2019 January

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Lose Dogs] I just read the article in last week’s CT about the wayward dog at the Moose Tiki Hut.  I too am frustrated at the many irresponsible dog owners here in the Keys, which this jerk clearly is.  It is absolutely ridiculous that people find it necessary to bring their dogs with them everywhere.  Are they that insecure?  Obviously.

Many people are allergic to dog hair, frightened by dogs in general, or just plain don’t like dogs.  Unfortunately the people who can’t move without their dog being attached to them like an infant (which they are not) just don’t care abpout other people.  I’ve seen so many of these inconsiderate dog owners blatantly disregard “No Dogs Allowed” signs, “Service Dogs Only” signs and actually break the law and violate health codes by bringing their dog into grocery stores; some even placing the mutt in the shopping carts where our food goes – gross and unsanitary.  Your dog’s ass is contaminating the food for God’s sake.  Again, they don’t care.  I’ve also seen dog owners who have constructed their own “service dog” signs here on Big Pine, illegally passing them off as such.  What’s next, pet monkeys at the bar?  Snakes in restaurants?  Pet pigs in the grocery?  Have some class and at least a little consideration when subjecting your beloved pet and its dander, bark and dirty ass to everyone else.  Keep the dog in a cage next to you, it will still be with you without exposing it to others

[“Price gouging gas’s negative effect”] Very interesting post. I never thought of the affect the high gas prices in BPK have on local business. Looking at the past credit card statements for my family I can guarantee we have not bought any gas, food, clothing, hardware or gone out to dinner on BPK for a long time and we live here full time. I also buy my boat gas in Marathon and that adds another 100+ gallons per month. Looking at our purchasing patterns we routinely spend over $1000 per month at local establishments out of the BPK area. When we go to buy gas we look for cheaper gas and combine those trips with other shopping or entertainment in one trip. I don’t know how many families do the same. If you add it all up I’ll bet it’s a large amount the local merchants lose out on.



[Winn Dixie] Weekly ad. Link

[Depression Cure] Spray the blues away! A nasal spray could bring relief to the millions of people who suffer from depression. Janssen Pharmaceutical researchers recently released a study that indicated a spray called esketamine had alleviated symptoms faster than oral antidepressants when tested on older patients with persistent depression. The FDA is reviewing the spray and is fast-tracking it through the approval process.
Situation comedies are for the weak of brain. Any program that has to used recorded laughter to let the viewers know when to laugh is for the lame among us.


[White] I tried to replace my worn kitchen spatulas on Amazon. They don’t have any! I can get them in any size, shape or color, but white. That’s the first time Amazon didn’t have what I wanted. What happened to white?

[Government Shut Down Aid] Recognizing this emerging need, the UWFK Board of Directors recently voted to provide $10,000 to assist with emergency short-term financial assistance through two of their partner agencies.  In addition, the Board authorized an additional $5,000 if the shut down continues through February 1. We have revised last week’s press release slightly, to include this new information. Press Release Nonprofits to Assist Federal Employees Jan 2019 v2
[Great Movie Lines] Admirer to Steve Austin, tough guy, “Where’s you learn to fight like that?
Steve Austin, “From fightin’.”



[Name That Skull] I thought this was a vulture’s head but I don’t think they have teeth. What could it be. I found it on Big Pine. It’s not an opossum, raccoon, deer or anything I find locally. It is about a foot long.

[Indian Standoff] Native American leader of Michigan: ‘Mob mentality’ in students was ‘scary’. In an interview with the Detroit Free Press, Native American leader Nathan Phillips of Ypsilanti describes incident with students caught on video. Great story, a lot different than the one you probably heard on the news. This Native American/Vietnam veteran, broke up the tension between the 2 groups. Thank you Nathan Phillips! Link
[KW Mayors Ball] The totals are in, and last weekend’s Mayors Ball held at Casa Marina Resort broke all records, grossing over $100,000 to help at-risk children in Monroe County. Over 300 locals participated in the 17th annual black tie benefit for the Florida Keys Children’s Shelter including state representative Holly Raschein, county commissioner Michelle Coldiron, Key West mayor Teri Johnston, and City of Layton mayor Bruce Halle.

The primary underwriter of the event was Ocean Sotheby’s International Realty, a boutique real estate firm with offices from Ocean Reef to Key West. Centennial Bank, Fury Water Adventures Key West, Judy Girard, Lower Keys Medical Center, and Meisel Holdings were also major sponsors.

Florida Keys Children’s Shelter serves over 500 at-risk youth in Monroe County annually, providing free housing, food, counseling, and preventative training.

[Alternative to Comcast] After watching a million ads for SnapTV I thought I’d give it a try, but their website doesn’t even tell you what it is! They want you to phone a salesman. Yeah, right.


[Haircuts] I remember when haircuts were eighty-five cents plus a fifteen cent tip. But they were never like this! Video

When you say blizzard in Florida we think Dairy Queen.





[Sharks] I don’t understand how people get eaten by sharks. Don’t they hear the music? … Duh-nuh, duh-nuh, duh-nuh, duh-nuh nah nuh, duh-nuh duh-nuh nah nuuuhhh

[Free Gasoline] Death toll in mexico blast rises to 79 due to fuel theft. Thiefs punctured a pressurized pipeline sending fuel shooting fifty feet in the air. Then they stood under it trying to catch the gasoline. Then boom. Stupido. Video



Sunday was a windy day all over the country, especially down here.

[Crooks] Postal Service’s Informed Delivery system could be used to steal your mail. The United States Post Office took a leap into the digital age last year with a service called Informed Delivery, which sends people an email with a preview of what’s coming in that day’s mail. But some criminals have figured out how to take advantage of the digital notification system and privacy advocates warn that before you sign up for Informed Delivery, you need to be informed.

The U.S. Postal Service stresses that the actual Informed Delivery database has never been hacked, and said the best way to protect yourself from someone spying on your mail may be to sign up for the service with your own email address before someone else signs up as you. Video

I got an email trying to sell me a ‘boner’ enhancer. I am sure lots of women did. The email said Bangkok was one of the sexiest cities on the planet. With a name like bang-kok, I am not surprised

[Rain Dance] This works 75% of the time even in the dry season. Plan a car show, and it will rain. Sunday’s Show & Shine car show was cancelled due to rain flooding the Sugarloaf parking lot.

[The Swamp] The history of the Everglades is a dramatic yet little known story of humanity’s attempt to conquer nature. The Swamp, told through the lives of a handful of colorful and resolute characters, explores the repeated efforts to reclaim, control and transform what was seen as a vast wasteland into an agricultural and urban paradise, and, ultimately, the drive to preserve America’s greatest wetland. Video
[“Secure our borders”] What about Cuban migrants coming into the Keys? I called about a boat with migrants and was told by a woman at sheriff’s office, “They’re not called migrants.” Who’s protecting the borders in BPK’s back yard? Are only specific ‘kinds’ of migrants given a pass?

[Fluoride Causes Pimples] Nazis did not put fluoride in drinking water to pacify people in concentration camps. You fell for an old urban myth; there is no evidence at all of it. The myth started out from anti fluoridation zealots. And the fake news apparently worked, at least on you.

[Fake News] It’s hard to understand how we allowed fake news to be part of our life — a big part of our life. We trusted them, we took what they said to the bank. They influenced our vote, where we sent our kids to school, how we felt about the whole world in general. They lied to us. They manipulated us. They violated us. That trust is lost, I don’t think they can earn it again in my life time. Sad, sad indeed. Shame on you. You lose, and good, riddance!



Abate Chili Cook Off This Sunday, January 27th at Coconuts on Big Pine Key. Check out this video , it will give you a taste of everything but the Chili. Video

[Junk Food] I bet anyone, if Summerland Key or Big Pine Key had an Arby’s fast food most locals would eat there if they served breakfast, lunch and dinners, instead of the crap chow halls we have to suffer with now.
[“The Coriolis Force”]  The Coriolis force has not a thing to do with the magnetic field or force. It is about relative global rotational speed- fast at the equator, slower at the poles. And the equator does not pass through Tanzania.
[Steel Framing and Wifi] Architects now build homes in Florida with steel 2×4 or 2×6 framing and line the outside with aluminum foil covered insulation. This is great to stop moisture and bugs from coming in, but is plays hell trying to use WI-FI and cellphones indoors! Wonder if it stops Big Bro from spying on us?
[Parable] A lot of monkeys lived near a village. One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys. He announced that he will buy the monkeys for $100 each. The villagers thought that this man is mad. They thought how can somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each Still, some people caught some monkeys and gave them to this merchant and he gave them $100 for each monkey. This news spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and sold them to the merchant. After a few days, the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys for $200 each. The villagers again ran around to catch the remaining monkeys. Then the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys for $500 each, same story.

Then the merchant announced that he is going home for a week. And when he returns, he will buy monkeys for $1000 each! He asked his employee to take care of the monkeys he bought. The merchant went home. Then the employee told the villagers that he would secretly sell some monkeys for $700 each. This news spread like fire. Since the merchant buys monkey $1000 each, there could be a $300 profit for each monkey.

The next day, villagers made a queue near the monkey cage. The employee sold all the monkeys at $700 each. The rich bought monkeys in big lots. The poor borrowed money from money lenders and also bought monkeys. The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return. But nobody came. Then they ran to the employee. But he has already left too leaving them with a lot of very expensive monkeys.

Bitcoin will be the next monkey business. It will make a lot of people bankrupt and a few people filthy rich in this monkey business. That’s how it will work.  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, down town Pine Key

John C Bogle, founder of financial giant Vanguard, is dead at 89. He invented Index funds where the little guy could play with the big guys and have the same chances at riches. Link
[$600 hammer from fancy accounting”] This is a myth- the debunking of this story is rarely spoken about or written about because it is not sensational. So the story of the hundreds of dollars spent on toilet seats and hammers persists, even here on the CT.

One problem: “There never was a $600 hammer,” said Steven Kelman, public policy professor at Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government and a former administrator of the Office of Federal Procurement Policy. It was, he said, “an accounting artifact.”

The military bought the hammer, Kelman explained, bundled into one bulk purchase of many different spare parts. But when the contractors allocated their engineering expenses among the individual spare parts on the list-a bookkeeping exercise that had no effect on the price the Pentagon paid overall-they simply treated every item the same. So the hammer, originally $15, picked up the same amount of research and development overhead-$420-as each of the highly technical components, recalled retired procurement official LeRoy Haugh. (Later news stories inflated the $435 figure to $600.)

US 1 is a disgrace!  We need better road crews. In Miami circa 1995. they repaved Biscayne Blvd. in one operation: the millings went directly into a recycling machine that added fresh asphalt oils, then directly into a paver, followed by rollers. It was like one long mechanical animal that ate rough pavement and pooped smooth!  Here is a similar operation described. Link
[The Wall] Sell the rest of Florida to Israel and China and use the money to pay for the wall.