2017 July

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

[“Sharks in decline”] May be your friend should look into the facts.  First sharks are not fished to 10% of their population they are at an all-time high.  Also, if not for fishing and money from licenses there would be no enforcement of the regulations or regulations to enforce keeping our fish population at a healthy and sustainable level.

[Hemp] If the words life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness don’t include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the Declaration of Independence isn’t worth the hemp it was written on.

[Traffic on US1] Regarding the Walmart in the Lower Keys. I would think that DOT would create more than one street with 2 lanes into the parking lot.  If they don’t create it somehow, then the County Commissioners ought to address it.
[How To Bathe Your Cat Without Getting Clawed] Lift the lid on the toilet.  Put 1/8 cup pet shampoo in the water.  Pick up the cat and soothe it on the way to the bathroom.  In one smooth motion, put the cat in the toilet and quickly close the lid (you may have to stand on the lid).  The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds.  Ignore the noises coming from the toilet, the cat is enjoying this.  After one minute, flush the toilet three times.  This provides a power-wash and rinse.  Have someone open your front and back door.  Be sure there are no people between the bathroom and the open doors. Stand as far behind the toilet as possible and quickly lift the lid.  The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the house and run outside to dry off.  Both the cat and the toilet will be very clean.
Instead of calling my toilet the “John” I call it “Jim.”  It sounds better when I say, “I go to the Jim first thing every morning.”
[“Uber”] In connection with the post inquiring about Uber in Keys other than KW. I know for a fact that Uber services Marathon.  A friend drives for them.



[Men] Research has found that men have only two emotions — hungry and horny.  If you see a man without an erection, make him a sandwich.

[Keynoter’s Lack of Reporting] Why doesn’t our local newspaper, the Keynoter, report anything about the Gene Thompson affair within our Monroe County Sheriffs Department which resulted in his reassignment of duties and a demotion?

Why doesn’t the City of Marathon want to talk about the reassignment of demoted Captain Gene Thompson, who headed up our City’s Law Enforcement Department?

Why is Monroe County Sheriff Rick Ramsay unwilling to publicly disclose the truth about Gene Thompson, his senior Officer in charge of his Marathon Sub-Station which was supposed to oversee the enforcement of law over our City of Marathon and be an example for our Community? Why all the silence over the Gene Thompson affair? What are they covering up and why?

From what I have been told there is a culture of sexual promiscuity and abuse throughout the Monroe County Sheriffs Department going back years under Rick Ramsay. There are even stories about Rick Ramsay himself and his affairs which may explain why he doesn’t want any of this to get out. It certainly seems to explain why and how Rick Ramsay handled the Peter Rosasco abuses of his wife over the years. To be a friend of Rick Ramsay is to be protected from responsibility for your actions against others.

Apparently serial sexual promiscuity and abuse is tolerated by Sheriff Ramsay and is just another legal matter that he chooses to ignore. To quote our Sheriff, “So sad.”  ~Bruce Schmitt



Oh my! Look at the time. I must be going.

[Writers Group] Happy Fourth, Writers! Keys Writers Group will meet this Wednesday, 1-3 pm, at the Conference Room of the Big Pine Key Library. For those of you who are still in the Keys for the summer, please RSVP. I’ll tally the responses and email again tomorrow evening so attendees will know how many copies to bring. Optional meet and greet at Bistro 31 at Noon.
[My Wife] I just retired and went to the Social Security office to apply.  When the clerk asked for proof of age I realized I had left my wallet at home.  She said, “Unbutton your shirt.”  I did as asked.  She said, “I can see all that curly grey hair and that’s good enough for me.  You’re approved.”  When I got home I told my wife about the experience.  She said, “You should have dropped your pants.  You would have gotten a disability check too.”  And that’s when the fight started.
[R.I.P.] Joel Rosenblatt, professional civil and structural engineer, died peacefully in his sleep on June 4 in Muncie, Indiana. He was 92. Joel had his office on Summerland Key for many years.


[Chronic Wasting Disease] Now that the Screwworm disease is on the wane it will be replaced by this new disease spreading across the world. Across a growing swath of North America, these animals are dying from a mysterious disorder called chronic wasting disease. It’s caused not by a virus or bacterium, but a deformed protein called a prion. Link

Is your sunscreen killing our reefs? New documentary explains Oxybenzone is incredibly toxic to coral reefs. Video
[“What the people want”] It took an act of the Florida State Legislature to get Key West to finally allow Uber in the City. It’s time to stop protecting the hotels and let AirBnB into the Keys. Will that take another push from the State to give the people what they want?


[“Stand your ground law”] If you should ever make the decision to Stand Your Ground and use a firearm in self-defense, even in mortal fear for your life, remember that every bullet that comes out of your firearm potentially has a lawyer attached to it who wants to sue your ass on behalf of the injured bad guy or his survivors.

[Spanglish Word Of The Week: July]  “You said you were going to the store but july.  Julyer.”




[Passport Required] Nine states will require passports for all domestic air travel starting in 2018. Link

[Curiosity] Sometimes, to obtain something of real value, all you need to do is to open your wallet of curiosity and start paying attention. ~Mark daWeaver
[Navy Objects to Development] The developers that are proposing the Walmart on roughly 30 acres on Rockland Key also want to build 300 units of affordable housing there, but the Navy is objecting because it is in the path of the runway and in a high jet noise area.


Does anyone know about an oil spill or diesel fuel spill along Key Deer Blvd? It is about 500 feet north of Palm Avenue (the northern border of Eden Pines) on the east side of Key deer Blvd. There are about 15 tall pines turning red to brown. The area has a strong smell like diesel fuel. The area has land clearing and other habitat destruction.

[Sanctuary Welcome New Leaders] The National Marine Sanctuary Program selected Sarah Fangman as the next Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary superintendent and Lisa Symons as deputy superintendent. Symons has been serving as acting deputy superintendent for more than six months since the Office of National Marine Sanctuaries conducted an internal review dealing with a hostile workplace environment and reassigned then-Superintendent Sean Morton and Deputy S u p e r i n t e n d e n t Mary Tagliareni. Fangman has been with the Office of National Marine Sanctuaries since 1998 and has served as Gray’s Reef superintendent since 2014.


Happy 4th of July. The Johnsons Insurance Agency is wishing you and your family a happy and safe Independence Day!  In observance of the holiday, we will be closing at 3 pm on Monday, July 3rd and will be closed on Tuesday the 4th.  We will resume normal business operations Wednesday morning.  Thank you for your business!

I’m starting to think my cyber security is at the same level as mall security
[Barracuda Attacks Girl] Please do not feed fish at Looe Key, it is against Sanctuary regulations (in the yellow buoyed areas aka Sanctuary Preservation Areas). The no fish feeding regulations are for good reason. Video


[Celebrate America] Let’s take a break from complaining about America, to celebrate  America!

[Changing the Keys] I’m so dismayed about the new ugly signs on U.S. 1 “Call 511 for traffic Info”.  Big, out-of-place, and did I mention UGLY? The Miami-fication of the Keys continues.
Deer Abby,
Why do folks in the lower Keys celebrate the Fourth of July on July 3? This is the second year in a row that they have moved the celebration to July 3. Don’t they get it or are they just stupid?
Sign me,

Deer Traditionalist,
You have a good point. I think it’s because they get a discount from the fireworks company if they celebrate the Fourth of July on some other day. I say it’s unpatriotic. Why don’t they hire a different company? Why do they keep that company? I’d like to know so I don’t suspect a kickback of some sort is going on. Happy Fourth of July (the real 4th of July)!

Stop whining and posting your problems on Facebook.  Go to a bar like everyone else.


What’s up with the 2nd Aerostat blimp? I noticed a smaller version of Fat Albert the last few days

[Computer Power User Magazine] The free online magazine for July is available now. Link



[Crime and Punishment] Russian parking control. Video

[Quiz] Do you have the ears of an audio producer? Link




This is India. It’s where you call when you have a technical problem with your computer.

I’m a combat veteran and I love the U.S.A., but I think fireworks are the most demonic waste of money. I’ve seen my share for real.
[Gas Rip-off] Anyone but me wonder why the gas stations in Summerland, Ramrod, and Big Pine Key are always higher than anywhere? If Marathon is in the $2.29 range and Big Coppitt and Key West are around $2.59, why is Shell at $2.74 and Mobile is at $2.69 forever when gas prices around the state have gone up and down by a dime or more?

There’s no reason for me not to drive the 11 miles to Big Coppitt or the 30 or so to Marathon to save that much. Sure smells like a conspiracy that needs to be looked into.



Government is instituted for the common good; for the protection, safety, prosperity and happiness of the people; and not for the profit, honor, or private interest of any one man, family, or class of men.
~John Adams 1780

The National Key Deer Refuge is part of the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges Complex along with the Key West NWR, Great White Heron NWR, and Crocodile Lake NWR. National Key Deer Refuge is managed as part of the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges Complex. A National Wildlife Refuge Complex is an administrative grouping of two or more refuges, wildlife management areas or other refuge conservation areas that are primarily managed from a central office location.  Refuges are grouped into a complex structure because they occur in a similar ecological region, such as a watershed or specific habitat type, and have a related purpose and management needs.




[Winn Dixie] Fourth of July one day sale!

Fahrenheit 451 is the temperature at which paper burns. It’s Guy Montag’s job to know these things: he’s a fireman and he burns books for a living. He loves his job doing this service for the public, but he is not happy. As his life unravels he begins to question all his beliefs.

Ray Bradbury’s cult classic was first published in 1953 but it imagines a world very like 2017, in which sophisticated mass media are used to pacify and control people; love is a commodity; attention spans are short and police hunts are live entertainment. Episode I

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