2018 November

Friday, November 30, 2018

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[“Enough of that murder plot of Schmitt”] So, uh, what role did you play? Are you afraid your name is going to be un-redacted in the next FOIA release? Did Ralph slip you free beef? Did he give you a management position with one of his companies? You get your own special parking place or “your own table” outside the deli or inside the Grill? Who do you want to play you in the soon-to-be-based-on-actual-events Lifetime afternoon special? The attempted murder of a prominent businessman is not something to be “let go” – it’s time to find out who knew & when – and let’s see how high up the wall of the petri-dish this climbs. When a fish stinks, it stinks from the head. It’s time to start squeezing the Marathon cabal.
[“Wheel ditch channel”] It’s so like government to overreact to one accident by permanently closing a popular channel. Do you think because the dead lady was the Governor’s aid had something to do with it?


[Wisdom] Better to have your head in the clouds than up your ass.

A woman found dead in the Marathon woods was likely strangled, Keys detectives say. Now, who is she? Link
[FKAA] Some of you received a telephone call from an attorney with FKAA putting pressure on in various ways.  We are not sure what they are targeting, but they are playing hard ball.  Our suggestion is take the call, have the discussion, agree to nothing and immediately make detailed notes of the discussion while it is fresh in your mind.  Particularly note what you were told to do and the repercussions you faced. Mainly, get something documented while it is fresh.
[Fake or Real] I was sad to see you’d listed the Mary Babnik Brown historical story as a “hoax”.   Her hair was used for the cross-hairs in the Norden Bombsite. Facebook has become unreliable in verifying anything. If there is one word of the story that is questionable, Facebook will debunk the entire story.  Mary Brown’s story can be found in the Pueblo, CO Historical site, and Wikipedia, both listed below. Link Link
[Free Drug Smugglers] A longtime Florida Keys resident imprisoned for nearly 30 years on cocaine-smuggling charges deserves to come home, says Islamorada Village Council’s newest member. Let hem go, his drugs didn’t kill hardly anyone. Link
I’m a big fan of the female, I was raised by females, all females. I have been surrounded by females all my life and they are beautiful. The most beautiful of which is a female very close to me, Meri-Lynn. This post is not only for her, it’s for for all the females. You are so special, don’t ever forget your worth. I hope you can feel the love.

“She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul. She is beautiful.”

When God created woman, he was working late on the 6th day. An angel came by and asked, “Why spend so much time on her?” The lord answered, “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her? She must function on all kinds of situations. She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time. Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart. She must do all this with only two hands. She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day.” The angel was impressed “Just two hands, impossible! And this is the standard model?” The Angel then came closer and touched the woman, “But you have made her so soft, Lord.”

“She is soft”, said the Lord, “But I have made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.”

“Can she think?”, the Angel asked. The Lord answered, “Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate.” The Angel touched her cheeks, “Lord, it seems this creation is leaking. You have put too many burdens on her.”

“She is not leaking, that is a tear”, the Lord corrected the Angel.

“What’s it for?”, asked the Angel. The Lord said, “Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.” This made a big impression on the Angel, “Lord, you are a genius. You thought of everything. A woman is indeed marvelous”

The Lord said, “Indeed she is. She has strength that amazes a man. She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions. She smiles when she feels like screaming. She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid. She fights for what she believes in. Her love is unconditional. Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life.”

The Angel asked, “So she is a perfect being?”

The lord replied, “No. She has just one drawback, she often forgets what she is worth.”

~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, down town Pine Key

Muslims want us out of the Middle East and they say they’ll stop killing us if we do. Then they say they’ll stop killing us if we convert. I still don’t get it, they kill other Muslims all the time. Actually, they kill more Muslims than us infidels. Just what do they want?
[Grocery Delivery] Publix, through its partnership with Instacart, is now offering delivery services throughout the island chain. Groceries will be selected by a personal shopper and delivered to a customer’s door in as little as one hour from any of the five Publix locations in the Keys. For orders of $35 or more, the delivery fee is just $5.99 with an optional Instacart Express membership, which enables unlimited same-day delivery on orders of $35 or more for $14.99 a month or $149 a year. There is a free trial period available. Link
“No free government can survive that is not based on the supremacy of the law. Where law ends tyranny begins. Law alone can give us freedom.”

This statement is attached on the side of the Department of Justice building.




I finally found who is stealing the bird food in the night.

[Sewers] Remember the letters supposedly from Julie Cheon a couple weeks before the judge’s ruling that the County had violated their law? And now this new attempt?  Perhaps desperate attempt to intimidate by these ” attorneys”?
I wonder if this is sanctionable. Anyway, I’m never surprised at the sleaze
[“Point system not fair”] All those point systems are designed to fool you into thinking they are the dollar equivalent. Just think airlines’ miles. One mile doesn’t equal one dollar.
[Phishing] Hello, your Profile gave me a smile, and I’m giving you one in fair exchange. How are you, I’m not good at this but I want to be part of your charming Smile. I’m Helen, I’ll love to know more about you. I hope you can give me a chance to offer you my Friendship, cus you have a very contagious smile. Hope to hear from you soon.  Have a wonderful day.
[Painter Wanted] I’m looking for a reliable house painter. 3 out of 4 painters’ phone numbers (Iguana, Michael’s Tropical, and Painting and Pressure Washing) in the home improvement section of free advertising section are no longer working numbers. (Ed: I apologize. Everyone wants a free listing in the Business Directory, but no one tells us when to remove them. I’ll remove those three today. Thank you.)

Don’t miss the ’60’s Rockerama Live Concert in Marathon, Florida Keys on December 1. Video

[Volunteer the United Way] Is your schedule flexible? Would you enjoy helping make our community more affordable for everyone? Do you want to be a superhero to some of your hard-working friends and neighbors? Become a volunteer during our upcoming VITA tax preparation season! Volunteers work as IRS certified tax prep assistants or greeters. Bilingual volunteers are needed as tax prep assistants, greeters or translators. Link




[New Book] reveals hidden history of islands. Henry Flagler’s railroad nearly came to a halt at Knight’s Key during a two-year dispute with the U.S. Navy over dirt.

Two duelists, spurred by an illicit romance, survived an 1829 exchange of pistol shots on a Key West beach. One was later gunned down from behind. Everyone in the tiny island town knew the killer, yet the case never went to trial. Link

[Phone calls from FKAA and Sewer Hearing] Is it even a real attorney calling? Next it will be Vinny the leg buster calling?  I suppose that if you are above the law, there are no bounds to your potential sleaze.
[Puck U] Oakland University using hockey pucks to protect against active shooters. The university’s faculty union has purchased 2,500 hockey pucks. Link


[Lobster Delivery] Minimum order for delivery is a bag of six lobster tails, at $8 per tail. Fresh live lobster are sold by weight at $9 a pound. Nichols Seafood Suppliers now will deliver a tag of separated lobster tails or live whole lobster to residents in an 11-mile stretch from Conch Key to Lower Matecumbe Key.

“It’s a fairly small delivery area, but it’s working out pretty well,” said company founder Gary Nichols, whose family has been in the Florida Keys lobster and stone-crab business for 45 years. “Every lobster we sell, we caught” on one of the firm’s three trap boats, he said. “It’s not coming out of a box from Colombia or someplace else.”

[DNA] The Chinese scientist who modified the DNA of babies should be shot because he used DNA from Bette Midler and Schummer.



I’ve never seen a truck with two doors opening to the bed until now. Did he make it?

Being outraged by everything people say on social media must be exhausting.
The divorce rate of couples working together is 82%, 5 times the national average.

[Dust] “You are dust, and you will return dust.” That’s why I do not dust, it could be someone I know!

[Reckless Driver] Anyone have a total number of accidents that occurred at the traffic light at Sugarloaf school? Well, add one more — a police car! It plowed into the back of a pickup truck Tuesday.
[Friday Joke] You will not believe what just happened! I walked into Tom Thumb’s to get a drink. When I walked in I noticed these 2 police officers watching some guy who was smoking while pumping gas. I saw him and thought, “This guy didn’t have any common sense and was he crazy, with the cops right there too! But anyway, I went in and got my drink. As I was checking out, I heard someone screaming. I looked outside and the dude’s arm was on fire. He was swinging his arm and running around going crazy. I ran outside and the cops had put him on the ground and were putting the fire out with their coffees. Yes, their coffees. Then they put handcuffs on him and threw him in the police car. I was thinking, “He shouldn’t have been smoking near the pump while getting gas.” But being the nosey person that I am, I asked the cops what they were arresting him for. The cop looked me dead in my eyes and said. “Waving a firearm!”


Do you know of any ongoing card playing groups in the area that welcome new members? We are specifically interested in Euchre but would entertain other games. Thank you, Sherry

[Good Fishing] Hurricane winds were key in cleaning out Florida Bay. Fishing community enjoying results. Link
The future is almost here. It’s both scary and exciting. Link



[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

The anti-global warming people in the Keys are probably chemical and oil company stock holders or conservative zealots.