2018 August

Friday, August 24, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​​

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[Someone in Key West Shot an Osprey] The poor bird’s in pretty rough shape. The guy used a BB gun, the worthless P-O-S. Link
Why has it become open season on Keys wildlife? Tourism. What do they have against nature? Stupid people who come here to drink don’t know any better. Undersized and speared lobsters, conch, Key deer poached and put in a car! Hooked and killed trained tarpon, pelicans with slit throats. What’s wrong with people? People who hurt animals have the propensity to hurt humans. I’m afraid of city slickers and other tourists.

Safety tip: Don’t get caught brandishing a BB gun. The police in Chicago shot a kid who presented a BB gun. Case law has already been established.

I am deeply saddened by my friend Stump’s death as anyone who knew him is also. My prayers and thoughts are with his wife Hana. ~Flip Flop Bob



Hello Everyone, Wetstock 14 will happen Sunday, Sept. 2nd around noon. Ray West has joined the lineup as well. Please come enjoy a day of peace and music, be kind to the people around you, take only pictures, and leave only footprints.

[Movies] How come when the actor is phoning his loved ones telling them to run, he never tells them why? That drives me crazy. What would you do if your spouse called and told you to immediately take the kids and go far as you can, without giving a reason?  Then they spend a minute arguing. Why doesn’t he just say fire, volcano, apocalypse, tsunami?
[Cloaking a Ship] If you want to make a ship disappear like they do on Star Trek, you can cover the body in LCD panels that will each project the area surrounding the ship back to itself.

First Commandment says, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” If I read this right it says we can have other gods, that’s okay, but we can’t have any that are more important than Him. Makes sense. If there is one god why can’t there be more? As long as the big god is spelled with a capital G.

My dream is to have a house on land with no neighbors, but within a couple of miles of a supermarket and the ocean. It doesn’t get any better than that.
[Vote This Tuesday] Dear Lower Keys Friends and Neighbors, Today, as I prepared for my last day as your County Planning Commissioner (this Wednesday), I’m reminded what my 10+ years of work advancing our County’s local utility and conservation policies and goals looks like.

It’s been 10+ years and nearly 300 meetings (most as a private citizen), getting it done.

And it has truly has been an honor and a privilege to work for our residents and the protection of our Keys.  ~Beth

Beth Ramsay-Vickrey Candidate for Key West Utility Board Seat D

[Homeless] The Key West homeless shelter is moving once again. I think this is the third or forth time they’ve moved the homeless around. If a little place like Key West can’t control its small homeless population, what are the large cities supposed to do. There is no solution except the ‘final solution’. Okay Adolph, fire up the ovens!

Q: What has everyone been waiting for all their lives?
A: Death.
[Party] This past year brought many challenges to those of us in the lower Keys.  On Saturday, September 8th a Florida Recovery Celebration will be held from 11 am until 5 pm at the Big Pine Community Park.

I wrote to one of the organizers, Attorney Dennis Ward, requesting he acknowledge and honor Winn Dixie’s GM, Kenny Lowe, for his compassion and efforts immediately following the storm (among other things, he graciously offered to make phone calls to family members letting them know their loved ones survived), provided free internet service to the many in need, opened the store for much needed provisions and basically gave his heart and sole during a period when we needed it most.

US 1 Radio should also be recognized for their efforts in providing our only life line of communicating during those initial challenging days of survival following the devastation that Irma left behind.  She definitely tested us physically, emotionally, mentally and financially.

[Costumes] I saw a Congresswoman on the tube wearing a costume from Africa like it was normal. I don’t think this American-born woman realized how foolish she looked. It wasn’t Halloween. Imagine if Congresspeople started showing up in the costumes of their ancestors how silly that would look. We could see men wearing kilts and American Indians could wear loincloths. Maybe even a samurai! Oh, what fun to add to the circus atmosphere of government.






I can’t grow pot no matter how I try. It was doing so well, I thought my jinx was over, but this plant just up and died in one day. It’s such a shame because seeds are so hard to get down here.

[Vitamin D Scandal] The ‘Sunshine Supplement’ has shadowy money behind it. The doctor most responsible for creating a billion-dollar juggernaut has received hundreds of thousands of dollars from the vitamin D industry. Excellus BlueCross BlueShield of Rochester, N.Y spent $33 million on 641,000 vitamin D tests in one year! More than 40 percent of Excellus patients tested had no medical reason to be screened. In spite of efforts to rein in the tests, vitamin D usage has remained high. It’s very hard to change habits. The medical community is not much different than the rest of the world, and we get into fads.” Link
[“Destroy Christianity–destroy society”] People who think society is based on Christianity are the same people who think humans don’t know right from wrong and are inherently bad. They think they, themselves are bad, so figure everyone else is bad too. These people don’t trust themselves to be good they need some one or thing to follow. The only reason we have religion is to keep the fear of Hell alive, the promise of an afterlife, and to comfort us during troubled times. Catholics have the added bonus of being forgiven for any sin they choose to commit. “Ten Our Fathers and ten Hail Mary’s” — and your forgiven! That’s the one I’d join.
[“Hardie Board”] I agree that it is not good for wet locations. I used it as corner boards for a small building and the bottoms got wet and swelled and split.





[Fire Starter] Just in case you are ever stranded in the Everglades or somewhere with only a jug of Carlo Rossi white wine, now you know how to start a campfire when the sun gets low in the sky. Cool, huh?

[Grammar Police] Pleaded is the standard past tense and past participle of the verb plea. Pled has always been considered incorrect by people who make such judgments, but it is so common that we have to accept it as an alternative form. And pled is not just an Americanism, as some have claimed. Link
[Test Your Business] If your business involves tourism and dealing with the general public, you would be better served by trying out this exercise. Three times a day, call your place of business. Listen to the person answering your phones. This is the first contact the general public has, and your company only has one chance to make a great first impression. Does the person answering your phones sound happy and nice? Do they project warmth and have a pleasant voice? Or do they sound frenzied and in a hurry like they’re on crack? We really don’t need to know their names. Just a “Good afternoon, Coconut Telegraph!” with a smile in their voice at a normal clip. Do they slam your customers in to voice mail land without first asking if that is okay? Do they place people on hold longer than two minutes without returning? You may think it’s a small position, being a receptionist / switchboard operator, but they are the first person we deal with. If it is a bad experience, they’re rude, talk way too fast or way too slow, then many of us are left with a bad vibe. Pay the person enough so they are able to project their happiness over the phone. ‘Giving good telephone’ helps your business prosper.
[Friday Joke] The origin of profiling. The day it all started was March 6,1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo and walked up to the observation post along the west wall of the fort. William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already there, looking out over the top of the wall. These three great men gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving towards the Alamo. With a puzzled look on his face, Crockett turned to Bowie and said, “Jim, are we, by any chance, having any landscaping done today?”
Look what is at the end of the rainbow!
The election is this coming Tuesday and many candidates, like myself, are being asked questions about why I am qualified? Utility Board Seat D is an example of a position with four candidates who have all campaigned hard and who all believe they are qualitied and should be elected. So why me? Is it education? Does my BS in Electrical Engineering and Wharton MBA give me a heads up? I think it gives me knowledge that is applicable to being a Board member and the rigor needed to solve the critical operational and financial problems that Keys Energy is facing.What about utility experience? Two competitors have past utility experience–one has none. While my two opponents have each worked for a single utility, I have experience in key management positions with one utility as well as experience as a management consultant and problem solver for over 100 utilities. I am often the person utility management, as well as state and federal regulators call when they have complex problems to solve. I live and breathe utilities.I am also an environmental advocate, community activist and have operated local businesses. These are important qualifications, but what is my greatest strength? I have gravitas! I have the seriousness and strength of character to face up to any issue or opponent. I have gone head-to-head with utility executives, local, national and international politicians, and world-renowned engineers and scientists when important and complex issues needed to be addressed. I am often the person utilities call when they have complex problems to solve.

When I sit for the first time as a Board member I will be ready to take on the problems facing Keys Energy. I will be there to assure that ratepayers are properly treated, employees are respected, and budgets are sound and managed in an optimal manner. I am Walt Drabinski, the most qualified candidate for Key West Utility Board Seat D.

[Raw Milk Scandal] Dr. Chris Kesser questioned the CDC’s “facts” about the risk in drinking unpasteurized milk. He found that the CDC included disease caused by “bathtub cheese” (Queso Fresca). when he removed those cases, he found that your chance of being hospitalized from ingesting raw milk was 1 in 6 million. By contrast, your chance of dying in a plane crash is 1 in 2 million. (three times as likely) In other words, really bad information from the CDC is responsible for raw milk sales being illegal in all 50 states. Once again, a regulatory agency is a shill for industry.
I had no idea how many types of pasteurization were used. Some are much less harmful to the nutrition value of milk than others. Curiously, supermarket organic milk is one of the worst for pasteurization abuse. Maybe that’s why it tastes weird and will not make yogurt no matter how much starter you add. It is probably not digesting right either.
Here’s a link to an article by Dr. Josh Axe that describes the types of pasteurization and the myths about the supposed benefits. Link



These shields are supposed to protect the water from the construction crap, but when placed haphazardly like this one, they are more of a nuisance to boaters traveling up the canal. This one is on Little Torch Key near the public ramp.

[R.I.P. Stump] A 60-year-old, Clark Ray Terry, “Stump” of Summerland Key, was headed south on the Overseas Highway at mile marker 39 when he lost control of his 2007 Harley-Davidson, which fell to the ground but kept moving onto the southbound shoulder, lodging in the mangroves, according to the Florida Highway Patrol.

Terry fell off the motorcycle and was found on the shoulder of the road.

“The driver sustained fatal injuries as a result of the crash,” FHP said of Sunday’s tragedy. We knew him at “Stump”. Link

The next meeting of the Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, August 25, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there! Full Menu > Ongoing Events




[Cactus Vine] This night blooming cactus vine came back after Irma. Actually, just about everything is coming back. The flower is very beautiful and only blooms late at night. All we ever see is the ‘after’ of the bloom because we are not up late at night any more.




The photograph, Grace, celebrates a century this year. Video

[Phosphate Additives] It appears that your soft drink is out to kill you, and not just with HFCS or artificial sweeteners. Here are some quotes from an article published by the National Institute of Health written by a research group of MDs and MD Professors. Link
“… an avoidable risk to health that has not attracted sufficient attention to date arises from the increased use of phosphate as a food additive and preservative. This “free” (not organically bound) phosphate is very effectively absorbed in the gastrointestinal tract. Typical foods with large amounts of added phosphate are processed meat, ham, sausages, canned fish, baked goods, cola drinks, and other soft drinks.
“It used to be thought that the only health risk posed by phosphate lay in the promotion of calcification in blood vessels and bodily organs.
“In particular, phosphate added to animal fodder accelerates age-related organ complications such as muscle and skin atrophy, the progression of chronic renal failure, and cardiovascular calcifications (e2). Phosphate added to human food probably has similar effects in man. Inexpensive food containing additives (processed food), and fast food in particular, are extraordinarily rich in phosphate additives.”
It is not just Cola and fast food with added p phosphates now. It is also in much of your supermarket raw dinner ingredients, perhaps especially chicken and turkey where it is injected to extend shelf life and compensate for poor cooking skill by adding moisture and modifying texture. Beware.
It’s a jungle out there, Jane



This giant plane flew low over us while out fishing, I guess to freak us out. It did. Having any object larger than a building fly over your head while in a small boat is sure to get your attention. Go Navy!

We just downloaded Kodi TV to my laptop and tried to set it up. What a joke! By the time you set this mess you could get more free stuff online without it!

Kodi is a free and open-source media player software application that will play on any device. Link


[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

[“Never allow a priest to be alone with a child.”] How are you going to prevent an oversexed priest from being alone with a child? A friend’s adolescent sister was raped by a priest behind the alter after choir practice. When she reported this to her mother, she punished her for lying!

Instead, just make sure every child has a gun. Guns are the great equalizer that make the otherwise weak and vulnerable able to defend themselves against predators. That’s any predator, be they preying priests, pedophile, perverts, raging rapists, mommy muggers or leaping leopards. Predators are opportunists that depend on their victims being largely defenseless against their attack.
Do the predator-priest a favor and ease the pressure on his swollen nuts with a child’s Derringer bullet. Next time he might find relief in his own palm.

[Friday Groaner] Men, if you are taking Viagra make sure it says, “Made in USA”. We do not want the Russians meddling in our erections!
[Getting Noticed] This Asian lady was so proud of her new boobs she installed lights on them to get more people to notice them. For all you old coots that need a night-light, here’s one that you’d like to get your hands on. Video
[Free Money] If you need monetary help and you live in the Keys, apply to the Coldwell Banker Schmitt Charitable Foundation. It was created in April 2002 and is dedicated to helping Keys’ residents whose critical needs are not being met through other means. The funds are donated to the Foundation through the generous hearts of the Coldwell Banker Schmitt Real Estate agents, staff, associates, business partners, and the public.

The Board meets on the third Tuesday of each month to review requests and determine whether or not to grant funding to those individuals, families, and nonprofit organizations that qualify and have submitted an application. The application deadline is the 5th of the month and will be reviewed at that month’s meeting. Link

[“Pollution”] The only true pollution is the f**king media and this blog!
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