gallons went down to 1.5 quarts and lately to 1.4 quarts. Scoundrels!)

[R.I.P.] Marianne Eriksson Prestage 04/05/1965 – 03/16/2019
An Angel was taken back to Heaven as her mission time here on Earth was suddenly finished Saturday, March 16th at approximately 6:50pm, having bravely fought breast cancer for 2 1/2 years. Marianne is survived by her husband of 29 years, Larry Prestage a local singer songwriter in Key West.
They met in Oahu, Hawaii in 1990. Her mother Margret Eriksson and 3 sibling sisters were back in Malmo, Sweden. Larry says, “She was a natural born nester, decorator, dog mother to Beauregard and Beau Boy. Also a direct descendant of Lief Eriksson, Sharing that same daring sense of travel, exploration and always wanting to come to America. She made it over here same as he did leaving her hometown of Malmo Sweden soon after graduating form college. She possessed a natural childlike wonder of color, nature, animals, all God’s creatures great and small. Her and Larry were entrepreneurial. They were publishers of Rainbow Dollars and Rainbow Downtown in Honolulu, and started 3 franchises: Marianne’s Island Kitchen, CNMI, and Morning Star Gourmet Coffee in Naples Fl. American Pie and Ice Cream, in Englewood, Fl. She moved back to the Keys in October of 2012. Marianne worked with Tony Falcone at Fast Buck Freddy’s until their closing and was then snapped up by the Key West Butterfly Nature Conservatory. Marianne was loved by all who met and knew her: George, Sam and all the Butterfly People. She truly loved her work there, never thinking of it as a job. She worked herself up to one of the managerial positions. George soon rewarded her by giving her her own shop to run at Clinton Square Mall in the Key West Butterfly Nature Boutique. There she became keenly aware of being a true goodwill ambassador of the Keys and Key West, giving directions, telling stories, educating customers and visitors on every Butterfly on display. Warmly shining her positive, sparkling beauty and personality, becoming beloved by all who met or knew her. She will be sorely missed by husband Larry, George, Sam, Clarisa, all the Butterfly Team and Church family. Celebration of her life will be held on her birthday April 5th at 6;30pm at the Big Coppitt First Baptist Church, 200 Ave F. Send donations for assistance with her funeral expenses, medical bills, etc to “For Marianne” Key West at Link



I imagine my funeral will be like every other party I’ve attended, I’ll have no memory of it when it’s over.

[Fausto’s Food Palace, White St., Key West] Officially, “Fausto’s Gulfstream.” Despite the name, this isn’t some guy’s high end trailer home selling groceries. It’s a market that declares itself “the oldest running Key West business.”

Health Dept: “At the deli area, observed buildup of dry food particles on food contact section of the deli slicer.” In the same part of the Palace, the inspector saw “knifes placed between an electrical pipe and the wall” and “at the back room area, observed ice scoops placed unprotected on top of the ice machine.

Oh, no, ice scoops on top of the ice machine! I’ll neve shop there again. We’re all going to die!




[“Missing mom”] Sorry to inform the son that Julie LaPlante was found deceased on or near Big Pine Key. Please contact the Monroe County Sheriff’s office for details. Marathon (305) 289-2430, Cudjoe (305) 745-3184.

[“Broken deer fence”] To the person complaining about the deer fence, destroyed homes sitting, and look of the island. I was told the fence is DOT. I told KDAP it’s a hazard to bikers so, maybe they can get the state to fix it from that angle. Call code compliance with addresses for them. Call our Commissioner Michelle Caldiron. I agree the island is looking trashy. So many tourists throw trash out at the traffic light. The sidewalk still isn’t fixed in that area by affordable housing from the poles that fell. The sidewalk in the block is covered with dirt where the construction workers parked along US 1 & the grass died. The sidewalk is half covered in creeping grass out Key Deer Blvd between Church Road and the tennis courts. The nearshore water is still a mess & they seem to be waiting on the Conch Republic Marine Army to clean it with no government funding. I know we can do better on Big Pine, but the island is neglected



[Bacon] Check the cooking instructions:  “…contact your elected officials and complain about our education system.”

[Phony Photographer] I was in Merida Mexico some years ago as a tourist and the President of Mexico walked right in front of me and stopped and looked at me because I was carrying an expensive camera with a long telephoto lens and I must have looked like a reporter. So I pretended to take a bunch of pictures even though I knew the camera wasn’t set correctly. But I wanted to look good.


The great thing about internet porn is that you don’t have to rewind it when you’re done.

[“One school system”] I agree. No money for alternative schools or vouchers. Our society should only have one free school system all others must pay for themselves. If you would like a different school other than government provides you can start one yourself and pay for it too




This key deer likes the cool grass at Walgreens.





[Artist] Brenda McKissick  Bambi meets Tigger?

Lady wins lottery and said she’s still going to work because she loves her job and the people there. Ha ha.  




The mosquito helicopter loading up at the end of Key Deer Blvd.

[Crappy Kids] When I was a kid growing up in the city all my friends were larcenous and so was I. On rare occasions when I would let one of them is our house, something would go missing. No guidance, none of us.



This campsite on Big Pine is similar to the one that started the fire last year and the one a couple of months ago.




[Frog Be Gone] Aren’t we supposed to be likened by frogs breathing?; and the dolphin for the brain size? ‘Catastrophic’ fungus disease is killing frogs everywhere, linked to ‘mass extinction’. Study authors say the outbreak is contributing to “the Earth’s sixth mass extinction.” Video

[Movies] Crawling through duct work looks easy in movies but does not work in real life—they crash to the floor.




[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

[State Trooper: Driving Fools] And now a message from the Colorado state troopers for everyone who drives on the roads in America. Video



[Foot Race] 7-mile bridge is closed this Saturday, April 6th from 6:45-9 am. You’ve been warned, don’t get stuck!

“Soon” in hospitalspeak means “sometime this century”. Those who have spent an extended stay will understand.