2016 December

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

bucktooth-700x175-12-13-16We’ll be opening any day now as soon as we get all out licenses. In the meantime, come by and pick up a menu. Our hours will start at 6:30 am for Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and Dessert. We’ll close when the last local is fed! Respectfully, Rob DeGennaro, Bucktooth Rooster
Click our ad for the menu.
ferry-monroe-county-overseas-hwy-1927[Ferry to Cuba] City officials are asking state and federal representatives for lobbying assistance in order to open the Key West ferry terminal to international service. A major roadblock in opening ferry day trips to Cuba is converting the terminal into an international customs office and the federal staffing the terminal would require. For security reasons the existing terminal lobby cannot be used for both international and domestic arrivals and departures.
[Is it possible to sue a real estate company for letting undesirables in my neighborhood”] No, if that was true 99% of the people who moved here since 1989 wouldn’t be here. And who is judging? Clearly, if it’s you, you were misjudged when you were allowed to stay. “Sue”, clearly a northern path to a solution. Down here we used to take our neighbors “fishin’” when we had differences to settle. Try talking to your neighbors.


Big Pine Key, a different kind of place.  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, downtown Big Pine

[Yankees vs Rebels] In Search of Southern Hospitality. The hospitality of the Southern States of America is renowned the world over and the phrase “Southern Hospitality” represents a time honored tradition of warmth, kindness and selfless hospitality. Audio
announcer on tv

In the future, an NFL game will consist of one play analyzed and replayed for 3.8 hours. And I fully expect that soon there will be more people in the ESPN studio than playing the game on the field.

Deer Editor, Please restate your rules for posting slanderous remarks about a person or bad reviews about a business as far as they relate to publishing the posters email. I don’t really see any consistency enforcing this, it seems somewhat random. Care to clarify? (Ed: Be nice to others or I’ll post your email address if I remember to.)
Reggae music is not really my thing, but I can tell when it’s played poorly. Saturday night a guy at the Hurricane in Marathon was attempting to play some reggae. I didn’t stick around, but, man, he was lucky if he got of that building alive. It was that bad.



Not believe in Santa Claus? You might as well not believe in fairies!

[Healthcare Waste] A friend was recuperating from a stroke in the KW rehab center. My friend acquired an infection there that required an operation, so they took my friend next door to the KW hospital (LKMC). The two buildings are adjacent and maybe 300′ of asphalt driveway separates the two entrances. My friend could have made the trip in a wheelchair, but the City of KW ambulance was called to do the job. They charged $600! Medicare denied the payment and says the City might charge my friend. I can see a specialty niche for an Uber driver with a handicap van



[Yellowtail] I do enjoy fishing & here on Pine Key we have some of the very best fishing in the world. Snapper fishing is always fun & Yellow Tail fishing is a favorite. Heck, a picture is worth a thousand words, and, yes, it’s a record!

[No Weather] Why is it that when I really need a radar update that I get some stupid-ass notice that  “radar picture unavailable” or whatever lame message they have? Who are these people and why are we paying them?
[Don’t Blame The Cruise Ships–No One’s Perfect] About 300 gallons of human waste was discharged into the water at Coast Guard Sector Key West after a valve was inadvertently left open on the 270-foot Cutter Thetis docked at the base Thursday.

[The Last National Hero] The Corps lost a legend this Friday. Col. John Glenn— an astronaut, a senator, a Marine—died at the age of 95.
Semper Fi, Sir

Key West may not have adopted the term ‘sanctuary city’ until now, but we have always basically been one. Kudos to the commission on underlining our commitment to equality for all and the decision to send the One Human Family message to our president elect. That’s right. Make Key West a sanctuary city, as one commissioner, Jimmy Weekley, suggests. Let the illegal immigrants come. It’s not like we don’t have enough problems finding affordable housing for our own citizens.


Whoever said, “Money can’t buy happiness” obviously never heard of boats, babes and booze!

[Old Music] Robbie Robertson talks about his relationships with Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen and Levon Helm. Audio
[Mainstream Media] Who are they? and what are they all about? It seems that mainstream media are nothing but a bunch of whores out to make a buck. Their god is the almighty buck and the bottom line and their responsibility is to the shareholders. This past year has illustrated how low they will go to get market share, using their 3D philosophy: Distortion, Distraction, Deception. Anyone wanting to sway information does it. Anyone with an IQ more than a garden snail should be able to see thru their fantasies, however that’s not the case. Take for example this Jill Stein person demanding a ballot recount. She only got 0.0847% of the vote. And this yahoo QB from the SF 49ers who disrespected America and thinks Fidel is cool. If it wasn’t for the media whores with their obsession to make as much as possible no matter what it takes we wouldn’t have to put up with all their nonsense. So now what? Be critical of what you see hear or read. Be cautious to take anything on face value. Just because some self-important person says so don’t mean it’s real. Remember the 3Ds. Just put your nickel down and take your chances.
lady laugh at flasher


[The Mad Whacker] A 26-year-old homeless man was arrested Tuesday in Key West for masturbating in public, marking his fourth arrest!

[Solar Arrays At The New City Hall] If the numbers the person posted are correct for this project, then it should have never been done in the first place. He said each array cost $343,300 and produces 65,750 kilowatt hours annually. If the price of electricity is 15 cents per kWh, then yearly savings for each array would be $9,862. This means the simple payback for this project is about 35 years. The panels will not last that long. New technology will replace them.  (I know, we’re “doing it for the children”.)
an photo bikini model


The Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges Photography Club meeting will be held Wednesday, Dec. 14, from 6:30 to 8 p.m. at the National Key Deer Refuge Visitor Center in the Winn-Dixie plaza on Big Pine Key. Kristie Killam at 205- 304-9625

[Crooks] Sheriff’s Office detectives are investigating residential break-ins which have taken place in Sugarloaf Key and Bay Point recently. Two attempted burglaries and four actual burglaries have taken place in that area since November 30.


[Coconuts Utility Pole Ornament Is Nowhere Near Coconuts] I said, “Sure we’ll help with the island’s Christmas decorations. Can you just do one thing for us? Can you put our sign close to Coconuts?” This is the result.

Really? Really? You’ve got to be kidding me. Really? REALLY?
~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, downtown Big Pine Key, not near the defunct Big Pine Liquors

Stop complaining about Yankees. Remember that after we won the war we were nice to you–we let you go home. Look what we did to the Indians!
group-crowd-expanding[One Human Family] Taking a stand to reaffirm the official Key West philosophy of “One Human Family,” city commissioners said the move was necessary in light of the contentious political climate expected to continue after President-elect Donald Trump takes office.
One Human Family was first adopted by city commissioners in 2000 and reaffirmed on its 10-year anniversary in 2010. The philosophy urges residents and visitors to actively care for and support each other, “affirming human rights and resisting any efforts to demonize neighbors, take political revenge, legislate discrimination or hate and fear.” Rev. Randy Becker, who had asked Commissioner Sam Kaufman to bring the resolution up at the commission’s Dec. 6 meeting, said the reaffirmation was a “statement to the world” that Key West will not retreat from its commitment to protect and defend its citizens’ rights.
[Technology] I imagine that pretty soon we’ll be reading the Citizen online and all the images will be moving.



This ad should be in the local papers. Have you eve tried to get good help down here? They all suffer from Keys disease for witch there is no cure

[Health] A reminder from the Fluoride Alert Network: No government (local, state or federal) should have the right to add chemicals to the drinking water designed to treat human beings as opposed to treating the water to make it safe or palatable to drink. Treating human beings in this way violates the individual’s right to informed consent to medical – or human – treatment. Most European countries recognize this human right.”
“Unlike all other water treatment processes, fluoridation does not treat the water itself, but the person consuming it. The Food & Drug Administration accepts that fluoride is a drug, not a nutrient, when used to prevent disease. By definition, therefore, fluoridating water is a form of mass medication.” FKAA fluoridates the drinking water they sell, and no, swallowing it does not protect teeth- instead it makes bones brittle and has been proven to facilitate Alzheimer’s and some cancers, and also to lower IQ. (which may help explain FKAA management decisions) Link
[Am I Living in a Post-Apocalyptic Dystopian Hinterland] Take the test. Video
[Sewers] has a good short article about the lack of required environmental oversight on the Cudjoe Regional sewers. The author was manager of the Key Largo Wastewater District and has described to me the rigorous permitting and mitigation they had to do there ensuring no wood rats and relocating tree snails (pointed in the right direction!) onto safer trees. That seems over zealous to me, but a total lack of environmental concern seems worse- and that’s what we saw in the Lower Keys on all of the FKAA projects, with the most egregious being Cudjoe Regional. Check out her short article! Link
[Guns to Plowshares] Swedish Development Partner so far has several tons of the metal between existing stockpiles in El Salvador and Guatemala. The last weapon destruction in El Salvador destroyed 1,825 guns. The organization plans to scale up its work as demand grows for the metal.



[Labels] Whenever you see the words “low fat” or “fat free” think of the words “chemical shit storm”.

GMO tequila may save humanity. Link
turtle-burgersYes, we enjoyed turtleburgers, turtle steak & turtle soup. It was a long time ago. Like so many things a change was needed. Turtles are protected and doing well. I must say that turtle, Jewfish & conch were excellent, and are missed on my dinner table. Conch, although protected here, is not protected elsewhere & finds it’s way to my house several times a year.

~Merry Christmas, Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, downtown Big Pine Key

[Beer Contest] Regional homebrewers from South Florida take to the stage at the Brew on the Bay Homebrew Showcase to compete for the Best in Show and People’s Choice Award on Friday, January 6 at the Lions Club at MM100. The Homebrew Showcase is a local favorite featuring up-and-coming brewers with distinctively formulated homebrewed beer, mead, and ciders. It is the tipping point for aspiring Professional Brewers, having already produced two local businesses; Florida Keys Brewing Co. and Keybilly.

Homebrewers compete in four categories ranging in styles from light lagers, ambers, smoked beers and anything hoppy. A panel of industry judges awards a first and second place in each category and selects a Best in Show grand prize winner. Local enthusiasts also have an opportunity to vote on their favorite brew choosing the People’s Choice for 2017.

Deer Ed, Hope you had a good time away and thanks for getting the CT out, in spite of your distance and multiple time zones.
pizza-slice-steam[Health] UK researchers have discovered that the leaf juices in those supermarket bags of salad fixings not only make an exceptional breeding ground for pathogens, but according to the lead researcher they also “appeared to enhance the Salmonella’s capacity to establish an infection in the consumer.”
Salmonella from a supermarket deli almost killed me once. I think I’ll stick to just burning some meat at home and choosing the hot soup over the mixed salad at the restaurant. One great thing about pizza is it just came out of a 750 degree oven
Does anyone have any information about Glen Reber who I think lives in the avenues on Big Pine Key? No, he does not owe me money! Thanks. (Editor: This sad person has been looking for Glen Reber for as long as we’ve been publishing the Coconut Telegraph, really.)
[Christmas Flash Mob] USAF Band WWII Holiday FlashbackVideo




Art done by a woman inmate in the Art Behind Bars program in the county jail on Stock Island. “When Pigs Fly”

Florida PEER has issued a very detailed Freedom of Information Act request to FWS and shortly to EPA and the Army Corps as regarding the Cudjoe Regional wastewater facility requesting all of the studies that were required to be done (but were not), and all of the inter-agency communication that may have facilitated the federal crime. It is lengthy, but here is an excerpt:

“The requested information concerns the federal role in the planning, construction and eventual operation of the Facility and the extent to which these activities will impact critical governmental functions and programs such as compliance with NEPA and the oversight of the Endangered Species Act. Thus, this request concerns the impacts that the Facility will have upon endangered and threatened species in this environmentally sensitive area of the nation.
The general public has always had a keen interest in any factor bearing upon endangered and threatened species. Moreover, the geographical area in question is one of the most environmentally sensitive areas in the country. It is an area that annually attracts millions of people, both residents and tourists alike, who are drawn by the animals, flora and fauna that call this region home. Environmental destruction of this area would thus have a significant impact upon the public and the public has a right to know the extent to which their government oversees projects that would harm the area and the species that call it home.”

In case you are not familiar with PEER, here is how they described some of what they do in their information request:
“PEER intends to provide the requested information to the general public through —
Release to the news media;
Posting on PEER’s web page which draws between 1,000 and 10,000 viewers per day; and
Publication in PEER’s newsletter that has a circulation of approximately 20,000, including 1,500 environmental journalists.
As the agency well knows from past direct experience, PEER has a long track record of attracting media and public attention to the internal records of federal agencies. For example, In August 2016 we notified the public about numerous problems associated with the management of the National Park and Florida PEER has reported on the EPA’s failure to hold state officials accountable for blatant conflicts of interest that violated the Clean Water Act.

The TDC should send a huge contribution to PEER for working so hard to bring the Lower Keys and its wealth of threatened and endangered species to national attention! You just can’t buy advertising that will put this big of a spotlight on the Keys. As for those at FKAA and the County responsible for knowingly dodging federal requirements? Stay tuned! Link

nira-tocco 700x175
Will Sombrero lighthouse ever have an anemometer again? NOAA got, how many millions? to grow rocks at Mote Marine but something important like wind speed info directly south of the East end of 7 Mile Bridge? “Huh? Wha?”




[Redneck Outboard Motor] Yup, that’s what you think it is.

[Thought For The Day] Nearly every hand you’ve shaken has had a penis in it.




Santa after eating cookies that were left out for him in Colorado. Legalize it!

[Boating School] The US Coast Guard Auxiliary, Flotilla 13-03, Big Pine Key, is offering a Boating Skills and Seamanship course beginning January 10th, 2017 thru January 26th, 2017. It is a three-week program, Tuesdays and Thursdays, from 7:00 to 9:30 P.M. It will be held at Venture Out (Ship’s Store, 2nd floor), 701 Spanish Main Drive, Cudjoe Key, Florida.

The cost of the program is $55 per person (materials included) or $80 for two people with shared materials.

Topics include: Which Boat is for You, Required Boat Equipment, Operator Responsibilities, Rules of the Road, Handling Your Boat, Highway Signs, Orientation to Nautical Charts, Weather, A Look at the Coast Guard Auxiliary, Navigational Tools & Techniques, Navigation Exercise, Trailering, Boating Safety, Your Boat’s Radio, Florida Law, Hands on Knot Tying and a guest speaker from the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary.

For more information, visit Our Web Site and select “Boating Safety Classes”. To sign up: Contact: Diane Adam 305-872-4071, Bob Eichholtz 305-872-7505

[They Do It Better Up North] The old saying in the data processing industry is garbage in garbage out. Well, that also applies to most restaurants in Florida, for sure!
(Editor: I think the following negative comments are all from the same disgruntled person using different email addresses. I might be wrong, but they all came in at the same time and are similar to another slew I received on the same topic before.)
[Disgruntled Customer] One reason most businesses in the Keys fail is because their suppliers are over pricing the wholesale costs, and the retailer cannot live on a 10% mark up. Also inept management is the main cause. People think they can open a business but have no step by step plan or analyze the territory to see what sells and what is a waste of time. The whole plan is to drive out the locals, buy up the dirt for pennies on the dollar and redevelop these islands as a jumping off resort point to Cuba and other parts south. We are going to see these island crumble into concrete and hotels just as other water front properties have become JAWS areas.

I just ordered a pair of multi-power reading glasses that cost me $29.95 and $4.00 shipping. They used their old wholesale box to ship it in and left the wholesale price tags on the inside wrapper. $.80 yes, 80 cents a pair! What a ripoff!

[Disgruntled Customer] We had a couple as guests for the week touring Key West and its night spots. They spent over $2500 in four days, mostly for lodging and food, Their touring was walking all over town. Now $2500 doesn’t seem a lot, but when you have to pay $8 for mash potatoes to go with your steak it gets to be a bit over priced. I was waiting for fork charge, knife charge and toilet paper by the sheet charge.
[Disgruntled Customer] What is going on here in the Keys? Restaurants are going nuts with high prices, lousy food, rotten service and business hours when they fell like it. Some hire new managers who never ran an eatery anywhere, and cooks that must have been master baiters on crap boats. The Keys have just about had it.
[Disgruntled Customer] Key West the land of the brie and home of the slave and prices to match! I told two friends they could see Key West on a budget of no more than $1000 per week if they stayed at friends, ate at fast food joints and walked around town looking for deals and free stuff. It didn’t work, they were broke in three days. It’s sad when you get stung for a cheeseburger for $15.00 and it tastes like s**t! A cup of coffee $2.50? Bottle of water $1.98.
Submit anything but National Politics to For National Politics go directly to that page, log in, and post your comment. NATIONAL POLITICS

national politics an(Click here)