2016 July

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

cowboy dog draws guns [Armed Citizen Myth Busted] Dallas showed the absurdity of the claim that it takes a good guy with a gun to stop a bad guy with a gun. There were nothing but good guys, and they had nothing but guns. And five died anyway. They were as helpless as the rest of us.  The mass killer in Dallas shouldn’t have been allowed to buy whatever kind of rifle he used in the shooting. No sales of war weaponry will mean no deaths by war weaponry. Isn’t it obvious?If you tell me that you want a handgun to keep in your house for defensive purposes, or a long gun for hunting, I’m okay with that. But once you close your front door behind you, it’s a given that, you should surrender the job of you protection to law enforcement officers.
A person infected with Zika has died in Utah, and while the exact cause is unclear, authorities said Friday it marks the first death related to the virus in the continental U.S. (Maybe FTR is right?)
jail13[Going To Jail] A former Monroe County administrator and a former federal courthouse security officer accused of illegal firearms sales will face a maximum of 10 years in federal prison at sentencing in October as both pleaded guilty Friday as part of a plea agreement with prosecutors. Thomas Joseph Willi, 52, of Summerland Key, and federal courthouse security officer Jarvis Nelson Osorio, 36, of Key West, pleaded guilty before U.S. Magistrate Judge Lurana S. Snow to count seven of the indictment against them — receiving and possessing a firearm not registered to them as per national firearms records. Specifically, they pleaded guilty to receiving and selling a .38-caliber cane gun — the sort of concealed gun one might see in a James Bond film — to a man in Las Vegas, Nevada last year that was not registered to them as per the National Firearms Act, according to the plea agreement.

According to a factual proffer of the case read by the government, Osorio and Willi can be heard on wire worn by an undercover operative to destroy the weapon. The gun was later recovered by federal investigators. Both men had been facing a slew of illegal gun sales-related charges that had they gone to trial and been convicted, they would effectively be facing life sentences on all the counts had should they been sentenced to the maximums.

Instead, they will face a maximum punishment of 10 years in prison, followed by three years of supervised release and a maximum fines of up to $250,000. It is unlikely they will receive all 10 years in prison as federal prosecutors will ask sentencing judge U.S. District Court Judge Jose E. Martinez for leniency at sentencing on Oct. 4.

The plea agreement read in court as follows: • The government agreed to dismiss all remaining counts; • The government will recommend a reduction in sentencing due to both accepting responsibility and recommend the low end range of the sentencing guidelines; • Both men and their company, Outbreak Ordinance,11 County Road on Big Pine Key, will forfeit the firearms to the government; • They waived their right to challenge that forfeiture; • They must surrender all their Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives firearms licenses; • They waived their right to appeal, unless the government appeals at a later date.

Their company, Outbreak Ordinance LLC, also pleaded guilty via an attorney and will face a maximum sentence of $500,000 in fines, as per the agreement. It had faced as much as $2.5 million in fines prior to the agreement. The plea agreement still must be approved by Martinez and he could eschew it for some legal reason and sentence the men to more or less of the agreed upon terms. The government alleges the men sold firearms at Outbreak Ordinance — handguns, shotguns, a hunting rifle as well as M16-style assault rifles — to undercover Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives operatives, including one with a felony criminal record. They were arrested in July 2015 following an 18-month undercover investigation by the ATF. Willi and Osorio opened the gun shop and range about two years ago. The store at 11 County Road, has been put up for sale and was listing for $549,000 via Fathom Realty of Summerland Key. Willi is also listed as a real estate agent with Fathom Reality, according to the company’s website. Neither man has any prior criminal convictions., KW Citizen

Those Old 7 Mile Bridge jobs should put a load of Keys people to work! Where do you get a job application?  Or are the jobs filled with foreigners?  Call your local Representative, I am sure they will get you work.
bacteria germ[FTR] A poster panned the world wide concern attendant to Zika.

The poster assures us that the concern about Zika is nothing more than a plot by big money interests to make even more money. I marvel at that posters sense of self importance and righteousness.

It must very comforting to be convinced that you are possessed of more wisdom, facts, scientific knowledge and research than are the World Health Organization, the President of the United States, the Governor of the State of Florida, the Congress of the United States, virtually every health department in the USA, the nations of Brazil, The Dominican Republic, The Bahamas, Cuba, the European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control, Guatemala, Paraguay, Venezuela, and sundry other South American nations. OOPS, I almost forgot to mention the Philippines, Africa, and even American Samoa.

I guess that the poster while poo pooing the import and impact of microcephaly probably simply forgot that Zika also can be the cause of Guillain Barre syndrome, which is nothing more than a simple little matter of paralysis. Certainly nothing much to our cynical poster. Oh yeah…lets not forget that Gullain Barre can be fatal, your muscles can become so paralyzed that you can no longer breathe. But that’s nothing to our intrepid nay sayer.

As for this Olde Fart, I really want to live to be an even older Olde Fart, and I don’t want any infants born with the terrible birth defect of microcephaly. So, I’ll push hard to kill mosquitoes in every way that they can be killed. Who knows perhaps even the life of the naysayer or a loved one of the naysayer might be saved.

That would be a very good thing.

[“Peary Court”] So Balfour Beatty wants 15% interest on their money. Where did they come up with this figure? I would love to get even half of that of any investment or savings
welcome to paradise signcriminals like easy targets



Does the Big Pine DOT have a sense of humor?

[Gun Nuts] There will never be gun control or anything close to it because of the narrow mindedness of the gun nuts. I many posts about the problem of assault rifles reeking disaster around the country–only our country. The problem is the gun nuts, in their myopia, miss the entire point of these posts and only focus on the definitions and minutiae of firearms. How can we hope for a safe country when we can’t even bust through the thick wall of hate and mental blocks of the gun nuts?
[Why Didn’t Anybody Do Something?] This kind of nut case is exactly the kind of volatile nut who feels such injustice he gets an automatic weapon and goes berserk in my face.  This kind of nut case is where people are outraged, after the fact, as to why no one did anything about him and they’re all start crying, “There ought to be a law!” “Somebody should have done something.” “Where’s the government when you need them?”

Shouldn’t there be a ten-strike rule or somethng?

“A Marathon liveaboard who threatened to kill then-presidential candidate Barack Obama in 2008 and has since been arrested multiple times was arrested again after threatening a Monroe County Sheriff deputy and a state wildlife officer. Raymond Hunter Geisel, 30, of Boot Key Harbor, was charged with felony counts of threatening a public servant and a misdemeanor count of stalking. The incident began on Wednesday morning when deputies went to the Florida Keys Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, 10550 Aviation Blvd., where Geisel refused to leave without his dog that reportedly was being held because it bit another dog. He asked a responding deputy, “Is that dog willing to die for today?”

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Mosquitoes are so perfectly adapted that they haven’t changed in over forty million years. That will soon change with GMO mosquitoes. I fear the outcome.

[“All TV will be streamed by internet”] We are lucky enough to live in an area where we can receive TV signals with antennas. For the rest we use a Roku box or an Amazon Firestick. Why pay for 600 channels when you only watch a dozen.
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What are these new spy poles for? This one is on Key Deer Blvd and Palm Ave. There are a few more along the north end of Key Deer Blvd.

[“High salaries”] Mosquito Control Board members receive so much compensation because they have to go to, I think it’s, 10 meetings a year. Poor babies.
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Why do people get mad when you make them realize how dumb they are?” I thought I was doing them a favor!
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[Key Lime Fly] Lately I’ve been attacked by these new kind of deer flies, at least new to my area in the middle of the refuge. Those buggers really hurt, but like the deer fly they are slow and easy to smack. We’ve been calling them Key Lime flies because of their key lime color. I might have seen one of them last year? This year a see the every few days lately while regular deer flies are here all the time. Those little bastards!

Got stress? Yeah, who doesn’t? Researchers claim stress increases cancer growth by 6 times, besides greatly increasing your chances of a coronary or just getting ill. Probiotics have been shown to reduce stress, besides replenishing the gut bacteria that were killed by the antibiotics in that chicken you just ate. Here’s an article on stress and probiotics. Link
Religion and the Second Amendment have caused more death, suffering, and hardship than either one is worth.
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[Paint Remover] Cutters’ Skinsations tipped over and ate away three coats of latex paint on this storage box. Imagine what it what it does to your skin! Jeez, I thought DEET was bad, but paint remover?

[Ooh aah] A Florida woman died after falling from a trail at Grand Canyon National Park. 35-year-old Colleen Burns accidentally stepped off an edge at Ooh Aah Point. Ooooo … Aaaaaaaaaa …
sad happy click heelsThat was a great post rebutting the ‘rifleperson’.  I’m also approaching 60 and see it’s so sad so many of us are trying to go back to the past.  We should learn from history, not get stuck in it.  Geez, you’d think folks want to abolish a women’s right to vote, or reinstitute slavery, etc. There’s just too much hate for me. We live in a diverse and wonderful area; it’s better to spend your time to learn and appreciate the diversity of others (you don’t have to be like them, but they don’t need to be like you either).  I hope you see the light before you continue the sad path to the cemetery that is sitting on the front porch, and missing out on everything that will be future history.
Mix-in-the-pan pie crusts make summer desserts a breeze. Make these pies the night before an event, or the morning of, since all need several hours in the refrigerator to set. Link



Somethings don’t have to be taught.

Who says building a border wall won’t work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don’t have any freakin’ Mexicans!


You know you are a snowbird with too much money when…

FDOT Secretary Jim Boxold should change his name to Oldbox because an old box behind his desk would get as much accomplished as he does. How the hell do these people get, and keep, their jobs?
[Crook] A former member of the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary Advisory Council and her husband, accused of purchasing wildlife, mainly sharks, from fishermen who did not have the proper licenses, pleaded guilty Monday as part of an agreement with prosecutors. Leah and Phil Gould, who operate Florida Keys Marine Life on Big Pine Key, pleaded guilty to count one of the indictment — conspiracy to violate the Lacey Act, “which makes it a federal crime to import, export, transport, sell, receive, acquire or purchase in interstate or foreign commerce, any fish or wildlife, taken, possessed, transported or sold in violation of any law or regulation of any state.” They will face a maximum of five years in prison and fines of up to $250,000 at sentencing on Oct. 3 before U.S. District Court Judge Jose E. Martinez.
~By Adam Linhardt, Key West Citizen
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[“Sunset Marina: Liveaboards in Jeopardy and More Afforable Housing Hocus-Pocus”] I wuz there, I saw and heard it with my own two eyes and two ears. Sam Kaufman stood alone, bless his heart, on the dais.

The developer, represented by local lawyer/Jim Hendrick protege Barton Smith, who, with his family, own at least part of the existing Sunset Marina development and will do same with the new addition thereto, and City Planner Thaddeus Cohen cherry- picked from two different city “regulations”, to give Barton the most bang for his and his parents’ bucks, and the least actually fordable housing for the city. Surprise?

When Smith made his slick presentation, he went out of his way to avoid saying what the actual rents would be for the “affordable” 2-BR apartments. He used formulas, which mean zero to 99.99 percent of the Key West population. He said the apartments would be rented by school teachers, police officers, fire fighters and rescue workers, for examples. It took some effort by Kaufman to get Smith to admit the actually $$ rents. Knocking out of contention for those units all but perhaps well-paid school teachers. Knocking out of contention hundreds of city employees altogether.

When I was interviewed on 106.9 Island Radio recently, by Wayne Dapser, he asked what all I would try to do with affordable housing, if I am elected mayor in November? I said one thing wiill be for the city to stop using formulas and start using actual dollars per month rent, when talking about affordable rental housing, so the public will know what the rents actually are.

Smith told the city commission that he didn’t know what the actual “affordable mix” would end up being, because he didn’t know what the mortgage financing would be, what he would have to pay out each month. I mentioned that during my citizen comments, and said there are many moving targets in this deal, and you really don’t know what you are being asked to approve here. No problem. Smith called it affordable housing. Cohen called it affordable housing. The mayor and several city commissioners called it affordable housing. Even though most school teachers, city police officers, fire fighters, rescue workers and hundreds of other city employees cannot afford it.  ~Sloan For Mayor



[“Removing rust from fiberglass”] In a post about Ospho I said goof of should be used to clean rust stains I meant On and Off.  Sorry. MaryKate On and Off – Hull and Bottom Cleaner. $16.30 Prime. It is also an acid based product for cleaning boat hulls. Link

There is middle ground, but no one will stand on it. That’s the problem
crook flashlight head turns[Crooks] A couple of years ago, when I checked my credit card account online (something I do every week or so, just because …), I had $1300 in charges over my normal purchases. All of the $1300 were for fuel purchased at Race Trac gas stations. There were usually two charges a day at different stations each day; and all were for $90 to $96 per transaction and all in a one week period. Perhaps $100 is some sort of trigger, repeated purchases in the same day at the same station also may be a trigger for the credit card company’s fraud folks. Don’t know.
I immediately called my credit card company and explained what had happened. A couple of questions from them and I was told not to use my card and that another was being sent to me. I went back online to look closer at the fraudulent transactions to try to confirm where I got my card skimmed –- my account was gone! In a couple of minutes it had disappeared. The credit card company removed it from the web.
I don’t recall any charge to me for the fraudulent skimming and use of my card. There may have been, but I do not recall any.I really hate a damn thief. The “bridge drop” of the thief, over shallow water, works for me
[Grinder Pump Maintenance] A personal experience with salt water, pumps, and plumbing fixtures. When moving into a house with cistern supplied water I recognized that it was flushing toilets that used a considerable amount of potable water. The water table at the house was about 1′ to 1.5′ below ground surface, so my solution was to have two 6′ diameter holes drilled 6’ apart and 6’deep.

I broke out the 6″ taint and poured a cap over my new well. I had the water tested and it was too brackish to even water my fruit trees and orchids, so I decided to install a pump and pressure tank system to flush the toilets. I used it for around five years until city water came. During that time I ran through 2 pumps and tanks and replaced my toilet fixtures 3 times. That was about 375 PPM salt content, not salt water.

My point is, if you capitulate and have a grinder pump on your property instead of in the street, be prepared to have to maintain their equipment. Yah, I’m aware that the BOCC promised to be responsible for the maintenance, and the BOCC never lies, right?




Every dog should have a kid.

It’s hard to imagine I’d ever agree with FTR, but this Zika thing is bizarre!  The choice is sterilized mosquitoes vs repeated doses of airborne poisons.  Once again, fear of the unknown is disproportionate to the lowest risk and best option. I’d rather my kids and grand kids didn’t get bathed in poison. Cough, cough!
palatka-house[Palatka, Florida] To those unhappy campers down in the dumps in the dumpy Florida Keys:  How about you move it on up to Palatka? I picked out a bitchin crib for $618K where you can live at the top of the tax bracket among the trailer park people.  This one won’t go underwater for another 50 years and if you don’t like it then you could always rent it to a Palatka millionaire.   I’m certain they would help pay your underwater mortgage.  Palatka sure looks live a groovey lil town to park your yacht.  Link
The assault rifles developed at the end of WWII are few in number, not sold without special taxes, and require a Federal license. The definition of assault rifles today is meaningless, as they cannot fire any faster than a revolver. “Spraying bullets” is a misnomer perpetrated by the media upon a gullible public. What is an “assault knife” anyway?
Inside the Army’s spectacular hidden treasure room. the crown jewel of the collection is the 16,000 pieces of fine art the Army owns. Video
[Asshole Captured] State wildlife officers described disgusting conditions aboard a sailboat at the center of an animal abuse case involving a Boot Key Harbor man with numerous run-ins with law enforcement.

GeiselRaymond Geisel, 30, was arrested Thursday on two felony counts for threatening a public official, felony stalking and misdemeanor stalking. On Friday, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission added 77 misdemeanor charges on various captive wildlife violations, animal cruelty charges and nuisance injurious to public health charges.

Geisel served 16 months in federal prison for threatening the lives in 2008 of then-presidential candidate Barack Obama and President George W. Bush and has been arrested multiple times since then, mostly due to his cantankerous relationship with other boaters at Boot Key Harbor.

Missus Asshole, Susanne Kynast, 43, was only charged with 73 misdemeanor counts: Five different captive wildlife violations per reptile onboard the vessel, numerous animal cruelty charges, and nuisance injurious to public health charges and derelict vessel charges.

[Family Tree] A handy chart for people with big families.  In some parts of the country it is almost a straight line. Check this out for some laughs.

Ray Stevens — I’m My Own Grandpa

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To the “good gawd, 23 years wearing the eagle globe and anchor”: Just the way you started your critique says you were no more than a Remington Raider. But, hey, we joined the Service so people in this country can say what they want, when they want, and about anything they want. How’s that, Sally…

Mocking journalist who claimed PTSD from AR-15. Video


[Zika] The Florida Department of Health is educating the state’s youth on mosquito bite prevention and enlisting their help in the fight against mosquito-borne illnesses in a new campaign that encourages them to “Spill the Water!” to remove breeding places. Link

[Corrections] When the KW Citizen or any other paper, prints something terrible about you and later realizes they were completely wrong; they print one little sentence at the bottom of page 2 under the word CORRECTIONS where nobody reads it. But the public still thinks you’re a bad guy. They should print their corrections in the same size font and in the same place as the original story appeared. Fair is fair.
There is way too much hate in this world, and a lot of it is due to a lack of knowledge.  Our country was built on the strength of diversity (Italian, Irish, Spanish, African, Polish, etc) and all sorts or religions.  But here we are again, like with slavery, women’s rights, etc, dealing with the racial and religious tensions. For the folks that worry about mosques, there are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world compared to only 2.2 billion Christians.  It’s not an evil force, but there are right-wing zealots who are evil people!  It seems like ‘right-wing extremist’ is a common problem in religion, race, and politics from my perspective.  Celebrate our diversity, get to meet other types of people.  You don’t have to be the same as them to appreciate what they believe. And remember, they don’t need to be like you either.
frigatbirds-flyingFrigatebirds can travel more than 250 miles a day, reach altitudes as high as two-and-a-half miles, and glide 40 miles without flapping their wings.

The seabirds accomplish these fantastic feats by riding wind and clouds like a roller coaster. Frigatebirds weigh two to four pounds and have wings spanning more than seven feet.

Feds nearing a decision on whether to see pot as a potential medicine. If they reschedule it, it will still be equal to cocaine in the eyes of the law!
Suspense is mounting after the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration missed its self-imposed June 30 deadline to decide. Link
sheriff app


The Sheriff’s app is available for both Android-based smartphones and for iPhone. It works on both types of tablet computers as well. It includes the ability to view arrests and mugshots for the past seven days, view the sheriff’s WebCAD (live calls for service), see sexual offenders and predators and allows people to browse the sheriff’s office blog, Twitter feed and Facebook postings. People can send in a Crime Stoppers tip on the app, which also features the ability to communicate by email with many of the sheriff’s command staff. Visit the Google Play store or the Apple Store and search for “Monroe County Sheriff’s Office” to download the free app.

[Food Failures] ‘Beer can chicken’ myths and bbq science tips. Link
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If you have any questions/thoughts on radical Islam, I hope you will take the time to listen to Newt. He is right on the money about what we are up against. Link


Join the Sister Season Fund for a Texas Chili Cook-Off on July 23rd at Bourbon Street Pub, located at724 Duval St. Come taste the chili and cast your votes at $1 per vote! To enter, bring your best chili to the bar by 3PM. There will be prizes for Peoples’ Choice and for Best Theme. Enjoy a special country music show by Jessica Grabbit. Chili tasting and voting will be from 3pm – 7pm, with an Award Ceremony at 8PM.  All proceeds will benefit the Sister Season Fund. Support Locals Helping Locals! For more information, contact 305-304-9828. Link

[Token Black Man] The NRA finally found a black man to be their spokesman. They looked and looked and finally found one who agrees with them. Link
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[Parliament] England’s two Parties face each other on tiered rows of green leather benches, separated by a gap that—according to legend—was two sword lengths, so that opponents could not fight.

[Stuff The Bus] Florida Keys children need school supplies such as pencils, binders, notebooks, and backpacks as part of their studies. But some local families can’t afford these basic supplies. That’s why United Way of the Florida Keys and community partners are supporting the annual “Stuff the Bus” event, an effort that last year produced 16 pallets of school supplies for distribution to Monroe County schools throughout the Keys.

Local companies can become sponsors of “Stuff the Bus” by pledging a minimum amount of $250 worth of school supplies through a supply drive with their employees or customers, or by making a contribution of $250 or more, or a combination of both. Supplies will be collected through the first week of September.

Individuals can participate in “Stuff the Bus” by taking school supplies to a sponsor’s business, making a donation online at, shopping at Publix and buying “Tools for Schools” gift cards at the checkout counter, or by bringing donated supplies to various community gatherings throughout the month of August, including the August 3rd Key West Business Guild meeting, the August Girls Night Out event in Key West, the Key Largo Chamber of Commerce event on August 25th, and the annual kickoff party at the Hard Rock Cafe in Key West, among many other opportunities.

Every dollar donated to the Stuff the Bus school supply drive will be used directly to purchase additional bulk supplies for children in Keys schools. For information on “Stuff the Bus,” call the UWFK office at 305-735-1929, or email

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