Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.


[Get Rid of E15 and Ethanol] When ethanol was first added to gasoline, America faced increasing imports and prices of crude oil. Since then, through the innovation of private sector, U.S. has reduced its reliance on imported crude oil and became an exporter. With this in mind, I believe we need to get rid of ethanol as an additive. It’s highly subsidized, causes problems in engines and fuel systems, and is not energy efficient in that it delivers fewer miles per gallon. Let’s go back to just gasoline coming from the pump

Anyone who tells you they’re a genius, isn’t one.


I have a key deer skull that is starting to fall apart. Is there some kind of clear coating, other than fiberglass which is too thick and turns amber, that I can use to keep it together? It’d be a shame to let such a rare thing fall apart. (I had an alligator skull once from an alligator who had the misfortune of being in my yard. It made a fine stew. The teeth started to fall out, then each part of the skull fell off until the whole thing was a pile of bone fragments and teeth.) I hope I don’t get in trouble for having the deer skull. I found it on my land where I’ve lived for thirty years. It’s mine. I hope someone out there knows how I can keep it together with as little fuss as possible.

Eight to the bar.” I always thought they were saying ‘”A” to the bar’. I didn’t know what “A” was for, and I thought they meant liquor bar not the musical bar at the end of an eight-beat measure.
Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar-The Andrews Sisters
Keys Energy is making a quick buck by disconnecting and reconnecting your electric service if you are a little late.  I received a disconnection notice on 11/29 for a bill due 11/25, threatening to disconnect me on 12/4 if they weren’t paid.  Wow, that’s less time allowed by a loan shark!  I always pay my bills on time. I have a good record with them. Unfortunately, I had to leave town to help a sick friend and this bill momentarily slipped through the grey matter.  If you are not aware, or one of the lucky ones this has never happened to, be assured Key’s Energy will disconnect you without a single breath of care. They then get to charge you $75 before reactivating your electric service again.  Times are tough and taking advantage of the folks who are struggling week to week is not customer friendly, it’s just plain mean.  Get this one… on this disconnection notice it states, “Beware of scams – if you are ever suspicious, contact KEYS directly.”  Really? Takes one to know one.




Christmas decorations at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum. How many blue pots of poinsettias did it take to create this tree?

[Insurance Claims] Citizens Property Insurance Corporation will join State Representative Holly Raschein for “Office Hours” in Big Pine Key next week to assist policyholders who have Hurricane Irma claims and answer individual questions as they continue to recover. Citizens staff will be available to meet individually with Citizens policyholders about their claim or policy Wednesday. Dec. 5 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Salvation Army Building located at 30300 Overseas Hwy. Big Pine Key.

Citizens staff will be on site to answer customers’ questions and. if warranted, authorize additional payments or schedule additional inspections to address concerns. Policyholders who would like to meet with Citizens are encouraged to call Representative Raschein’s office at 305.453.1202 to schedule an appointment.

Policyholders should bring the following information: property address, phone number, claim or policy number, photos and any other relevant documentation.

[Amazon’s 2-Hour Delivery] Free Same-Day & One-Day Delivery: Now available in over 8,000 cities and towns nationwide. Check your zip code to see which options are available.

Prime Now: Free 2-hour delivery on thousands of items. Shop from Whole Foods Markets stores in select cities. Now delivering in over 30 cities nationwide.

Amazon Fresh: Expanded product offerings including meal kits and select Whole Foods Market products now available for delivery. 1-click reorder option now available.

Homes and their land have spirits. Remember this if you think that you can just walk away from it. It will “call” you to remind you of the shelter, warmth and protection it provided you. Because I felt our old house feeling lonely and empty I found someone to take it over. They swooped in after hearing that a crazy homeless person may have moved in. He was too lazy to do that, what a slob. He would have had to do work! You can donate your house, car or boat to a charity and get a nice federal tax break for five years. Get an appraisal for your taxes. Then you and your property’s spirits will be free and happy. If hurricane Irma or other evil entities have ruined your ‘paradise that doesn’t come easy’, please consider donating it to a worthwhile local and IRS approved charity.
In light of last weeks massive layoffs from GM, here’s a little something from comedian/ philosopher George Carlin. Video





[Moths] Butterflies get all the credit while moths get none. For beauty, this “furry” critter nailed it.

[Representation] Just before my birthday I went to the tax collector’s office to renew my license plates.  In the packet that was mailed to me was a survey about the quality of the service provided by the office.  I checked that I thought that the service was poor and cited the fact that the Big Pine office had not reopened since the storm.  The woman behind the counter glanced at my comment and said, “It’s never going to happen.”

Why is it that some of the basic services in the area most heavily impacted by Hurricane Irma have yet to be restored or may never be restored, e.g. the tax collector’s office and the public library?  I don’t think there’s much hope, either.   Before the election I spoke with Ms. Coldiron about her plans for the district if she were to be elected.  She trotted out Neugent’s silly splash park idea and said she thought we needed an amphitheater built on Big Pine (population 5,000).  I’m not sure what planet she has been on but is obvious that she has not talked much with anyone from here about what’s really needed.

After her election, she was quoted as saying that she now must turn her attention away from Marathon (where she was the mayor) and learn more about county-wide issues — not a single word about improving things in the district she allegedly serves.

Now it turns out that she may not live in our district at all.  She allegedly purchased a house within the appropriate area for the specific purpose of running for the County Commission in our district.  Now we’re supposed to believe that she actually lives there rather than with her husband in their $1.4 million house.

Sad to think we’ve just elected another George Neugent clone to whom the Lower Keys are at best an afterthought.

Climate change is not the biggest threat we face. It’s stupidity.


Thanks to the elves for decorating Fred on the 7 Mile Bridge. He looks very festive and brings a needed smile to many.

[Happy End of Hurricane Season] Let’s not forget our neighbors to the north, who are still digging out from Hurricane Michael



Unfortunate tale of the Key Deer.

[Christmas Caring] “Trying to kill Schmitt” Not everyone cares who attempted to kill a Schmitt. It doesn’t affect my life in the least.  It’s the Christmas season and I rather focus my attention on something a little more festive.  I listen to Christmas carols, watch Christmas movies, buy a Christmas tree in the K-Mart parking lot, throw a Christmas party.  Soon as I see another follow up on who, what, why attempted to kill Schmitt, I scroll to the next story.  I just don’t care.  Only a small circle of people do care.




[Ticks] New tick species capable of transmitting deadly disease is spreading in the U.S. Link

Deer Ed, Could you please add GTM Handyman Services (352) 207-6492 to the Home Improvement/Construction/Cleaning section? Business Directory > Home


Will pepper make an elephant sneeze?

[“What do Muslims want”] Sexy goats!




[A Sure Sign The Apocalypse Is Upon Us] Broadway Joe Namath is doing Medicare supplement insurance commercials.

[Big Corporations] Is anybody else ready to throw out their ATT contract? I have had enough of their BS and lousy service, lousy help and lousy programs and menus. In fact, I might just get a life!


China will start purchasing agricultural products from our farmers immediately! Great negotiations Mr President. China will increase its purchases of a broad range of American products under an agreement that will stave off a tariff increase President Donald Trump had planned to impose on Jan. 1. Link

[Racial Purity] I will not buy products that have inter racial commercials.
[Suicides Rising] 47,000 Americans killed themselves in 2016. 1 in 33 contemplated it.


Public service took new meaning for Weights And Measures officials after hurricane Michael. Link

[Incorrect Voting] The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are now outnumbered by those who vote. “Voting for a living” are folks who have a financial  interest in the status quo, a patronage job or take advantage of a benefit program. They vote to keep their good thing in place and vote for only those things that only benefit them.
[Insurance] Has anyone else been screwed by their insurance company over claims for mold and mildew in the Keys?





Wineot this tree?

[Poor Latinos] It is a shame that the immigrants are so low class. It only proves this may make the old theory that the NWO will be the “survival of the unfit”. They cannot improve their own counties, so they will effectively harm others.
I agree enough of the murder story. Who the H cares anyway?


Caravan migrants begin to breach border as frustration with slow asylum process grows. At least two dozen Central American migrants — who claim they’re disillusioned and frustrated with the asylum-seeking process — breached the U.S.-Mexico border Monday just before dusk by scaling a 10-foot metal fence. Video

I hear the hookers in Duval Street won’t “take a knee” to as not to offend anyone. That’s true, but now they are taking up all the park benches to get the job done!
[Old World Immigration Problem Solver] Remember what the Chinese Monarchs always say, “If you do not work we let you push up rice plant!”