2014 April

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

Emergency Preparedness Information for Grinder Pump Customers

A small percentage of customers are connected to the sanitary sewer system by means of a grinder pump that is not owned by MAWSS. If there is a power failure which affects your home, your grinder pump will also experience a loss of power and will not be able to operate. The tank which houses the pump will generally hold 24 hours of normal

sanitary waste flow, but interior water use should be limited until power has been restored. During extended power outages, such as hurricanes, you must make other provisions for sanitary service. The options include:

• Provide emergency power through a generator. This requires disconnecting the pump from your home electrical service so it can be powered separately by a generator. The most common method is to have a licensed electrician install a transfer switch at the house service box.

• Arrange for a septic tank service company to come and empty the tank as needed. For economy, neighborhood residents could negotiate a price for multiple customers since the normal service truck could empty 15-20 tanks in one trip.

• Relocate until power is restored.

If one of the above options is not implemented, you risk an unhealthy situation. Please have a plan before an emergency occurs.

(This is our future we are looking at. Expect your letter of public courtesy when our sewers are complete.)

[“Landscape my yard”] If you plant St. Augustine grass (the best sod for hot South Florida) you’re looking at a lot of work, cost, watering and maintenance. If you have nothing else to do and enjoy mowing grass two or three times a month or more, then fine. You can also choose to landscape your property using drought resistant plants and rocks in a like-desert landscape design that virtually eliminates maintenance and still looks natural and only needs the dead leaves blow out. I suggest looking at other similar desert designs elsewhere and even hiring a local landscape artist to draw up the design, you can do the labor to save costs.
metropcs29To the person asking about Metro PCS. All I can say is from experience AT&T has the best coverage in the Big Pine Key area. Especially the north part of the island in areas like Eden Pines and Port Pine Heights. AT&T is a national cell phone carrier where Metro is considered a regional phone company. The difference being is if you go out of town with your phone AT&T will work everywhere you go. Regional carriers are limited to certain cities or states. AT&T has no contract phones with by-the-minute plans starting at $15 or total unlimited calling for $50. Phones start as cheap as $29 and the best thing is you don’t have to go to Marathon or Key West to buy them. The Radio Shack next to Winn Dixie sells the phones, activates them for you and sells the refill cards.
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If the LA Clippers are really upset over working for a racist owner then they should refuse to play for him. Working for him enforces his ‘Plantation master’ form of racism. Not refusing to play reaffirms the racist owner’s opinion of them–you can use them, but don’t take them home.
It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered my Universal Remote Control did not, in fact, control the Universe — not even remotely.
Recently posted to the Dump the Pumps website is a warning from Germantown Hills, Illinois to their grinder pump customers about the possibility of huge sewage backflows into your home from your grinder pump and explaining how it happens that all your neighbors came to be crapping on your floor. Well explained but not comforting for those slated for grinders. This is a fairly common occurrence based on our research. Link
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The Doobie Brothers are playing in Key West. A little known fact is that the name was conjured up by a tragic acid casualty, Skip Spence, from Moby Grape. But the gem of the Doobies is John McPhee who is, in fact, one of the most talented musicians in rock and roll. He played for lots of other people, but most notably (for me anyway) is his pedal steel performance from Grateful Dead’s Mars Hotel on the track Pride of Cucamonga.
I sure can’t wait for you to fix the links, it’s one of the main reasons I look at your site. (Ed: I went back and fixed Monday’s links if you’d like to try again. When I create a link some of them have 20% added to the beginning of the address. Another mystery to be solved. Oooh, I think I’ve found it! Thanks for letting me know the problem.)
[LA Clippers issue] If the owner was Black and said something about White people there would be hardly a word of it on the news. We live in a world that has different rules for different people. So sad.
crystal ball wizard blinks
Deer Ed, It just occurred to me this morning when I was lying in the ER after being rear ended at the Sugarloaf School red light, how did you know my name? (Ed: I have LSD, oops, I mean ESP!)
[Sewer Forsight] Deer Ed,  who publishes‘s popular Coconut Telegraph bitch and praise blog, told me that back when the new water pipe was brought down from Florida City many years ago for the Navy and Key West mostly, experts and engineers said the pipe needed to be 18 inches in diameter, but the county government and Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority (FKAA) went with 12 inch diameter pipe, and not long afterward it all had to be removed and replaced with 18 inch pipe. Ed said it would have been hell to pay if the Navy had not picked up half or maybe it was all of the cost of tearing out the 12 inch pipe and replacing it with 18 inch pipe.  So are we really going to believe that our local government and the FKAA never make monumental mistakes?
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You think 13 lbs of poop is bad, how about a 1000 lb dolphin like at the Dolphin Research Center?  Those critters poop more than that and the water flow is terrible back there.  I have seen how thick and polluted the water is when I used to bring my stupid, idiot guests there. Such stupid guests wanting to see a dolphin. Dolphins swimming in poop water is just horrible.
[MetroPCS] I have used Metro since 2007. They have good nationwide coverage, and here in the Keys I never have dropped calls, and even have a signal way off shore when my friends with other providers don’t. The 4g is great (I stream TV and movies often), and the price is reasonable ($50/flat per month, unlimited calling, unlimited 4g data…)

The downside is the last time I called their customer service, it was awful. But that was about 5 years ago.

[Sewers] A few times so far when I’ve mentioned grinder pumps to people, they’ve said something like, “Yea, I heard something about them, but I’m getting a gravity system.” In other words, “I got mine, how you doin’?” This apathy is why the Commissioners are ignoring the rest of you.
The Partagas Cigar Factory in Havana.  This is home to the famous Cohiba, Monte Cristo and other top Cuban cigar brands.  Daily tours are available and the tour guides all speak excellent English.  At the end of the tour you may be invited to enter the huge “Humidor” where you can buy the cigar of your choice by the box.  A box of 25 Cohiba Churchhills are about $300 US.  The next few days will feature photos of the factory tour.  Photos were not permitted but we got special permission for a few.
Jeff Johnson and Hy Conrad hosted along with the cast of “Other Dessert Cities” an exotic event of desserts and dessert cocktails from around the world. Tiramisu with a Frozen Chocolate Mudslide, Zabaglione with a Lemon Crème Pie Martini, Keoke Coffee with Creme Brûlée were just a few of the desserts and cocktails. I think this should be done every week; Please!
[Grinder Pumps] For those of you who forgot how many things can go wrong with the E-one grinder pump, here is one with typical problems after 3 years never being underwater or in a Hurricane.  I really dont understand why this system which will need a new pump after 8 years or so is even being used in the Florida Keys. Video
help wanted smElectronics Technician Cudjoe Blimp Site. Cudjoe Key Aerostat Site currently has an opening for an Electronic Technician I.  You must be physically fit and drug free. This position involves maintenance and operations such as replacing components and wiring circuits; repairing simple electronic equipment; and taking test readings using common instruments such as digital multimeters, signal generators, power meters, power supplies, laptop computer, and oscilloscopes; and performing corrosion control on equipment and towers. Position requires cross-training and qualification to launch and recover the aerostat. Advanced computer skills and radar experience preferred. If you are interested in applying, please email your intentions to Chip at Classified Ads > Help Wanted
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[Good Bye Dr Sanford] The Good Health Clinic board of directors invites the public to come say goodbye to Dr. Sanford Yankow, who founded the clinic in 2003. Yankow recently announced that he will be moving to New Mexico.

A farewell open house will be held from 4:30-6:30 p.m. on May 21 at the Murray E. Nelson Government and Cultural Center, 102050 Overseas Hwy., MM 102, Key Largo. Appetizers will be provided courtesy of Island Grill at the Mandalay, and photography donated by Jannette De Llanos. Wine and beer will be available for sale by Friends of the Key Largo Cultural Center. Dr. Yankow’s last day at the clinic will be May 30. The clinic will remain open five days a week. Events

[Secret Death Toll] Senate Agrees: US people can’t know overseas drone death toll. At behest of intelligence chief, Senate removes “modest” provision that would reveal number of people killed by US attacks overseas. Link
[No Mother’s Day Gift For You] Infant boy dies sleeping next to mother on Stock Island. Detectives, DCF agents investigating circumstances; mother arrested Monday on unrelated theft, drug charges. Link
[“MetroPC”] The only service that I’ve found what works everywhere in the Keys is AT&T (those bastards). Every other service is spotty and doesn’t have 4G coverage. Beware, some providers say they have 4G, but they don’t tell you that they don’t provide it in the Keys.
[MetroPCS] I don’t have experience with them. I use Sprint because my phone doesn’t have a SIM card and Sprint is the only service I can use. I use the service from a third party provider called Ting. My total bill ranges from $13-16 a month for everything except texting. Texting costs $3 extra a month. They have the best customer service next to Amazon I’ve ever seen. A tech person even sent me a recipe for chicken soup once. All that being said, AT&T is the only provider that has no dead spots in the Keys. Link
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An old Chinesas expression.
What if Hitler had made a simple strategy change in 1941? Could the war have ended with the Axis powers ruling most of the world and America cowering on the other side of the globe? Hitler wanted the Soviet Union’s extensive oil fields in the Caucaus. Link
[Rescue at Sea] Nine people, all wearing life jackets, were rescued Sunday after the boat they were on capsized 18 miles southwest of Key West. U.S. Coast Guard Sector Key West received a distress call from the 25-foot vessel around 1:30 p.m. The boat didn’t have a GPS on board but based on the radio transmission, the Coast Guard was able to figure out the boat’s approximate location. The Key West Coast Guard station launched a search boat while a plane from Clearwater did an aerial search, and found the boat. The nine people were found in the water. One of them had a cut on the leg and transferred to a waiting ambulance. The Guard didn’t say where the nine were from or why the boat capsized.
panama face29
Keep your eye on the Panama elections next week. Some are talking about a new dictator and some are even preparing for a ‘situation’. Similar and dysfunctional Panama, as Key West politics, but on a larger and worse scale if you can imagine.
[“Eating Amberjack”]  Please remember to check the 2014 Florida Fish Consumption Advisories.  Here is the newest. Scroll down to two pages before the bottom page for Salt Water Consumption Advisories .pdf
[Grinder Pumps] Grinder pumps are not the best available technology for the Florida Keys. There are other choices. Link
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April 29, 2004: The end of the road for Oldsmobile. It’s no wonder because that car was one of the most boring in all of Cardom.
[Bubba’s Story] So eloquently written and I could never understand why articles and cartoons that I sent in were never posted. I have to admit none of them had the panache that this posting had. I figured I was just not a member of the posting club, but this has set me straight. If I was still posting I would have to think about more stuff that included jacking off and cumming both premature and ways to delay.
[Grinder Woes] My wife and I went to the FKAA building and asked about deleting the Easement document and were told if it was signed before a certain date, it was automatically deleted by the company. We shall see. If not, it will be WW3 on my property if they try to stick a grinder pump up my arse!
not guilty judge
[Innocent] More than 4 percent of inmates sentenced to death in the United States are probably innocent, according to a study published Monday that sent shock waves across the anti-death penalty community. Link
Grass is not good for the Keys. It is good for the Route 1 contractors who make a fortune mowing the stupid roads. Grass sucks!
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I’m coming
… to the conclusion I need an anti-snore pillow.
[“Go for the grass it’s lovely”]  Are you nuts? There is no grass in the Keys except what idiots plant and it does nothing but contribute to the mosquitos and noseeums. Go out to the real Key islands [mangrove islands] and I dare you to find grass, flowers, and all the crap you invaders brings down from Yankertown. Forget grass kep your pearock and rid us of the bugs, snakes and iguanas!
[Internet Explorer vulnerable] Use another web browser like Firefox until Microsoft patches this new hole. Link
Everything on this day in history
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3 GOP politicians are embroiled in scandal in just the last few months. FTR spins it to blame the Democrats.
National politics is back. Click on this link to send your national political post anonymously. No one will know your name or email address, [Well, maybe the NSA will] not even me. FTR is going to be the new national politics editor. Do not fear, FTR promised to post everything, even if he hates it, he’s that kind of guy.
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from the right
Not too long ago a poster who called himself “Gunny” wrote that Republicans were “obsessed” with controlling the lives and ostracizing GLBT persons. That, of course, is patent nonsense. Even though the claim is totally false, the charge has become standard, boilerplate propaganda from the left.

I believe that the reason for that is that the left considers the GLBT c to be a monolithic voting bloc.  That of course is stereotyping, a mortal sin to liberals. But hypocrisy has never quieted liberal rants.

The fact is that the GLBT community is a politically diverse community. The ranks of the right are rich with members of the GLBT community.

Yesterday it was reported that Carl DeMaio of San Diego is a very successful businessperson, is openly gay, is in a long term committed relationship, is a Republican, and is a candidate for the US Congress.  As a result of his candidacy, DeMaio has been the target of homophobic attacks. But where are those attacks coming from?

Certain members of the GLBT community who are leftist ideologues are foaming, spittle spewing mad. That rage has resulted in DeMaio has suffering scurrilous attacks and dirty tricks from the left. One false attack drew the attention of the San Diego Ethics Commission. An anonymous left-wing group funded a SuperPac and sent mailers of DeMaio photoshopped next to a drag queen to neighborhoods with a majority of elderly and American-African voters, in the belief that such a photo would suppress support for DeMaio. Deer Friends that act itself is stereotyping, it shows that the operators of the GLBT Superpac consider blacks and the elderly to be homophobic.

The letter was so egregious and false that the group was fined by the city’s Ethics Commission, but even after that, and with his 100 percent voting record with the LGBT community, the Left still didn’t speak up to defend him.

“I’ve found more tolerance, acceptance and inclusion from social conservative groups who have to reconcile that I’m a Republican who happens to be gay…versus the intolerance the LGBT leaders see me as a gay man who happens to be a Republican,” DeMaio said.

A POSTER WROTE ABOUT THE SITUATION: “If you’re not for the cult then you are against the cult:  “DeMaio has been the target of homophobic attacks. But where are those attacks coming from? It’s not always from the far right social conservatives you’d expect; rather, it’s been from DeMaio’s left – the liberal and Democrat-affiliated groups that you’d think would be proud that an openly gay successful businessman has decided to run for office. ”


A POSTER WROTE: “Income inequality. “Democrats represent eight of the ten richest congressional districts in the country. Democrat Carolyn Maloney represents the district with the highest per capita income of $75,479. Outgoing congressman Henry Waxman represents the district with the second-highest per capita income of $61,273. The only two Republicans on the list are Representative Leonard Lance, whose New Jersey district ranks seventh, and outgoing Representative Frank Wolf, whose Virginia district ranks tenth. The average per capita income of Democratic House districts is $1,000 more than Republican ones.”

FTR’S RESPONSE:  Yep, The Republicans are not the party of the “rich”, nor are we the lackey’s of the “rich”.  Still another boilerplate propaganda item from the left is proven false. Thanks!

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