2020 July

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

My northern city had riots during the Black Lives Matter melee and the protesters ruined many black-owned businesses and defaced monuments with misspellings. Many vehicles still have cracked windshields and businesses are still boarded up. My friend drove around during the riots and was astonished by the lawlessness. People are still afraid to go downtown. My friend was robbed at gunpoint by a 13-year black kid back in 2012 and lost $400. Our black friend had two babies with his baby momma, they live together, unmarried, and collect welfare and get many free things plus reduced rent.
I felt sorry for them living inside a very hot house without AC and bought them a $175 window AC unit which he quickly pawned to go for part of an expensive pair of tennis shoes. Their family is always dressed to impress. He has the biggest TV I have ever seen. When I asked, he said that, yes, blacks do not like whites one bit and he could not give any reasons. When they were at my home and I went to the bath room later, I discovered several windows and doors were unlocked or unlatched as if they thought they could return to rob me. Once I visited his apartment and there was a pitbull on a leash outside another apartment’s front door and it was below freezing. Bone chilling cold. I told him about it and he said they don’t snitch and that the dog’s puppy had been also on a leash at the front door but froze to death. Three weeks later, I returned to see the dog still on a leash at the front door of his neighbor’s apartment. Again, I told him that was terrible and again he said it was none of his business and they don’t snitch. After I left, I rang the police and never again saw that poor dog on a leash at the front door.The police even went back weekly to do a drive-bys to ensure that thug never did that again to the dog. One winter a black man intentionally left his 10-year old dog outside to freeze to death. In my neighborhood last summer, they were finding black trash bags with dead pitbulls from dog fighting rings. Every single night another black is killed from gang violence in the city. A lot of the blacks where I live are aggressive drivers, litterbugs, uneducated and have RBF (resting bitch face) and when I smile at them and their children in the grocery stores, they do not return one–ever. USPS here is run by mostly angry black women who are free to steal, lose and tamper with our mail. Be happy you live in the Keys and the fact that you do not have gangs and angry blacks who only know hate and violence. Many were raised in hate, beaten, raped and not well-cared for by their grannies because their parentals are sometimes in and out of jail. I was never prejudiced until I moved to a city with 30% colored folk who hate me because I’m white and now I want to move back to the Keys where there are very few blacks. (Ed: I posted this because I know the author who is trying to write real experiences. This is a subject we can never talk about, especially with black folks present. Sometimes the truth hurts.)

Deer Humans!
Please don’t send us any more unsolicited nude pictures with instructions on how to get to your house. It’s creepy.
The Aliens


[Lost] I lost my blue, mirrored Costa sunglasses at the basketball court at Big Pine Key Community Park.  If you found them, please email me at Many thanks!

[Out of Control] Florida reported another 10,000 new coronavirus cases on Monday, the 12th day since the Fourth of July the number has topped that threshold.



How to get more dragon fruit from your cactus. Video

[Price Gauging] Who knew that hand sanitizers, masks, alcohol, and bleach would more than triple in price? Store brand bleach that was on sale at .99 a gallon (128 oz.) in February is now on sale at $2.99 for the smaller 81 oz. or $4.73 a gallon for store brand bleach–on sale!


[Emergency Meeting to Stop Lobster Mini Season] The Monroe County Commission will hold an emergency virtual meeting today, Tuesday, to discuss asking state fishery managers to cancel the two-day lobster mini-season next week and will consider more restrictions to stop the spread of the coronavirus in the Florida Keys. As of early Monday, the Florida Department of Health was reporting 859 COVID-19 cases, which is about 1% of the Florida Keys population. Roughly, 9,400 people in the Keys have been tested for the virus and the Keys’ positive rate is about 10%. Link

[R.I.P. Larry Kahn] I took him out on my boat to Looe Key and we also went swimming somewhere private and then I sorta had my way with him. He didn’t seem to like it and never called me again. He was a nice man and a very good writer.
To all who participated in the 2020 Conch Records Music Video Fest either as a performer, part of the production crew, a sponsor and volunteer. These are the videos which came from the 2020 Fest:

Bill Todd Billy Brown Band CAT 4 Band Christian & Marc Davis Cultivation Reggae Dan Sullivan Fiddle Rock Four Sheets to the Wind Glenn Harman Jersey Slim Joe Mama John Bartus Keys Community Concert Band Lady A Blues Band Lower Keys Rock n Reggae Luke Sommer Glenn Maasai Marian Joy Ring Micah James Gardner Michael J & Mona Mike Bailey Pinebillies Rachel Grace Radio Ghost Rita B The Sharp Keys Shana Gaskill Steve Venini The Usual Suspects Tim Marshall & Trinity Curtis Tropical Jam Windpower

A large amount of gratitude goes out to the ones who were directly responsible for making great music videos out of the above performances. 1. The camera operators (Chris Uhland, Dewey Engstrom, Melissa and a couple of different transient guys who were staying at Boot Key Harbor) 2. Melissa, for doing an excellent job throwing in b-roll footage covering up poor lighting, camera mishaps, and for making great videos to watch. 3. , for doing a spectacular job mixing the audio.



[Comet] How to see the Neowise comet before it disappears. I saw it this morning in Michigan. Look where the sun comes up, before the sun comes up, until Thursday, just above horizon. Grab your binoculars to see some awesome energy. Local astronomy experts and enthusiasts offer advice on sighting the comet. Link

If Gov. DeSantis had not mismanaged the COVID-19 response by dismissing science, perhaps we could open schools safely. Instead, we just saw our worst day for infections and the numbers are going up, not down.
[Deer Blowhard New Money Show-Offs] And you know who you are. There has never been a good time to be ostentatious, especially during a global pandemic and another pending hurricane right outside your magnificent door. You are setting yourselves and family up for danger if you continue flaunting your new wealth on social media. People are going hungry, getting the virus and lost jobs, insurance, their cars repo-ed while you post photos of going out to eat all the time, your boats and cars and your cocaine-fueled clean house on the water. You’re not making us or your old fat ex-wife you abandoned for a younger gold digger jealous; you’re showing what blowhards you guys are and simply needing more attention. Too bad that cash cannot buy you a bigger penis or make you over five feet tall. Why don’t you show off quietly with a large donation to charity and keep your never ending selfies to show your family?
The COVID-19 test did not hurt one bit and it’s covered by health insurance. Where I live, the results came in two days. Stay away from people and stock up for this winter.



Happy Moon Day!

[Human Rights] Communist China: Armed thugs swooped in on protesters and swept them away without warrants. They had full face masks on disguising them even further. They had no badges or identification on their cars and gave no explanation for the arrest or would tell anyone where they were taking the kidnapped protesters. And they wouldn’t name their authority.
Oops, that’s not in China, that’s Portland, Oregon! If this is making America great again, I’ll take the old one. I liked it better before. Video


[How Far The Storm] The time it takes from lightening to thunder tells you how far away the storm is. 5 seconds equals 1 mile from you. 15 seconds = 3 miles away.

[Mini Lobster Season to Continue]Well it looks like all our pleading and requesting to the governor has done absolutely nothing. Perhaps the Gov. doesn’t believe the numbers of how the virus has increased several hundred percent since they opened up the Keys and allowed all the disease ridden tourists access. It has been observed in the supermarkets, gasoline stations, shops the lack of acceptable distancing, and the reluctance to mask. The Keys are designated as an area of critical State concern. But according to the Gov. it seems to only apply to Bambi, and the little Bunnies. People in the Keys need to be protected also.  Don’t only stop Mini Lobster season but stop all recreational lobster harvesting for the 2020 season.



[The Good, the Bad and the Ugly] Ennio Morricone wrote it and is dead. He was an Italian composer, orchestrator, conductor, and trumpet player who wrote music in a wide range of styles. Morricone composed over 400 scores for cinema and television, as well as over 100 classical works. The Danish National Symphony Orchestra. Video

[Revising History] Taking down statues of historic figures is just plain awful. They should move them or place a plaque on them identifying what they did wrong.
[Pandemic] We passed the 800 mark today in the Keys. 810 cases, compared to 110 on June 1. We all knew it would happen, but they didn’t listen to us. The hotels & restaurants are  happy to be open. Are they happy that their staffs are getting sick at an alarming rate? Well I suppose that just opens up more jobs. Stay home. Stay safe. Stay well – wear masks!



The old TV show ‘Dead Zone’ Plague episode predicted Coronavirus. Link

[Masks] If you don’t wear a mask for political reasons, please wear one to protect me from your germs. Most of us know the difference between politics and science.

[No To School] Statistically, the odds are against reopening Florida’s brick and mortar schools in August. COVID-19 spreads best in tight quarters indoors, where everyone is breathing the same air for long periods of time. In short — places like classrooms.

While Governor DeSantis forces schools to reopen (despite what all health officials recommend) Florida’s number of coronavirus cases proliferate and explode. Don’t use your kids as lab rats. Keep them home and let the other kids be lab rats until it’s safe for your kid to go back to school.

[Virus Wake Up Call] Our precious islands went from just over 100 COVID cases at the end of June to over 700 in less than 45 days since opening the floodgates to non-residents.  I understand the urgency for businesses and laid off employees to get back to pre-virus status, but at what cost?  If the reality of today isn’t enough to cancel lobster mini-season and reinstate the checkpoints, what will it take? a loved one experiencing the trauma of infection? their death? or you falling prey to this 2020 beast?  Wake up people, greed and wealth cannot replace the value of life.
[Virus Testing] The Health Department is ramping up its free COVID-19 testing this month. The Health Department will be conducting testing from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on July 21 and July 28 at the Big Pine Key Moose Lodge at 21 Wilder Road. Big Pine Key
From 8:30 a.m. to 12 p.m. July 22, July 24, July 29 and July 31 at The College of the Florida Keys at 5901 College Road. Stock Island
From 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. July 23 at the Islamorada Moose Lodge at 81573 Old Highway.
Criteria for testing includes being a Monroe County resident, having a valid ID, and being pre-registered with name, address, phone number, and date of birth. Appointments are required. To schedule one, call 1-786-698-0093. If voicemail is full, email
[Masks] “Grim Reaper Special” Watch how people react to people not wearing masks. Walmart, Target, CVS, Walgreens and Kroger are the biggest retailers to announce they will soon mandate masks at stores nationwide. Video



[Shooting] More charges still pending in shooting on Saturday. An armed robbery is caught on surveillance cameras in front of the Monroe County Library on Elizabeth Street. Jullian Vaughn Thomas, 24, of Tennessee, was later arrested after a shootout with Monroe County Sheriff’s Office deputies on Big Coppitt Key. Link

[Abba] I was never a fan and knew nothing about them. Swedes. I found there were two girls starring, with the most incredibly perfect harmony. The one with the great behind that almost looks like it was glued on, sang a half note below the black-haired one. What a good sound. Their clothes were the worst of all–glam rock. Aaarg! The sissy guitar player had a John Williams page boy haircut and the sissy piano player looked so sissified I turned away during their close-ups. I can’t imagine them playing bars when they were starting off. They must have gotten beat up a lot. The girls were perfect singers. Swedes.



[How to Build a Canoe] Canadian Indians show their skills before they get lost forever. Video

Give a man power and see who he really is.
[Masks] If you don’t wear a mask for political reasons, please wear one to protect me from your germs. Most of us already know the difference between politics and science.



[Mini Lobster Season] Season: July 29-30, 2020. Always on the last consecutive Wednesday and Thursday of July each year. Link

Historic cathedral in Nantes, France is burning (Holy smoke!). This is the latest in a series of attacks in Christian churches. Nantes is where thousands of Catholics were killed by drowning (1793-1794) during the French Revolution’s Reign of Terror. Video


Fanala a rare melon. I can understand why.

[Mandatory Masks in KW] I wonder if this is another BOCC emergency ordinance that looks like something is going to be done but doesn’t. I mean who’s going to enforce it and what kind of penalties will be assessed? God forbid we piss off some tourists down here spending all that wonderful money that is so important to the fat cats. I’ve been down here 35 years and have seen it happen time and time again. Example: remember the Peterson Poker Run in September. All the politicians and Big Wigs demanding to crack down on the noise, until Mayor Weekly made it crystal clear “It’s not about the noise or the law, it’s about the money” the 4 to 6 million dollars that come into the City.


[Look At Me Department] The Tooth Fairy has been found alive and well in Key West, Florida!