2016 February

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

bus school kids[Some of our not-so-friendly visitors] About 3 weeks ago while driving a school bus with children from kindergarten to eighth grade on the last bend in the road before the No Name Pub, a car full of tourists were stopped in the road, blocking it, while looking at a deer. After about 45 seconds the car in front of my bus blew their horn and the tourist flipped the car off, but did not move. After another 10 seconds, I did the same, getting the same result. When he finally pulled into the Pub’s parking lot he jumped out of his car and started screaming at me while extending double ‘fingers’ which all the children saw. I slowed down to get his license plate. He then ran out on the road calling me to come back–now he wanted to fight. I then called 911, but never heard if they got him or not.
[1780 America] The Cowboys were a set of people, mostly if not wholly refugees, belonging to the British side, and engaged in plundering cattle near the lines and driving them to New York. The name indicates their vocation. There was another description of banditti, called Skinners, who lived for the most part within the American lines, and professed attachment to the American cause; but in reality they were more unprincipled, perfidious, and inhuman, than the Cowboys themselves; for these latter exhibited some symptoms of fellow-feeling for their friends, whereas the Skinners committed their depredations equally upon friends and foes.

The Skinners and Cow-boys often leagued together. The former would sell their plunder to the latter, taking in exchange contraband articles brought from New York. It was not uncommon for the farce of a skirmish to be acted near the American lines, in which the Skinners never failed to come off victorious; and then they would go boldly to the interior with their booty, pretending it had been captured from the enemy, while attempting to smuggle it across the lines.

impaled[Impaled By Mangrove] Officer Plussa and Investigator Cox were participating in an inter-agency operation in Key Largo when a call came out that there was a boating accident near Indian Key Fill.   The 911 call indicated that a male and his two sons had been ejected from a local fishing guide boat when it ran into a mangrove island. The sons had only minor injuries.  The ejected adult male was impaled in the abdomen by the mangroves.  All injured parties were taken to land by witnesses who were close to the scene when the accident occurred.  Officer Plussa, Investigator Cox and Lieutenant Haney arrived by land and assisted EMS with the patients. The adult male was airlifted by Monroe County Fire Rescue Trauma Star helicopter to a hospital in Dade County. The juveniles were taken by EMS to a local hospital for treatment and to await another guardian while in the care of EMS.  Lieutenant Haney proceeded to interview witnesses on land while Officer Plussa and Investigator Cox proceeded to a nearby FWC patrol boat to respond to the accident scene. US coast guard personnel and national park rangers were already on-scene with the vessel and operator when Officers Plussa and Cox arrived. Due to the accident occurring within the Everglades National Park boundary, park rangers on-scene assumed jurisdiction and control of the investigation at the ranger’s request.
The world is not full of a**holes, but they are strategy placed so that you’ll come across one every day.
tin foil hat caution[Conspiracy Man] Ever since the beginning of the 20th century, every U.S. president has made comments of a secret and powerful group that hide in the shadows. From Teddy Roosevelt to JFK, they all mentioned a powerful group that actually controls our government. They control all major corporate decisions and which country becomes a friend or foe. They have complete influence over stock markets. Woodrow Wilson spoke about this after his term as president and commented on how naïve he was when he first began his service as president, allowing himself to be fooled into passing the Federal Reserve Act. “It’s the biggest regret in my life as to how I sold out our citizens.” FDR also mentioned this group several times in his speeches. Harry Truman made the same references. Dwight Eisenhower’s famous presidential farewell address made it clear how the “Military Industrial Complex”, if unchecked by the American citizens, will become so powerful that it will select U.S. leaders and control all aspects of our government. Two weeks before JFK was assassinated he gave a speech on how intelligence agencies have been influenced by greater, unknown, powerful men, who would control the selection of U.S. leaders; and how he would expose the people behind this threat. Two weeks later JFK was killed.

No president after JFK has ever mentioned this secret group again. They now refer to the New World Order, and the New American 21st century. These unknown men have acquired great economical wealth beginning with the implementation of the Federal Reserve Act. From there they implemented the IMF and WBO. They are a global economic power. They have no loyalty to any nation. Their loyalty is only to wealth, no matter how they obtain it. They purchase and sell countries they “own” because of their debt, as if it were a Monopoly game. They eliminated the American gold standard, and converted it into petro dollars, forcing OPEC to purchase and sell oil only for U.S. petro dollars. When Saddam Hussein decided to no longer deal with petro dollars, but instead use his Iraq gold based Dinar, “W” used 9/11 as an excuse to invade Iraq. The same occurred with Mubarak in Egypt, and Kaddafi in Libya. They were taken out of power for interfering with, and causing a possible threat of economic change towards these unknown men. The same is now occurring in Syria and Iran.

The invasion of Afghanistan had very little to do with the Taliban. In fact, it had to do with competing against China in the global distribution of opium and heroin. Since the invasion Afghanistan now exports 98% of the worlds heroin. This forced China to develop the new synthetic drugs on the streets today. Undetectable and cheaper in price. The biggest threat to this secret government is exposure. They control and manipulate the media into deceiving us with untruths. They will never allow us to elect the right man for the people as President. Instead they select their puppet, and let us believe that we elected him or her. This is where I think the truth lies.

water faucet spigot kitchen

What is the most important item you own? You can live without a Fridge, AC, Car, Windows, a Bed, Clothes, Furniture, but you will only last 3 to 4 days without your water spigot. Your toilet is the second most important thing.

[Crooks] “Past my limits of internet use” Comcast’s December bill was $158.26, January’s bill was $163.96, February’s bill is $197.45. They say I use too much internet. I’ve had Comcast for 5 years and have not changed my internet use at all. I complained to Florida Consumer Protection and they passed it on to Comcast who contacted me and merely read me my bill. Yeh, that was really helpful (sarcasm).


I read that the hungry serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer‘s house is for sale and no one is interested. I get it — who would want to live in Ohio?

[Memory Lane] I used to love the subs that were sold from the small sub shop next to the Green Parrot Bar. You could get 3 shots of tequila on Wednesdays for a buck. We would get smashed early and eat lunch next door. I spent my first night in Key West arm wrestling Marines from the naval base at the Gate Bar, a strip club down the street from the parrot. What great memories. I worked at the Pier House in the kitchen along with my two buddies from Detroit who hitched hiked down together. I had experience so I hitchhiked alone. We spent our first day looking for jobs and a place to live, but since we didn’t have our police ID’s we were having no luck. Just as we were heading out of town to head up to St. Pete, we ran into two buddies from Westland MI, out walking their dog. Mike Castle and Dave Killenbeck. Dave got us jobs at the Pier House and I stayed for 2 years. Mike Wiegand stayed for 30 years. Amazing. He is now in Maui I’ve been in Detroit since getting the future ex-wife pregos, but I have missed Key West ever since.
Are there any cases of the Zika virus in the Lower Keys and Key West yet? (Ed: No.)
old dino walker[Arthur Ritis] Deer Reader who suggested flaxseed oil supplements, thank you so much!  This helps the pain go away.  I take one with each meal twice a day.  Giving them to my arthritic dog as well. Here are other things which bring relief from arthritis:   Hot Epsom salt baths, hot paraffin wax dip, shrimp cocktail sauce with 4 big scoops of horseradish and Key West pinks. Horseradish has medicinal purposes.  1000 mg flaxseed oil – 2 with meals. SAM-E 400 mg – A.M. on empty stomach.  2 glucosamine. 2 turmeric. Weed – once in a while.  Helps with sleep and pain.  Cannot use it much since it makes me eat uncontrollably.   Better to be thin with arthritis than overweight.  It hurts more when the munchies add on 5 pounds. Women’s shoes.  Anything by Fit Flops and Gentle Souls. Some of us cannot wear high heels anymore due to arthritis.  These shoes feel good to wear and are pricey but worth it.  They make men’s shoes too.
[Medical Marijuana] A poster was complaining that people should take chemical drugs instead of Nature’s marijuana. The side effect of drugs is often awful. The side effects of marijuana is that you laugh or get hungry.
caffine coffee molecules[Caffeine] You most likely know caffeine as the substance that gives you a boost in your morning cup of coffee (or, perhaps if it doesn’t sit well with you, gives you a bad case of the jitters). The fact that caffeine does anything at all to the human body is merely a curious biological coincidence, however, and caffeine’s role in the natural world is that of a pesticide.

You read that correctly: although caffeine is the most widely consumed psychoactive drug in the world, it isn’t a pick-me-up for plants like it is for humans and, in fact, exists in plants to ward off predators. Although most closely associated with coffee plants, caffeine is present in approximately sixty plants including the leaves of the tea bush, kola nuts, yaupon holly leaves, and seeds from Amazonian maple guarana berries. While the substance acts as a stimulate in humans, in insects it causes paralysis and even death and functions as an effective pesticide for the diverse number of temperate climate plants around the world that produce it.

On a related note, another widely consumed drug is also a pesticide (insecticide): nicotine. The active ingredient in cigarettes is used by tobacco plants as a pesticide just like caffeine. Historically, nicotine was even sold in powdered form for use in farming, but is no longer on the market due to toxicity concerns.

[Medical Marijuana] Glaucoma Patients: False Notions of Pot Treatment. And trend toward legalization of marijuana only fuels misconceptions. Link
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[“Stopped in middle of road”] Thank goodness someone had the good sense to send in a realistic reply about the tourist who had stopped their car in the road to take a picture of Key deer. I live here full time and work in the tourism industry. My livelihood is dependent upon visitors who come here. However, if I saw any of my guests blocking the road, I’d be the first one out of my car to discuss the need to move along. It’s illegal and inappropriate to stop a vehicle for non-emergency reasons in the middle of the road. It’s a hazard to people and wildlife as well. I’m far beyond frustrated at people stopping constantly on my own road, in the center of the street, feeding the deer Pringles or whatever else they have on hand so they can get a photo. I’ve been cursed at, flipped off, ignored, apologized to, and whatever else you can imagine. I do my best to be as kind as possible, but I admit sometimes it’s gotten heated, and I’ve had to resort to threats of getting enforcement involved. I cannot imagine it being acceptable any place else to just stop any vehicle in the middle of the street like that, let alone to involve an endangered species in the mix. When people “wave” me around, I have actually gotten out of my car and walked up to them to explain, instead of just driving around the shenanigans. I wish there was more enforcement and education on the part of the Refuge. People need to just stop this nonsense, it’s ridiculous.
casspit-marathon[Cesspits] FKAA finally connected the Marathon Customer Service Center and the adjacent emergency water desalination plant to Marathon’s central vacuum sewer system. They told FKAA employees that they had abandoned a septic tank, but what they abandoned sure looks like a concrete cess pit (bottomless septic tank) to me. Notice that the tank is almost but not completely empty, there are no baffles or equivalent, the most distant pipe enters near the top of the tank, and pipes come from different directions at different elevations. This was common practice back when these were put in. The FKAA Tavernier Customer Service Center also had a bottomless concrete tank. Over 5 years after availability of central sewers to abandon the first of their Marathon cess pits. Don’t be in a real big hurry to connect, folks.
Antelope vs Cheetah. Who’s the fastest? Video



[Blue Angles] April 2 & 3 at Boca Chica Air Field NAS. Key West’s southernmost air spectacle. Link

[Conspiracy] With all of the recent and unfortunate deaths of famous rock musicians, I thought the public at large were just death mongering. Sadly, I have to say. Paul McCartney is dead. R.I. P.  Goo goo ga joo. Link
Our Port Pine Heights Community Garage Sale is this Saturday, February 27 from 9 am to 3 pm. There are a lot of streets in PPH so we encourage those that are having a garage sale to put up a sign at the beginning their street.  This will avoid traffic problems on other streets that are not involved and the customer will appreciate it too. Good luck with your sales!
trike-bike[Noise Pollution] I guess the Harley riders figured they weren’t loud enough-now they have radios that blast out louder than the freakin’ bikes. The “look at me” boys have gotten even more annoying. Whatever happened to the quiet and serenity of the Florida Keys?  These macho clowns should move to Detroit or Chicago where they’ll be appreciated.
I’m looking for cheap car. Got one for sale?


Tourist help.

Refugees are often erroneously labeled migrants when in fact they’re refugees. Migrants are people who plan to relocate, with family if appropriate, to a specific country for a specific reason. Go to that countries’ legation and applies for migration status. These masses of people are running away with no plan or direction. They are in mob panic, there is no conscious plan to migrate just escape. During the last armed conflicts in the 20th century there are countless examples if peoples in refugee status and what is happening now in the Middle East is not migration. These people are refugees and should be encamped as such. If any of these refugees in their camps request to migrate, go to the camp administration and put in their applications as individuals. In history going back tens of thousands of years these mass migration out of Africa were actually invasions of neighboring territories. The mass migrations from Central Asia/Southern Siberia were actually invasions of the Caucasus, Balkans, and Central Europe. Those peoples, the Huns, Magyar, Scythians, form a large part of the population of Europe now. Personally I don’t look at what is happening in Europe now is peaceful migration, but a precursor to Invasion by Islam. Lest we forget history, in 711 Islam invaded Europe and ruled for 800 years. Islamic leaders have proclaimed their goal of world-wide Islam.
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[Valor] You have to be 17 to enlist in the military. While it is well known that people younger than 17 served in WWII and other wars) I am going to use 17 as a base. The war ended in 1945 and this is 2016. That means the youngest surviving WWII veteran is 88. Keep that in mind when you watch the video.
back-hoe-bridge[“$30,000 damage done to 7 Mile Bridge”] Who left the keys in the back hoe that was commandeered. Someone is responsible. To date I have not seen or heard any info. Must we, the tax payers, always be the fall guy? I sure hope there is a big change in the wind with our government, from the top down. In the real word actions have consequences. If nothing changes, nothing changes.  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store.
Zika virus information for travelers. Link


The term redneck is so offensive. People, they are called “NASCAR-Americans”

[Worst Meal of My Life] I haven’t eaten junk food for a couple of years, but Saturday I was in my cups in Marathon and thought some food would perk me up for the drive back to Big Pine. I stopped at Burger King. What a mistake. I ordered all their specials. Jalapeño Chicken Fries, Snickers Pie, Extra Long fish sandwich, and because they were all so terrible, a Whopper. There was no food there just other stuff. I couldn’t believe it. It was beaucoup calories, saturated fat, 17% meat, and artificial chemicals. The chicken fries were breaded mush with little bits of, what looked like, chicken. The extra-long fish. What ‘extra’ long? It was like breaded wet pulp. It was a quarter inch thick with twice that amount of breading and not long enough to be called “extra” and the bread was awful—I threw the whole thing away. Next time I’ll risk a DUI arrest before stooping to that level of food. No wonder Americans are so fat.
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Trust the vibes you get, energy doesn’t lie.

[Walls] The wall surrounding the Vatican was built to keep out Muslims in 847. Pope Leo built the walls in order to protect the city against the encroachment of “Saracens”, an early term for the Arab Muslims who were hell bent on the conquest of Christian Europe. In 846, a year before the start of Pope Leo IV’s reign, the Saracens attacked the outskirts of Rome. The Muslim raiders targeted the Basilicas of St. Peter and St. Paul, which were located outside of the massive walls that defended Rome itself. The Saracens looted the two churches, robbing them of their relics and desecrating the tombs of two of Christendom’s most revered saints. Muslims have always been a problem for everyone else.
booze devil drinking


[Express Lane to Drunksville] Mixing alcohol with diet soda gets you 18% more drunk than mixing it with regular soda. It also gets you drunk faster, because your body doesn’t recognize aspartame as food and the alcohol gets absorbed more quickly.

[Generic Medicine] Coricidin was suggested as her doctor recommended best medicine to alleviate coughing. So, I bought a $7.29 box of 20 soft-gels (each soft gel contains Dextromethorphan hydrobromide 10 mg — cough suppressant, Guaifenesin 200 mg –expectorant) Adult dosage is 1 or 2 soft gels every 4 hours. I checked my $1 bottle of Health A2Z Mucus Relief DM from the Dollar Tree (10 tablets) Those ingredients are Dextromethorphan HBr 20mg — cough suppressant,  Guaifenesin 400 mg — expectorant. It’s made by Allegiant Health, Deer Park, NY 11729 fresh till 05/18. If it makes you feel better to spend more, you have lots of opportunities.  This medication is the same!
I’ve got a great idea for my septic tank and the FKAA should love it too. I will clean it and use it to raise tilapia, crabs, lobster and flounder. How’s that? Can I get a Fed grant to subsidize it?


When is the US going to change over to the metric system like the rest of the world uses? Link

[“Has anyone set up a list of sewer connection installers for the Keys”] I believe that all plumbers are doing the sewer work. 3d Generation Plumbers are the most professional from what I hear.
[Man Sex Revealed] Wham, bam, thank you mam! That’s me. I only have one goal with woman–orgasm. That’s it. I don’t cuddle or like foreplay. And I don’t want second dates. I know I’m a Neanderthal. I like to talk to them, but when sex time comes around I just want an orgasm. The foreplay does me no good.
red nose smell


Have you ever noticed how a smell can take you back to a time and place.

[Booze] I saw a guy on TV mix Drambuie, Scotch and simple syrup. Is that call an Old Fashion or a Cosmos?
When did adults stop wearing pajamas?
wine expert



Men who drink wine is so “city”.

What is the difference between genes and chromosomes? They both determine who we are.
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[Code of Bushido] Only by facing death can one really know what it is to live.
rich woman palms gold


A very wealthy woman told me that you can have friends or money, but not both.

[Fresh Fish Ha Ha Ha] I was asked by a couple of tourists if I lived here and where they could go for the best fresh seafood in Key West. I politely told them there wasn’t any place with fresh caught seafood, but directed them to my favorite watering hole and eatery on Front Street. Hope they enjoyed it. Fresh seafood indeed! Ha.
Do you ever wonder why eye doctors wear glasses and not contact lens or get their eyes surgically corrected? They want you to do all that for lots of money!

[Hide a Key] I got one of those magnetic key boxed for my husband who’s always losing his car keys, but there’s nothing metal on his car where he can stick the little box. Everything’s plastic. Where can he hide the key?

I just went shopping in Key West and will never shop there again except for food. The prices of clothes and home parts are nuts. I can order the same things online, save tax, save gas, and get is in a day or two, and get a better selection. Screw the greedy bastard merchants in the Keys!
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What’s happening with that dome home in Cudjoe Gardens is it done yet? Is it for sale? Are they ashamed of it yet?

Junk mail makes me laugh to think some feeble minded people actually buy stuff from such obnoxious sellers.
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How do you find the ‘back door’ in your computer’s operating system? Link

Ever notice many of the super rich are either huge retailers, super entertainers, mega sports persons, or work for the government? What is wrong with this picture?
running jogging man[5K Race] FAVOR Florida Keys announces the 2nd annual “Run with Deer” 5K run/walk on Big Pine Key – Saturday, March 19th, 2016.  The race starts and ends at Big Pine Community Park on Sands Rd.  The event is co-sponsored by the Southernmost Runners Club and is part of the first ever Florida Keys Wildlife Refuges “Outdoor Fest”.   This 5K race weaves through rural roads located within the National Key Deer Refuge on Big Pine Key and travels through imperiled pine rockland and wetland habitats.  Fresh air and natural landscapes highlight this course route!  You’ll probably see Key deer and other wildlife in your travels.  Proceeds from the race benefit FAVOR Florida Keys- the Refuges’ friends group, and will be used to help support kids junior ranger and summer programs, habitat restoration, education and outreach, trash cleanups, and many other projects in the four Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges.

Packet Pick up & Pre-Registration: Friday March 18th 5-7pm National Key Deer Refuge Visitor Center, Big Pine Key.  Race Day Packet Pickup & Registration: Saturday March 19th 7am Big Pine Community Park – Sands Road, Big Pine Key.  Save Money – Register Early! 14 & over: $20 – $25 Race Day 13 & under: $10 – $15 Race Day. Children under 5 Free (with parent) Free Race T-shirt for Early Registration.  Race starts at 8am.

An awards ceremony at the Park will immediately follow the race.  Runners are invited to stay and enjoy our family-friendly Outdoor & Wildlife Fair that will be going on at the park from 10am-2pm.  Two dozen exhibitors from our local non-profit and environmental organizations will be there as well as awesome music, fun activities, face-painting, classes for geocaching, tying knots and splices, photography, and much more.  Plan to make a day of it!

To register online:, or pick up a registration form at the National Key Deer Visitor Center on Big Pine Key.  For more information, or call Nancy 305-731-6362.  The Florida Keys Wildlife Refuges Outdoor Fest is brought to you in part by the Monroe County Tourist Development Council.

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Cudjoe Gardens March Madness Yard Sale will be on 5 March, starting at 8 AM

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