2018 February

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsPublished Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.​ Since 0202.​

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[Murder/Suicide on the Avenues] We have experienced a tragedy here in the Keys. For those who are stunned by what has happened to Les and Arlene please accept my thoughts as a possible explanation bearing in mind that what I know is not the whole story. Les and Arlene are among the kindest, nicest people I have ever known. They were my friends and neighbors for many years. We socialized together on a regular basis. Les kept his sailboat on my dock and we were regular sailing buddies. This past year we began playing guitar together; Les, Arlene and me. My wife and I spent this past Saturday with them and mutual friends when we enjoyed a wonderful evening of music, dinner and conversation. There was no indication of what was to come!
Les and Arlene loved each other and were devoted to each other. Some years ago Arlene developed a medical condition in the nerves of her face and brain. It was very painful and debilitating. They tried many medical treatments but none were totally successful. I do not know the name for her condition, but I remember the suffering in Arlene’s face when she was having an incident and the suffering in Les’ face when he and I discussed Arlene’s pain. I also know that stress aggravated the condition. Dealing with Arlene’s health was unbelievably hard for them already, but then came Irma.Irma destroyed their beautiful home. They had just redone their guest bath and completely remodeled the kitchen. Their house and yard were beautiful, and they reveled in what they had built. Their house and yard were the showplace of our neighborhood. They were fully insured but Irma took everything. Then the games began; clean up; more clean up; “Red Tags” and property condemnation. The insurance company refused to pay or pay in full. Is it wind or is it flood? The insurance company refused to honor the condemnation. No government entity at the county or state came to their aid. The officials said, “Get a lawyer… get an adjuster…”How is it when the county condemns your home the insurance company gets to refuse to pay the full amount of coverage? Well, what does one do when you have no place live? no place go? You work here. You live here. This is your home. Arlene was born and raised here. Imagine the stress. Imagine the impact on Arlene with her condition. Can you imagine her pain? Les was living with it and was helpless to alleviate the suffering. What do you do?

When we parted with them last Saturday they were holding together and looked strong. We were going to play guitar together this week. Les and I were going to play at the open mike night at Boondocks some coming Monday. They had hope for the future, but they were fighting a frustrating, endless battle with the insurance companies and local government. They attended a county meeting regarding Irma Wednesday evening. I do not know what they experienced there but I am aware of the mistreatment they had been subjected to by their insurance company and our government officials. If events at that meeting triggered another flare up of Arlene’s condition and if they were left in a position of hopelessness and desperation with respect to their home, then you can imagine how the tragedy of that night evolved.

Pray for them. Pray for those like them. They are not the only ones. They will both be missed. My wife and I are simply numb, but I am also angry because I personally hold accountable the insurance companies and state and local government for their role in this awful tragedy.

The sad thing is this will only get the attention of those of us who will pass this along to one another. The news outlets and our local government, along with the insurance companies, will simply ignore it as speculation and sweep this under the rug. So many people are hurting and in need of assistance, reassurance, and a knowing that there is hope for the future. I weep for those that are caught in the middle of this tragedy made worse by the entities set up to help protect us. For shame! ~Eric M Dohogne

[“Flood lights”] I had a similar problem when a renter across the canal changed the original yellow bulbs to super bright ones and left them on all night long – stopping us from using our outside porch at night. I read up on the codes and found there was a rule that stated how bright the watts could be. I also contacted the real owner who was a great neighbor (he only rented his house out for prime winter months) and he took care of it. He was afraid to have Code Enforcement come by to check out the wattage as who knew what else Code Enforcement would find. So sometimes just mentioning Code Enforcement can solve the problem, but check out the rules on the Monroe County Codes website. Good luck.

[Breakfast] Bucktooth Rooster Restaurant will begin Breakfast Service this Saturday February 17th and Sundays open 8:15 am till Lunch at 11:00 am. Chef JR has joined our experienced kitchen staff and will preparing an ever-changing menu weekly!

[“Artist Should Be Farmers”] That was the most ignorant post I’ve seen in a while. The writer has no taste nor imagination so he tries to negate the peoples’ lives who do.
BOAT: Bust Out Another Thousand
Back To The Future and Dickens’ A Christmas Carol both show what the future would be like if certain things weren’t done. If Scrooge had a flux capacitor things might have been different.

[Debris] Monroe County welcomes groups that want to do community cleanups of areas that big equipment couldn’t reach following Hurricane Irma. Monroe County also wants to support these cleanup efforts. If you are planning a community cleanup in unincorporated Monroe County and need Monroe County public works’ support for pickup of the collected debris or disposal at a County transfer station, please contact Monroe County Solid Waste at least a week in advance of the cleanup at 305-292-4536 to schedule. (Ed: Is it free?)

Puddles the Clown covers the Who’s ‘Pinball Wizard’ with a Johnny Cash style. Clowns don’t exactly have it easy these days. Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus is closing down next month after 146 years. Link




[Camel Eggs] In late March, the camels come ashore to lay their eggs.

The FTR guy is awfully mute on the tax cuts and over-spending in the new budget of his fellow “conservatives”. We haven’t seen extravagant spending like this since Imelda Marcos went shopping for shoes.
[Why Tourist Traps] Many of us fell in love with the Keys back in the day. Back in the day you came down, visited us, ate food prepared by locals using recipes passed from one generation to another. You ate, you drank, you paid, you puked from too much drinking, you went home, and you came back again.

Today, you’re retired, living the dream you had 30 years ago, yet you miss the best part of what the Keys had–locals. Sadly, Boondocks is not owned by locals. Yes, I know the owners live here, I know they are super community oriented and I know them personally. They came here from PA, built and created a perfect place in a tourist’s mind, the tiki they always dreamed of. They have a business model that has been successful. The staff is trained, the food is edible but it’s not local. They have to charge what they charge in order to maintain the facade and pay the help. What you experienced at Boondocks is the same business model you experience everywhere. It’s the restaurant business. It’s built on creating a product that brings in customers, turns tables and stools that create a profit, not local caught seafood, homemade key lime pies, cold beer and owner conversation. I remember when No Name Pub had a pool table, they replaced it with dining tables that turn more money per hour than the dollar games of pool do.
When you walk in to most places in the Keys today you’re supporting a transplant, like yourself, who escaped the sheethole state you lived in to come to the paradise you discovered on vacation.

For the record, Overseas Lounge, Kiki’s, Looe Key, Tonio’s, the Italian place on Cudjoe, Mangrove Mamas, Fish, Hurricane Hole, Bobalu’s and most of the eateries in KW are owned by transplants. They came, they saw, they bought or rented space and brought their dream to reality, owning a place in the sun. And that costs bucks! Profits come from alcohol, not cheap food. Be thankful you have a tourist trap to go to, because that’s all that’s left. Anyone trying to make it on the old school Keys model will have a tough go of it. Gone are the days drinkers who liked to dive, fish, shrimp, lobster or crab for a living and knew how to make ends meet in the slow season. Gone is the slow season, too and so am I.


The Port Pine Heights Community Yard Sale is next Saturday.  If you are participating, please post a sign at the top of your street to notify the prospective buyers. Also see pig roast flyer. Pig-Roast-PPHPOA–2-24-2018

Be careful when fighting monsters lest you become one.
I asked my wife if she would like a diamond necklace for her birthday.  She said, “Nothing would make me happier.”  So, I got her nothing.  That’s when the fight started


[Online Love] Ever wonder who you are really typing to on those dating websites?

[16th Century Florida] We found mosquitos of three sorts, and all of them abundant in every part of the country. They poison and inflame, and during the greater part of the summer gave us great annoyance. As a protection we made fires, encircling the people with them, burning rotten and wet wood to produce smoke without flame. The remedy brought another trouble, and the night long we did little else than shed tears from the smoke that came into our eyes, besides feeling intense heat from the many fires. I can state there is no torment known in this world that can equal it.

The Indians of the interior have a different method, as intolerable, and worse even than the one I have spoken of, which is to go with brands in the hand firing the plains and forests within their reach, that the mosquitos may fly away, and at the same time to drive out lizards and other like things from the earth for the Indians to eat.

[The Blue Paper] Good bye muckraking yellow journalist. I guess when all you got is constant bashing of our fine police officers for doing a job well done and race baiting, it’s really hard to get people to pay for that crap. The bluepaper will not be missed. It was horrible divisive dribble. Maybe they should go live on that island of debauchery they defend all the time?
I wish the Olympics were like they were back in the old Greek days when men were men and women were servants and all the sports were hard core not the sissy stuff we see today. Curling?
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. ~Helen Keller



19-year-old Lieutenant Edwin Wright looks upon his P-47 airplane after being hit by an 88 mm shell, over the city of Munster, Germany in 1944 (and today’s 19 year-olds are eating Tide Pods).

[“George W”] Definitely was the idiot a village lost, he had HW’s (Daddy) cronies to tell him what to do.  The Mid East “wars” were planned back in late 70’s or early 80’s
[“Boat damage”] “Hurricane Irma damaged or destroyed 50,000 vessels with about $500,000,000 in recreational boat damage.” Are you kidding me? Where do you people get these stats? 1/2 a billion in boat damage is BS.
[Terry Cassidy’s Island Grass Music Fest to benefit Habitat for Humanity] Habitat for Humanity of Key West and Lower Florida Keys will be the beneficiaries of the 19th annual Terry Cassidy’s Island Grass Music Festival on Sunday, February 25th from 1:00 – 6:00 pm at Boondock’s Grill and Draft House on Ramrod Key.  Come out and enjoy the music of fan favorites Yvan and Rolando, Billy Bones, the Pat McCune Band, Howard Livingston and of course, Terry Cassidy and Friends.

The event will include a great silent auction, raffles, prizes and loads of fun.  It will also feature Boondock’s famous brunch served until 2:00.  This is free and all proceeds from raffles and auction will benefit the Habitat Hammers Back hurricane recovery efforts and affordable housing projects in the lower keys.  Please contact info@HabitatLowerKeys for more information.

Konk News: if my memory serves me correctly, Russians were always consider “Commies.”
[Me Too Movement] This is sick, and the lawyers are as much to blame as the woman. There will be a backlash movement and that will start a war between the sexes, the bents, and the do-it-yourselfers! Maybe that is what this planet needs. It surely will cut down the overbreeding.
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