2014 July

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

happy-face29[“Send only good email”] Someone replied, “This is dangerous. People have to face the world’s problems.” I agree, but let the email recipient choose the venue to use to face the world’s problems, like news or magazines, etc. Who wants to unknowingly be bombarded with emails they don’t want with the world’s problems in them? I’m watching the birds in the trees, having coffee and checking my email and they’re nice and good, and than–DOOM! I hate those emails. Bummers all. If I want to subscribe to a political email or newsletter that’s different, but unknowingly opening an email containing the world’s problems turns me off. It isn’t fair to the recipient. Once in a while is okay, but more than that is not good. The person who continually sends the world’s problems to friends is in danger of turning into an FTR type of person. Gasp!
Does anyone know if I can charge FKAA for use of my property as a dumping / storage area for the sewer crews equipment and materials, pea gravel, turn-around area, miscellaneous parking, and limiting my use of my freaking property?  How about the damage done to my Rolls Royce paint job, the crushing of my water pipe and elimination of one property survey marker, and at least 5 tons of my pea gravel? Please reply ASAP!
A school of fish, but a battery of barracuda.
Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf!
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Four deer
in repose.
[Crack Up] I have been riding on the bike path on the north side of Cudjoe. I noticed last night the ride seemed to be getting a little bumpier. It seems small portions are being pushed up from the road bed- I hope the powers to be got a good deal on the contractors, because if it keeps up, it will be cracked all to hell in less than a year.
[Where’s the IKC when you need them] The 10-minute power outage that affected 11,000 Keys Energy customers Sunday afternoon was the work of an iguana in Marathon. An iguana climbed on a piece of equipment that helps balance load levels within electric grids inside the Marathon electrical substation, and triggered the power outage. The iguana did not survive.
You can tell tourists SCUBA divers from local divers because the tourist divers have a knife strapped to their leg like in the movies.
Did you know that you can only haul 25 gallons of gasoline at on time for safety reasons?
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[Hostel in Bogie Channel] “Living In paradise on the cheap.” Come on down. Sleep under the stars or on the sidewalk. Push your luggage around in a free luggage cart. Use your free government paid-for cell phone. Use your food stamp card at most locations. Have your social security disability checks forwarded to you. Yes sir, come on down to paradise in the fabulous Florida Keys! Key West welcomes you all with open arms as one human family. Hell, Key West will also give you free room and board — and that’s not in the County jail.
[Real Estate Leviathan] Zillow and Trulia, two companies that changed the way people shop for homes, are combining. Real estate website operator Zillow Inc. is buying its rival in a $3.5 billion deal that will make the biggest player in the online real estate information market. Zillow will also become king of real estate listings available on smartphones and tablets — the fastest growing area for listings.
[I See Dead People] The number of water related deaths rose over the weekend as officials confirmed a woman on a jetski who hit the Channel 5 Bridge on Friday died Sunday. Meanwhile, dive crews pulled the body of a commercial fishing captain from his 41′ boat that sank near the Dry Tortugas Saturday afternoon in an incident that was first reported as a boat collision, but turned out to be a boat taking on water.

Those two deaths follow the death Wednesday of a New Jersey man who died while diving off Key Largo. On Thursday, a Georgia man was found dead in the water near the Carysfort Reef Light also off Key Largo. Then on Friday, a sailboat from Boot Key Harbor in Marathon struck the Seven Mile Bridge and a 62-year-old man was taken to shore. He was later discharged from Mariners Hospital in Key Largo after complaining of chest pain.

A young White Crowned Pigeon. You can see the white crown is barely ripe. You can also see little “hairs” on his neck and wings. I’d never noticed them before
[Not Posting Negative Comments About Advertisers] Understood. For me, it’s the extension of “not wanting to take sides” but still insisting on being “part of the process”…no different than what is going on in Gaza/Israel or Crimea/Ukraine.  We want to referee without getting our hands dirty.  That keeps the Pontius Pilate syndrome going through the centuries.

To do justice to any scenario, one has to leverage the equation, not as a big brother but as an honest broker with muscle behind words. I know, I’m dreaming

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senior-men-texting-300x200Senior Citizen Texting Code
ATD- At The Doctors
BFF- Best Friend Fell
BTW- Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT- Bring Your Own Teeth
FWIW- Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL- Cotta Co Pacemaker
Battery Low
GHA- Got Heartburn Again
IMHO- Is My Hearing-Aid On
LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out
OMMR- On My Massage Recliner
OMSG- Oh My! Sorry, Gas
ROFLACGU- Rolling On Floor
Laughing And Can’t Get Up
TTYL- Talk To You Louder
How much butter do you use? The two people in my house use a pound every few months or so (except during the holidays when our butter use is off the charts). I’ve cut down on my olive oil use by using Pan spray oil instead.
Someone defending Hamas said they are only little rockets.
briefcase handcuff
[Cash is Dangerous] I’m in the market for a boat and have been checking Craigslist fairly regularly. There’s one I like which the seller is demanding cash only. It is listed at $17,000. Does he think I will show up with $17,000 in cash at his house? How the hell do you even bring that with you? in a briefcase handcuffed to your wrist? What an idiot!
The Hostel in Bogie Channel is at mile marker 127, just below Homestead. They would love to put you up and have great driving and boating. It cost very little to stay if you are there at least a week. Have fun. (Ed: I suspect that is sarcasm. Better check before bringing you party stuff down.)
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love parotts
[Sexy Parrot] The parrot who saw a sex. Video
[Subsidized Housing] It’s hard to imagine legal way to use Medicaid for free or subsidized housing for anyone, but perhaps there’s a loophole. Building housing for homeless people is being tried elsewhere: Utah, started it, I think. A few other places. Miami did it, then ran out of money and still moans about its homeless situation. Free or subsidized housing will help new homeless people get back into mainstream, if they have jobs. Putting any homeless people who are active addicts into free or subsidized housing won’t go anywhere. I would require clean urine going into a free or subsidized living unit, and then I would try to do random urine screens and have in the “lease”, if a urine screen is flunked, then that’s ground for automatic eviction. I’m hearing a lot of talk down here about so many homeless people being mentally ill and they need to get back on their meds. Don’t see how to enforce that, either, and if they are active addicts, first trying to get them back on their meds is assbackwards and not likely to get hoped for results, whatever hoped for results are
It wasn’t by accident that the Gettysburg address was so short.   ~Ernest Hemingway
toms-scouts29toms-harbor-duck-keyVenture Crew thanks Keys Kayak for helping them clean up Tom’s Harbor Island. While a lot of people were hunting lobster holes this weekend, Marathon Venture Crew 901, with the help of Keys Kayak, cleaned up several hundred of pounds of trash and recycling from Tom’s Harbor Cut Island. Keys Kayak donated the use of their kayaks to get to the island and the Venture Crew did the rest. They filled a whole dumpster with the trash and are awaiting a way to recycle the almost-dumpsterful of recycling. This Service project is one of the many things the Venture Crew gets to do. The Venture Crew is a branch of the Boy Scouts, where both young men and women aged 14 to 21 can be members. Besides doing community service projects they have fun pursuing adventurous activities such as camping, kayaking, climbing and rappelling, archery, bb gun target practice, snorkeling trips, becoming scuba certified, to name a few. They meet every second and fourth Friday of the month at St. Columbia Church’s Hammock House at 6:00 PM. If you are interested in finding out more about the Venture Crew call Lisa (305) 731-6364 or Nana at (512) 970-4919.
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pizza-smile29It’s Tuesday and you know what that means. It’s Pizza Day! Any 2 topping pizza all day today for $10 (eat in only). You gotta’ love that.
Wednesday special: hamburger steak with onion mushroom gravy
Thursday special: sausage and peppers on a hoagie
Friday special: fish and chips
Happy Hour 2-7 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s always something special at Springer’s.
A fracking company is seeking permission to build a barge dock that could accommodate roughly 105,000,000 gallons of fracking waste at once. A facility of this size could endanger contiguous ecosystems and communities. Almost 686 million gallons of fracking wastewater was dumped in Ohio last year alone, in which half came from out of state sites. If approved, the new proposals could eventually transform Ohio into a fracking wasteland. The floating catastrophe. Just say no to fracking. Link
[“Please only send nice pictures, nice stories and no politics, war or depressing stuff”] I have a feeling your friends were just being nice. I have a feeling you send multiples a week including a few jokes — and they really don’t want to see any of it. It’s not that they don’t care, but they probably just get tired of deleting them. The half that didn’t reply to your request probably have a filter set-up and your emails automatically go into the trash
walk snail
[“Free Internet in the Keys”] Did you look at the chart when you click the link? This is free internet providers for dial-up, aargh! There are no free DSL providers in Area Code 305
[Classified Ads] Remove SAAB 2005 please, it is sold. Thank you for giving your time to the site, great job!
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treasure29The one good thing about all the Lobster Monster fisherman fishing the hump is diving it after they’re gone, many shiny new anchors, chum boxes, and the occasional new rod and reel
[“Bill Becker rolling in his grave”] I did not know that Bill had passed. I think that you must be thinking of Stan Becker, the founder of the Barometer. I think that he too is rolling over in his grave. He was a staunch conservative and the current editor /owner is a flea jump away from being communist.
[Songbirds Dying From DDT Again] A very sad, but true American story. When will we learn to love the planet, America’s land and ourselves again? History is still repeating itself. Link
The end is near.
 Movie Trailer
Your are absolutely right about the development of the Keys and it is coming. That is why this election is so important on a local level. If you love the Keys and you want to continue living here pay attention to this election or in 4 years you might not recognize the place.
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
The problem with political jokes is they get elected
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starfish arms move slow[Are lobsters related to insects] Both lobsters and insects are arthropods, meaning they have a outer shell which supports their bodies. The major differences are that insects have only six legs and often have wings as well. Crustaceans typically have more than 6 legs and have more than a single pair of antenna. Most insects live on land and most crustaceans are aquatic. Comparing lobsters to insects is the same as comparing people to parakeets.
People are more closely related to starfish than they are to lobsters. In the early embryo, the anus forms before the mouth does and this is how both people and starfish develop.
I emailed someone the information they requested and the reply I got was: “I am off to a meeting!”
Do solid state hard drives (SSD) use more energy and heat up more than conventional hard drives? Link
no left29
[“UPS Routes”] Their routes are devised so precisely that every truck is routed to make right turns only. This prevents any waiting to make left turns into traffic.
Did you hear that FedEx and UPS is merging. They are call the new company FedUp
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[“Free Internet in the Keys”] That free internet is dial-up for sure. It’s fine if you don’t mind waiting forever for a picture to open or a page to change. You have to be really broke to use dial-up.
[Sewers] FKAA plans to dump 2.35 million gallons a day in peak season at Cudjoe Key station. This is important as it could impact home values and future sales in the Lower Keys, besides our quality of life.

A number of residents and fishermen have learned that the FKAA plan for wastewater effluent at Cudjoe Regional could seriously harm our near shore waters.  Please go to this link for more information and to learn how you can help. Link

About the Big Pine Restaurant that the guy went on to say about the water for 50 cents. Water is free but the food is so good I would be glad to pay for it the water. Everything is wonderful except the liver and the dipping sauce that comes with the wings.

I love the B Pine Restaurant, been going there for years. Good food, good portions, and fast service.
Suggestions: 1: move the counter out another 12″ to broaden the working area, put some large sky lights in that roof for free light with adjustable shades on pulleys, give free refills to the idiots who buy bottled wawa. It’s water!

[Captain Doom and Gloom] “the series Manhattan” Goes to shoe you how we are being dumbed-down or worse, completely castrated with false history. SEE: Orwell’s 1984.

It’s your money they’re giving away! Wanna stop this bs? Stop paying taxes!

Obama is trying to solve our nations problems, especially immigration, so now the Right want to impeach him for it. Go figure!
“Trying to get today’s republicans to accept basic facts is like getting your dog to take a pill. You have to feed them the truth wrapped in a piece of baloney, hold their snouts shut, and stroke their throats. And even then when just when you think they’ve swallowed it, they spit it out on the linoleum.” ~Bill Maher
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Is it true they’re going to fire Obama for doing a good job and getting stuff done against all odds?
from the right
I spent much of my childhood and about 40 years of my career in Broward/Ft. Lauderdale. I’ve had to spend two days in Fll this week. It bites. Even though it’s off season, the traffic is obscene. Everywhere you go, there is a background hum of traffic and the city. At night, the stars are obliterated by street lights. For the most part sales people in stores are at best disinterested, at worst surly. The people on the street and in the stores all seem be “frowned up”, have their faces buried in a cell phone, and refuse to make eye contact. Saying “good morning” to them startles and confuses them.

But not everything is wrinkles and perdition in Broward. Years ago Broward voters tired of the same old – same old, and voted in term limits. Currently Broward commissioners are term limited 12 years, or three four-year terms. It seems to have worked. New blood comes in every now and then, and the individual commissioners no longer seem to get the “I am the King/Queen” syndrome. The whispers of corruption by power and profit are not totally silenced, but are substantially toned down.

term limits29Term limits are a shield that protects you and me from unbridled power, and the “I know better than you” syndrome on the part of elected officials. It is impossible to argue against the fact that the longer a politico is in office, the more power he/she accumulates, and the bigger and bigger their ego grows.

Deer Friends, we truthfully live in paradise, part of it is the surroundings, part of it is the people. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be improved. Let’s support which ever candidates will pledge to support term limits. Thank God for Presidential term limits. It works for our Governor’s office and our State Legislature, and it works in many county commissions throughout the state.

Part 2) It’s only about 100 days until the election. It’s time to start really thinking and comparing records so as to make a reasoned decision as to who should be our next governor. Should it be Rick Scott or Charlie Crist?

Please consider that Charlie Crist was our governor from January 2007 through January 2011

In January 07, when Charlie took office, there were 8,868,374 Floridians with jobs. By January 2011, when Charlie quit the office of Governor, only about 8,226,371 Floridians had jobs. While Charlie was Governor he was concentrating on running for the Senate, and Florida lost about 642,003 jobs.

Today, since Charlie has been out to pasture and Rick Scott is Governor, there are 9,029,175 Floridians with jobs. That’s an increase of about 802,804 new jobs since Charlie quit the Governor’s office.

Deer Friends, these are not my numbers, nor are they the numbers of the Scott campaign, they are the official numbers of Obama’s Bureau of Labor Statistics. Check them out for yourself at Link

It is no surprise that under Republican governance, Florida has been at the very forefront of job creation.

A savvy voter will wonder how we have managed to create so many new jobs, and why we are at the forefront of recovery from the Democrat recession.

The answers are available for everyone to study. It all involves creating a climate in which business can thrive. When business thrive, workers prosper, jobs are created.

In 2011, Governor Scott increased the tax exemption for business income From $5,000 To $25,000.

In 2012, Governor Scott doubled the tax exemption for business income from $25,000 To $50,000.

In 2012, Governor Scott reduced the productivity requirement for manufacturing tax exemption.

In 2013, Governor passed a manufacturing tax break that provides great incentives to an important group of employers … who grow the nation’s middle class.

rick-scott29 reduced the wait time for an environmental permit from 87 Days to 33 Days.

Governor Scott reduced the wait time for a professional license from 41 days to 2 days.

Florida leads the nation in payroll growth.

Florida leads the nation on international real estate sales.

The Sunshine State has the highest business birth rate in the U.S. Also, the state has a very high growth rate of self-employed individuals

Our liberal brethren and “sisteren” will claim that these reforms will rob the poor to profit the rich. But, they are flat wrong. In Florida, now that Charlie is history, we have a budget surplus. Thanks to that increase in tax revenue and the surplus that it creates, we are increasing spending on education and on infrastructure. Teachers are getting raises. Those who want to work now have jobs available for them. We should have pride that we are among the very forefront of job creation in the nation.

O.K., O.K., so it makes boring reading, but if you need a job, it’s damned exciting news.